Rant 115: Certain...

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 115
Certain Abysses of Hallucinations

"Type A behavior:
A behavior pattern marked by the characteristics of competitiveness, aggressiveness, easily aroused hostility, and an overdeveloped sense of urgency...The risk of accidents, suicide, and murder is higher in type A individuals."
-Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary; edition 20

"Histrionic personality disorder:
A personality disorder marked by excessive emotionalism and attention-seeking. The individual is active, dramatic, prone to exaggerate, and subject to irrational, angry outbursts or tantrums. He or she expresses boredom with normal routines and craves novelty and excitement. Behavior in interpersonal relationships is shallow, vain, demanding, and dependent."
-Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary; edition 20

"Passive-aggressive personality disorder:
A personality disorder marked by indirect resistance to demands for adequate occupational or social performance through procrastination, dawdling, stubbornness, inefficiency, or forgetfulness. The disorder begins in early childhood and may manifest as refusal to complete routine tasks, complaints of being misunderstood or unappreciated, sullen or argumentative attitude, pronounced envy of others, and behavior that alternates between hostile defiance and contrition."
-Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary; edition 20

Many of you have, no doubt, read the above definitional (diagnostic) references and are applying them to various people and or Damned Things you know directly or indirectly and thinking "yeah, that fits them." All sorts of judgments may be going through your head. Or you may be thinking a bit easier now that you know which slots to fit certain people into. (In that case, I am glad to be of service.) However this here rant is not about pigeonholing people. (Even though that can be a fun game. And it's not as if NONE OF YOU/US have ever played that game.)

Think about the sort of world and the sorts of social habits that lead to some individuals manifesting these disorders. Sure, it is correct to say that adults are responsible for their own contributions to their dysfunctions and psychological (whether emotional or cognitive) disorders. But it is also correct to view these disorders as symptoms of people being veterans of a fucked-up world. (Throw in a few more disorders such as paranoias, phobias, and other illnesses and this "fucked-up world" hypothesis seems more valid.) Think about what society, the economy, religion, and cultural habits do to people with their wars, inequality and power issues, prejudices, anxieties, emotional strictures, abuse, and dogmas....you can list a many more problems, I am sure. Many of you who are Discordians will no doubt say that it is because of Eris. But Eris didn't, nor doesn't, do any of this. WE do it collectively. Many of you who are Discordians will no doubt think that we are not a collective psychotherapy institute and are thinking "why the hell should we care?" even if some of these sorry souls have compounded or mixed and matched versions of these disorders? Some of you will no doubt believe that Discordianism, by its nature, attracts people with these disorders. But if you think so, you are forgetting one thing: Play.

And play is the one thing that pisses off most people with the above disorders. Let's face it, we love it when such people who get all wound up in a tight self-focused bundle finally snap, so long as they are far away. But let's not forget about the world that helped stick it to some of these people. Not everyone will suck it up and let it roll off. (Contrary to what some of you have recently suggested.) Just like not every soldier will come back from battle un-scarred mentally or physically. It is okay for Discordians to act like human beings to other human beings every now and then, you know. Inappropriate taste knows no boundaries. I am not suggesting we coddle and nurse such individuals. (Cognitive Restructuring works just fine under skilled practitioners.) I am just asserting that we live in the sort of world that gives rise to such disorders in people. This shouldn't surprise anyone.  

Disorder is important but only in balance with order. Anyone who disagrees may have valid reasons at the time, but they may wish to think about the long term ramifications. Balance provides the ability to leap, spin, and to be assured that one will always "land on one's feet" or make it out all right no matter the pushes and pulls, the ebbs and tides, or the highs and lows of living life. Maintaining (or gaining) one's balance is key to avoiding the habitual reactive traps that cause the above disorders, whether in others or in one's self (or selves, for you Chaoists and Chaosophers). Those who cannot use order to balance disorder or disorder to balance order have become automatons cut off from the basic processes of a fulfilled life. Some questions to think about: Do you seek happiness or are you simply here to prove a point? And if you are living merely to prove a point, what will you do on the day you realize that that point is immaterial? (Or that the point is always shifting? Or even that the point is probably some fiction you or others have created?)

