The Enlightenment

[East Coast Hustle]

wait...

does this mean that my penis isn't really about to grow 3 inches longer?

[Ghost In The Machine]

wait...

does this mean that my penis isn't really about to grow 3 inches longer?

And that Nigerian guy isn't going to make you rich.

[agent compassion]

Damn, does this mean I don't get to lose 25 pounds in the next 10 minutes with no ephedra?

[Anonymous]

Neither could "Merciless Heathen".

The "Euro Chicks" thing is an internet classic, right up there with "Asian chicks".

An internet classic, for lardasses who never leave their keyboards and swivel-chairs. Dude, I live in Europe. I'm 18. I'm American. Of course I get laid. Turd, thanks for the defence, I dunno who the hell VoT is, but ANYONE could get laid ANYWHERE in this country with a hundred dollars and a bottle of vodka.

[Ghost In The Machine]

Neither could "Merciless Heathen".

The "Euro Chicks" thing is an internet classic, right up there with "Asian chicks".

An internet classic, for lardasses who never leave their keyboards and swivel-chairs. Dude, I live in Europe. I'm 18. I'm American. Of course I get laid. Turd, thanks for the defence, I dunno who the hell VoT is, but ANYONE could get laid ANYWHERE in this country with a hundred dollars and a bottle of vodka.

Okay.  We believe you.

[Horab Fibslager]

you can also go downtown or whereever and pick up some hookers.

tho if i wanted to get laid that way, i probaly wouldn't be hard up. not that i'm caring, i want a cuddle more than a fuck.

[Hoshiko]

If you are VoT, I've gotta say that once again I'm hurt that you didn't respond to my last post. Must be a Guy from Kentucky thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go drown my sorrow in a pile of pencil shavings and cookies.

[Anonymous]

This- Quote:
What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me.  

implies dishonesty. Would you say the same thing to them in Czech with her standing there if you could? You're making excuses in order to find workarounds for being open. In my book, that's dishonest.

IMPLIES dishonesty, however, technically, that falls under speaking the truth, you know. Also, I said I CAN tell my friends who speak english about the other girls while Verča is standing next to me, I didn't say I did it all the fuckin time or anything, only a few occasions, and on those times it was brought up by my friends, not me, Czech men are waaaay more sexist and rascist (you should hear them talk about gypsies) than even my crudest Kentucky hillbilly uncle. Actually, the girls here make me out to be some sort of southern gentleman. Although, I did laugh wholeheartedly when Toma?° sai

Really, I allowed myself to be pegged all wrong here. I never told you all about the aptly named Helena, The Most Beautiful Girl I Have Ever Seen.

You see, I met Helena at a New Year's Eve party in my friend Myrek's cottage,way before Veronika, I was actually single on this occasion. I was just sittin in the corner, mindin my own business, smokin a cig and doin shots of slivovitza, when in walks this divinely tall gorgeous young woman. She was built like a brick shit-house, had eyes that could puncture a man's soul, and her head was covered with a wavy mass of black shimmering tresses. And she spoke English. Instead of starting a conversation with high hopes like I usually do, I automatically assumed that this one was so beautiful that any attempts from me would be pointless and futile. After a while I had a few more drinks (and so had she) and I was feeling quite a bit more courageous, so I began to start a conversation with her, and she was really cool, had a great personality, or maybe it just seemed that way because she was TMBGIHES, anyway, the situation was all tipped in my favor, much to my disbelief and astonishment, the body language was giving me the green light, so I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk to get some fresh air, the cottage was small and cramped and full of smoke. So we went outside and walked around the garden for a bit holding hands. I was shaking like a dog shitting razorblades the entire fucking time because for one it was fucking cold, and two, TMBGIHES was standing right next to me, holding my hand and looking up at me with those big beautiful brown eyes. So I kissed her. It was a long, deep, passionate kiss, the girl had a tongue like Gene Simmons. It was great, I think my foot even popped. But I left it at that. I made no further efforts. In most normal circumstances I would have casually slid a hand up the shirt, or leaned over and kissed the neck or an earlobe, but this time no. After the kiss, I couldn't bring myself to do any more. One kiss and a kind exchange of polite words was all I could want or expect from TMBGIHES. That, and she was entirely too drunk. Way drunker than me, and my rule with drunk chicks goes, only if I'm as drunk as they are, which on this particular occasion I wasn't. She lived nearby, so I walked her home, gave her another long goodnight kiss just because I knew I would never see her again, and she went inside, and I never saw her again. I didn't try for a phone number or a date or anything, because I know good and damn well that pretty girls make graves, and if you give one a kiss and she enjoys it (or at least appears to) than you need to get the hell out, quick, because the kind of trouble that comes with their kind totally is not even worth it.

