Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Techmology and Scientism => High Weirdness => Topic started by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 02:43:20 AM

Title: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 02:43:20 AM
The rules:

Post the text from a news story from either germany or florida, removing the place names. We need to guess which it is.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 03:10:03 AM
Sure, I guess. I've never played this game before. I think it might be limited to fortean or weird shit, though.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 27, 2009, 03:18:42 AM
Just in case someone missed/forgot the theme song:

THINGS ARE SICK AND TWISTED
FROM TOO MUCH SUN AND NAZIS
SEX METH AND DEATH FETISHES
BOTH OF THEM HAVE ALL THESE
GUARANTEED NOT TO BORE 'YA
GERMANY OR FLORIDAAA

QuotePakistan discovers 'village' of ******* al-Qaeda insurgents...

My answer: GERMANY (because of the geographical proximity)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 03:20:38 AM
I say florida. The guy has a florida feel to me. Too warm.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 27, 2009, 03:29:26 AM
#2 G.O.F.

QuoteNaturists will soon have their own 11-mile long trail for hiking in the nude and some enthusiasts have been trying it out before the official opening next May.

The person that runs a nearby campsite, has led the project to create the nudist trail overcoming some local protests by pointing out its potential boost for tourism.

"I think it's a great way to promote tourism here," the person said on Tuesday after a newspaper published a picture of two women wearing nothing but rucksacks on the trail. "There's already been a lot of interest in it."

Naturism fans have been monitoring progress of the trail in Internet chatrooms for months and a band of naked hikers took a test walk on the not-quite-finished trail in May.

The trail is being marked with special signs warning the uninitiated that they could encounter nude hikers.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 27, 2009, 03:36:22 AM

i wonder how long we should wait to reveal the answer, you know, for us not to burn-out all the stories and also not make it too stagnant.

Id say to wait 2 replies at least...
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 03:56:55 AM
I'm going to say germany too.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 27, 2009, 04:13:28 AM

Both of you got it... Berlin, Germany.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2009, 01:34:16 PM
Germany.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Pariah on September 27, 2009, 09:09:57 PM
Florida
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Kai on September 27, 2009, 09:33:03 PM
Quote from: Broken AI on September 27, 2009, 09:57:42 AM
ok got it now

QuoteMan slices and dices himself breaking into jail

September 01, 2009

******** recently walked out of a *********  jail a free man.

It seems he wasn't too happy about that and soon discovered the joy of razor wire.. . .

Florida or Germany?

Florida
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 27, 2009, 10:15:16 PM

Florida (it seems a swamp redneck move to walk thru razor wire instead of figuring out how to avoid it)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Verbal Mike on September 28, 2009, 12:54:15 AM
I call that one Florida.
Please to be revealing answer nao.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 28, 2009, 04:02:56 AM
QuoteOfficials say a man was airlifted to the hospital for treatment after he was severely burned during a fight over beer, cigarettes and money.

Ambulance company spokesman says the 47-year-old suffered "serious burns." The police chief  told the news journal that the person was drinking in a home's backyard when the fight broke out Saturday afternoon.

Police chief said that during the scuffle, a 42-year-old  dragged the 47 year old into a wooded area, poured gasoline on his face and lit a fire. Police Chief said a bystander helped put out the flame.

The 42 year old was jailed on 100,000 (currencies) bond.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 28, 2009, 08:06:17 AM
Florida.
Sounds like a dumb ass floridian fighting over booze, smokes and money.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 28, 2009, 11:25:19 AM
Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 28, 2009, 04:31:51 PM
It's Florida.
It was on the front page of the paper.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 28, 2009, 06:47:32 PM

Florida indeed it is. (sorry for taking so long to post answer)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 28, 2009, 11:41:21 PM
QuoteA ****** biker who rather brilliantly converted a beer crate into a diminutive quad bike has been relieved of his wheels, following a police pursuit, ****** reports.

***** apparently attracted the attention of law enforcement operatives by speeding on his lovingly-crafted machine. He attempted to make good his escape into woodland in *****, but got bogged down in thick mud.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cramulus on September 28, 2009, 11:41:58 PM
gotta be florida
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 29, 2009, 12:32:22 AM
Germany.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Zenpeanut on September 29, 2009, 01:16:45 AM
I'm going Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 29, 2009, 03:08:55 AM

Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Pariah on September 29, 2009, 03:14:32 AM
Beer? I'm placing my bets on Germany
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 29, 2009, 04:12:57 AM
*Reveals it to be.... Germany.  Because only a german mechanic could break the speed limit in a beer cart.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/28/motorised_crate/
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 29, 2009, 07:26:48 AM
Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on September 29, 2009, 07:28:13 AM
Germany.
What would a thief in Florida want with toothpaste?
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Jenne on September 29, 2009, 06:54:00 PM
NO beer and no trailers to go by...I'm going to say Fla on this one...
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on September 30, 2009, 12:38:21 AM

QuoteThe thief hit the woman in the face and fled the scene, @@@@@reported.

loltastic

Florida (dont all europeans have bad teeth? or is it just the english?)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 30, 2009, 04:11:43 AM
Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Jenne on September 30, 2009, 05:52:33 PM
GREAT GERMANIA HOW YE HAS FALLEN!
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on October 01, 2009, 03:35:01 AM

Quote
A man is facing charges after authorities said he was naked and covered in feces when he broke into a resident's backyard and jumped into the pool. A police report shows 21-year-old person was charged with burglary to an occupied dwelling, disorderly conduct and misdemeanor theft.

The resident told police he heard the 21 year old crash through the screen of his pool and take a splash Saturday night. Authorities said the young man took a towel and fled. Police used a K-9 to track him to a home. He told police he had been drinking.

