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Messages - Q. G. Pennyworth

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 356
1
Apple Talk / Re: post in this thread for a chance to win
« on: July 26, 2021, 07:22:10 pm »
Win what??
I'll give you a hint.  It's the size of a birthday cake
Is it a birthday cake?

2
Apple Talk / Re: Everyone's a winner b
« on: July 26, 2021, 07:20:33 pm »
What about losers?

3
Only Maybe Arts Lab / Re: MAYBE DAY 2021 IS COMING!
« on: July 24, 2021, 04:04:56 pm »
I didn't realize this, but Holy Nonsense dropped on Maybe Day. That's gotta be some kind of omen.

4
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 23, 2021, 10:53:27 pm »
I swear to fucking cod there is a 100% effective incantation to create a new page for Holy Nonsense and it is "I think this is the final layout!"

5
Apple Talk / Re: Last one to post in thread wins
« on: July 23, 2021, 05:07:30 pm »
to keep content fresh, I recommend we pick a theme and each post our answer. How about social security numbers to start!

6
Apple Talk / Re: First person to post in thread wins!
« on: July 23, 2021, 05:06:19 pm »
no rules about not complaining about this thread!

7
Or Kill Me / Apocamysticism
« on: July 23, 2021, 03:05:04 am »
Why is it that when people get into religion or mysticism they so often wind up obsessed with apocalypses? The mad preacher with a sign reading THE END IS NIGH is a trope so old and pervasive I could be writing this rant in 1952. Donít folks know itís BAD, ACTUALLY, to wrap up your mystical identity in the trappings of Apocalypse? Donít people know that cheerleading the end of the world is REALLY FUCKING STUPID? Iím looking at you, Cthulhu cultists.

But Iím looking at all you bitches way too into dystopian lit, too.

The fact is, we are living in a culture OBSESSED with apocalypses.  Zombie Apocalypses, Climate Apocalypses, whatever the fuck the Preppers think is gonna happen when Obummer or Sleepy Joe comes for their guns, the Apocalypse America is built on,* the one the Evangelicals are praying for every night... The fact that I can list so many that are so intimately familiar to you as a reader is already a giant red flag.

You didnít choose the memetic soup you were going to be born into. Itís not your fault that youíre cohabiting this planet with a bunch of self-destructive hairless primates, and itís hard to be surrounded by that cultural noise without picking up a little bit here and there. But you need to be AWARE of what youíre ingesting, and you need to EXCISE some of this apocalypse cheerleading bullshit. Because itís killing people. Not fictional people, not potential future people, but really alive humans right now. 

America is Obsessed with Apocalypses
And America Outsources Its Problems

You canít understand whatís happening in the Middle East without understanding the history of European colonialism and anti-Semitism and WWII and the Holocaust but you ALSO canít understand it without knowing that a significant, organized voting bloc in the US wants very badly for a specific apocalypse to happen, and getting all the Jews to move to Israel is one of the steps on that path. You canít understand Climate Change until you remember that there are people who honestly believe they are in the last generation of humans to occupy this planet. You canít understand anything thatís happening in politics without constantly reminding yourself that a small but extremely loud subset of voters WANT TOTAL SOCIAL BREAKDOWN. The Call Of The Void, writ large.

And look, I really do empathize. Iíve spent my time in the hopeless pits of powerless rebellion. Iíve shut down in the face of problems too large to hope to affect. Iíve had dark nights at 3am where all I wanted to do was give up the present and try to imagine an end that, while probably not pleasant, might at least have some meaning? Some significance? But itís a trap, and youíve gotta claw your way out of it.

The way out isnít gonna look how you expect, either. You might need some time being a bad guy, to break those chains of ďgood people donít.Ē You might need to give up on politics and start running a goat larp. You might need to spend every morning for 6 weeks taking pictures of the flowers in the gardens in your neighborhood. Your escape wonít look like mine, like anyone elseís.

