(https://i.imgflip.com/fqnjl.jpg)
(https://i.imgflip.com/fqno9.jpg)
(https://i.imgflip.com/fqnq2.jpg)
:lulz: I don't know what's happening but I already like it.
(http://s25.postimg.org/456nay8tb/roflbot_21.jpg)
(http://s25.postimg.org/8flb6jdwf/roflbot_22.jpg)
I just don't know what is true about snails, Nigel. And I don't think the snails do either. :sad:
(https://i.imgflip.com/fqoya.jpg)
WHO KNOWS?
(http://s25.postimg.org/fld28zmzj/roflbot_24.jpg)
(http://i1057.photobucket.com/albums/t384/Krista_Pendleton/uhhmm_zps6fd86889.jpg)
SQUIDDY!!!!!
Giant African Land Snails are banned as pets in the United States because they become an invasive species and crop pest if released into the wild.
Eating undercooked snails can result in meningitis infections, handling them cannot.
Most snails are hermaphrodites.
Snails provide the shells that most hermit crabs inhabit.
Snails are some of the earliest fossils in existence.
Snails do not like cheese.
Snails can mate several times before laying eggs, and one clutch of snail eggs may have two or more fathers.
Snails do not have brains in the traditional sense. They have four ganglia that serve the same purpose.
Snails do not like rain.
If you step on a snail, do not attempt to rescue it. You will fail and possibly be sad about it.
Snails require calcium in their diets to build their shell. This calcium can come from rocks, concrete, bone, stucco, or snail shells.
Snails do not have feelings.
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.
This defies plausibility. I question whether this is really what is true about snails.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 27, 2014, 06:41:48 AM
Snails do not like cheese.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 27, 2014, 07:05:22 AM
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.
This defies plausibility. I question whether this is really what is true about snails.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 27, 2014, 06:41:48 AM
Snails do not like cheese.
This is
100% TRUFAX.
Every rule has an exception. I suggest we devote our resources to finding the one snail that likes cheese, thereby catapulting him to international fame and celebrity
I suspect that all of these things are factual about snails, and correct.
But are they really what is true about them?
What is true about snails?
Quote from: Eaten by Clowns on December 27, 2014, 01:19:33 PM
I suspect that all of these things are factual about snails, and correct.
But are they really what is true about them?
What is true about snails?
No snails are true. All snails are permitted.
The snails that can be described are not snails.
Land snails are just like a tiny human.
Who looks like a disembodied tongue.
And is covered in mucus.
And has a shell.
The land snail breathes air just like the peoples do and eats with its mouthhole.
It's bottom pair of tentacles are for smelling while the top pair is for crude seeing.
It is however born without ears which makes hearing difficult, impossible really.
They are deaf.
But in all other ways they are exactly like a tiny human being.
Who happens to have a penis next to his face. And a vagina.
Most landsnails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.
This however does not mean they can self... baby-make.
When they mate land snails circle around each other. think full-body french kiss, but with more mucus.
As they do this they are looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.
I wish this was a metaphore, but it's not. They actually have love darts, like actual darts. It is crazy. Land snails have a totally different level of kinky. These calcified darts are located in the snails dart sack. located below the penis. when the dart impales the mate they inhibit spermicidal secretions. Which makes the next part more effective. After a spirited darting the snails insert their penises into eachother's vaginas. And they just hang out. And try not to laugh. Because that might hurt the other snail's feelings. Even if all the junk is right there in your face, it is not nice to laugh.
The snail holds on to the sperm from multiple partners, before fertilizing it's eggs. This makes paternity tests a bitch.
The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge. Thus completing the spiral of life. See what i did there, spiral?! (Oh god, kill me)
Next time you meet someone attractive and get anxious, just remember: At least you don't have to worry about a dart being shot into your head.
I have the most amazing boner right now.
(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7555/16112593616_ddc1a058df_o.jpg)
SPEAKING AS A TRANS-SNAIL, I FIND ALL OF THIS VERY OFFENSIVE.
CHECK YOUR VERTIBRATE PRIVILEGE.
Quote from: Reginald Ret (07/05/1983 - 06/11/2014) on December 28, 2014, 08:33:13 PM
Land snails are just like a tiny human.
Who looks like a disembodied tongue.
And is covered in mucus.
And has a shell.
The land snail breathes air just like the peoples do and eats with its mouthhole.
It's bottom pair of tentacles are for smelling while the top pair is for crude seeing.
It is however born without ears which makes hearing difficult, impossible really.
They are deaf.
But in all other ways they are exactly like a tiny human being.
Who happens to have a penis next to his face. And a vagina.
Most landsnails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both mommy parts and daddy parts.
This however does not mean they can self... baby-make.
When they mate land snails circle around each other. think full-body french kiss, but with more mucus.
As they do this they are looking for opportunities to impale each other with their love darts.
I wish this was a metaphore, but it's not. They actually have love darts, like actual darts. It is crazy. Land snails have a totally different level of kinky. These calcified darts are located in the snails dart sack. located below the penis. when the dart impales the mate they inhibit spermicidal secretions. Which makes the next part more effective. After a spirited darting the snails insert their penises into eachother's vaginas. And they just hang out. And try not to laugh. Because that might hurt the other snail's feelings. Even if all the junk is right there in your face, it is not nice to laugh.
The snail holds on to the sperm from multiple partners, before fertilizing it's eggs. This makes paternity tests a bitch.
The eggs are then laid into top soil and soon baby snails emerge. Thus completing the spiral of life. See what i did there, spiral?! (Oh god, kill me)
Next time you meet someone attractive and get anxious, just remember: At least you don't have to worry about a dart being shot into your head.
This was blatantly stolen from ZeFrank. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTV23B5gBsQ) by the way. (I Forgot to give him credit before)
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 29, 2014, 03:26:09 PM
SPEAKING AS A TRANS-SNAIL, I FIND ALL OF THIS VERY OFFENSIVE.
CHECK YOUR VERTIBRATE PRIVILEGE.
NO.
NO.
You call it "privilege"
We call it "Not leaving spooge tracks in every room we walk through"
(http://wiki.duelaccelerator.com/w/images/4/46/4147_1.png)
Shelless Snails Sexytime - awesome and acrobatic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG9qpZ89qzc