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Funniest webcomic I've read for  . . . . . well, ever really.  Been pimping the tits out of it all week now.

Badbeast - Lay your hands on the bloodlines run ASAP. It's right up your proverbial. 

Downloading them as I type this. 

I've had a soft spot for Crossed since the first Ennis run and the "Salt!" scene.

Oh, the"Salt scene". It's writing like this that makes me love Garth Ennis so much.

 

The dolphin thing was real funny, then I'm intrigued to know what the Cross(Ed) represents.  Kind of wanted to breeze through some stuff and probably would prefer hardcopy to slow refresh-rates

WYWH is all taken from the perspective of Shaky's diary. The Crossed are humanity, after some time released engineered plague got loose from a Lab. Garth Ennis's arc "Bloodlines" covers it, (although I haven't read it yet) WYWH has been released as 3 TPBs. They're all up on Pirate Bay for free if you wanted to download them. Seeing as they were all a free webcomic anyway, there shouldn't be too much of a conscience twinge. 

I pretty much knew he was a wrongcock when I was ten years old, and Jim'll fix it was on every Saturday teatime. It used to make me cringe to see him with some poor little dying kid sitting on his lap.

And Cliff Richard always made my shit itch too, tbh.

Here's the link for "Wish you were Here" far and away the best written Crossed arc, (Save for Garth Ennis's bit at the launch of "Badlands") Enjoy.
http://www.crossedcomic.com/category/chapters/

"Crossed WYWH" finished this week, and while The Crossed don't fit all the parameters of the Zombie trope,
the best story arcs of the franchise concentrate on the survivors, who very much DO fit. In this respect, writers Si Spurrier, and (franchise owner) Garth Ennis have written the only arcs that I'd really recommend to anyone. David Lapham has his moments, but he doesn't seem to rise above the rape / gore aspect of Crossed, which probably sells more comics, but doesn't really explore any new ground.

I've always thought the most interesting aspect of any horror story is the way ordinary people react to the extreme situations presented. While all the best stories of whatever genre seem to have redemption as their theme, good horror also examines how easily previously "good" people succumb to the most unspeakable acts of evil.

Frankenstein exemplifies and defines the "Monster" trope perfectly. It's not Frankenstein's monster that descends into evil or morally ambiguous behavior, it's  Dr Frankenstein himself, and the people around him that are the real monsters. 

I loved this.

Just the right amount of truth, satire, pinealism, and mindfuck, to truly stand out as a very excellent, entertaining, well written piece about... well, nothing really.

Bravo!

Thanks, yeah, sometimes the mix is a bit muddy, other times, it's too clearly up itself, and sometimes it's just about right. Those are times the subject seems to be the least important part of the whole thing. I so nearly carried on with a bit about Werewolves, but who the hell has the time to take Werewolves seriously?

                                   When you hear them calling out in the Streets,
"Hide yo Dolphins, hide yo chillun, hide yo clean-faced humans, dey's comin' an they's a rapin'!"
                                          You'd better start running for the hills.

Another "Crossed" fan?

OP was awesome.   

Thanks Roger, glad you liked it.

I predict vampires are making a comeback.

Well, I really hope so, Vampires have always had a pathos factor that's missing in all other "undead" genres (except perhaps Frankenstien) and I think this definitely makes for better entertainment, especially when it's done well. The Zombie thing has been missing an important element, since  (the otherwise wholly watchable) Resident Evil, and that's the tongue in cheek humour that made Romero's Dawn of the Dead such a cult watch. 

There were rules back then. The shuffling, aimless gait, with arms outstretched, "The Zombies are coming, walk a bit faster" kinda thing. The choice of weapon, either something that lops off the head in one stroke, or if firearms are available, a sawn off shot gun. And someone always has to make the mistake of setting one of them on fire, so they can stumble around and set everything on fire.

Saying that, I enjoyed The Walking Dead immensely, but it did get a bit predictable. (I still haven't seen the last season) and some of the "Crossed" story arcs really hit the spot. Especially the one about the writers weekend course, with that Gideon bloke, mostly because the main character was so obviously based on a coked up, out of control Grant Morrison. 

Even though, strictly speaking, The Crossed aren't Zombies, the best bits of the stories are when the remnants of humanity act in just as shocking and ruthless ways as the Crossed. Only The Crossed do it without the whiny self recrimination that the surviving humans do.

