State of the Revolution Address

[East Coast Hustle]

Editor,Äôs note: when the author uses terms like ,Äúyou people,Äù, he is not literally referring to YOU people.

What is it with you people? Are you just semi-illiterate, or have you made this a conscious decision? Why have you confused being sentient with being sedentary? So you evolved to the point where your brain was so complex it could envision a way to transmit sounds and images to a box in everyone,Äôs living room,Ķand thus the enormous complexity of our collective intellect was used to destroy itself. Just because you CAN sit on your fat ass all day and watch CSI:Miami doesn,Äôt mean you SHOULD. You as a people are being slowly crushed under the weight of the authoritarian thumb that is pressing down on the carotid artery of your freedom, and you won,Äôt even do anything about it. Why? Because you,Äôre also being crushed under the weight of your 3 Double QPC with cheese-a-day habit. The weight of your unshakeable loyalty to Desperate Housewives. YOU should be the desperate housewives, and I,Äôm not talking about being desperate for a piece of ass from the poolboy. Where is your pride? Where is your fire? Is there anything left behind your eyes, or has it all been concentrated at the tip of your index finger for better, more efficient remote-control operation? Look at what you,Äôve lost. You,Äôve long since been incapable of finding and killing your own food, making your own warm clothes, building your own shelter, defending yourself from physical attack, or using your feet to get you where you,Äôre going. Now you,Äôre going to give up the ability to think for yourselves? Are you mad? No. You,Äôre not. And THAT,ÄôS the problem. You got mad when you thought the voting on American Idol was rigged, but the voting in Florida? In Ohio? Pah! That sort of thing hardly affects YOUR life! You are shackled with the chains of slavery, and they enter your house in a 6-foot length of coaxial cable. In a cell phone signal. In a high-speed internet connection. Why should you go outside? You,Äôve got your own little world right here at your fingertips, and there,Äôs no reason to let reality intrude. You just can,Äôt wait until they finally develop teleportation technology. No, not so you can go anywhere you want effortlessly, but so you can have an endless stream of fried chicken and ice cream beamed right to your kitchen. Hell, you won,Äôt even have to get up to go to work now that somebody in Bangalore is doing your job for you. Now you,Äôll have even MORE time to catch up on your favorite shows! I hear they,Äôre showing reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond on Channel 5 on Thursday mornings AND Monday afternoons.

   Meanwhile, back at the ranch, someone somewhere is standing up. Someone is turning off all the devices they can,Äôt live without. Someone is trying to reacquaint themselves with freedom. And someone is having a tough time of it. There,Äôs no one to rally to the cause, no one to take up arms against the oppressors, no one to keep the flickering flame of hope alive against the oppressive un-being that consumes everyone. And besides, who wants to put it all on the line like that for a bunch of fat, greasy, cathode-ray receptors? What is there to be gained? The free are hopelessly outnumbered, and the consumers/consumed will just perceive any sort of paradigm shift as a changing of the channel.

   You see, we were right all along. The revolution will not be televised.

   It already HAS been.

[Bob the Mediocre]

RAH!

Perhaps our only hope is if someone coordinated the destruction of all tv broadcasting equipment across the country.









Nah.
They'd only rebuild it.

[Horab Fibslager]

w0rd.

[Zurtok Khan]

Fuck yes!

[DJRubberducky]

I've heard that taking out the enemy's communication centers is a very effective military strategy.

TV-B-Gones for everybody!

[agent compassion]

TV-B-Gone is a wonderful thing. No destruction needed - just shut the damn thing off.

I spent too long studying media to be able to hate the devices which transmit it, after all, they have no brains or hearts, they're just components, and it's what you do with them that matters. So I hate the programmers instead.

[Bella]

Just because you CAN sit on your fat ass all day and watch CSI:Miami doesn,Äôt mean you SHOULD.

I think I'm going to make a pillow with this slogan on it and give it to my friend to give to her parents.

YOU should be the desperate housewives.

I was. For a very long time.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

RAH!

