Rant 98: Uh Huh.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 98
Some Definitions and Some Chaoism

Even though the Discordian Society has no definition, there are some of you out there who seem a bit confused by certain terms we casually throw back and forth at each other like insults. The most commonly misunderstood word is still "Discordian." Some of you have actually tried to define it by saying that a "Discordian" is simply one who accepts the random forces of chaos. Some have said that calling oneself "Discordian" has nothing to do with the belief in Eris. (Those are the "Erisians," you say?) Well, just to confuse you further I should point out that worshippers of Eris first started calling themselves Discordian in modern times in the early 1960's. Many use the words "Discordian" and "Erisian" as synonyms. This usage reflects decades of experience by people who have chosen Discordian paths. (It also makes sense, since Eris is also known as Discordia...one word is derived from Greek and the other from Latin: both meaning "follower of Eris.") If you want the chaos without the goddess, we have a word for you: "Chaoist." (Although it is perfectly acceptable to call oneself Discordian and not believe in Eris. Just as it is perfectly acceptable to call oneself a Fenderson without getting fropped. You non-believers in Eris have the freedom to hold to your superstitions as much as anyone else.)

Erisian and Discordian are not exactly the same thing, however. Erisian can be used to describe the Neo-Pagan aspects of the Discordian Society, however when the word was first used it referred to the craziest most chaotic members of the Discordian Society. But then again, sometimes we use the word Discordian in exactly the same way. (To be a Child of Eris not only means you are nutty enough to believe in Eris, but you are also nutty enough to blame reality on Her. Such people should never ever be trusted with one's frop.) Using one or both of these words implies Eris Kallisti Discordia whether you like it or not. Sort of like using the word "Muslim" implies "Islam" and therefore Allah. (Who is great, by the way. But we Erisians know Eris is greater.)

We have deliberately chosen terms that can be defined in several ways for reasons best left unsaid and figured out by each one of you. So there is no need to get into that semantic confusion here.(And not because I have no handle on the damned definitions, I swear.) While Erisians can worship or revere Eris, they don't have to feel the need to engage any part of Thud at all. They are too crazy for that. In fact, the true Erisian position (I'll have you know) is one that goes like this "Society at large in the Region of Thud is just an abyss of hallucinations. Since they do not recognize Our Lady, we do not recognize their frop." The "Discordians" range from reverence of Eris to outright and shameless whore-ship. With the main distinction being that people who prefer the word Discordian tend to be more on the activist side of things. They like fucking with the Region of Thud, for whatever reason. But please understand that there are several exceptions to these definitions, many times within the same person.

Some Erisians think it is their sacred duty to be as Eristic as possible. And "Eristic" can be found in any good dictionary. Many "Discordians" consider themselves "Erisian." Many do not. I hope some of these people at least know what they mean, because nothing serious is meant by these terms any more than the word "fhtagn!"

But now, on to sirius matters, since we are in the Dog Days of Summer, and Sirius the star is very visible in the night sky nowadays. The Chaoist is the "jihadist" of Chaos, but usually one of those occult bastards who learns magical arts for the sake of sneak attacks upon the minds of televised masses of people. And this is true, except for the fact that it isn't and that the word chaoist really refers to people who are like Erisians and Taoists crossed together with bits of post-Hegelian dialectics and Hellenic poetry. (Look at the writings of Peter Carroll for a good example of one definition of a chaoist which has nothing to do with anything I have said above.) Trying to explain what a chaoist is would be like trying to explain the taste of sugar....you can say "sweet," but what the hell does that really mean?

(Parenthetically, I have never seen or heard of anyone calling themselves an Eristic Chaoist since the day back in late 1998 when that one lady who did disappeared in a freaky LSD accident. I suppose Eris has other plans for those truly nutty enough to actually get caught up in these interminable word games.)

