Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[Enrico Salazar]

You gave me the syphillis, Diabo, why shouldn't you recount it in detail?

(rimshot)

Thank you, thank you.  That's little Mo Tucker on the drums there, folks.

And Diabo, Enrico is so saddened, that 'paralyzed from neck up' comment bordered on the genuinely amusing.  If you do not have your complete lack of humor, what will you have?

What is Enrico asking?  Of course you will still have your unimaginable body-odor.  Peoples at home be glad you aren't sitting next to her.

Can you smell her from down there at the end of the couch, LMNO?

[LMNO]

::has disappeared::

[Enrico Salazar]

See what your stench did?  Now LMNO has dissapeared.

Trainwreck.

Anyway, that was Diabo Salazore talking about her book Ben-Wa Balls something or other.  Let's hope it will rake in millions of dollars and Diabo can afford to have one of those new face transplants.  There will still be the problem of the rest of her body, but one step at a time.

Who is next?

(consults blue note cards)

Our next guest is - you OK Shecky?  You look off-color.  Moreso than usual.

(rimshot)

No, Mo, Enrico is serious.  Shecky has stopped breathing.

Anyway.

We will return after a short message from our sponsors.

[Verthaine]

Hi. I'm Vincent S. Verthaine  

Have you or someone you know been hit by a Trans-Dimensional Hyper-warp CargoShip?

Well then,call me,Vincent S. Verthaine,and I'll take them to Trans-dimensional Court,and they won't be so big.

I promise to get you the settlement YOU DESERVE.

But don't just take my word for it,let hear what some of my many satisfied customers have to say.

Grimbor of Ghjtraz 3-

"There I was,just cruising along in my space car,when I was smashed head-on by a Trans-Dimensional Hyper-warp CargoShip and turned into fine space dust. Well,I called Vincent S. Verthaine and Associates and they got me an 100,000 kallisti settlement.

Thank Vincent S. Verthaine,your'e the best!!!

Or how about  this one.

Lorthrin the Untamable-

Onvujjytkj thhwemdc khgkmytndenne,tjhjhykum jhthnhn.
Yuikirdrehnnsj thjj tjjytjd,Vincent S. Verthaine and Associates  mgfnhgkjiks mnvntgfujsmn e4kgfk 320b207 kallisti fjmmm.
LLLnntrkj Vincent S. Verthaine, Ffjjndfmndsfkjjwemndsm djhfujr mnj akbijorm fjhgggg wem !!!

Now I can't promise you that I can get you the Big Kals,but I promise that I and my dedicated staff of trained monkeys will do everything in our power to get you the settlement YOU DESERVE!!! minus our 70% fee ,of course

Remember ,if you just became a space smear, call me ,Vincent S. Verthaine, at 78490699-437658845-7000006 ext 5.

[Diabo Salazore]

Rancid House Publishers Invite All Viewers of the Enrico Salazar Show to
Purchase Our Newest Title:

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

<stabs the android.>

<steals his horn.>

<disappears.>

[Enrico Salazar]

And, Enrico is back.

Shecky, how you feeling now?

(Shecky's body does not move)

Ehhhh.  This may not be good.

On a brighter note Enrico's next guest is a future presidential candidate and the smartest motherfucker he knows personally, sometimes known as Fred, good friend Noodle!

Come on out Noodle!

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

...hello..or somethngs
um....yeah
>_>

[Enrico Salazar]

Fred, your hair is looking fantastic.  Have you been working out?  Where do you buy your clothes?

Ehhh.

(consults blue note card)

Ehh, you look younger and younger.

Fred, tell Enrico's viewers what would make you good presidente for American peoples.  Better than orangutan.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

Thanks Enrico. you also look great, espcially since you were supposed to be dead. o_O

I would  make a good president because i fucking say so! sure, every presidential candidate says that...but...um...im cooler! YEAH
also, i would be WAY BETTER then an orangutan because i shave more often. stupid hairy fuckers. and i dont smell bad.
I BATHE VOTE FOR ME
see?

[Enrico Salazar]

Yes yes.  Is good.

And death thing was part of insurance scam . . . in case of fire Enrico's son got shitloads of money . . . now Enrico is back and Little Tono is nowhere to be seen.

Enrico is sure he will turn up.  If the metal detectors are set for body hair.

(rimshot)

Anyway.  Fred.  Anything else you would like to say?

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

yes. come the revolution, I WILL FILL YOUR PANTIES WITH OLD GRANDMAS AND THEIR MEAT LOAF! TAKE THAT BITCH!!!!  

also. please support the eat the whale campaign.
ITS THE PATRIOTIC THING TO DO

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico cannot wait until his panties are filled with grandmothers.  It will be so much easier than chasing after them all the time.

Thank you Fred for being guest on show.  Can you stick around on couch, or do you have plane to catch?

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

thanks for having me, enrico!
i'll hang here. couch looks nice

[One-Eyed Thayne Magee]

hey d. honey. turn the tv up! that noodel chick is on enrico's show.