Perhaps some of us will bounce off those spinning blades!

[Iron Sulfide]

i'd ave to rally somewhat behind AC on this.

i maintain that TV is not a bad thing, merely a medium in it's infancy (which it still is...)

painting didn't start with van gogh or davinci, it started with retards
chipping pics of buffalo onto walls with sharp rocks.

"In the beginning, there was barbarism..."

not that i'm advocating people act like cromagnon or homo erectus,
and use their rocks (remotes) to carve pictures on the wall (TV)...i do
think we're past that at this point (though i could be horribly wrong...)

the difference is to finally realize that it would be an effective tool for
communication (which it hasn't been really, thus far), education, and
daresay art. (not to say NO ONE has tried doing this, but most of the
stuff is "buy buy buy" click "death Murder, Rape, War" click "oh no,
daria, not again...my father will KILL me! [ha ha ha ha, dry dead laughter]"
etc..i'm sure you all kno this/have heard this...i'll rest now.

[Ben]

I love T.V.  I just don't love some of the stuff it horks out.  When T.V. fully merges with the interactivity of the internet, it'll be spiffy as shit.  You could have a billion channels, some of which you can interact with.  Soon, entire computers will be the size of a microchip that you can implant in your brain.  Just think of the possibilities for brainwashing a la "COPS" and "The 700 Club".

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

What is it with you people? Are you just semi-illiterate

God damnit, I wish I could read this.

[Donkeyotay]

BLAH BLHA BAH

BUMP!

[Anonymous]

Editor,Äôs note: when the author uses terms like ,Äúyou people,Äù, he is not literally referring to YOU people.

What is it with you people? Are you just semi-illiterate, or have you made this a conscious decision? Why have you confused being sentient with being sedentary? So you evolved to the point where your brain was so complex it could envision a way to transmit sounds and images to a box in everyone,Äôs living room,Ķand thus the enormous complexity of our collective intellect was used to destroy itself. Just because you CAN sit on your fat ass all day and watch CSI:Miami doesn,Äôt mean you SHOULD. You as a people are being slowly crushed under the weight of the authoritarian thumb that is pressing down on the carotid artery of your freedom, and you won,Äôt even do anything about it. Why? Because you,Äôre also being crushed under the weight of your 3 Double QPC with cheese-a-day habit. The weight of your unshakeable loyalty to Desperate Housewives. YOU should be the desperate housewives, and I,Äôm not talking about being desperate for a piece of ass from the poolboy. Where is your pride? Where is your fire? Is there anything left behind your eyes, or has it all been concentrated at the tip of your index finger for better, more efficient remote-control operation? Look at what you,Äôve lost. You,Äôve long since been incapable of finding and killing your own food, making your own warm clothes, building your own shelter, defending yourself from physical attack, or using your feet to get you where you,Äôre going. Now you,Äôre going to give up the ability to think for yourselves? Are you mad? No. You,Äôre not. And THAT,ÄôS the problem. You got mad when you thought the voting on American Idol was rigged, but the voting in Florida? In Ohio? Pah! That sort of thing hardly affects YOUR life! You are shackled with the chains of slavery, and they enter your house in a 6-foot length of coaxial cable. In a cell phone signal. In a high-speed internet connection. Why should you go outside? You,Äôve got your own little world right here at your fingertips, and there,Äôs no reason to let reality intrude. You just can,Äôt wait until they finally develop teleportation technology. No, not so you can go anywhere you want effortlessly, but so you can have an endless stream of fried chicken and ice cream beamed right to your kitchen. Hell, you won,Äôt even have to get up to go to work now that somebody in Bangalore is doing your job for you. Now you,Äôll have even MORE time to catch up on your favorite shows! I hear they,Äôre showing reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond on Channel 5 on Thursday mornings AND Monday afternoons.

