News:

PD.com: Trimming your hair in accordance with the anarchoprimitivist lifestyle

Main Menu

REPENT, SINNERS

Started by Jack Chick, April 05, 2005, 08:32:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 2
User actions

Daven

#15
April 05, 2005, 07:09:03 PM
Quote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.

Yeah, I gotta admit that this version is kinda stupid.  The Real Jack Chick would be telling us of God's love, and how he loves us so much that he'll punish us for eternity for not loving him back.  THAT is the kind of Jack Chick that I expect to see.

Sorry "Jack" I just don't buy it any more.  YOu loose.
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

"My god carries a hammer.  Your god died nailed to a cross.  Any questions?"
"He's your god, they're your rules, YOU burn in hell."

Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell

#16
April 05, 2005, 09:37:33 PM
Quote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.

Yeah, I'm really bad at this.
Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli, G.G.L.F., C.L.F., L.F.L.F., R.M.S.T.A., R.P.C.V., N.C.c., T.R.R.R., W.I.T.C.H., W.P.P., V.P.D.F.Y.S., S.C.U.M., I.G.R.S.A.F.D.S.K.S.K.J.J.J.S.Y.Y.D.F.D.K.D.S.F.K.S.D.K.J.L.K.F.G.K.S.D.G.G.J.R.J.S.T.S and other various divisions of the Maude Senger cabal of the Pantheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, and President for Life of the Holy Empire of Ayatollah Discordiolla

img]http://www.dontyouwantmebaby.com/fark/bond_077_hasselhoff_animate.gif[/img]

Daven

#17
April 05, 2005, 09:40:13 PM
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell
Quote from: LMNOOk, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.

Yeah, I'm really bad at this.

Sorry.  You tried.  Too bad you sucked at it.  ;-)
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." - Galileo Galilei

"My god carries a hammer.  Your god died nailed to a cross.  Any questions?"
"He's your god, they're your rules, YOU burn in hell."

Jack Chick Audition

#18
April 06, 2005, 05:46:57 AM
Let me give it a shot...


Brothers and sisters!

You know the Lord God Loves you.  You know that Jesus loves you!  By God, it says so right in the good book!  The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit.  And do you know how much the Lord God loves you?  Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!

I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you.  He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity.  He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.

Your Goddess is a False Goddess!  She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH!  She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.

Do not deny the Gift that has been Given!  All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris?  Do not deny the blessings of God!  Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.

Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos!  For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land.  The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.


Praise be to God!

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

#19
April 06, 2005, 09:02:23 AM
Quote from: Jack ChickCHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL

Shut up, you filthy Tibetan heretic!

Taking our Lord's name in vain will only get you crucified!

And taking hell's name in vain is a mortal sin, you donkey raping idiot!

God hates you.
"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

LMNO

#20
April 06, 2005, 01:18:03 PM
Quote from: Jack Chick AuditionLet me give it a shot...


Brothers and sisters!

You know the Lord God Loves you.  You know that Jesus loves you!  By God, it says so right in the good book!  The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit.  And do you know how much the Lord God loves you?  Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!

I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you.  He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity.  He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.

Your Goddess is a False Goddess!  She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH!  She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.

Do not deny the Gift that has been Given!  All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris?  Do not deny the blessings of God!  Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.

Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos!  For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land.  The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.


Praise be to God!

Better, but still not very funny...

B_M_W

#21
April 06, 2005, 08:16:24 PM
QuoteYour Goddess is a False Goddess! She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH! She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.

I think it would have been better if you hadn't used YHWH, instead you should have used a more english christian name, like King of the Earth and the Heavens. Or something.

                                    ~BMW
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Billy Bob Biblethumper

#22
April 06, 2005, 08:58:51 PM
BLASPHEMER!

You are the not the sacred and holy Chick! YOU ARE AN IMPOSTER!

May your loins be grid with the thorns of a thousand rose bushes!
May your temples be pierced by the screaming of a thousand out of tune iPods!
May your lips be sealed by a swack of Kathy Bates' sledge!

You all should be ashamed of yourselves!

HERETICS!
Have you been born again?

Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell

#23
April 06, 2005, 10:32:13 PM
Quote from: Jack Chick AuditionLet me give it a shot...


Brothers and sisters!

You know the Lord God Loves you.  You know that Jesus loves you!  By God, it says so right in the good book!  The book that in 2000 years, hasn't changed a bit.  And do you know how much the Lord God loves you?  Enough to Forgive you, that's how much!

I'll tell you how much our Lord, Jesus Christ, amen, loves you.  He loves you enough NOT to send you to the fiery pits of HELL to BURN for Eternity.  He loves you enough to spare your SOULS from TORMENT.

Your Goddess is a False Goddess!  She mocks the powers of our Lord in Christ, and the Holy Father, YHWH!  She spits mud at Him as he tries to better humanity through the suffering of Jesus Christ.

Do not deny the Gift that has been Given!  All of you are dammed, all of you are forsaken, all of you are in confusion, precisely because you are without the Hand of God at your side, guiding you, leading you to the victory over Satan, who uses the name Eris?  Do not deny the blessings of God!  Let Jesus Christ love you, as you should love Jesus Christ.

Do not be fooled by the myth of Chaos!  For it was said, that The LORD did separate the Land from the Sky, and the Water from the Land.  The LORD can separate Order from Chaos, and if you truly believe in the Lord, he shall relieve your chaotic suffering, and give you ETERNAL ORDER.


Praise be to God!

Needs more mranting about the Catholic conspiracy.
Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli, G.G.L.F., C.L.F., L.F.L.F., R.M.S.T.A., R.P.C.V., N.C.c., T.R.R.R., W.I.T.C.H., W.P.P., V.P.D.F.Y.S., S.C.U.M., I.G.R.S.A.F.D.S.K.S.K.J.J.J.S.Y.Y.D.F.D.K.D.S.F.K.S.D.K.J.L.K.F.G.K.S.D.G.G.J.R.J.S.T.S and other various divisions of the Maude Senger cabal of the Pantheo-Anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, and President for Life of the Holy Empire of Ayatollah Discordiolla

img]http://www.dontyouwantmebaby.com/fark/bond_077_hasselhoff_animate.gif[/img]

MadMa gentLemon

#24
April 07, 2005, 08:20:03 PM
Good thing about xtians, they've got faith in God. Makes them think they're protected while they're in my sniper scope. <nods>
-><-
Metal Thrashing Madness
-><-

::proud to be fingercuffed to Malaul::

Thoughts come and go. But memories are what you remember.



The Shotgun of Mild Reason
Print
Go Up Pages 1 2
User actions