cant even take it anymore!!! this world is a dump!!! i just want to rocket to another planet with a trustful group of friends and rule a new world of wonder with them. want to know why? i'll tell you anyway!! i have to deal with bitches that looove drama and dicks!!! just love to pick on my friends and i. they can just go and dress slutty like they always do and become prositutes by the age of 17!! maybe even have a prom dumpster baby!!! this fucking world is filled with trash and pollution!! there is so much pollution, the people of china are going to die by the end of may cause they cant handle the fucking popullation there!!! the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him. i almost wish one of those crazy bastards shot the fucking guy between the eyes!! and the posers!! what is up with the music now a days? it sucks thats what!! i rarely find any of my favorite bands because its covered with miley cyrus and the jonas brothers bullshit. the jonas brothers can go suck dicks and miley can go of into her whore training like always. SO I CANT LISTEN TO MANY DAMN GOOD MUSIC ANYMORE!!! And whats up with that Osama guy anyway? "oh, im osama. im going to blow up your country with nuclear bomb and hide in a cave. DEATH TO AMERICA!!! LOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!" oh who gives a shit. this country is going to be fucked up by bombs and terroists anyway. what happened to trust anyway? you make a new friend and they have to back stab you and treat you like chicken shit. comeon!!! you cant even trust any people anymore?! just be glad some people are trustful than others. :kingmeh:
love & rockets,
prodigy
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
i have to deal with bitches that looove drama and dicks!!!
There are monkeys everywhere.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
just love to pick on my friends and i.
Don't be a victim. Fuck with them harder than they fuck with you.
Kill a motherfucker.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the people of china are going to die by the end of may cause they cant handle the fucking popullation there!!!
:cn:
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
who exactly elected obama president?!
Americans.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!!
What do you dislike about communism and what are your political views?
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the government basically controlling everything now, because of him.
The government is controlling everything because of
you. Because you let them. Because the majority of the monkeys who share your living space want them to. Sorry, kid. You've been outvoted.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
and the posers!! what is up with the music now a days? it sucks thats what!! i rarely find any of my favorite bands because its covered with miley cyrus and the jonas brothers bullshit. the jonas brothers can go suck dicks and miley can go of into her whore training like always. SO I CANT LISTEN TO MANY DAMN GOOD MUSIC ANYMORE!!!
Burn CDs with your favourite bands on them. Don't listen to bad music.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
And whats up with that Osama guy anyway? "oh, im osama. im going to blow up your country with nuclear bomb and hide in a cave. DEATH TO AMERICA!!! LOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!" oh who gives a shit. this country is going to be fucked up by bombs and terroists anyway.
Wut.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
what happened to trust anyway? you make a new friend and they have to back stab you and treat you like chicken shit. comeon!!! you cant even trust any people anymore?!
No. You cannot trust most people.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
love & rockets,
prodigy
Love and Waffles, actually.
thanks for your opinion, i perfer love & rockets better though. but thats just me.
Slow down there on the Shift + 1 there bud.
tryin to...just expressing how i feel about the world just to mess with it.
Now that you've got that block of text out of your system, how about breaking it down into a series of smaller rants, giving more information about your position on each issue and proposed solutions to the problems you see?
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:37:35 AM
tryin to...just expressing how i feel about the world just to mess with it.
The world has now been messed with.
GJ! :thumb:
this rant was supposed to be about bullshit of the world but im just a noobing around. i shall take the advice of smaller rants but the shift + 1 would have to stay.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:46:21 AM
this rant was supposed to be about bullshit of the world but im just a noobing around. i shall take the advice of smaller rants but the shift + 1 would have to stay.
Feel free to use shift + 1 where appropriate, but using it everywhere kind of defeats the point, IMO. It's not emphasis if you put it everywhere. I suggest reading over your entire rant before posting and making sure it has the tone you intend to give it. This one, to me, seemed very fast and very loud, almost as if you were hysterical in some places. While this may accurately convey the feelings you are trying to express, your point can get lost in a sea of shrieking, yelling and chaos.
