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One day, I shall make the news feed. Then they'll see. Then they'll all see! Mwahahahaha!!!!

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Topics - Doobie

#1
My parents were Discordian. Is this the case for anyone else? It's definitely an odd position. Also, anyone here have any kids? If so, do you talk to your kids about the sort of things usually talked about here?
#2
Discordian Recipes / Honey Goes Good On Everything
March 13, 2013, 01:01:45 AM
This is an absolute fact.

I especially love cooking my quasadillas in that sweet bee vomit.

So try some on something you've never had it before. Then tell me about the experience. It really, really works.
#3
Literate Chaotic / Parable of The Boy And The Tulip
March 13, 2013, 12:51:10 AM
On a cheery and sunny day, a little boy was frolicking freely through a field filled with wild tulips. He looked down upon one and inquired of it "You, flower, why dost thou grow and make thine leaves long and colorful?". The tulip eloquently responded "So the bees may come and partaketh of my pollen, so I may soak up the sun, little boy". The tulip then returned with it's own question,  asking "Why dost thou wake up and grow big and tall?" The little boy replied, "Well...I do not know...I will grow up, acquire a job and have children of my own, I suppose...or that is what I am told...but I have not a purpose like you." The tulip questioned further, "Then why dost thou continue living, if thou hast no purpose?". "Well" said the boy, "I do have a purpose, my purpose is to beget children so my family may continue". The flower, egging further still, "But why? So thine children may come back to this very same place with the very same question? Then we are back to square-one".

The boy thought for a good while and came to the conclusion "I hast not a reason for living, why then do I go through the trouble? I am going to end myself right this instant." The little boy picked up a sizable stone and was about to dash it against his fragile skull when the flower intervened "Stop, do it not! Thou hast thine whole life in front of thee!...actually, nevermind, kill yourself."

The boy smiled. He smiled even wider. A maniacal grin. Then he laughed, and he laughed on and on for a long while. "Fucketh it" said the boy ,"I am going to experience life for myself, not for thee, not for my children, but for myself." The boy then lifted his foot, and stomped on the tulip, grinding it to little pathetic bits.

Also, right that moment, a wild cougar came down upon the boy and savagely mauled him to death.

The End.
#4
Are there actually any out there? Besides in San Fran. I've looked for directories to no avail.

I'm thinking of starting one.
#5
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / First Post
March 11, 2013, 03:08:09 AM
I have no idea what's going on.