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titles can go fuck themselves

Started by Horab Fibslager, April 11, 2005, 02:39:40 AM

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Horab Fibslager

Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom:D  Another chapter. Cool.

actually two :) i wasn't feeling where i had been going before, so i revised and broke the story.
Hell is other people.

Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

Very nice.  And the way the earlier chapters were, this break worked out OK.  Good job.  Will there be more soon?  Pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease :D

LMNO


Bella

Quote from: Horab Fibslagerch 7 - this one's for you.
:P

I love it. It has blood and giant wabbits to hunt. I'd say it's perfect.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Horab Fibslager

ch 8. respect my authority!

i feel into to a burning ring of fire, iw ent down down down and the flames went a higher and it burned burned burned... "i thought you wanted a classic rock station, not country" L commented as he struggled witht he wheel aroudn a croner at 70 mile sper hour.
"yeah but JC is good man, anyways, who are you?" this knocked L unexpectedly adn he almost hit a passing lien of school children and stopped the car. "what?"
"er you msut forgive me, i'm not sure who youa re, or how  got here, i was just fighting soem rabbit and margeret was destroying the city and blam, i'm here. i suspect the author is fuckign with me. ormaybe it's Her, but since i was reborn, i do't recall anything of much in teh space between death and then. it's fading ffast. all i can recall is sitting for six eternities in a esert on a lawn chair with a cooler full of beer. i don't even know whymy stomach hurts."
"hold on, you're losing your memory?"
"maybe, i guess, it's mayeb a mattter of states, oen being mutually exclsuive, as move back into godhood, i lose my knowledge of exeprience of humanity and death. it's why i coudln't remember that girl's name.
"what girl?"
"the girl who killed me in teh first place. look where are we going?"
"to the coffee terrorist's lair"
"that sounds awful, i dont' drink coffee"
"youw anted doughnuts."
"do they have burgas? or pot pies?"
"i'm sure they might." L looks dubiosu about this and regarded his passnger who was fiddlign with the radio again.
"hey do you know anyone i might need to rescue? a woman or a girl or soemthign female maybe?"
"well not as i am currently aware, hmm."
"hmm?"
"well maybe, maybe i know someone who can help you"
"well who might that be?"
whatever the answer tthe question is, it was interupted by margert thatcher, 60 feet tall and wailing nuclear fury godzilla style picked up the car and threw it out of her on the way to wherever shewas going. Horab being the sort of carign guy he was, pulled L out of the driver seat and opening the door as the sailed through the air, stepped out into...

tehy called him a scribe and they didn't know why. maybe it was that when he wasn't doing odd things like breaking people's fingers and then shoving them into their eyes, he was writing, but who can be sure in these troubled times. he looked up from his task at his associate an dbrother in arms,a mr stain who who had the odd fetish of talking liek a russian but only soemtimes. "are we go?"
"da, comrade, teh pizzeria is locked down, the troops are ready, we move now.
"good, i've never seen the city so awash with blood, soemthign is happening, who knows what, but we go in, get the package, and get out. our time is now. if we can't save it, tho..." he looked a touch worried about this, his usually neutral expression on his unchrachtersitcally young face marred.
"then we go for broke."
"today is a good day to die"
"da, comrade, for mother russia"
"for eris"
"she doesn't exist"
"so what? niether does russia, anymore. let's go crack soem skulls"

...a room. wtihtables and chairs and people, many dressed oddly fromhorab's estimation. awoman, who seemed at first glance tobe unsually hairy, and at secodn glance to be wearing a cat's head over her own sauntered up to horab, a razor sharp claw springing out of the finger tip she pressed into horab's shoulder. her eyes widened in surprise and she hissssed "imposter" under her breath, steppnig back with all her claws beared now, ready to strike. L postitoned hismelf between them quickly "hey hey hold on now, he's no imposter, he got called back, robrn, right horab?"
"yeah, something like that, is this soemone i should know too?"
the womean who looked liek a cat sniffed at him a moment
"i am offended, you don't know me? of course you know me baby."
"i apologize, my memory..."
"he's having issues or somethign right now."L interupted, "look what the fuck was that, was th at really margaret thatcher spitting nuclear holocaust ?"
"yeah, she's an old nemesis of mine, hard to beat, the authro definitely is fuckign with me.
"author?" teh lady cat asked a questiong look upon her face.
"mal, i dunno, he's been goign on about soemauthor for the last five minutes. is the way clear?"
"it's been a bit muddled lately, the stars are not right, the ley lines are crossed badly. if you want to go, it coudl be dangerous."
"danger is my middle name" horab said absent mindedly looking out thewindows onto the street. people were pouring out ofthebuildings screaming as they flooeded the roadway. soemthign was happening.
"then we should go, quickly, be careful mal, something werid is happening."
"with horab around? no way"
"i fidn your sarcasm comforting, now"
and with that, they softly and slwoly disapeared, at he sound of the amgic words.
Hell is other people.

