Kirby Meets the Devil
This is the first issue of a series of comics charting the rise and maybe fall of Kirby. In this story he, as the title suggests meets the Devil. Later stories will also feature: !ROBOTS! !NINJAS! !ZOMBIES! !VAMPIRES! so stick around. Each story will come in multiple parts which will be updated whenever I feel like it. I don't know where the original idea for Kirby Comics came from but the only other one I know of is written by Super Tails 3000 and is called Lady Stalker: http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/gentopic.php?board=564871
I've also heard of a "Bible According to Kirby" but I haven't yet got a copy of it.
Part the First
(>^_^)>_____
Kirby: *whistles while he strolls*
___(>^_^)>____
Kirby: *keeps whistling and strolling*
_______(>^_^)>______
Kirby: look is this getting anywhere or am I just going to whistle and stroll forever?
________(>6_6)>____##»«##
Kirby: ¬ø!OMGWTF!?
________(>6_6)>_#¬ª<('-_-'<)?í¬´#
Kirby: ¬ø!ZOMG! who the **** are j00?!
_______(>6_6)>____<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Hi! I'm the devil & I'd...
___<(9_9<)________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby:!WAAAAAAGGHHHH!
Satan: ...like to purchase your soul.
9<)_______________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Bugger! Why do I keep getting that reaction?
__________________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Oh well better get after him I suppose.
Will Kirby manage to outrun Satan? Or will he be caught and have to do battle to protect his soul? Well what do think? Hmm? Be a pretty dumb comic if he just runs away for ever wouldn't it? Anyway you'll find out as soon as I post Part the Second.
Suggestions are welcome.
Part the Second
____<(9_9<)________________
Kirby: Huffhh. Huffhh. Need air! Must rest!
____(>6_6)>_______________
Kirby: Wonder if I'm safe yet.
____<(9_9<)______________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Yoohoo! You only went 4 inches away you know!
Kirby: !!!WWAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
~~much running later~~
(>,İ_,İ)><(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________________
Mrs Jesus Freak: Praise the Lord!
Mr Jesus Freak: Praise the Lord indeed!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>___________________<(¬§_¬§<)
Mrs JF: !Holy ****! ¬ø!WTF is that!?
MR JF: !Godamnn he looks stoned! Must be a hippy! And don't swear!
Kirby: hhnfghhnnn need air! hghnghghnhn must rest!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______v(¬§_¬§v)________
Mrs JF: !Quick kill him! Kill him!
Mr JF: !Stop or I'll shoot you dead where you stand!
Kirby: !!HGNHGGNNNNNN!! !Satan! !Satan!
(>,İ_,İ)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______v(9_9v)____________
Mrs JF: !¬øWTF?! !He must be a Satanist!
Mr JF: !Right, that's it boy, you dead!
Kirby: !NO! Satan's after me! He wants my soul!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______v(9_9v)______##¬ª¬´##
Mrs JF: Oh he is just on drugs.
Mr JF: Yup. Still better shoot him. Only doing my duty.
Kirby: No! Please I'm teling the truth.
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______(v6_6)v__#¬ª<('-_-'<)?í¬´#
Mrs JF: !Wait a minute! ¬ø!WTF!?
Mr JF: Stop swearing woman! You'll go to hell!
Kirby: AHH ****! Not you as well!
Will the Jesus Freaks kill Kirby? Will they try and kill Satan? Or will they just wind up fighting each other? And what of Kirby? Is he completely screwed or will he manage to maintain a hold on his soul? And will Satan ever stop smiling? Find out in Part the Third. Coming whenever I damn well feel like!
:lol:
Man I must be so bored - heres part 3 already now I have got to go do something else so it might be a couple of day's before the next update. ;_;
Part the Third
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______(v6_6)v____<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: !TADA! Bet you never thought you'd be glad to see me!
Mrs JF: **** you! I'll say whatever I feel like! *******!
