Rant on Platitudes.

[B_M_W]

i said nothing. i couldn't say anything. couldn't bring myself to it. and befor elong i coudln't say anything at all. to her, to anyone. it's not the only reason why, but it certainly contributed.

You had a period of silence? That intrigues me...

[The Doctor]

There need to be anti-platitudes.

Then again, just saying something and meaning it might do that job well enough.

Gnimbley's right, you can't logic this away. I could say nothing(and no one) in the universe is truly destroyed, it just changes form, but that means nothing if they've gone somewhere you can't see them anymore.

People just say those things to make themselves feel better about it, because deep down we are all afraid of the last big sleep. So. I don't know.

It takes as long as it takes. I am amazed at how much people expect each other to be like springs bouncing back instantly from the most awful experiences. "Get over it." Sure, that is the kind of thing someone says when they've never gone through that yet. Honor her, do what you have to do.

[DJRubberducky]

Yes, I know. In time my pain will lessen.

BUT THAT DOESN"T DO ME A FUCKING BIT OF GOOD RIGHT NOW YOU
SHIT!

I'll respectfully submit that some folks do need the reminder.  It's not hard to find stories of people who killed themselves after significant others died.  And if nothing else, if the platitudes piss you off, then you're focusing on me rather than on yourself.

I think another source of platitudes is having to face the fact that there are some things we're truly and utterly powerless against.  We have conquered so many other things, it's hard to fathom that there's still something else out there that will inevitably kick our asses when the time is right.  So we have to come up with something to do or say to help feel like we're in control of the situation - neener neener, Death, I wanted you to take me all along!

Relatedly, there are some folks who are of the mindset that when something is wrong with someone they care about, they have to do something to fix it and make the person happy again, because that's what love is - when someone's happiness is essential to your own.  (Yes, I understand there's a basic flaw in that belief, but it took me thirty years to come to that understanding, and I'm still not all the way there.)  For people like that, silence is not an acceptable option because that might be confused with doing nothing, which in turn might be confused with not caring, and that's absolutely unacceptable.  I have never felt more powerless than when someone has mentioned the loss of a family member and someone else has beaten me to hugging the person.

Just tryin' to stir up a little sympathy for the proverbial devil here.

[Horab Fibslager]

i said nothing. i couldn't say anything. couldn't bring myself to it. and befor elong i coudln't say anything at all. to her, to anyone. it's not the only reason why, but it certainly contributed.

You had a period of silence? That intrigues me...

not so much. just hardcore reticence.

it sucked.

[agent compassion]

Yeah. People don't understand sometimes you just don't WANT to talk about it.

[AFK]

So, here I am in Washburn, Maine which for those of you not in the know is 300 miles north of my current homebase in Portland, Maine.  Calling hours were tonight.  Half the town showed up which was nice.  I come from a huge family.  You can't live in Washburn and not know the Carmen Clan.  It was nice and they made my grandmother look really nice.  Though, I couldn't help but think seeing her that even in death she still looked like she was suffering.  Very mixed emotions I had.  Sad that she is gone.  And hot anger for the doctor who screwed her over.  But alas she cannot be suffering any longer and I suppose that is the sole solace to take away.

[East Coast Hustle]

come back down Route 1 on your way back and turn down 175. follow 175 until it goes off to the left, keep going straight on 166. stop at Zeke's Pizzeria and make yourself known and I'll buy you lunch.

[AFK]

come back down Route 1 on your way back and turn down 175. follow 175 until it goes off to the left, keep going straight on 166. stop at Zeke's Pizzeria and make yourself known and I'll buy you lunch.

Thanks for the invite but I had to get back right away.  Next time the family and I head to Acadia to go camping we'll be sure to drop in for lunch.