Excessive use of methods to put this tone into your writing reduces the effectiveness of the language.
There's a different between ranting and raving.
Dr Paes' advice. Take it or leave it.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:46:21 AM
this rant was supposed to be about bullshit of the world but im just a noobing around. i shall take the advice of smaller rants but the shift + 1 would have to stay.
The problem isn't the size of your rant, it's that it looks like a blob of words. Readers expect a certain level of structure and organization, and you aren't providing it. To be honest, it makes you look like an idiot.
Try using proper capitalization & punctuation, separating distinct thoughts into distinct sentences, and distinct topics into distinct paragraphs. This improves readability, and makes it more likely that someone will take the time and actually read what you wrote.
There is some very good advice in this thread, which would be very good to follow.
Dr. Paes has good advice. You seem like you'll do with your ranting, you may just want to use a few more rules of grammar to make it easier to read.
That aside, I can see you are opinionated on many things. Is good.
I'm going to go ahead and guess this guy is pretty young.
PZ, you mentioned a teacher saying you needed to prepare for high school. I'm assuming that means you're in middle school?
Depending on regional curriculum or even individual school systems, he might not have touched upon things like structure and organization. The words might not even mean much to him. I'm not saying that to pick on him, it's just a thought for anyone going for constructive criticism.
As for my own, PZ, seems like you have a few things to be angry about. I think a very helpful exercise would be to try to understand why you're angry about them. You bring up "bitches that looove drama and dicks" that pick on you and your friends. Are they bitches in the sense of mean spirited, or are you calling them that because you want to disregard them as people for having wronged you? Did they actively wrong you, or are you only perceiving that they have? That's not a question you have to answer, but things like that will help straighten your thoughts out. The goal is, ultimately, to understand which thoughts are completely your own and which ones you're throwing back up after having heard them. It's the cornerstone of a very important concept of thinking for yourself, or Think For Yourself Schmuck, or TFYS.
Don't misread that as only thinking in order to further your own goals. Read it as ensuring that the conclusions that you come to are genuinely your own conclusions, and not those that have been imprinted there by the things that you speak against (in your case for example, Obama, the Jonas Brothers).
Why does everyone hate on Miley Cyrus so much? :?
Sins of the father, is my guess.
You probably were expressing a common sentiment held by many people here, but I couldn't make much sense of it through the poor structure.
But you're also young. Time to start learning writing skills. :) :wink:
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him.
Someone's folks listen to Glenn Beck, I'm guessing.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2010, 02:23:07 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him.
Someone's folks listen to Glenn Beck, I'm guessing.
I honestly didn't even "get" that sentence. Made me go "Hwhaaa?"
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2010, 02:23:07 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him.
Someone's folks listen to Glenn Beck, I'm guessing.
That was my guess too. Then again, at that age, I wasn't the brightest bulb in the world re: politics either. And I managed that all on my own (my parents maybe watched the 6 o'clock news, nothing more).
Quote from: Cain on March 26, 2010, 04:06:23 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 26, 2010, 02:23:07 PM
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him.
Someone's folks listen to Glenn Beck, I'm guessing.
That was my guess too. Then again, at that age, I wasn't the brightest bulb in the world re: politics either. And I managed that all on my own (my parents maybe watched the 6 o'clock news, nothing more).
ProdigyZombie is one of TGG's friends, IIRC. She's weird in the right way, but is still too young to be as cynical (not always a bad thing) as we older degenerates.
I guessed that might be the case. Well, we all start learning somewhere. And she's at least half right, so she's doing better than some.
Since this is in OKM, my critique is going to be brutally honest.
1) Your sexual mores seem rather puritanical. What does whether or not someone "loves dick" have to do with what kind of a person they are?
2) I think everybody can agree that pollution is a problem, but tossing out nonsensical lines like "the people in china are going to die by the end of may..." makes your opinion seem uninformed at best.