Beautiful girls, with no imagination or personality, are good for one night stands, if they're like that.

Beautiful girls, WITH imagination and personality, I leave for somebody else who can give them everything they need, because I'm a pretentious bastard and don't deserve anything that nice.

I have no idea which Veronika is, because of the communication barrier. I singled her out of a crowd because she had the deepest, soul peircing, icy blue eyes I had ever seen, and I would always catch her staring at me as I passed in the halls, making eye contact for a few breif fleeting moments, and I couldn't tell if there was lust or pure contempt in her icy gaze, so one day I just asked her out on a date. On the course of this date I quickly learned that it was more probably than not lust which always led her eyes to mine, and so I excersized my mad czech speaking skills, actually held a decent conversation, and earned myself another outing. After that I guess we became "official" or whatever, but then over the weeks I noticed something disturbing. The girl could no longer look me in the eyes. Now, I've dated alot of prima donnas, I've dated a few pill-headed whores, I've dated a few girls who didn't know shit from apple butter, but dammit, I expect any girl I ever so much as have a conversation with to be able to look me in the eyes, and she can't do it. By all rights, i should break up with her and move on, but I just can't bring myself to do it. So you see, that's where all the recent polygamous behavior is rooted, not that I'm blaming her for my actions, I am still undoubtedly an asshole, but the whole reason I picked her out of a crowd of Czech highschool girls was because I wanted to spend some good quality time with her in my arms, gazing into her eyes, trying to read her soul the way it seemed she was trying to read mine, but now she denies me even that. So now I am a contemptuous bastard lashing out the only way I know how.

And now you know, the rest of the story.

[East Coast Hustle]

IMHO, anyone who dumps on this kid is either jealous or a hypocrite.

probably both.

as if you've never been there...

[Hoshiko]

I'm not jealous or a hypocrite. I just think the kid's got glaring problems, which he readily admits. But admitting it and using it to excuse your behavior are two completely different things. He obviously doesn't really get that he's being shady by being dishonest with her.

People are people. We all want respect and honesty, and we all have our little problems and insecurities, even these "beautiful girls" he puts up on a pedestal. I hate this classification shit.

He's right though. He should leave the girls with imagination and personality to someone else and work on what works for him now, which is "single in a foreign country with hot people". It's better for all parties that way.

...and so I excersized my mad czech speaking skills, actually held a decent conversation, and earned myself another outing. After that I guess we became "official" or whatever,...

So you can talk to her. It's not that you can't communicate (as you said before,) it's just that you don't have the guts yet.

The fact that she's not looking you in the eyes is a huge clue, man. I would bet my pony farm that she already knows.

I am still undoubtedly an asshole, but the whole reason I picked her out of a crowd of Czech highschool girls was because I wanted to spend some good quality time with her in my arms, gazing into her eyes, trying to read her soul the way it seemed she was trying to read mine, but now she denies me even that. So now I am a contemptuous bastard lashing out the only way I know how.

It's not "lashing out". You're still blaming her for your actions. You've got it good there, so just get it together and do the right thing, whatever that may be. Seriously.