Mr JF: Shut the **** up or I'll blow you away myself!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______(>6_6)>____<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: How terribly romantic!
Kirby: You're really weird, you know that?
Mr & Mrs JF: #####CENSORED#####(trust me it's really bad)
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______(>6_6)>____<('-_-'<)?í
Mr & Mrs JF: #####CENSORED#####(trust me it's still really bad)
Satan: Anyway while these two lovebirds are occupied let's get back to the matter of your soul.
Kirby: WWAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______(v6_6)v____<('-_-'<)?í
Mr JF: Shut the **** up! Me and the ***** are having a discussion here!
Kirby: I'm sorry! I'm Sorry!
Mrs JF: Yeah? Well you better be ****head!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______(v6_6)v____<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: We'll just move up a bit and give you your privacy
Kirby: Rock, hard place, rock, hard place, rock...etc.
(\(\
( ^.^)
o(")(")_____________(>^_^)>_______<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: That's a bit better.
Kirby: For you maybe - it still looks like I'm screwed.
(\(\
( ^.^)
o(")(")_____________(>^_^)>_______<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: You don't have to sell it to me if you don't want to.
Kirby: Well I don't!
Satan: Can't you at least hear me out?
Kirby: No!
(\(\
( ^.^)
o(")(")_____________<(^_^<)_______<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Ok you see that giant bunny over there?
Kirby: Yeah. So?
(\«%¥%»(\
( ^«%¥%»^)
o(")¬´%¬•%¬ª(")________<(6_6)>_______<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: So:
*BOOOM*
o(")_____( ^__(\_^)__(>6_6)>_(")_(\__<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: OK! I can totally listen to your offer!
Satan: I knew we could be friends!
Will the Jesus Freaks kill each other or live happily ever after? And who in their right minds is really rooting for the latter? Will Kirby manage to resist the temptations that Satan will surely be offering him? And should he? Even if he does will he ever get over the trauma of what happened to the bunny? Will you? If you do come back for Part the Fourth.
I declare this thread fucking swote!
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j174/omgtehlulz/himeobs_stamp.gif)
Part the Fourth
~(¬ª_¬´)~________(>^o^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Buuurrrrrrppppp! Good bunny! Oh and seriously nice trick with breathing fire to cook it!
Satan: Well I try.
O47: My wabbit it Assplode!
~(¬ª_¬´)~________<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: Waaaahhhhh!
Kirby: Hello little girl.
Satan: Come and sit in Uncle Satan's lap!
~(¬ª_¬ª)~________<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: ¬ø!Pervert!?
Satan: I'll give you a cookie!
~(¬´_¬´)~________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: Waaaghhhhhhhhhhh! Pervert!
Satan: Knew that would get rid of the little crybaby.
Kirby: That was mean.
______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Now about my purchasing that little old soul of yours?
Kirby: Well ok I'll listen to your offer.
______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Well just for starters how does a gagajabillion ,Ǩ sound?
______________(>$_$)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: ¬ø!A GAGAJABILLION ,Ǩ?!
Satan Just for starters - don't forget money can't buy you happiness.
______________(>$_$)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: !MONEY! !MONEY! !MONEY!
Satan: Calm down in return for your soul I'd also like to offer you a the most beautiful woman in the world
______________(>;_;)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: But what if she doesn't like me?
Satan: Of course she'll like you - I like you don't I?
______________(>;_;)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: but what if you only like for my soul?
Satan: If you don't stop being an emo sissy I'll ****in' eat you! Anyway don't you want to meet her?
____________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Ok!
Satan: That's better!
____________(>¬§_¬§)><3_#¬ª(~_~)¬´#_<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: She's called Kitty now be nice!
Kitty: Hi!
Kirby: !!ZOMG BOOBIES!!
<World Through Kirby's Eyes>
______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___(. Y .)___<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby: Nice shiny pretty boobies
Kitty: Oh for ****'s sake
Satan: I knew he'd blow it! Why did I try for sex appeal?