3) The voting population of the United States of America elected Obama. Their other choice was a rabid warmonger with his pet populist idiot waiting in the wings, so they can hardly be blamed for choosing the lesser of two evils. Also, before you share your political opinions, you should bother to learn something about the political systems you're talking about. Saying that Obama is trying to turn America into a communist nation makes you sound like an idiot, as anyone who knows what communism actually is would see this conclusion for the utter fallacy that it is. FYI, Obama isn't even a liberal/leftist, he's a centrist and firmly in the pocket of the capitalist system. What exactly do you feel that the government is controlling under the Obama administration that it wasn't controlling before?
4) If the Jonas Brothers DID suck dick, would that matter? What do their or Miley Cyrus' sexual proclivities have to do with your opinion of their musical worth? And are you really complaining about being unable to find good music in the age of the internet?
5) The only nuclear weapons that have ever been detonated on American soil have been done so at the behest of the US government during testing. Osama Bin Laden, in addition to having been largely irrelevant to American foreign adventurism for the last several years, has never blown ANYTHING up with a nuclear bomb.
6) The end of the rant seems like more whining about people screwing you over. If this is a constant problem for you, you might want to consider the possibilities that:
A) something about you causes exploitative people to perceive you as a victim. prove them wrong and this will stop happening.
B) You are not a good judge of people, and should be more discriminating about what kind of person you make friends with in the first place.
C) Your puritanical sexual mores, homophobia and/or racism, and uninformed and generally regressive-seeming political opinions conspire to make you generally unlikeable.
I'm guessing you're very young and more likely to take this criticism as a personal attack rather than helpful advice, but it IS meant to be helpful advice. I'd encourage you to keep ranting, but it will help your cause if you bother to be informed about the things you're ranting about, and also to develop your thoughts further before you share them with other people.
I think this criticism is a good one, and hopefully will be taken seriously by PZ.
What ECH said.
And for the record, I happen to very much enjoy the company of bitches who like dick.
ECH :mittens:
Probably good advice for just about everyone.
thank you all for your advice. i will definetly take that for more rantings in the future. :|
again, please don't let the advice/criticism deter you from future rantings and contributing more to the site. We can be brutally honest, but it's usually with good intentions and the desire to see people improve their craft, and just having the desire to let your hate valve blow out occasionally is a sign of potentially being a biped.
Quote from: ProdigyZombie on March 26, 2010, 01:17:53 AM
cant even take it anymore!!! this world is a dump!!! i just want to rocket to another planet with a trustful group of friends and rule a new world of wonder with them. want to know why? i'll tell you anyway!! i have to deal with bitches that looove drama and dicks!!! just love to pick on my friends and i. they can just go and dress slutty like they always do and become prositutes by the age of 17!! maybe even have a prom dumpster baby!!! this fucking world is filled with trash and pollution!! there is so much pollution, the people of china are going to die by the end of may cause they cant handle the fucking popullation there!!! the fucking economy is going down and who exactly elected obama president?! i can bet you that he is trying to make this country go communist!! the government basically controlling everything now, because of him. i almost wish one of those crazy bastards shot the fucking guy between the eyes!! and the posers!! what is up with the music now a days? it sucks thats what!! i rarely find any of my favorite bands because its covered with miley cyrus and the jonas brothers bullshit. the jonas brothers can go suck dicks and miley can go of into her whore training like always. SO I CANT LISTEN TO MANY DAMN GOOD MUSIC ANYMORE!!! And whats up with that Osama guy anyway? "oh, im osama. im going to blow up your country with nuclear bomb and hide in a cave. DEATH TO AMERICA!!! LOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!" oh who gives a shit. this country is going to be fucked up by bombs and terroists anyway. what happened to trust anyway? you make a new friend and they have to back stab you and treat you like chicken shit. comeon!!! you cant even trust any people anymore?! just be glad some people are trustful than others. :kingmeh:
love & rockets,
prodigy
congrats on you're first rant prodigy!!!!!!!!! I just now noticed it.... but yea, it's good you has a friend like me!!!!! and don't worry, I'll get back at those bitches for you buddeh!!!!! :lulz:
TGG, gonna go kill some tomatoes, possibly for tacos...