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Messages - Fujikoma

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Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: June 29, 2010, 10:14:39 pm »
It was in etiquette.

Thanks a lot, Pixie!... Now to find out what a spag is...

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: June 29, 2010, 10:04:05 pm »
Odd thing, really. Someone posted a question on Yahoo answers "When everyone is taking a dump on your forehead for trying to have integrity, what do you do?"...

So I posted:

"With such a lack of detail, it is impossible, IMO, to answer your question.

Sometimes, though, it can be not so much integrity as willful ignorance and insensitivity, in my personal experience. I always look to myself first for the source of my problems, do a careful and brutal analysis. If I find something, I try to fix it. If I don't, I ask the dumping parties exactly what I did wrong, take that into account, and try to fix it. Take them very seriously.

Looking to yourself, first, for the source of your problems, is a key to not being a cosmic schmuk. This is a world which we all must share, and when we encounter adversity, we can either see it as a learning opportunity, or resist learning anything from it and continue smashing our heads into a wall.

Not saying you're a schmuk, everyone, in their own way, can be one at times... Only providing my two cents. Hope it is helpful.

In the case that the dumping parties are being schmuks, well, at that point you have to stand up for yourself and step on some toes... But one must carefully look at oneself first, if the offending party always blames other people for their own problems, then this is strong evidence that they may be a cosmic schmuk. If we all cooperate, we'll all come through this smoothly, and perhaps learn something totally awesome in the process.

Cultivate compassion and do good things, and that is what will come back to you."

Despite the fact that I have no idea what a cosmic schmuk is in the first place. Oh well, didn't somebody here say words mean whatever we want them to mean :p? Noticed a parallel in the language of the question, and figured I'd just toss that in for the heck of it.

Anyway, enough of my own ignorant willfulness, time to save the world!... Or, do laundry, whatever the case may be.

And Dok, I'm reading the "total madness" thread... I see what you mean... I think it's starting to dawn on me.

Hmmm... I see.

Yes, I can see how that would be annoying. My personal view of it is that it can be a bit of a mixed blessing. Obviously, we wouldn't be how we are if our brain structure were just a tad bit different, there are advantages, and some extreme disadvantages, that go along with it. It can't be ascertained yet just what those are, only speculated upon, but people are learning more about it.

In the end, I'd rather be without it, but sadly, that's not an option. I'm sorry that I acted like one of those people... I'm actually still doing it, might be something I have to adjust over time, but, perhaps I will be a better person because of it.

There's nothing divine about it, but I feel that, as long as I'm stuck with it, I should try and enjoy the positives, and find ways to work around the negatives.

Or Kill Me / Re: Dear fb, I'm dead
« on: June 29, 2010, 08:35:10 pm »
Oooh... My post was terrible, well, that's what drinking will get me.

I once ate all my meds I could get ahold of (only had access to two weeks worth, for good reason), downed a liter of tequila, called an ex-girlfriend and left a message saying "It's not your fault, but, catch you on the other side." (she wasn't the cause, just one of the people I wanted to say bye to). It seems an overdose on those meds causes you to make loud noises when you are breathing, so the next thing I knew I was jarred awake by EMTs dragging me onto a litter...

The catheter was perhaps one of the most painful experiences I'd ever had in my life.

It was a bad time all around, but, had I been successful, I'd have missed out on a lot. It was a hasty decision, and it was wrong of me. It makes me sad when people succeed at such an act. I feel bad for you, and your friend.

Thanks so much, Pixie. I was worried there for a bit... Usually, when I start posting somewhere I'm either the only person with a problem of some sort, or one of two or three. I can understand why people would be sensitive, but usually I'm the only one I have to worry about being sensitive, and I try to provide a positive example to spread the idea that people with a serious illness aren't bad people, and try to get them to understand.

I should have expected Principia Discordia to have likeminded people around, but I never expected it to be an issue.

I take it you guys have had trouble with this sort of thing in the past?

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 07:50:18 pm »
Sorry for the angry posts... Something I read somewhere last night ticked me off. Yes, I understand, I would be an asshole for watching, and the trouble would be, who gets to decide? It was really dumb of me.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 10:49:33 am »
... People (over the age of 22) with low morality scores should be given an instant vacation to happy land (undefined territory which will feature, mainly, assholes)... There, they can be a star in the new, hit reality show "watch assholes fight to the death". I'd watch it.

Or Kill Me / Re: Liberation is scary
« on: June 29, 2010, 10:13:10 am »
Dude, it's hard to tell if you're trying to save me from a fate worse than death, or consign me to one, but I get the impression you are helping me, so, really, thanks... If it turns out to be different... Well, I'll kill you in your sleep... Still, you do your research, don't you?

Anyway, I've been lectured, I know I did wrong, I'm sorry *prays to the rain god*... Still, thanks a ton, it definitely looks like you're being nice from where I'm sitting.

MODIFY: Social structure is meaningless to me, but I deleted my rant out of consideration to the rest of you.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 10:08:07 am »
I'd like to interject some spastic gibberish, but I'm almost paralyzed by what I just read....

Bureaucracy sucks. I don't like dealing with it, but usually I can subvert it with the strength of my personality and the fact that people still take me for a child.