Despite silly word games, why do we (the Discordian Society as a whole, and not the ELF, nor the JAMs nor even the goddamned Bobbies nor any other sect or branch) have no definition? Because YOU are the definition, silly. Just as you should read the words penned by the tripsters of the latter 1960's with suspicion, you should also not let yourself get caught up in the whole "The world is fucked up and we are all doomed" line of thinking. That way of thinking is just as dubious and suspect as any other. Trust yourselves. Our Goddess Eris doesn't expect you to trust what She tells you. (And if you do, She may just want to test you or tease you....Or none of the above.) She is not one of those deities that likes to make promises and then comes to harvest your soul at death to take to Her personal fun palace. No. She actually gives you the choice of what to do with your life and your afterlife and your before life. And any other brand of life you have a subscription for.

(I mentioned some of the following in a previous rant, but let me elaborate.)

To say that the world is a cruel and malicious place with no future but a hellish one for all those who can't take power is just as stupid and deficient as the New Age lotus-eater position which posits that all is really sugar sweet and nice white light. Except we have been nearly brainwashed by several decades of European and American philosophers who have made entire careers (and badly written meandering books) into thinking of the "world-is-hell" position as "realism." This is of course what the authoritarians WANT you to feel and believe so as to justify more laws and more impositions of order and power-over. Falling for the proposition of DOOM is just as superstitious as falling for the proposition that everything is heavenly. And we humans often forget that we are the ones who make the world the way it is. (Bad philosophies notwithstanding.) How do I know this? Well, think about it. People who have led functionally happy lives tend to err on the side of thinking that the world is a happy place, or that it can be made to be so. And people who have bad experiences (especially imprinted on their nervous systems as children when they had no choice) will tend to err on the side that the world is a nasty place. The more you seek evidence the more you will confirm your theories. But remember the phrase "Free Will"? We do have a measure of choice and we do have a measure of power, no matter what the crap-screamers and the idiot philosophers will argue. Marx (a notoriously bad writer, but he couldn't help it since he ate all of Engels' moldy frop) was right in one respect: The point is to change the world. Hello? Can I get an a-woman?

July 20th, 2005

-Irreverend Hugh, KSC; Reporting for Duty
(If you have a pulpit, I'll wear it out.)

[Zurtok Khan]

And you think that I should be a saint?  I still don't trust you on that one.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

And you think that I should be a saint?  I still don't trust you on that one.

Of course.

I never said you should trust me on that.

You know better than that.

I am just trying to let you know of some of the benefits of Discordian Sainthood. By all that is unholy, we do have some graft here in this irreligion.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

And you think that I should be a saint?  I still don't trust you on that one.

Don't you know every white male can be a saint, if he's pious enough?

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

And you think that I should be a saint?  I still don't trust you on that one.

Don't you know every white male can be a saint, if he's pious enough?

We take all colors.  This here aint' Christianity.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

It was a pointed jab at a fellow Utahn.  Thbbbbt!

[DJRubberducky]

Can you get an a-woman?

Umm...dunno.  Am I an a-woman, or a b-woman, or...what?

(I am not having your babies, though.  You always overcook them.)

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Can you get an a-woman?

Umm...dunno.  Am I an a-woman, or a b-woman, or...what?

(I am not having your babies, though.  You always overcook them.)

Overcooking does wonders for the flavor. Just ask the French.

[DJRubberducky]

Puh-leeze!  You're going to go to all that trouble of harvesting them at the peak of freshness, and then cook them until the texture equals something you'd get off a full-grown longpig?  What was the point of that?!

(I've actually heard rumour that you will actually get a lesser quality of steak in a restaurant if you order it medium-well or well-done, pretty much for this reason.  Sad thing is, I believe it because if I were a chef, I would probably do it myself.)

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Puh-leeze!  You're going to go to all that trouble of harvesting them at the peak of freshness, and then cook them until the texture equals something you'd get off a full-grown longpig?  What was the point of that?!

(I've actually heard rumour that you will actually get a lesser quality of steak in a restaurant if you order it medium-well or well-done, pretty much for this reason.  Sad thing is, I believe it because if I were a chef, I would probably do it myself.)

All right. We'll do it your way. But next time I am cooking enchiladas.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

That made perfect sense, except for when it didn't

[East Coast Hustle]

0/10.

mostly because it has nothing to do with milking the nipples of the buddha.

[hooplala]

AWOMAN!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Milking the nipples of the Buddha is in rant number 120, to be released sometime soon. After I get rid of all of this toothpaste.

[Freeky]

Baboomp.