You can take a stance and pretend to hate that part of the Principia Discordia that spells out that balance between disorder and order is essential for healthy chaos as you assume an air of neophilia and "smartness." But that stance shows a remarkable lack of reflection. You can take the view that nothing really matters because you have equated chaos with entropy and disorder, even though if you were honest you would see about as much order as disorder arising. You could go so far as to say that life is a fluke in the universal march toward entropy, but that is still an abstraction you choose to adhere to in the face of overwhelming direct environmental evidence to the contrary. How is it that you are alive and conscious of the fact? Are you still getting caught up in linguistic traps? Are you so bewitched by your own cognitive processes, yet you don't even see the sheer magnitude of complexity that even the simplest of such processes is an expression of? If you think that being jaded is a sign of worldliness it is only because you haven't opened up and lived while fully aware. If belief in things being essentially meaningful is the strongest viral meme of delusion, then belief in things being essentially meaningless is merely the flip side of the same coin.

You can say that nothing really matters, but then why are you still alive and doing things? You can say that no one else really matters to you, but then why even bother tell anyone else? You can say that you hate the disease filled "machine" that is the collective global society and then seek to smash it, but then how are you different from any other politician, so-called social reformer, self-diagnosed revolutionary, religious fundamentalist, terrorist, or sociopath that seeks the same thing? You can say you are here to cause disorder as a balance (or counter pull) to the excessive order you see being imposed around you, but you haven't realized the joke of that position. (And being an agent of disorder doesn't really count if you are aware of being so, remember?) Breaking shit without a purpose is just as dumb as breaking shit with a purpose. And what right do you have to break shit that was not created or bought and paid for by you? You can celebrate your destructiveness and assume that that makes you powerful, but that is the oldest trick of Greyface in human history. You can say that the idea of being creative is full of shit. You can say that the idea that being creative gives one power is full of shit, but that is because you are enthralled to the same old authoritarian delusions that every patriarchy has ever instituted as "reality" or "civilization."

In the end, chaos wins. Every act of destructive disorder (and order) and malicious immaturity you cause will only be taken by another and made into the creation of something new that will subvert further attempts at destructive disorder (and order). You can keep spinning around running to stand still all you want, but don't cry when you find that the world has moved on. You can say that illumination is full of shit, but you must face up to the fact that your opinion is only as valid as any other opinion. And are you saying illumination is full of shit because you hate those things you misunderstand? (As if your understanding of something is a test of its quality or validity. Hah, sucker! Fooled again.)

Disagreement for the sake of disagreement seems to be a properly Erisian or Discordian approach, but don't forget that even this is simply a joke we use, and only at certain times. There are no holy infallible positions, no matter what you think. Pretending otherwise is simply another part of the game. Are you going to keep moving around, asleep at the wheel of your life, or are you going to wake up and own up to your choices? At any rate, don't worry all that much about it. They have mental hospitals, drugs, and behavioral therapies for you, if you get too far out of hand. Or you can go manic and join a religious cult which will give you the attractive illusion of solving all of your problems while compounding them into rock solid walls of habit and belief. Is that what you want?

Never mind. We know what you want, don't we?

August 13th, 2005

-Irreverend Hugh, KSC
(Driving under the influence of Gestalt therapy. Fun for everyone.)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Hmmmm...massive text file spam, or pics?

Decisions, decisions.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

...And now, a paid message...





by
Rev. Bubba Free
IM-HO-PEP INNOCENT I
Michael Peppe
Got a problem? Bring it to the Friendly People. People touching people. People rubbing against people. People developing the nuclear first-strike capability to incinerate people. Sound like a flash in the pan? lt's gotta be: you don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. And you've got needs bigger and more earth-shaking than your grandfather could've dreamed. How do we keep bringing them to you, year after year, bigger and better?