Terry Pratchett has also been quietly adding depth and humour to the Vampire, Zombie, and (to a lesser extent) Werewolf tropes. And he never loses sight of the (I think) most important fact, that however evil or ruthlessly driven by bloodlust these undead bastards are, it's always humans who are the biggest fucking monsters of all, something that we should always remember, no matter how immersed in a fictional genre we get.
 

The Death of Vampires (as a pre-cursor to the Age of the NWO Zombie Apocalypse, and the eventual refinement of the Human genome)

The cultural transition from Vampires to Zombies is an interesting paradigm shift. Considering the Vampire trope has been pretty much present ever since Bram Stoker wrote Dracula is testament to it's durability as a myth, and it's ability to successfully transform itself according to popular culture's fickle tastes, has given the Vampire a rich and varied canon for writers to draw upon.

From "Nosferatu", to "Buffy",  from "Interview with a Vampire" to "Blade" Vampires have shared an ancient, pre Stoker commonality of rules, but not one so rigid that they couldn't adapt to a more modern World.
In Buffy, Angelus set a groundbreaking precedent, when his Soul was restored to him. Suddenly we had a "good" Vampire, one who was capable of giving and receiving human love, of (more or less) successfully adopting a kind of Methadone recovery program, where The Thirst is managed with regular doses of Pig's blood.  His atonement pretty much follows the AA 12 Step Program, with "The Powers that Be" being his "Higher Power",  The Thirst, being perfectly analogous with Alcoholism.

Buffy is his sponsor, her crew, are his meetings or support group, and his capacity to seek redemption for his past savagery, was returned by default with his soul. Angel is a true Apostate, he turns against his own kind and allies himself with the Slayer, the traditional Nemesis of his kind.

While this added an interesting dynamic to the theme, it also marked the beginning of the Vampire's descent from it's Zenith of undead cultural supremacy. All it took was for one major player (Angel) to turn traitor to his Vampire bredrin to effect this shift.

As a direct result of the Buffy / Angel dynamic, we became introduced to the Dynastic elitism that represented the Old School "Blade" type of Vampires . Despite the Quasi- Imperialistic conservatism  of their Ancient Clans and Houses, the rot set in. Complacent in their supercilious elitism, they're already doomed.

Angel's Vampirism, and his alliance with the Slayer's cause, was a symptom of his Soul's restoration. He was most certainly still a Vampire, (albeit one with a Soul) with all the same Vampire powers, strengths and heightened senses that he'd always had, and his inner conflict of Good Angel / Evil Angelus was explored thoroughly with the spin-off series. And Charisma Carpenter as Angel's Jiminy Cricket style conscience added a fap-worthy sexual frission, that Buffy's shallow, blonde, "psycho killer with a heart" could never quite manage.  This point is iterated over and over by just about every other female in the whole Buffy franchise being way hotter than Michelle Geller. Willow, Hope, Cordelia, Faith, Drusilla, Tara, Kendra . . . .sorry Buffers, but you're the ugly duckling. 

Getting back on topic, we saw Angel's spiritual healing, via his service to "The Powers That Be" and his Soul's growth away from the self centred psychopathy of his Vampire past and his subsequent rediscovery of altruism and conscience. But the nut cruncher was that he was still a Vampire. His polarity shift was a spiritual one, and driven by his Soul's restoration.  Angel betrayed every Vampire precedent for an inexplicable, touching, and occasionally hilarious Buffy-love.

Next nail in the trope's coffin was Blade. With him, we got a very different kind of Beast. Blade gave us a new Vampire type, the Daywalker. A mutated  Vampire "AntiChrist" who fulfilled some old Vampire eschaton prophecy, and who had evolved away from the Ancient Vampire traditional Nightbreed, and mutated into a hybridised Human / Vampire genotype, andf he could pass this genetic shift along to other Vampires, via a serum that allowed The Thirst to be managable.  More importantly, he had immunity to something that had been anathema to every Vampire in history, also something that every other Vampire secretly coveted. He could go out in Sunlight without getting burnt to a painful and permanent Death.