[/<World Through Kirby's Eyes>]
______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___(>_<)___<('??_??'<)?í
Kitty: !OI! Writer! ¬ø!WTF!? - ¬øWhy are my breasts on display?
Kakoluqia: Ummm it's an ASCII comic on an internet forum. Why should I go for complex and subtle plot devices when your breasts will get me ten time the number of readers.
______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___<(~_~)>__<('??_??'<)?í
Kitty: Because this is degrading and insulting!
Kakoluqia: So what are you going to do about it?
Kitty: Go!
______________(>¬§_¬§)><3__________<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby:Boobies! Huh! Where'd the boobies go?
Satan: She left because you're a pervert & you only cared about her breasts.
______________(>;_;)></3________<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby: You told me she'd like me!
Satan: You forgot to mention you were a sexist ass!
______________(>;_;)></3________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Now will just the gagajabillion ,Ǩ do?
Kirby: But I'm sad!
______________(>;_;)>_________¬©<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Cookie?
______________(>^_^)>¬©_________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Yay! Cookie!
Will Kitty & her breasts return? Will Kirby accept the offer of a gagajabillion ,Ǩ for his soul? What has happened to the Jesus Freaks since we last saw them? Where will the little girl go? But most importantly will Kitty & her breasts be coming back?
That Bible According to Kirby I mentioned in my first post? I got ahold of it now - if anyone wants a copy private message me with an email address & I'll send it out as soon as I have a spare moment. It's fucking hilarious.
Interval 01
Catch up time with the Jesus Freaks
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(still really bad)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(I'm starting to wish they'd stop swearing)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(now that's just plain nasty)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(please stop)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(that's not very nice!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(your ruining my comic you know)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(Oi! no racism - now that really is disgusting)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(hey! theres no need to be rude about me!)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(for ****'s sake! oh **** now you've got me swearing too - happy now?
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(hey is that true?)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(no, if that's true she's got a point)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(now watch it that could be libelous)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(oh! so it <I>is</I> true)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(yeah you get him girl!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(WHAT!? she really did that?)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(OMG! you really did do that. nasty!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(yeah you get her now!)
(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(ooh nice comeback)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(Oi! no death threats - I'm temporarily removing your gun!)
<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mr JF:#####CENSORED#####(I've already told you about swearing at me!)
Mrs JF: #####CENSORED#####(¬øWTF? why are you backing him up?)
<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(no he doesn't have the right to do that)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(and stop swearing at me!)
<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(alright fine I'll give it back - I don't care if he shoots you!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(here you go)
(>,İ_,İ)><3__<3<(,Ć_,Ć)>,--_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(actually what they're saying is fine...)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(...it's just too gooey for my tastes)
(>,İ_,İ)>___(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--_______
Mrs JF: Hadn't we better go and check on how that boy is doing?
Mr JF: Yeah, I reckon so. Going to shoot me a devil!
So no sign of Kitty's breasts but at least you know what the Jesus Freaks are like. Not that anybody could really want to know. Pity about the lack of Kitty. Anyway maybe something interesting will happen next strip. But I doubt it. This guy can't write for ****.
Part the Fifth
______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: So a gagajabillion ,Ǩ do?
Kirby: Well you were going to give me someone as well.
______________(^¬è??_??)^__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: yeah but you a perv so she left.
Kirby: I want somebody! Anybody!
_________#¬ª¬´#(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: K
__________(>n_(>O_O)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Mystery Guy: Man the things I do for cookies!
Kirby: Hey! No not like that!
Satan: Hehehe! Homophobe.
___________#¬ª¬´#(>6_6)>__________<('¬¨_¬¨'<)?í
Kirby: That was not funny!
Satan: I laughed.
________________(>6_6)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: *******! Anyway if I can't have girl I want a servant.
Satan: Mexican guy who'll work for shiny pebbles do?
#¬ª¬´#_________(>^_^)>__________<('-o-'<)?í
Kirby: Nicely!