By using the technology of tomorrow on the consumers of today. The Now People. People on the go. Going from Smart Shopper to New Low Value in the time it takes to dial our number. And you know which one that is! Call now won't you? For more of what you've come to expect from us. Style. Mood. A certain dependable kind of image. An image of the way you'd like people to be. Passive. Pretty. White. As white as the complexion of our finest women, grown right here by our special process. As white as the hair of God, white as it was in life! As white as the blank sheet on which we write your mind. Who are we?

  We're the Happy People. Happy to live in a world of images. Images of war. Family. Crime. Fun images, that help rinse away unsightly self-images, so you can get away from the privacy of your own home. After all, aren't you what everything's here for? You're what we're here for. That's why we made everything! That's why everything made you. And that's why you made us. Who are we?



We're the Money People. People who take your money. No more money hassling! But what about little Dickie, you sap What's little Dickie gonna do, when you're working late, and Wilma's minding the fort, and Sis is in and out? Put away those straps and buckles: Dickie's safe with usl (He's even learning to speak again, our way.) Safe with the people who know what it is you want from a world. Simplicity. Reliability. A world you can go to, without worrying about whether your money is safe.





You know, when we first got into this business we didn't know much more than you. Like you, we thought there was a world out there: a world of value. A world that needed meaning. Love. Beauty. A world that needed a better product. Uh-uh. There's just you. And you want to know something. You want to know just exactly what it is you're suppposed to do. You don't care why, just so long as it's the right thing. lt's natural. Everyone wants to do the right thing. But sometimes it's hard to 'know just what the dght thing is. Let's say you're black. And you've just lost your arms and legs defending U.S. interests in Afghanistan. You come home, and get thrown in jail for life for beating up four white cops. You want to know: just exactly what is it l'm supposed to feel?, We can't give you all the answers. But we can help flesh out your fantasy that there are some. At our labs, we use only the finest homemade ingredients. Love. Children. God. And the purest blend of money your needs can buy, grown right here by our special process! A process in use since our first Mom and Pop operation. Who are we?
 


  We're the Normal People. The most normal. people in the world. But not quite as normal as you. Why? You're unique. It's natural: everyone's unique. But you stand apart from the crowd: you're normal. Normal as a typical herd of Sea Cow. Normal as an exploding stellar nebula. Normal as the world in which we live. And what could be more normal than that? Certainly not the competition! How do we stay so far out in front of the pack? By building a racetrack-decoy ideology with the pick-up of a domestic, and the maneuverability of an import! Who are we?  


  We're the Information People. The people who provide you with the information you need, to help you through your busy day. Information about divorce. Inflation. Drug abuse. Information vital to your survival, because information is the most important part of our world. In fact, it's the only part. Information like light. Living things. Information between neurons. Fast-breaking genetic information, information you'd be hard pressed to do without! Information you simply can't get anywhere else, at a vaIue no one can underprice.  


Let's try this little test. Compare. A glass of the, leading competitor's product. Our product. You can see the difference. Now some people would say, "This glass is empty." But other people would say, "This glass hasn't been filled yet, but when it has, I'll like what's in it!" Those are the people we're looking for. The people who look on the bright side. The people who want to like things. And that's what life's all about, isn't it: liking?    


You want to like as many things as you can. You want to have as many things as you can. It's natural. Everyone does. But not everyone feels that way. Some people don't want to like things. The people who aren't good enough to have them! People from unfurnished countries. People who have smudged skin. People who have sex with males. The people who want to ruin everything. They want the things you like, but they're not willing to do the work you need to have done to get them! When they do your work, and they get them. They just use them for their own purposes. But you don't. You don't say "my purposes." You say "our purposes." And who are we?    


