Like What The Fuck?

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Like-What-the-Fuck, man?
Some more notes on another Eristic encounter.


This latest party was being held in a storefront. Since some of the cabal was going, I figured it would at least be entertaining. So I went along. The band was playing music so loud that it was hard to even think. It was hot, sweaty, smoky, and crowded. But that never really matters. What matters is where the kegs are and if the back door is functioning. (It helps to know where all the exits are in any given location.) We found the kegs in the back, outside, where there were more of the usual crowds milling about smoking and refilling their plastic cups...everyone dressed up to look like either some trucker's rejected children or some hang-around-the-cafe-all-day artistes. There was an assortment of fake green St. Paddy's day crap as well. (Chicago people lack imagination when it comes to clothing.)

Official decides to pull out his newly found friend, senior misterioso...or his latest stash of hashish for those of you bereft of official-speak. Official starts to smoke himself to the high heavens, but before he can see the gods and start to ramble on about them, he walks off into the crowd while puffing away. I decide to strike up a conversation with the people who one always finds standing near the kegs, always ready for a refill. To my horror, they are wearing the kitschy green...like the sort you find at a St. Patrick's Day parade. I refill my cup without saying a word. Thankfully the beer is not dyed green.

I walk over to St. Kallista who appears to be in a heated argument with some frat-types. "This could be interesting," I say to myself, already thinking that I should probably go back inside and see if the music got any better. I hear one of the frat-types say "But that's like the Indians, man. They're always complaining about how crapped on they are. What's up with that? This is a free society." I simply stand there with a smile.

St. Kallista is an American Indian, you see. She never made a big deal about it, at least as far as the cabal is concerned, but she is proud of it. I knew something was going to happen.

"Indians," she said. "We should have finished those people off."

"Yeah, what use are they to America nowadays?" said the frat-type.

"Hitler was right," St. K responded.

There was a slight pause as the idiot frat-type possibly experienced an inkling of cognition for the first time in his life.

"Yeah, so he was."

His friends nodded in agreement. I thought about the stupidity of most white people for a moment until I noticed St. K looking at me with that 'what are you gonna contribute?' look on her face. So I went back by the kegs to inform the swill devotees of the creeping rise of fascism over by St. K. (You can always count on a few drunks to suddenly turn into anti-nazi machines when the shit hits the fan.)

By this point, St. K has somehow gotten the frat-types shouting "Hitler, Sieg Heil!" which astonishes me. She has slipped away and into another circle of people, all of whom are looking at the offenders. Jaws dropped. Mouths froze open. Myself, I just refill my cup, and nod to the people around me. One of them says "Like what the fuck, man?" Him and a couple others go over to the frat-types and the pushing and punching starts. It happened so seamlessly it was like choreography. Heh.

I feel a shove and turn around. There is Official starting to drag one of the kegs away. He looks at me and says "What the fuck, man? Why not? When in doubt..." I just smile. Within seconds a generalized brawl has broken out, so I decide to help him. Through all the shouting and shuffling and onlooking and whatnot, no one ever seems to notice the two of us and the keg. We manage to have it 'rolled' through the back driveway and halfway down the alley before St. K catches up with us.

Finally the night got interesting.

(No kegs were harmed in the recounting of this story, though the same can't be said for the idiots.)

[march.15.2005]

[Cain]

Its like Reality trolling...poor sods, I almost feel sorry for them.  No wait, thats a lie.  They deserved whatever happened to them, probably more.

[LMNO]

Sadly, my life is no where near that interesting...

[Zurtok Khan]

Have I told you lately that I love you and that I wish I could've been there to see it?

Props to you St. Hugh, and Props to St. Kallista =)