Satan: *whistles* Antonio!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
Antonio: Si Senor!
Satan: You work for this guy now.
Kirby: Cool!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('0_0'<)?í
Antonio: Gracias Senor! No more surprise buttseckz!
Satan: I told you never to mention that! It was dark! I was looking for Kitty!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Ok, Antonio you go get me coffee. And pr0n! Now!
Antonio: Si Antonio go now.
______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: So we have a deal then I take it ?
Wow still no Kitty? I mean that's all anybody's reading for, right? This is teh internets: we want boobies! Oh and some people (who for some bizarre reason are not fascinated by breasts might be wondering - will Kirby sign the contract? Will Antonio manage to find coffee and pr0n in rednack land? How do I get cheap immigrant labour who'll work for shiny pebbles? Does anyone really think that any of these questions will be answered in the next strip?
I less than three this post.
Best noob ever.
Thank you \m/.^_^:\m/ - for once actually not minding being called a n00b
Part the Sixth
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
:..(b^_^)b_______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,İ_,İ<)
Antonio: Hi! Anybody tell me where I can get coffee round here?
Mr JF: Holy **** a boarder jumper!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b_______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,İ_,İ<)
Antonio: Oh and I need some pr0n as well please senors.
Mrs JF: And a pervert! Shoot him! Shoot him!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(^_^q)____¬?_¬?_¬?_--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Antonio: Ok! I'm going now!
Mr JF: Not so quick!
>BANG BANG BANG<
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Antonio: Iiieeee! I die! And I never got to tell my burritos I love hiim!
Mrs JF: Woohooo! #####CENSORED#####(ahhhh not more racism again)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(yup more racism. damn I hate these guys)
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)______--,<(,Ć_,Ć)>__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Mr JF: ¬øWTF was a [mexican guy]* doing round here anyways?
Mrs JF: I bet he has something to do with that hippy and the guy with the horns.
*No way am I typing that word
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)_______(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Mr JF: Yeah. We should check them out!
Mrs JF: Well, let's eat first!
~~a short while later~~
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...____(>,Ćo,Ć)>,--__<(,İo,İ)>_<(?o?<)__<(^.^)>__
Mrs JF: Buuuurrrrrrrrrrppppp! Damn fine [mexican guy]* there!
Mr JF: Buuuuuuurrrrrrrrrppppppp! Yup he surely was!
*Still not bloody typing it!
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...______(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--__<(,İ_,İ<)___(>?_?)>__<(^.^)>__
Mr JF: Ok lets go kill the hippy and Satan
Mrs JF: Yeehaaww!
~~Meanwhile~~
___________________________(>$_$)>-?í<('-_-'<)
Satan: So if you just sign here, here & here. Oh and here + here & here.
Kirby: Mmmhmhmnn: !$!MONEY!$!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--____________<($_$)>-?í<('-_-'<)?í
Mr JF: ¬ø!WTF!?
Mrs JF: You ain't signing that contract are you?!
Kirby: Well, yeah!
Will Kirby finish signing the contract? Why does Satan need his signature so many times? And just wtf is up with people called Jesus Freak eating people? Is this strip just being too rude to christians? Or is there really a conspiracy of christian cannibals? And where is Kitty? Next issue might just possibly answer some of these questions. But probably not. Don't get your hopes up.
Part the Seventh
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG click<
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--________¬?_¬?_¬?_¬?_¬?<(?ó_?ó)>-?í<('0_0'<)?í
Mr JF: No you ain't!
Kirby: *death rattle*
Satan: !****! !****! All that ****ing work up the ****er!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(?ó_?ó)>_?í<('0_0'<)?í
Mrs JF: Hallejuh! You saved him!
Mr JF: I certainly did! Now I shall definitaly get to heaven!
Satan: ¬ø!WTF!? You murdering nutjob freaks just killed him!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(?ó¬Ø?ó)>_?í<('??_??'<)?í
Mrs JF: But now he won't go to hell!