He also wasn't affected by crucifixes, Holy Water or any of the old bugbears that previously afflicted Vampires. Stronger than either Humans or Vampires, feared and rejected by both, his anti-Vampiric activity wasn't spiritually driven ilke Angel's was. Blade was fuelled by his own self-loathing, which manifested as a hatred of Vampires. He still had the pathological Vampire mindset. He still revelled in killing and death, but he had the biological needs of a new, mutated mix. Vampire and Human. A new species, with a clear, unambiguous inner conflict playing it's diametrically oppositional genetic imperatives off against each other

Angel didn't kill other Vampires because he hated them, he did it because of his growing morality, and idealism. He still empathised with his Vampire victims, but he traded off the bloodlust for the Panacea of being able to play "Hide the sausage" with Buffy. Then the idiot fell in love with the meat.  Things got . . . messy. A moonstruck, loved up Vampire, infected with ethical conflict is no good for anyone. His heart, broken by Buffy's fickle need for badboy sex with Spike, (Angel's 13th step Vampire project)  he took his hurty tender Vampire feelz, and left the Hellmouth of Sunnydale, and took his Bwaaah to (where else?) LA.

The "Wolfram and Hart" Law Firm explored in the spin-off series, "Angel" wasn't really much of a deviation from previous canon, but the Clans and Houses of Blade were.

They were modeled on Corporate Structure, and this factor, along with the War of attrition waged by Blade, brought more of the old ways crashing down. The Blade Vampires had unwittingly become infected by the human socio/ psychopathic mindset of Corporate entity.
Corporate Vampires are driven by an exponentially increasing need for money. So economics becomes their primary dynamic, The Thirst expands to include the need for an economic Power structure. This suggests the rot had already set in before Blade began decimating their Clans with his pseudo-shaolin kung-fu training, his Bladed weapon fetish, and his James Bond / Luthercorp spiritual and tech guru support team. 

The fact that Blade was also Black supports another aspect of humanity has crept in and infected the Clans. Racism. After all, you can say what you like about the traditional Vampire roles as shapeshifting Batwinged creatures of the night, Satanic blood drinkers. At best, amoral. At worst, Castle Wolfenstein style Nazi Stormtroopers of Death. Pathologically self centered, yes. Thirst driven evil frenzied gore addicts, totally.
But until Blade, there was no precedent for distinguishing between human ethnicities. But when the Blade Vampire Clan Chiefs say "Daywalker", they might as well be saying "Nigger", because Blade as "Daywalker" represents a new, divergent ethnicity of Vampire, and their hatred of Blade and his Cabal, is fueled by their fear of  "his kind" coming over and taking all their jobs, and walking around in daylight without burning up, mixing the pure ancient Vampire elitism with the unter-menschen  livestock.

Then it all descends into the corrupted, sanitised and impotent "Sparkle in the Sunlight" titwank of Twilight. And I'm not even going to examine that any further, save to say that it's proof that the much loved Vampire trope is dead. All that's left is the twitching undead corpse of Edward Cullen, trying to pass his cold, lifeless seed into Bella's (Humanity's) genetically unviable uterus, and everyone is focused on the CGI False Flag enemy of the Lycans. Pffft!

Too late, Vampire Bitches! You took your eye off the ball, and now you have to pay the inevitable price of failure. Prepare yourselves for the New World Order. The Plague of the Zomby Apocalypse will ensure that none but the strongest and most adaptable of the Homo genome survives.

Homo Sanguinus and Homo Lupus will become obsolete, and die out like Neanderthal Man. Blade in this aspect,  becomes the Luciferic Messiah, the Herald of the New Dawn taking the Light to the Dark places of the Old Ones. Blade ensures the Homo Sapien type aligns itself with the hybrid vigour of his own "Sapio-Sanguinus" genome.

Only an alliance of this type can prevail against the genetically engineered "Crossed"  super-infection of sadistically priapic rape-zombies. Devoid of morality, conscience, and impulse control, these Plus-faced fucks will rape, ravage and decimate humanity's weakest, until their built in lack of self preservation, and propensity towards bi-polar boredom sees them die of exposure, starvation,   
or disease. And out of this ruined World's rubble and bones, from their refuges, bunkers, and fortified hiding places, steps the New Flesh.

                                   When you hear them calling out in the Streets,
"Hide yo Dolphins, hide yo chillun, hide yo clean-faced humans, dey's comin' an they's a rapin'!"
                                          You'd better start running for the hills.

Justice lives not here
Verdicts bled from Juries? 
Judge me not, Judy.


NT. The death of Bono

Somalia is a perfect example of the clusterfuck of warring factions that result when a Aid dependent Foreign Nation won't stick to a UN Aid concessionary agreement. The Habr Ghidr should have just been given the distribution contract, then they would have probably become the Ruling regime, and Somalia wouldn't have to rely on hi-jacking oil tankers today.