Or Kill Me / Re: Dear fb, I'm dead
« on: June 29, 2010, 09:58:33 am »

Very sad...

It was once put to me, in the best possible way I've encountered yet, by Infantry drill sergeants... "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."... People, who yet could contribute much, are lost so frequently to the despair inside, depriving the rest of us of all their potential... Though the situation may seem dire, if one does not see the light at the end of the tunnel, one may make such a path for themselves...

To tell the truth, the thought crosses my mind daily, but, I've learned that is just one of those things, strong though it may be, it will pass, there will be moments in the sun, and those, really, are worth the slog through the swamps of Hades to attain. There are times where I lose my way, but I get by... There are times where I've attempted, and almost succeeded, but by the grace of fortune, I am still here... It is a trap which catches many, and this does not say anything awful about their character, but at times, logic can be the enemy.

Intelligence is no guarantee of survival, that idea is idealism... In many cases, it may be an obstacle, but, understand, the obstacle may be overcome... Not by simply being stupid, which, would likely not be the case of an intelligent individual, which, paradoxically, intelligence makes it HARDER to survive, especially with the difficulties normals and the illuminati have put into place to make sure that never shall the two meet, and not simply by force of will, because even the strongest will can be broken... It is, oddly enough, by fortune, that we find ourselves exactly where we want to be, either that, or we're delusional, and what is really happening is all part of the fiction in our heads.

Whatever, I've been lectured already for getting all nutty on the boards, I really need to chill...

But it is sad to lose an unknown individual to the void... I'm sorry for the loss. From personal experience, it is likely she was desperate, and didn't take much time to think, thinking that this would be the best way to solve any real or imagined problems she may have caused... It was likely a well informed decision, but a bad one, all things considered. I live every day as if it is my last, because it may very well be, this is not to say I throw caution to the winds, but I tell my loved ones I love them, and I say my goodbyes without saying goodbye. I want people to give a shit when it's all over... And I never know when that urge will take total control.

But I still know I have much to do... There is much that, well, people seem too totally ignorant to do without me. Were that not the case, I would end it immediately... It is too bad she decided to go so early, but life can be very painful for some of us... It may be impossible for you to understand, but there is no way you can live life behind these eyes. While I cannot speak for your friend, there are times where life becomes so painful, where the future becomes so dark, that there seems to be only one way out. I am deeply sorry, but I hope you understand that she did what she thought was best.

Or Kill Me / Re: Rant, rant, rant
« on: June 29, 2010, 09:12:27 am »
God... That poor, freakish, light-tanned colored thing... I smashed it, I watched it's legs twitch, and squished it some more, but it kept moving, squirming... And I felt something, something horrid, the same thing I've been so numb to in the past... I was the freaking spider, I was the abomination... I was in both places at once, the one administering the pain, and the one feeling it, and not just that, but other instances I'd caused, though distant, sprang to mind... I remembered all the spiders and bugs I'd killed... I know I had to do it, but I felt like total crap for having done so, and I really don't want to feel like that for such a simple chore as spider slaying...

Or Kill Me / Re: Rant, rant, rant
« on: June 29, 2010, 08:56:11 am »
Glad you're feeling better. I'm feeling better since I got a couple beers in me, I'd like to say I did so in celebration of your birthday, but that would be a load of bullshit... Still, I don't really know any of you guys, but the little bit of reading I've done today, and the idea that this is a Discordian forum, makes me feel slightly closer to ya'll, and generates an almost instant monkeysphere promotion in my mind for everyone I meet here. Try not to be too hard on your mom... I know you're angry, and that I don't know the details, and you likely see her as a mega-bitch, but I hate my mom too... I also care about her a lot. It confuses me, but every now and then I empathize...

It hurts to kill bugs and spiders these days. God, I almost cried when I killed that abominable camel spider I saw yesterday. I could almost hear it screaming

"Why me?! What did I ever do to you?!"...

What's next, am I going to have to be a vegetarian...? Sorry, I like meat too much, but I freaking hate spiders, and now they're hurting me emotionally every time I kill them. I used to be the person people went to to kill freakish bugs and spiders... Now I'm just a husk of my former self. Compassion is eroding my apathy, and I am losing my grip on myself as I used to know him. Stupid conscience, stupid empathy, stupid pain. Urg.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 08:44:44 am »
FUCK those guys... But seriously, that's how they do shit. They have a specific set of rules, and they feel like they can't bend those rules for anyone... I used to work for various retail stores, much the same goes on there, but, your highest priority is customer service, and you do your best, or you don't have a job long... Freaking banks and the DMV and such, well, they're not about customer service so much, so, they don't have to keep the idea that "the customer is always right" in their heads all day, so, they provide bad service...

Unfortunately, I think what I just said may be true... The box of chocolates may melt that cold bitch's frozen heart, though.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 03:23:49 am »
I think the assholes are always there, perhaps the very presence of bureaucracy is a sort of enabler for the poor asshole, giving them a method of surviving... Unfortunately, the asshole, if left unchecked, will reproduce in unsustainable proportions, either through infection or conception. Therefor, let us not do away with the bureaucracy, and the unfortunate assholes in the process, but put into law a controlled asshole hunting program. A few months out of every year shall be asshole season.

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