Satan: Free will you sons of *****'es!
Mr JF: **** is up with that body?
~~meanwhile~~
___________________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby: ¬ø!WTS!? What happened? Where am I?
__________________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby: ¬øWT? What The Sugar? Hey, how come I can't swear? And why have I got wings?
...... /##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(b^_^)b___________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Antonio: Hola mis amigo!
Kirby:What are you doing here? Where is this? Where's my coffee & [fluffy bunny pictures]?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(q^_^)q___________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby:!!¬øFLUFFY BUNNY PICTURES?!! What I can't think bad thoughts?
Antonio: Of course not this Heaven! It really boring. I even missing the surprise [tickleing]
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(q^_^)q___________»»(>^_^)>_________
Kirby: Right where's the manager? I want to complain?
Antonio: Is a queue - St Peter he get round to us eventually.
~~much waiting~~
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: Right, name please?
Kirby: Kirby
Antonio: ¬øWT? I even get discriminated against in heaven?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: Yes.
Antonio: ![sugar]!
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?ív(*_*v)¬´¬´
St Peter: And you said your name was Kirby, right? Waitagoddamnedminute?! ¬ø!Kirby!?
Kirby: Yes. Why, is there a problem?
Will Kirby fit in in Heaven? Is Heaven where Kitty lives? Can we please see her breasts again? Why is St Peter shocked to meet Kirby? And why are mexicans discriminated against everywhere? Answers next issue! Maybe.
Sorry for the delay!
Part the Eigth
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: You're Kirby? [sugar]!
Kirby: Yes. What's the problem?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: You're going to have to come see God with me.
Kirby: Cool, but why?
Antonio: Can I come too Senor?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: No.
Antonio: Awwwhh!
Kirby: He's with me
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í
St Peter: Alright but keep your mouth shut. This way
Antonio: Yay! *mutters*racist [sugar]
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>__¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___,Ä?__/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Kirby: Hey who's the blind dude?
St Peter : Shhh! That's God!
God: *muttering* stupid little springy bit! Where is it?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í__¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>,Ä?/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
St Peter: Here it is sir!
God: Ahhh, excellent work there Gabriel! There put it back in!
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
St Peter: Sir, I'm Peter not Gabriel.
God: I don't care!
Kirby: Excuse me. God, what are you doing?
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
God: Huhh? Whazzzat? Oh I'm making watches - I believe you monkeys call them solar systems.
Kirby: But you're blind!
God: So? Discriminatory *******
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Antonio: Hey Senor, you can swear!
God ¬ø!WTF!? A [mexican guy]*!? How the **** you get in?
St Peter *mutters* I told you to stay quiet.
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Kirby: What's the matter - don't you like mexicans?
God: No of course not - if I liked them I'd have hardly have made Mexico would I?
Antonio: *mutters* Racist [sugar]
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
God: Anyway, who are you?
Kirby: I'm Kirby.
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í__\_<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>_¬Æ
God: ¬ø!KIRBY!?
*You know even if God himself says it I'm still not going to type it.
Why is God so shocked to see Kirby? Why does god hate mexicans? Is the idiot writer just trying to offend or does he actually think that he's making a valid point about the problem of evil? Does the writer really think anybody on teh internets is going to get blind watchmaker jokes? ¬ø!AND WHERE IS KITTY!?
This is sweet. :lol:
Part the Ninth
........./##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
St Peter: Theres your walking stick sir!
God: Thank you Mathew.
........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
St Peter: It's Peter sir.
God: Again: Why should I care? Now, Kirby?
........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: Yes.
God: Why are you here. You're supposed to be getting tempted by my son.
........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>6_6)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: ¬ø!WT!? Satans your son? And he was supposed to be tempting me?
God: Of course Satan is my son! In fact he's my good son.
........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>6_6)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: Why was he trying to get my soul then?
God: It's a game we play every few years to see who's more popular.
........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: So who's winning?
