Attention, N00bs: You might want to read this.

[unlike_someone]

Dude, you are a complete tool. Just sayin.

Better to be a complete tool then an incomplete one. At least this way you have a use.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

This is true... I guess..

[fluffy]

oh yeah
if you post pictures
the preview button is your friend

use it

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Me? My picyures show up fine.

[fluffy]

Me? My picyures show up fine.

r u a n00b?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

(on different computers = P)

[Tokemaster]

Now, first and foremost, The Good Reverend doesn't want you to think he is giving you orders...but allow me to make a few suggestions, before you run off and post your first threads/rants/etc.

1.  If you plan on posting an exciting thread showing your best Kerry Thornley/Ivan Stang imitation, please think carefully before doing so...many of us have been here for years, and we've already read the Principia/Book of the Subgenius/Revelation X, and everything by Robert Anton Wilson...and, unless you have something original to add to those, you're probably wasting your time.

2.  Likewise, referencing your pituitary gland, foot gland, or starting an Esperanto thread is very likely to result in your being fed to Fluffy.  And you don't want that, do you?

3.  "The rule of 5" and long threads discussing the mystical signifigance of the number 23 are perfectly legal...but don't cry when you get laughed at or ignored.  Again, those are only funny/interesting the first 300 or so times you hear them.

4.  Some posters (who shall remain nameless) will give you a hard time when you first start posting.  Those posters (who shall remain nameless) will call you a "sucker", tell you to "fuck off", and rip your masterpiece thread (about the number 23) to shreds.  There's absolutely nothing you can do to dissuade them (again, no names), and nobody can hear you scream.  Welcome to discordianism.

5.  For the love of Sweet Baby Jebus, DO NOT use the terms "real discordians", "true discordians", etc.  The Good Reverend doesn't care what happens to YOU, but he's sick of washing blood off the walls.

6.  We really aren't impressed that you can post gibberish, in an attempt to sound "discordian".  Nor are we awed by claims of superpowers (except when Agent Compassion makes them), descent from Elder Gawds(tm), or claims of being Malaclypse (any of them).  In fact, odds are that you'll be bound and gagged, and left at 14th and Minna...a fate best left undescribed.  And - just so you know - the last guy who decided to rip off Joshua Norton's act got banished here:  http://principiadiscordia.org , where he can make all the proclamations he likes...to himself.

7.  Nobody will mod you for threadjacking...but good luck starting any threads of your own, Slappy.

8.  Spamming the latest funny thing you found on more than two (2) threads can have adverse effects, including (but not limited to):  being the recipient of universal mockery, having NOBODY look at your shit (out of sheer spite), and/or being forced to read Great Teacher Largo's old rants until your eyes bleed.

9.  Feel free to experiment with the board and all its HTML-y goodness, but be advised that multi-colored text is very hard to read, and most people won't make the effort.

10.  Pr0n bombing will probably get you modded, as will anything that can ge the admin/mods in real, actual trouble (copyright violations, etc).  If this happens, your fate is up to the powers that be, and we don't want to hear any whimpering about it.  Try not to bleed on us, m'kay?

SPECIAL BONUS SUGGESTION #11:  We've been trolled by the best.  In fact, some of us ARE the best.  So don't give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome trying to impress us...and multiple monikers don't really help.  Everyone ALWAYS finds out who you are...and, again, it's been done a million times.  

Lastly, be yourself, be original, don't feel the need to "wow" us on your first day, and have fun...

...SUCKER.

Yeah... i only got one word for you, and thats is KISSFLARP! I haven read anything, and thats inlcude your post... i don't even know why Im writing this... well KISSFLAP on you!

[Acoge]

A) The OP fucking rules
B) I like Crowley but detest all of his followers, kind of like Jesus
3) I second whoever said that http://23ae.com is the place to experiment with novice Discordianism. This is advanced Discordianism, because everyone on here is jaded from talking to other Discordians and realizing they're assholes.

Well I had to talk to few more people then just discordians to figure out that I was an asshole but after I met a few discordians and they told me I was an asshole I was all like yeah I must be an asshole because not only do people call me an asshole but these assholes think I'm an asshole... It was kind of like when someone becomes a singer because a singer says they have a good voice....

[The Good Reverend Roger]

From the This Is The Kind Of Shit We Have To Put Up With Department:

Yeah... i only got one word for you, and thats is KISSFLARP! I haven read anything, and thats inlcude your post... i don't even know why Im writing this... well KISSFLAP on you!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

it is true

the only conspiracy is ignorance



situation normal IS all fucked up


take it personal

take it very very personal

Hehehe...no, there are LOTS of conspiracies, and the BIG Conspiracy(tm) isn't about ignorance, so much as it is about stupidity.  Notice the subtle difference?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

I don't know if the difference between ignorance and stupidity is all that subtle when you stop to look at it...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't know if the difference between ignorance and stupidity is all that subtle when you stop to look at it...

Ignorance can be cured.

Stupidity is FOREVER.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

[Malaclypse the Tertiary]

Poor, poor Rev. Rodger

He has to put up with sillyness on his precious bile-board.

[Horab Fibslager]

have you stopped eating dick yet?