   Meanwhile, back at the ranch, someone somewhere is standing up. Someone is turning off all the devices they can,Äôt live without. Someone is trying to reacquaint themselves with freedom. And someone is having a tough time of it. There,Äôs no one to rally to the cause, no one to take up arms against the oppressors, no one to keep the flickering flame of hope alive against the oppressive un-being that consumes everyone. And besides, who wants to put it all on the line like that for a bunch of fat, greasy, cathode-ray receptors? What is there to be gained? The free are hopelessly outnumbered, and the consumers/consumed will just perceive any sort of paradigm shift as a changing of the channel.

   You see, we were right all along. The revolution will not be televised.

   It already HAS been.

Dude, I take it all back, I am completely humbled.  That was a beautiful piece of writing.

[hooplala]

Editor,Äôs note: when the author uses terms like ,Äúyou people,Äù, he is not literally referring to YOU people.

What is it with you people? Are you just semi-illiterate, or have you made this a conscious decision? Why have you confused being sentient with being sedentary? So you evolved to the point where your brain was so complex it could envision a way to transmit sounds and images to a box in everyone,Äôs living room,Ķand thus the enormous complexity of our collective intellect was used to destroy itself. Just because you CAN sit on your fat ass all day and watch CSI:Miami doesn,Äôt mean you SHOULD. You as a people are being slowly crushed under the weight of the authoritarian thumb that is pressing down on the carotid artery of your freedom, and you won,Äôt even do anything about it. Why? Because you,Äôre also being crushed under the weight of your 3 Double QPC with cheese-a-day habit. The weight of your unshakeable loyalty to Desperate Housewives. YOU should be the desperate housewives, and I,Äôm not talking about being desperate for a piece of ass from the poolboy. Where is your pride? Where is your fire? Is there anything left behind your eyes, or has it all been concentrated at the tip of your index finger for better, more efficient remote-control operation? Look at what you,Äôve lost. You,Äôve long since been incapable of finding and killing your own food, making your own warm clothes, building your own shelter, defending yourself from physical attack, or using your feet to get you where you,Äôre going. Now you,Äôre going to give up the ability to think for yourselves? Are you mad? No. You,Äôre not. And THAT,ÄôS the problem. You got mad when you thought the voting on American Idol was rigged, but the voting in Florida? In Ohio? Pah! That sort of thing hardly affects YOUR life! You are shackled with the chains of slavery, and they enter your house in a 6-foot length of coaxial cable. In a cell phone signal. In a high-speed internet connection. Why should you go outside? You,Äôve got your own little world right here at your fingertips, and there,Äôs no reason to let reality intrude. You just can,Äôt wait until they finally develop teleportation technology. No, not so you can go anywhere you want effortlessly, but so you can have an endless stream of fried chicken and ice cream beamed right to your kitchen. Hell, you won,Äôt even have to get up to go to work now that somebody in Bangalore is doing your job for you. Now you,Äôll have even MORE time to catch up on your favorite shows! I hear they,Äôre showing reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond on Channel 5 on Thursday mornings AND Monday afternoons.

   Meanwhile, back at the ranch, someone somewhere is standing up. Someone is turning off all the devices they can,Äôt live without. Someone is trying to reacquaint themselves with freedom. And someone is having a tough time of it. There,Äôs no one to rally to the cause, no one to take up arms against the oppressors, no one to keep the flickering flame of hope alive against the oppressive un-being that consumes everyone. And besides, who wants to put it all on the line like that for a bunch of fat, greasy, cathode-ray receptors? What is there to be gained? The free are hopelessly outnumbered, and the consumers/consumed will just perceive any sort of paradigm shift as a changing of the channel.

   You see, we were right all along. The revolution will not be televised.

   It already HAS been.

Dude, I take it all back, I am completely humbled.  That was a beautiful piece of writing.

Sorry, that was me above as the guest.  I'm too retarded to log in.

Seriously, Turd, that's good shit, particularly the bit about the voting on American Idol.

[East Coast Hustle]

thank, I was particularly proud of that one.

BTW, who is that guy in your avatar, and can I hire him to be the mascot for my store?