God: I was up until I had Jesus - then the whole thing went to pot.
........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
God: Anyway that's irrelevant - you're not supposed to be here yet or maybe even at all.
Kirby: Hey, I'm in heaven - you don't here me complaining!
........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___¬ª¬ª#(>6_6)>#___?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
God: Not for much longer! Back to Earth
........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
¬ª¬ª#(b^_^)b#_____##__________¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í__#¬•#_<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Antonio: What about me Senor?
God: Wait a minute! **** I knew I forgot something! Here [mexican guy] take this with you!
......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...___________________?í<(*_*<)_____(>,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>\__¬Æ
St Peter: *mutters*And now I have to clean up the hat [sugar]
God: Why the **** should I care?
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(X¬Øx)>_?í<('??_??'<)?í
Satan: ****! I'm going to have to start all over again!
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: Uh oh!
Meh. I've given up on ever seeing Kitty again. I hate this writer - only one pair of boobs in the whole damn comic and they would have to belong to a girl with an IQ higher than room temperature. I'm sulking.
Where is more?
This thread rules!
MOREGODDAMNIT!
Sowwee! I've been away for a few days I should have posted saying something but it was all a bit rushed.
Part the Tenth
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(X_x)>_?í<('0_0'<)?í
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: ********! Zombie! Kill it!
Mr JF: Godamnnit! I already used all my bullets killing his ass first time!
Satan: This is not supposed to happen!
(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______________(/"X_x)/"?í#<('0_0'<)?í#
Kirby: Brains
Mr JF: What do you think we should do?
Satan: **** this spooky ****! I'm outta here!
<(,İ_,İ<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_________________(/"X_x)/"E
Kirby: Contract?!
Mrs JF: Damn he's fast! I think the devil had the right idea!
<(,İ_,İ<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______________"\(x_X"\)___
Kirby: Brains!
Mr JF: Hurry up you fat *****! He's getting closer!
<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__________"\(x_X"\)_______#¬ª¬´#
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: Why the hell are we so fat?!
<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____"\(x_X"\)____________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!
Mr JF: We're Americans!
Antonio: Ahh. It good to be back!
<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)__--,<(,Ć_x"\(x_X"\)_____________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Where the ****ing brains at man?!
Mrs JF: I guess I'll be seeing you darling.
Antonio: Where the **** is my hat?
<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)__"\(x_X"\)--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Still want brains!
Mrs JF: Why'd I marry such an idiot anyways!?
Antonio: Heh! This funny! Serves you racist ****s right!
<(,Ä°_x"\(x_X"\)_______--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Still no ****ing brains! I'm hungry!
Antonio: Yoohoo! Over here amigo!
<(,Ä°_x_______(/"X_x)/"--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!
Antonio: That's right amigo! come get some!
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_______(/"X_x)/"________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!
What is Antonio playing at? How did the Jesus Freaks survive without brains? Why the hell do zombies like brains so much anyhow? Why wasn't a redneck gun nut carrying a spare clip? What do brains taste like?
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j174/omgtehlulz/himeobs_stamp.gif)
Part the Eleventh
*SPLASH*
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(/"X_x)/"¬´¬´>+^(^_^d)
Antonio: There!
Kirby: Brains?
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(/"6_6)/"___d(^_^d)
Kirby: ¬ø!WTF!?
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>6_6)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: What the hell was I doing!? And where the ****s your hat!?
Antonio: You were a zombie. God only resurrect you. He forgot to make your body alive again.
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: So what did you do?
Antonio: He gave me that liquid to throw at you to make your body alive again!
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: Cool! But seriously Where's your hat?
Antonio: It should be over where I died.
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___<(^_^d)
Kirby: Let's go get it then.
Antonio: Si. That way.
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________<(9_9<)___d(^_^d)
Kirby: ¬ø!WTF!? What happened to the Jesus Freaks!?
Antonio: Heheheh! You ate them Senor.
<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>6_6)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: Why the crap didn't you stop earlier?