LMNO

Ha!


I see what you mean about ripping off the conclusion of Illuminatus!.  But I think you improve on it.

10/10

Horab Fibslager

it may or may not be my current plot device, sinc ei really have no idea who or what horab is sposed to save yet.

and you're giving it a ten cuz you'r ein it.  :oops:
Hell is other people.

LMNO

No, I'm giving it a 10 for this:

Quote from: The Author"da, comrade, teh pizzeria is locked down, the troops are ready, we move now.
"good, i've never seen the city so awash with blood, soemthign is happening, who knows what, but we go in, get the package, and get out. our time is now. if we can't save it, tho..." he looked a touch worried about this, his usually neutral expression on his unchrachtersitcally young face marred.
"then we go for broke."
"today is a good day to die"
"da, comrade, for mother russia"
"for eris"
"she doesn't exist"
"so what? niether does russia, anymore. let's go crack soem skulls"

Horab Fibslager

really? that's jsut rather bad allusion. pay it no mind. i'll probaly break teh plot again next chapter.
Hell is other people.

Horab Fibslager

hey anyone wanna be my editor for this story?

wanna illustrate it?

if you're interested in either gimme a pm.

for illsutratiosn i'm lookinf for somethign anime-ish, liek the action scenes of akira, or paper eleven.

minimlaist where he details have impact.  you get a fair amount of freedom but i have overall art direction and final say.

on both counts you get full credit for your work, and should it be published to paper, a cut of whatever money i get(unless the publisher does it different than that).
Hell is other people.

LMNO

Hey, I'll edit the thing, if you want.

You looking for spelling, grammar, syntax or continuity?

fluffy

Quote from: LMNOHey, I'll edit the thing, if you want.

You looking for spelling, grammar, syntax or continuity?


meaning, more likely

LMNO

Quote from: Horab Fibslagerreally? that's jsut rather bad allusion. pay it no mind. i'll probaly break teh plot again next chapter.


If that's a bad allusion, then LMNO-PI is nothing more than a reacharound to the entire PD Forums.

Irreverend Hugh, KSC

"Time for the tin-foil hats, girls and boys!"

Horab Fibslager

Quote from: LMNOHey, I'll edit the thing, if you want.

You looking for spelling, grammar, syntax or continuity?

all those things. well i want to keep the minimalist aspect to it, i like how it keep sthe reader in teh dark, and it's a big fuck you to all my english teachers thattold me i was a great writer butneeded to elaborate more.

generally spelling grammer, syntax, adding in where i obviously missed words, takling out bits where i repeat myself, replaced reduncdancies(oen of the reasons i dont' use "so and so said" is because it become sextremely redundant in my mind- in the original thud open source project, i used chrachtername: dialogue. this i think is a bit clever and a bit mroe excercise fo rht reader. i don't think it's james joyce taxing either so, it's livable.
also i want to keep teh spontaneity and fluidity of the current form, so no need to work on over all story arc or plot design. i have some ideas where i want to go, and people i want to put in and whatnot, tho suggestions are welcome.

s far as the spelling goes, i want to keep alot of the slang inteact as well. soem fo the grammar goes with that too, but that's probaly the biggest part.

in any case, i haven't actually doen a 2nd person proofreading/editing process ince 7th grade, so you'll have to bear with me(and hte fact that i am making up the story essentially as i write it-not mentioning the obvious.) and i while i like to give you a fairly free riegn in this proces, i prfer if bits  thar euh you know like added or whatever are tagged somehow, or dramatically edited so to say. urgh.

\we can even do it here, or in a seperate thread if you'd like, as i'm sure it will be educational in general, and a useful reference for further "openish source" style projects(that's not th eword i'm looking for but it's closest one i can think of. works make sme mentally exhausted enough to be retardedoed.
Hell is other people.