  We're the Big People. The people who wear three-piece suits. The people with important eyebrows. The people with sticky voices like this, voices which soothe worried minds in a world in which everyone thinks their own thoughts. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone thought your thoughts? Because let's be honest. Sure you want to be unique. It's natural. Everyone does. But you also want to be right. Until now, that meant a lot of time-consuming prayer and back-breaking contemplation; put away that neocortical washboard: no more working your neurons to the bone! Thanks to us, what was once a reality can become a dream.    


  You see, we're old-fashioned. We want to go back to the old days, the days of white people, before women. The days of owning, and building, and having. Having things clean, and big, and smooth, and fast! Return with us now, won't you? To a world where people did whatever they wanted, and minded their own business. A world where everything had a purpose: yours. The world you meant to make, before the Negative People took over. The people who say no, and bad, and stop, and different, and small. The people who are negatives of you, and you know what color that is! The. people who want to start by tearing down, instead of starting like us, by building up! Who are we?  


We're the Communication People. The people whose talk is strictly state-of-the-art technology. It's disposable. Reversable. Reusable with almost any brand of idea, including our deluxe line. Yours. Sound costly? Put away that semantic checkbook! Now communication can be yours for a fraction of what it cost Grandpa. Why clutter up your world with a lot of hard-to-percieve subtleties? You either like a thing or you don't. And in your case, it's the former. That's why we like you. And that's why we're always looking for quicker; easier ways to tell you so. Slogans. Jingles. Logos. Ways of reaching out and touching you, the way you want to be touched. Slightly. Who are we?    


  We're the Real People. The people who make you real. So real you can almost see yourself! More real than you've ever been before. But then, you've never been at all, before us. In fact, nothing has. And not even very much of that. Not even this sentence. Because when we say disposable, we could mean Just about anything! Who are we?





We're the Other People. The people other than you. People so other we're opposite, yet so people you'd never guess we weren't the real thing! People who are almost you, but couldn't quite make the pre-season cut. People who are a little more than you, because we make the things you know you ought to be making. Things like money. Revolution. Art. Love. Things the Negative People told you were more important than what you're making now. Us. People so other we're even other than each other. So other we're even other than ourselves: you. Because you're one of us. How do we know? Nowadays there's a little more involved than just counting the arms and legs, as Grandpa did in his day! Nowadays we're a little more scientific than that. But the original formula still remains the same: you see them; they make you; you join us.



Still skeptical? Try this simple test. Look at me now. Notice anything? Now you know how we feel. Separate. Gone. Repeated. Like you, only over again. We can't help noticing. In fact, we have an old saying: "Hi." Why do we say it? It's a tradition. Like I said, we're old fashioned. We don't much care why we do the things we do, just so long as they're the right things. Because even though the newer the better, deep down inside you know the new is wrong. It's different, so it could be a mistake. If it wasn't a mistake, then why didn't it happen before? You see, we don't really want to know what we're doing: we want to know what we're supposed to do.    


  That's why you're here. You take all the crazy things we do we can't even explain ourselves, and put a good, solid reason behind each and every one of them! Because you don't really care what happens: you want to know what's supposed to happen. And that's why we're here. Who are we?  


We're you. You don't settle for less. You don't have to. You're you. We're nothing without you. And within you. And someday, you'll be nothing too. Don't you think it's time you said "hi"? Call now. You remember our number! Void where prohibited: everywhere! Hurry while the customer lasts. Supply is limited. In fact, we have an old saying: bye-bye.

 



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brought to the internet for your enjoyment by:
Rev. Noah J. Stewart
Church of the Befuddled Biped

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

[The Good Reverend Roger]

BURN THAT BANDWIDTH, BABY!  BOO YAH!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

[Doktor Howl]

sheer sadism bump.

[Suu]

Do appreciate blast from past. 10/10 will scream again.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Tell me this one isn't trying to re-reg.

[chaotic neutral observer]

Reading that was like walking through a wading pool filled with packing peanuts.

If there was something of substance under all that, I couldn't find it.