Recent Posts

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91
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by Suu on November 16, 2021, 12:51:12 am »
 :fap:
92
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on November 16, 2021, 12:18:10 am »
Norton:  *gets minor burn from equipment*

Me:  "You have to work more carefully, kid."

Me:  *falls down the stairs less than a second later*

Sideways Dave:  *grin*

Norton:  "You hurt?"

Me:  "Just my dignity."

*3 hours later*

My name plate on my office has been replaced with "Gerald Ford".

My little Norton is growing up.  :( 

This doesn't mean horrible retribution won't apply.
93
Only Maybe Arts Lab / The Dark Night of the Soul
« Last post by Bobby Campbell on November 13, 2021, 04:29:59 pm »


Did another podcast interview thing  :fnord: :fnord: :fnord:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKp3RZEWsFw
94
Apple Talk / Re: DON'T ASK ME, I JUST PUSH THE BROOM.
« Last post by Doktor Howl on November 13, 2021, 02:23:20 am »
Bump for use in the new book
95
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Fujikoma on November 13, 2021, 12:00:13 am »
Ah, it's getting good again, time to get comfortable and read.
96
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on November 12, 2021, 11:55:35 pm »
So, my son still works at my old company.  They fucked him over to get back at me for quitting and taking Billy (they fucked with his overtime).

Then Gil (one of the company officers) calls me.

Gil:  "Hey, Hamish, how do you get rid of the solvents?  Which permit is that under?"

Me:  "Hang on, I have you on speaker phone.  Did you want the book way, or the real way?"

Gil:  "Um, the real way?"

Me:  "You take the solvents and the manifests and you shove them up your ass."

Billy:  "You have to stick your dick in the solvents first to make it official."

Gil:  "This isn't funny."

Norton:  "Actually, it kind of is."

Sideways Dave:  "HAW HAW HAW" (really loud)

Gil:  "What the fuck was that?"

Me:  "That was Sideways Dave."

Gil:  "Who or what is a 'Sideways Dave'?"

Billy:  Sideways Dave is basically a criminal enterprise."

Norton:  "A loud criminal enterprise."

Gil:  "Are you going to help me or not?"

Me:  "After you fucked my son over?  Let's see, you took him for $400, so my hourly rate for helping is $800."

Gil:  "You're fucking with me."

Billy:  "Also a set up charge of $900 per job."

Norton:  "Hey, Gil, there's something I always wanted to tell you."

Gil:  "What?"

Norton:  "Goodbye."  *Hangs up phone*

97
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« Last post by Doktor Howl on November 11, 2021, 11:40:38 pm »
Today at work:

Sideways Dave:  "..."

Me:  "I know you're sneaking up on me, Dave."

SD:  "How?  I was being totally silent."

Me:  "I could hear you sweating."

SD:  "Bullshit.  You're using webcams again."

Me:  "I am an aging drug addict, Dave.  Paranoia is one of my virtues."

SD:  *sad face*

Me:  "You know, even if you did kill me, they won't give you my job."

SD:  "I know.  I was just practicing."

Norton:  *prairie dogs out of his cube*

Me:  "Don't worry, Dave won't kill you either."

Norton:  "Yes, but I haven't seen Billy in a while, and he might."

SD:  "I never liked him.  He is shifty."

Me:  "LOL.  Dave, you are the platonic ideal of shifty."

SD:  "Yes, that's why I know not to trust him."



98
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by rong on November 11, 2021, 04:00:37 pm »
That was you? 
99
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by Doktor Howl on November 11, 2021, 01:09:03 pm »
100
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« Last post by rong on November 11, 2021, 04:28:20 am »
Such clever
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