News:

PD.Com: Pretention in a can.

Main Menu

'Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch'

Started by Great Teacher Largo, April 08, 2005, 10:53:57 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Great Teacher Largo

This is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.


Creative Screwed Me Like a Bitch
ACT 1, SCENE 1

The setting is a computer hardware shop.  Rows of parts are on shelves.  Audigy is on a shelf near to the front, looking cute.

Boo enters from stage left, looks around.

Audigy:  Buy me!  I'm ever so sexy, for I output in 7.1 channels, with crystal quality and hardware MP3 encoding and decoding!

Boo:  Audigy, my love!  Come home with me, and together we will sample such marvels of musical delight as none before us have known!

Audigy:  I love you, Boo!

Boo:  I love you, Audigy!

Boo and Audigy exit stage left.

ACT 1, SCENE 2

Boo:  There, my darling, how is that?  It's the PCI slot you wanted, with the greatest cooling, and I even put in a much larger PSU, just incase you had a desire for more juice.  Now, let us sample-

Boo is cut off by Audigy.

Audigy:  LET JESUS FUCK YOU IN THE ASS WITH LLAMAS, SON OF A FRENCH FUCKER!

Audigy begins to trash Boo's computer, playing noise across the PCI Bus.

Hard Drive:  Mein leben!  Nein!  Neeeeein!

Hard Drive head crashes and falls over.

Audigy:  BLARG!  AUUUGH!  YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL, PRIEST!  FUCK ME!

Modem:  Me Necavit Nonne?!

Modem catches fire and burns.

Curtains close.
"Any sufficiently tentacled spheroid is indistinguishable from the Great Cthulhu." -- Watashi

"Never attribute to Cthulhu what can adequately be explained by Dagon." -- Miskatonic Razor

"Everything but Sterility can be inherited.  None of your direct ancestors died childless." -- Red Queen

Note to filmmakers of the future: bad dialog leads to anger, bad directing leads to hatred, shallow action sequences lead to suffering. Farming out a movie to a corporation of computer animators is a path to the dark side of filmmaking.

High Inquisitor of the LMNO Society of Discordians (LSD)

It is dark.  You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

This Poster is Owned and Operated by the Frobozz Magic Co., Ltd.

Sepia

Everyone will always be too late

Horab Fibslager

my oem ac'97 pwnz j0 overpriced audigy.
Hell is other people.

Lurker

Quote from: Great Teacher LargoThis is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.

Do you EVER shut up?

Bella

Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoThis is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.

Do you EVER shut up?
You're kidding, right?
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Lurker

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoThis is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.

Do you EVER shut up?
You're kidding, right?

No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?

Horab Fibslager

largo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.
Hell is other people.

Anonymous

Quote from: horab fibslagerlargo already has a website.

http://www.rcaston.com/
RCaston.com :: Now with 5 more mhz


eric.com would be more apprpriate by far.

Whatever.  Does this guy ever sleep?  He posts nonsense in every single thread, and does it all day long.

The fucking retard just won't shut up.  Ever.

Bella

Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoThis is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.

Do you EVER shut up?
You're kidding, right?

No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?
I was being sarcastic. He never stops.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Anonymous

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Lurker
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoThis is my performance of a one act play.  The original can be viewed here.

Do you EVER shut up?
You're kidding, right?

No.  Jesus H Christ, why don't you just change the name of the forum to "Largo.com"?
I was being sarcastic. He never stops.

How do you stand it?

LMNO

Quote from: Anonymous
How do you stand it?



::shrugs::

I use the best, I use the rest.
I use the enemy
I ingnore inanity!

CORNHOLIO

Quote from: Anonymous

How do you stand it?
I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D
ARE YOU THREATENING ME??? IIII AAAMMMM COOORRRNNNHOOOLLIIOOOOO!!!!!!

Butthead

Quote from: CORNHOLIO
Quote from: Anonymous

How do you stand it?
I just pretend he is a teeny tiny little itty bitty gnat and that his words are farts, heh, HEHEHE, heh, then I go have some nachos and crapachino and then my bunghole it goes, rakakakakakaka, heh, heh, heh, then I remember that Roger likes me better then that gnat, heh, or something, or kill me :D

Huhuhuhuhuh...

Butthead

This sucks like nothing has ever sucked before.

East Coast Hustle

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"