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Even Jesus had a sense of humor

Started by Zurtok Khan, April 24, 2006, 11:33:44 PM

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Zurtok Khan

April 24, 2006, 11:33:44 PM
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-Albert Einstein


I was reading Joseph Cambell's "The Power of Myth" last night, and in answer to one of the questions his interveiwer is asking he relates the story of the 3 temptations of Jesus while he was fasting.

Jesus goes out to fast for 40 days.  So, Satan comes and is all up in his face, "Yo, motherfucker, if you're hungry you can make these rocks into bread."  Jesus declines.

So, Satan tries again, "Look at all these people here, they could ALL be your bitches if you wanted them to be."  Again, Jesus declines.

In one last attempt Satan says, "Alright, dude, if you're so holy you don't need any of this shat, why don't we go to the top of the Temple and you can throw yourself off to allow God to save you, just to show how holy you are."

The way I picture it Jesus put a little smile on his face and says, "You should not tempt the Lord, your God."

I've read this before in the Bible, but it never struck me as so funny, or as Ironic.

Here's Jesus saying, look, God is happy to help you help yourself, but if you're a dumbass, he is going to laugh at you, just like the rest of us.

I guess this just proves that Eris had her hand in the Bible too.

After all, if you tie the noose and put your head in, you deserve to be hung.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#1
April 25, 2006, 04:05:48 AM
Back again are we Mr. White Supremacy?

Kill yourself anyone belonging to the evil mud-races lately?

B_M_W

#2
April 25, 2006, 04:08:26 AM
Quote from: Machine Grind DreamBack again are we Mr. White Supremacy?

Kill yourself anyone belonging to the evil mud-races lately?


:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

I didn't post because I KNEW you were going to do this, and I wanted to see it first.  8)
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#3
April 25, 2006, 04:10:47 AM
I am on my best behavior.

If I'd done what I really wanted to do clicking on this post would've probably crashed your browser.

B_M_W

#4
April 25, 2006, 04:17:44 AM
Quote from: Machine Grind DreamI am on my best behavior.

If I'd done what I really wanted to do clicking on this post would've probably crashed your browser.

:lol:

...do it do it do it....
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Cain

#5
April 25, 2006, 04:22:08 AM
Do it.  IT IS YOUR DESTINY!

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#6
April 25, 2006, 04:47:53 AM
I MUST... RESIST... THE MONSTER.... INSIDE!!1`

Zurtok Khan

#7
April 25, 2006, 04:58:23 AM
I've decided I'm not a White Supremisist, I'm a Jewish Supremisist with a Zionist complex.

The whole world is my Zion, fucker, get the hell off.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#8
April 25, 2006, 05:21:34 AM
Stop mocking the Hebrew people you fucking prick!

Zurtok Khan

#9
April 25, 2006, 09:14:03 AM
Quote from: Machine Grind DreamStop mocking the Hebrew people you fucking prick!

Pfft.  I'm one of the Hebrew people.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Cain

#10
April 25, 2006, 10:32:49 AM
According to the UN, Zionism is a form of racism.

Scribbly

#11
April 25, 2006, 03:25:52 PM
Well... really... all I can say is



See? I can be an asshole too  :lol:
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

B_M_W

#12
April 25, 2006, 03:34:14 PM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanI've decided I'm not a White Supremisist, I'm a Jewish Supremisist with a Zionist complex.

The whole world is my Zion, fucker, get the hell off.


No, YUO get the hell off.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Wolfpoet

#13
April 25, 2006, 03:59:25 PM
Zionist supremecy went out of fashion after the ten commandments!

Go British Imperialist supremacy!
It's not so much that we fear the Wolf that howls outside, we fear the Wolf that howls within our soul.

Paladin, Iman, Rabbi and Fa Shih of the Erisian revival.

There are 3 sides to any conflict, winners, losers and arms dealers. Eris does a damn good deal at competitive prices.

Scribbly

#14
April 25, 2006, 04:02:23 PM
Tally ho old chum, got to go and give those yanks a jolly good rollicking, what what?
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.
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