He was being held at the jail on 10,500 (currencies) bail. Jail officials said he did not immediately have an attorney.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on October 01, 2009, 04:17:56 AM
Florida
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on October 01, 2009, 11:42:49 AM
Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Triple Zero on October 01, 2009, 12:22:32 PM
they don't have the same system with bail money in Germany, so that's kind of a giveaway.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cain on October 01, 2009, 03:37:02 PM
Its amazing Squid turned out so normal, being the product of both Florida and Germany.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: LMNO on October 01, 2009, 03:37:45 PM
Perhaps they cancelled each other out.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cain on October 01, 2009, 03:38:38 PM
Perhaps.  I would have hoped for a synergetic combination, though.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on October 02, 2009, 12:30:15 AM
Quote from: JohNyx on October 01, 2009, 03:35:01 AM

Quote
A man is facing charges after authorities said he was naked and covered in feces when he broke into a resident's backyard and jumped into the pool. A police report shows 21-year-old person was charged with burglary to an occupied dwelling, disorderly conduct and misdemeanor theft.

The resident told police he heard the 21 year old crash through the screen of his pool and take a splash Saturday night. Authorities said the young man took a towel and fled. Police used a K-9 to track him to a home. He told police he had been drinking.

He was being held at the jail on 10,500 (currencies) bail. Jail officials said he did not immediately have an attorney.

It was Florida.

(sorry spags, cant find link to the news)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on October 02, 2009, 12:32:27 AM

Squid should breed scientologists and rocket fuel diet alligators, to make a super-pet.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on October 02, 2009, 01:12:37 AM
She can cross the species boundary... WITH SCIENCE?!
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Iason Ouabache on October 04, 2009, 07:22:14 AM
Quote from: Cain on October 01, 2009, 03:37:02 PM
Its amazing Squid turned out so normal, being the product of both Florida and Germany.
Squid is normal? On what planet?  :wink:
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 05, 2009, 06:35:22 AM
According to floridians I'm both a fucking lunatic and the devil.
THE. DEVIL.

According to me, they're all a bunch of fucktards dipped in hot melted shit. I'm surprised these assholes don't all die from forgetting to breathe.

I'd say I'm totally normal. As a product of my environment, I know exactly what not to be.

Squid- has seen the unthinkable lowest of low of humanity



Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on October 07, 2009, 01:29:54 AM


QuoteWhen a silver motorcycle had passed him on the roadway near ****, he had to take a second look.

"I thought the driver of the motorcycle was not wearing clothing," **** said as he turned his car around.

When asked where he had been, the 45-year-old **** stated, "I don't know." [The Cop] said [The naked drunk man] also admitted that he had been drinking.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on October 07, 2009, 02:32:22 AM
Florida. I can't believe that Germany would be quite so uptight about drunken naked cyclists.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2009, 07:02:39 AM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on October 07, 2009, 02:32:22 AM
Florida. I can't believe that Germany would be quite so uptight about drunken naked cyclists.

Yeah, or anywhere else, really. That wouldn't rate either police response or a news writeup here. As long as they were wearing a helmet, they're pretty strict about that here.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 07, 2009, 07:12:40 AM
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on October 07, 2009, 02:32:22 AM
Florida. I can't believe that Germany would be quite so uptight about drunken naked cyclists.

Germany- they're strict as hell about their road rules

If it were Florida I would expect them to also have a child on the back of the bike and be high on meth and/or homeless.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Triple Zero on October 07, 2009, 08:31:44 AM
Germany doesnt like public nudity like that, but then again, I don't see it happen there as quickly either so I'm going Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cain on October 07, 2009, 10:29:23 AM
German on holiday in Florida.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: The Johnny on October 08, 2009, 05:59:10 AM

Germany (i wonder if it was a classy bike)
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Requia ☣ on October 08, 2009, 06:16:33 AM
My Post is missing.

Twas Florida, but a man called 'Krauss'.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on October 08, 2009, 06:01:25 PM
 :lulz:
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cramulus on September 26, 2013, 02:46:17 PM
'Gang Of Retirees' Jailed Over Kidnapping

Three retirees who lost $1.4 million in the financial crisis and kidnapped their investment adviser in an attempt to recoup the money were convicted Tuesday, with their 74-year-old ringleader sentenced to six years in prison.

...After four days captivity, Amburn wrote a plea for help in a crude code – "Sell 100 Call Pol.ICE" – on the fax to his bank and was freed by police within hours.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cain on September 26, 2013, 05:12:21 PM
-
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cramulus on September 26, 2013, 05:25:35 PM
BZZT, that took place in Germany

but it involved properties in Florida, so it's tricky!
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 26, 2013, 09:22:24 PM
Quote
A #### man apparently attempted to pay his water bill with an envelope containing 3 grams of crack cocaine, according to a #### TV station:
QuoteThe #### Water office was evacuated on Sept. 23 after the water-department employees called the #### <police department> to take a look at the envelope with the white powder, authorities said ...
According to the report, it is common for customers to drop off envelopes in the counter that contain their water bill payments.
But in this case, when the employee opened the envelope, there was no statement or writing on it. Instead, the envelope contained a clear plastic bag with 3 grams of crack cocaine.
The man was videotaped by surveillance cameras; <policemen> say he rode away from the water office on a bicycle.
Singing a happy tune, we hope.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Cramulus on September 26, 2013, 09:42:09 PM
crack? Gotta be Florida
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on September 27, 2013, 02:17:27 AM
Ding ding ding! Correct.
Title: Re: GERMANY OR FLORIDA: The Thread!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 27, 2013, 02:51:07 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 26, 2013, 09:42:09 PM
crack? Gotta be Florida

I feel like this should be a tagline or in the newsfeed or something.