LMNO-PI

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Yes. Yes you do.

Don't make me sic the felonious mathematician mafia on you.

They've got Pi-fu.

Crap, that rhymes, doesn't it?

I think it may also qualify as Discordian haiku
4  19  4

[Bob the Mediocre]

Yes. Yes you do.

Don't make me sic the felonious mathematician mafia on you.

Your rhyming talents will not get you out of your need to write stuff. Want me to bump the story?

And welcome back, btw.

[gnimbley]

Speaking of writing stuff. Fluffy says that if LMNO doesn't get off the
pot and get back to writing, she just might let him live.

[LMNO]

Scene: Interior GARAGE.  Low ceiling, rows of semi-futuristic cars lined up neatly.  No movement.  Camera holds, not moving.

SFX: Faint tires squealing, engine revving.

No movement

SFX: Engine revving growing louder.  Sirens heard.

A car, a mixture of an SUV and a BMW roadster, crashes into view.  It is going far too fast for such an enclosed space.  Behind it, sinister Tank/Hummer hybrids storm into frame.

CLOSE UP - Car Windshield: Camera closes in on LMNO, focused behind the wheel, a grimace on his face, and ERIN, looking anxious and terrified.  LMNO mouths some words.

SUBTITLE - LMNO: Well, hold on then.  It,Äôll be a tight fit.

PAN to ERIN as she grips the dashboard.

CUT TO: A small opening in the garage wall, barely larger than the car LMNO is driving.

SFX: extremely loud gunshot.

CUT TO: A ragged and ugly hole appearing in the rear fender of the Car.  The implication is that the police are using extremely powerful firepower to bring down LMNO and ERIN.

CUT TO:  LMNO,Äôs foot jamming the gas pedal to the floor.

CUT TO: The car leaping forward, heading straight for the opening.  It fits, just barely, as sparks fly, the metal and concrete battling each other.

SFX: Squealing and screeching more annoying that 1983-era Neubauten.

CUT TO: CLOSE UP of ERIN, screaming.

ERIN: Slow the fuck down!  There,Äôs a turn!

CUT TO: The first of the Tanks slamming into the opening.  That are too big, and the resultant crash is understandably horrific.  The Tanks behind it swerve, attempting to avoid crashing, but fail.

SFX: Impossibly loud and flaming explosion.

CUT TO: LMNO, eyes wide.

CUT TO: LMNO POV: a 90-degree left turn in the tunnel.

CUT TO: LMNO wrestling with the steering wheel.  Sparks illuminate the hard line of his jaw as he attempts to keep himself and ERIN alive.

CUT TO: The car barely making the turn as flames from the explosion follow them through the tunnel, then recede.

LMNO: Are there any more of those turns I should know about?

ERIN: No, I think that,Äôs the only one.

LMNO: I,Äôm sorry to say, we,Äôre probably going to have to ditch the car.

ERIN: OK, genius, how do you propose to get to the Ocean then?  No, let me guess.  You know somebody.

LMNO: Actually, yes.

CUT TO: LMNO POV: the tunnel getting wider.  LMNO,Äôs hands unclench from around the steering wheel, and he relaxes slightly.

SFX: Engine noise diminishes somewhat as the car slows.

CUT TO: ERIN,ÄôS apartment building, exterior.  A small garage door opens, and the car, battered and beaten, slowly pulls out.

PAN TO: Down the street, a caravan of tanks surround the main entrance of the building.  Cops in full military/riot gear are running into the building.  None seem to notice the car.

CUT TO: Car slowly pulling away, and soon out of sight of the police.

CUT TO: Car, interior.

LMNO: Let,Äôs hope the heliplanes don,Äôt notice us.

ERIN: Yeah, let,Äôs.  So now that you,Äôve brought the cops to my apartment, left at least one body next to the elevator, destroyed and probably killed the cops in the tanks that were chasing us, wrecked my car, and are about to subject me to what I can only assume will be extreme psychological torture, What do you propose to do?

CUT TO: CLOSE UP, LMNO.

LMNO: How about some pizza?

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Pizza fixes a lot of things, but......

[LMNO]

Oh, come on, I can't believe you're not seeing where this is going...

[gnimbley]

Are you telling me the City (tm) is in Maine?

P.S. fluffy says you deserve to be killed.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Tommy, I fucking hate this district, why are we here again?
Charlie, I told you we got a tip this psychic bitch knows something about Erin.
But what could she possibly know.
I don't really give a fuck, let's just get in and out as quickly as we can, I don't like it down here any better than you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jaweewee was in the front of the store.  Her aunt was a late riser, so she always opened the store.  And made the coffee she knew her aunt would need when she did finally wake up.  It was nice, though.  Being in the store alone, with the smell of incense and candles.  And she could always read the books on the shelves, as long as she was careful not to mess up the covers.  And she could wear what she wanted, usually the flowing skirts she made with her aunt's help.  And the tie dyed shirts her aunt never seemed to be able to get just right.  It was nice to be able to something her aunt couldn't do, it made her feel special.  From the smell of the rain, the oil, not actual rain, she knew her aunt was up.  Jaweewee was glad, too, because there were 2 strange looking guys coming toward the store.  Not the usual strange, hippies, technomages, tarot readers, Scrabble players, those crazy haiku warriors, no, these were wearing those suits like the gov'ment guys you see in the vid's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Excuse me miss, my name is Thomas Diknary  and this is Charles Farley we are looking for an Ellie Eldora.