I like how people keep talking about Somalia as if it exists as any meaningful concept. Neither country or culturally cohesive region is applicable.
The most honest thing you could do is put a 'Here be Dragons Wild Humans'  sign on the map.

Don't need to tell me. I spent months as a sniper, crawling across the rooftops of Mogadishu. Hella game, Black Hawk Down.

Wasn't his brother something in the reich? Ended up in Spandau Prison until he died?. . . . Hesse, that's the guy..... 

Somalia is a perfect example of the clusterfuck of warring factions that result when a Aid dependent Foreign Nation won't stick to a UN Aid concessionary agreement. The Habr Ghidr should have just been given the distribution contract, then they would have probably become the Ruling regime, and Somalia wouldn't have to rely on hi-jacking oil tankers today.

[not]

Yeah, I'll choose to not read the lunatic ravings of a convicted armed robber and white supremacist, thanks.

Hah! That's what they all say, then it's a little peep between the fingers, and before you know it, the rabbit hole you thought you were peeking into becomes a black hole, an irresistible vortex of plausible supposition that sucks you in, and shows you the REAL truth of what makes the World go round!   

I don't blame you for your reluctance to pick through this document and sift the more credible rantings from the Christian Cultbuster Worldview this missive obviously is. But whatever skewed perspective the author's personal, religious, or socio / political angle  was birthed from, their  sources and citations are, for the most part credibly supportive, if not evidential, and supremely worth an examination, if only on the strength of the lulz generated by how far "out there" a well crafted conspiracy model can take you.

The main artery much of this conspiracy hangs on is the well accepted and citable fact that Josef Mengeles was the visionary and architect behind the CIA's widely documented MKUltra program. The implications of, and potential for abuse , even for an unimaginative, steadfast conservative such as myself, are frighteningly self evident.   

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there's any more credence in this conspiracy theory than there is in any other, but surely the only Discordian response to a scenario such as Springmeier & Wheeler present, is to grin with that "Oh yeah? Come at me bro" grin, before flinging oneself headfirst into this . . .this . . . . this clusterfuck of pathological Gotterdammerung / Armageddon /  would be Gospel of the endtimes, with the same gusto a starving 500lb chubby on a pimped out Rascal has for a "Happy meal" on a stick. After all, what's the worst that can happen? 

I've just finished "Skinner" by Neal Asher. (re-read) Man, this is what "Science fiction" is really about. I've always been a bit . . . . . yanno, reluctant (?) to invest my time in "Science fiction", purely because so many people have got away with the most abominable shite under the genre, "Science/speculative fiction"  but this transcends genre in the way that all good fiction does. It's quite a beefy read, but once you get a couple of chapters in, it's effortless, flowing, and easy to digest. And on the re-read, there's a whole other subtext that makes it almost like a completely different book. Asher really knows how to lay a subtext, in the manner of Gene Wolfe (but not so stodgy) and the underlying dynamic (as in all good fiction) is redemption. The thing that makes it stand out from other good fiction is the fact that the redemption in question, is worked into a peripheral character, rather than the main protagonist. It also just opens a whole new set of different questions to each of the main characters.

There are a couple of sequels to this book, but I haven't read them yet. I'm almost reluctant to read them, because I've been too let down (I know, *sobs) by other good first novels, that rapidly descend into a pile of titwank, so if any of you have read the sequels, please let me know whether it's worth risking another shoplifting charge at W.H.Smiths .     

I think an argument can be made in some cases for Satanic-related child abuse (I'm just as sceptical of those who claim Satanic child abuse has never occured as I am of those who claim to see Satan's hand in every evil act), but I struggle with the organised aspect, given Satanism itself is not exactly a strongly organised religion and its most public and organised fronts (CoS, Temple of Set) do not strike me as hotbeds of rampant pedophilia.  Hotbeds of juvenile philosophy and rampant egomania, sure, but not so much the other stuff.

Sexual abuse of a child is more powerful when it is put into the context of demonic magic. The abuser's semen is magic and seals the programming. The ritual aspect of it, and the repetitive nature of the abuse creates several dynamics that accompany the abuse that wouldn't occur in non-ritual abuse. The lie that accompanies such abuse is that this institutionalized abuse is an obligation for both the abuser and the victim. For instance, the mind-control of the Beast Barracks experience at West Point, USMA is an institutionalized abuse that allows the abuser to side step responsibility for sadistic behavior, and sets the stage for the abuse to be continued under the disguise of tradition.

http://educate-yourself.org/mc/illumformula2chap.shtml