[Ghost In The Machine]

This- Quote:
What's more, I can tell my friends who CAN speak english about the other girls while Veronika is standing right next to me.  

implies dishonesty. Would you say the same thing to them in Czech with her standing there if you could? You're making excuses in order to find workarounds for being open. In my book, that's dishonest.

IMPLIES dishonesty, however, technically, that falls under speaking the truth, you know. Also, I said I CAN tell my friends who speak english about the other girls while Verča is standing next to me, I didn't say I did it all the fuckin time or anything, only a few occasions, and on those times it was brought up by my friends, not me,

Make sure you look behind you when you backpedal.

Safety first, after all.

[Anonymous]

I figured if I refrained from posting for a while, then maybe the thread would die. Apparently you internet citizens take these forum thingies quite seriously.

I singled this place out as a decent spot to expose my literature, but lo and behold, the thread became a futile assault on my character and behavior towards women, and the rest of my contributions became further futile attempts to defend my character and at least rationalize if not justify my actions. I was doing pretty good there for a while, but apparently some people just can't quit. Very well, I won't stop until the thread is dead.

So you can talk to her. It's not that you can't communicate (as you said before,) it's just that you don't have the guts yet.

The fact that she's not looking you in the eyes is a huge clue, man. I would bet my pony farm that she already knows.

Yeah, I was able to have one conversation with the girl on one occasion. That was the only real conversation we ever had. She's just as quiet as I am. And about the eyes, that all started right after we started dating, before I started being a whore. And you'd be a pony farm short if you say that she already knows, cuz she doesn't. You see, she barely knows ANYTHING about me at all, that, and she lives in the next town over and doesn't even associate with the same people as I do.  
Also, I'm not blaming her for my actions, I'm blaming myself for my innapropriate reaction to her lack of action. I'm not gonna say I didn't enjoy it, but the only "right" thing I could do at this point is give her the boot, which I should have done a while ago, but I'm a terrible procrastinator, you know. But I can do it in Czech at least, and I'll do it in person, and I'll look straight into her eyes when I do. Don't know her telephone number so I can't weasel my way out of the confrontation.  "Jsme Konec" is all it would take. But I don't want her to cry, I hate it when girls cry, drives me nuts, especially if I'm the reason she's crying, cuz I'm such a shitty person to be crying over, but then again, I am American, I guess that counts for something in her reasoning. So, on the agenda for this week, I'll break some innocent Czech girl's heart and then try to pretend that it doesn't bother me.  


Also, Ghost, go fuck a nun.

[Ghost In The Machine]

I figured if I refrained from posting for a while, then maybe the thread would die. Apparently you internet citizens take these forum thingies quite seriously.

Also, Ghost, go fuck a nun.

In other words, this thread didn't turn out the way you planned.

As for fucking a nun, I've kicked that habit.  

[Hoshiko]

So, on the agenda for this week, I'll break some innocent Czech girl's heart and then try to pretend that it doesn't bother me.

Better that than the alternative. This can only end badly if you keep ignoring it anyway.

I'm not trying to ressurect your thread, but if you post about something shitty that you've done and will continue to do and I see it, I'm gonna call you on it because I hate to see someone smart and with a good sense of style be a jerk over something so petty and mean. I figure you only get so many asshole points awarded to you in one life, and you should save those for when you're drunk at weddings or crying inappropriately or flush things down toilets, or you won't have any family or friends left. I'd hope people here would do the same for me, because everyone needs a good kick in the shin sometimes. Especially Ghost, because I told him to stop fucking nuns last week already and here we are again.

Where was I?

You seem like a good (but sometimes misguided) guy and I'm feeling generous, so take these staples as my gift and go do what young American guys do best: give the rest of our country a bad name.

[Ghost In The Machine]

Especially Ghost, because I told him to stop fucking nuns last week already and here we are again.

What can I say?  I'm an addict.