Antonio: They ate me, so I let you eat them.
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__#¬ª¬´#_______(>;_;)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: But know I'm a cannibal! I'm going to Hell!
Antonio: It not so bad - apart from the surprise buttseckz!
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x#¬ª?í(>'0_0')>?í¬´#_(>;_;)>___d(^_^d)
Satan: Hey I told you about that!
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__?í(>'-_-')>?í___<(;_;<)___d(^_^d)
Kirby: So now I'm going to hell anyway I guess I don't get the money.
Satan: I wish, but the rules are you have to sign for me to win.
<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__?í(>'-_-')>?í-<($_$<)_____d(^_^d)
Kirby: !!MONEY!!
Satan: Yup, just sign here, here & here + here...........................
THE END
What you all thought the writer was going to come up with a way of saving Kirby? Screw that - he's in the money now! So what's going to happen to him now that he's loaded? Will he just live happily ever after - well up until the lake of fire for eternity bit at the end? Or will he keep getting into trouble for the sake of boosting the popularity of this n00b? Guess! (PS there will be an epilogue so check back in a day or so anyway).
Epilogue
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..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Antonio: Cool! got my hat back!
... /##\........
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..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
... /##\........
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..(b^_^)b______(>^_^)>___________
... /##\........
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..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: Is that all that's going to happen in this epilogue?
Antonio: Well Senor now you don't have a soul & a gagajabillion ,Ǩ - what do want to do?
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: Ummm I dunno.
Antonio: Party?
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: !!!PARTY!!!
~~a short time later~~
... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b¤_¤)b=~_<3(. Y .)<3_~=<(¤_¤<)_<3(. Y .)<3__________
Antonio: This is good **** Amigo!
Kirby: Whooo Yeah! Baby bounce them#####CENSORED#####
Kakoluqia: ¬ø!WTF!? Who censored that!?
Kitty: Me! You godamnned sexist piece of ****!
Kako: Meh, Killjoy! Anyway - there's only this little part of the ending to go and we're done until the next story(guess what's it's going to be about):
__>x_,İ)>_______________--,<(,Ć_x<__
Zombie Mrs JF: Brains!
Zombie Mr JF: Brains!
OK so that's a wrap for my first Kirby ASCII Comic - There's a few obvious flaws but on the whole I like it for a first effort. The next one will be along in a few days - I want to leave a little time for this one to feel more closed. Couple of changes for y'all to look forward to: as you all may have noticed Kitty wasn't in the first one for nearly long enough also you will have noticed that the ending commentaries are a bit too hostile to actually be me speaking about myself: therefore in future stories commentating duties will be handled by Kitty with the help of the owls;also I'm changing the way I prep the stories so that they'll flow better.
Intermission
Spam in the place where I live (Ham and Pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it
Spam in my lunchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darned good sandwich anyway you slice it at all
If you're running low, go to the store.
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is going to open the can
The can is there to hold in the Spam
Spam on the table at home (ham and pork)
Think about selection; are there differnt flavors?
Spam in my office at work (it's the best)
Think about the stuff it's made from- wonder if it's mystery meat
If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermos to help wash it down
Now if there's some left, don't just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout
Spam in my pantry at home (have some more)
Think of expiration- better read the label
Spam- breakfast, dinner, or lunch (it's the best)
Think about the way it's pre-cooked- wonder if I'll just eat it cold
Now once you start in you can't put it down
Don't leave it sitting, or it'll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the Spam in
Oh, Spam (Spam!)
Ham and pork
Think about nutrition- wonder what's inside it
Spam (spam!)
It's the best
Really makes a darned good sandwich any way you slice it
Spam in the place where I live (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie (let's eat!)
Spam in the place where I work (you're obsessed)Think about the way is processed- wonder if it's some kind of meat
Spam in the back of my car
Spam anyplace that you are
Oh, Spam!
Spam fucking rocks.
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j174/omgtehlulz/TheCake.jpg)