Auditions

[Efrim]

*sits down in director's chair*

So I suppose you're wondering why I've called you here today. Well, I knew the decision would be difficult, but I did not anticpate the response I got. This thread has been created for those who wish to audition for the part of Chef. To protect interested parties, I request that those who have the nerve to STEP do so as guests. Send me a PM before you audition if you want credit for it. That is all. I now await the horror. Assuming interested parties are willing to test, that is.

[Chef]

IF YOU STEP, STEP HARD.

CHEF D,
NEEDS A NEW OPIE TO CALL HOME.

[CHEF D]

NO NEED TO FRONT, OPIE.

THE CRYSTAL IS ON ICE AND TALUFA IS ON HIS WAY OVER.

CHEF D,
WONDERS WHY OPIEZ WOULD THINK HE'S A COMMODITY

[CHEF - the REAL man]

YOU THINK YOU ALL IS DAH CHEF?

YOU CANT EVEN CAPITALIZE *MY* NAME THE RIGHT WAY

CHEF-
AINT NOTHING LITTLE ON THIS MAN

[Chef, kitchen oracle]

CANT BELIEVE DESE OPIES, DONT KNOW HOW TO PLAY
MUTHAFUCKIN STUPID'S WHAT THEY BE

CHEF BE IN DA KITCHEN, BLACK MEN IN DA KITCHEN, WHITE WOMEN WAITIN TABLES




CHEF INDA K-
COOKIN UP TROUBLE FO WHITEY

PS CANT FIND DOSE OTHA PICS FROM DAT FUCKED COMPANY, SO I STEAL DESE FUCKAS - HAF A BREAD BASET

[Chef, kitchen oracle]

YO, EFRIM, HIPPIE DUDE.  YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN DESE OTHA FOOLS DECIDE TO WAKE UP AND JOIN DA PARTY.  I GOTTA DO BREFAST IN DA MORNIN, SO I BE GOIN TO BED NOW.  I BE LOOKIN AROUN AT ALL THE FINE LADIES YOU GOT UP IN HYA, MAKE ME THINK THAT ROGER BOY BE CRAZY TO GO AWAY.   BETTER FO ME, THO.  HERE A HIPPIE GIRL FO YA.  I THINK SHE BE A GIRL, YOU BETTA CHECK FO YOU DO ANYTHIN, KNOW I MEAN?

CHEF INDA K-

ALWAYS LOOKIN OUT

[Malaul]

I like the one above
very cute

[Horab Fibslager]

let chef die.

this reminds me of the terry schiavo thing.

[The Open Bar]

uhh....er....waysa opiez!....this issa...er...chef...holler...um..


...<sigh>....something about bags....oh forget it.

[DJRubberducky]

I'd audition, but the last time I pretended to channel CHEF in front of my husband, he threatened to disconnect my Internet access from work, and he is in fact capable of doing so.

So...pass, and good luck to whomever, if we don't in fact decide he's better off dying with dignity.

[Z³]

Chef has been tested, and he has failed.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

I DON'T NEED NO FRICKING HIPPIE TONGAN SWIMMING AROUND IN MY HEAD! BESIDES THE FACT THAT I AIN'T NO OPIE. AND THE FACT THAT I EAT HABANEROS 24/7. CHEF, WHY YOU WANNA TEST?

NEXT TIME I SEE YUO, YUO BETTER BRING YO BAGGIE...

FUCK THE TEDDY BEAR. THERE WON'T BE NO SHRINE FOR YUO.

[Bella]

uhh....er....waysa opiez!....this issa...er...chef...holler...um..


...<sigh>....something about bags....oh forget it.

:P This is great. :P

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

I think he actually got the gist of it.