Oh, that's my aunt, hang on a second.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She disappeared behind a beaded curtain.  Tommy could almost make out their whispers, but not quite.  Charlie was too busy wiping the sweat off his brow, damn he got nervous easy.  The first thing Charlie noticed about this psychic was her breasts, did she really need her corset cinched like that.  Any tighter and she wouldn't be able to see.  The first thing Tommy noticed were her eyes, what color were they?  Piercing, like looking at the sun, you wanted to look away because you could feel the gaze going right through you, made his skin crawl.  Tommy handed her the pic, trying not to look directly in her eyes, but also trying not to look like he was trying to not to look in her eyes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ma'am, we are looking for this woman, do you recognize her?

No, why would you think I would?

We have on file that she came to see you when she was a child.

Well, why would I recognize someone I only saw as a child, now that she is obviously a full grown woman.  

You are a psychic, right?

What Mr. Farley means is, we thought that as a psychic you might be able to help us, if you don't recognize her, that's fine, we'll be on our way, but could you take one more look, please?

OK, hand it back to me and I will look again.....no, I am sorry I could not be of more help.

That's OK, thanks for your time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And with that they left, mumbling something about psychics being jokes.  Telling each other psychic jokes and generally being nervous asses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[LMNO]

Are you telling me the City (tm) is in Maine?

Not really.  He might have finally sold that place & moved.

P.S. fluffy says you deserve to be killed.

The bunny is quite right.  I am a bad, bad, horrible person.

By the way gnimbley, would you have any inclination to write a poem about The City for the anthology?

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Well, that was an interesting performance, I have not seen you block your emotions like that in a long time, wassup?  You knew that woman, Erin, didn't you?

Oh, I think I first met Erin when she was about 9 or 10.  Cute kid, but obviously troubled.  She grew up in The City, which isn't such a bad thing, really.  Her parents lived in the high rent district and all that.  You were lucky to have the family you did, you were in The City, but you always had all of us.  We were able to protect you, one of us would be able to see the things you saw and we never doubted you.  Erin's problem surfaced the first time they left The City.  On their very first trip they took the kid to the beach.  And not just any beach, no, they had to take her to that beach.  

Well, the first thing that happened was her poor little brain could not comprehend all that open space.  That doctor they took her to had a word for it, but naming it never helped her.  In this overwhelmed state she picked up on things she was not at all equipped to deal with.  Hell, I would be ill equipped to deal with it, I would make your mom go, she's used to talking with the dead, but I am getting ahead of myself.  

I should probably go back to the accident.  Well, they said it was an accident, but you never know.  Ever since those crazies hijacked those planes the Law(tm) tried to make it real tough for everyone, not just the crazies.  So a lot of people went underground, but without proper ID it made it difficult to travel.  Greyhound stock skyrocketed, but that's another story.  But the Black Market for ID's made even more money than that.  Then of course, the crazies got hold of fake ID's and got on a plane again.  That's what most everyone thinks, but THEY(tm) say it was just an accident.  The worst was that it happened so close to takeoff and the explosion was so bad, that it did indeed rain body parts and this is what that poor little child saw and felt and sensed and her parents, even though they knew what she saw was real, even if it happened long ago, poo pooed the whole thing.  Aren't you glad you only see the living?  Seeing through people can be taxing enough, but seeing dead people, and like that, it takes a toll on a person.  

After the shrink visits did no good at all and possibly some harm, Erin's aunt Ella Mae brought her to see me.  Ella was the crazy one in the family, so the rest of them thought.  As far as I could tell, she was the sane one.  You've met her before, the one with the really wild red hair?  She could see that they weren't doing that poor kid any good.  Well, I taught Erin what I could of self hypnosis and relaxation techniques, but I think the thing that helped the most was going to the archives.  The underground network where all the censored Web material went.  I knew her parents would never let her have access to that stuff.  And none of the Access Points were in her neighborhood.  The fact that they were mobile to stay ahead of the Law(tm) didn't help either.  Who knew the Law(tm) would find a way to bring the Burning Times(tm) back, not by burning the books, no everything was electronic these days, but by making so many things disappear off of the Web.  You're lucky to have access to the underground.  Knowledge is power and THEY(tm) think we have lost that power as well, but we still have some power.  We used to call it mirroring, making copies of websites, it was a good thing so many of us got into the habit of doing that all the time.  Most websites used to be in this country, did you know that?  Then everything got so restrictive, most of them went overseas.  But THEY(tm) still make pages or even entire sites disappear.  

Aunt Ellie, how many times are you going to tell me all these stories?

Until I can be sure you understand them.  Until I can be sure you know them all.  Until I can be sure you will never forget them.

[LMNO]

Eldora, are you trying to say Tommy is gay?

...and since this looks like a serial piece, i think you should start a new thread...

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Eldora, are you trying to say Tommy is gay?

...and since this looks like a serial piece, i think you should start a new thread...

Not a serial, I just got carried away and broke it into two pieces, if you want it in a different thread, that's fine, I actually thought about that, after I posted it

No, Tommy was smart enough to be afraid , but he might be gay, who knows

[gnimbley]

By the way gnimbley, would you have any inclination to write a poem about The City for the anthology?

Maybe. What's my motivation?

[LMNO]

Cookies!

[Gimoz]

z0mg!
Two pwnage stories in the same thread!
*head explodes from too much pwnage*

//Boom