But When You Break Out
Youíre Saving A Piece Of The World.


8
Apple Talk / Re: Edicts
« on: May 31, 2021, 07:58:38 pm »
fuck I love all of this. New HN section coming up

9
Discordian Recipes / Re: The Functionality of the Black Iron Prison
« on: March 22, 2021, 08:57:53 pm »
So once upon a time I was hanging out with a porn star and her husband when their neighbors come over for a visit and they're like DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT THE SEXY THINGS JUST CHILL AND WE CAN FUCK AROUND WHEN THEY'RE GONE and I'm a dumbass and more than a little drunk so sure whatever fine. Eventually I decide to break out a deck of cards and perform my favorite party trick: Drunk Tarot.

There is a RITUAL to Drunk Tarot. You have to sit on the floor with me. You have to posit a question or at least a subject. You have to shuffle the deck. And, most importantly, you have to give me a sip of your drink.

Drunk Tarot is performed with a standard 52 deck of cards, borrowed from the host. I explain that the suits of a playing card deck map to the suits of a tarot deck: diamonds to coins/pentacles, clubs to rods, spades to swords, hearts to cups. The layout is always the celtic cross, because it's big and fancy looking.

After doing a read for our host and hostess, one of the friends asks if he can go. He has seen this ritual play out. He shuffles the deck, I take a sip, we lay out the cards.

10 of spades shows up in the distant past slot.

I make a face. "This might be a mistake, this card is supposed to map to the ten of swords, which often represents a violent or untimely death..."

He loses his shit.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW MY COUSIN GOT MURDERED?????"

10
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 22, 2021, 08:04:31 pm »
I got it explicitly because it was black pasta when not cooked. Really wanted to goth pasta... it was a mistake.

squid ink keeps the color when cooked. Someone donated some squid ink spaghetti do not ask me why.

11
Discordian Recipes / Re: Poor Person Eats
« on: March 21, 2021, 10:54:58 pm »
while I haven't done the black bean pasta, I have tried one of the chickpea ones and it's exactly as bad texturally as you describe here. If you want a noodle without gluten, skip the idiot white people crap and try your local asian grocer

12
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: March 21, 2021, 06:44:58 pm »
My brain is catastrophic right now. The executive dysfunction is cranked up to 11 and it's a struggle to do anything more complicated than counting shampoos. Fortunately, the thing I do that does the most good right now is at that level.

13
Or Kill Me / Re: I am the enemy
« on: March 19, 2021, 11:52:57 pm »
I work.
A lot.
I also fall down a lot.
Have days where I can't make myself food or get out of bed.
Just cry at the thought of DOING anything.
Can't bring myself to answer an innocuous message.
Let alone go out and FITE.
There are days I just want to stop.
Stop.
Go back to brunch.
And I cry because I don't know what that would look like.
Because I have been fighting so long I don't know where the safe ground is.
Because I have nowhere to retreat to.
Even when retreat is the only viable tactic
To continue fighting.

There are times when you cannot
Times to digest
Times to rest
And they feel like forever
And they take longer when you beat yourself up for being in them
And you cannot be there for the ones on the front lines
Because they do not know what rest is like
And they resent it
And their howling pain and rage and fear and trauma may fall on YOUR head
Your head that is still in need of rest
Still in need of peace

I cannot fix this for you
I have my own demons to fight
My own exhaustion
My own weakness
But at least let me offer you this
Even the ones you think are strong
Have days, and weeks, and months
Like this.

14
Or Kill Me / Re: COSTUMES
« on: March 19, 2021, 11:29:28 pm »
I'd like to grab this for Holy Nonsense, but I'd want to clean up the bit about the dress and wig wearer if that's alright.

Crap I don't know how I missed this, but yes!  I would be honored to be included in your Holy Nonsense, and you can absolutely clean it up.   

I realize now that that bit about the dress wearer was badly put and could easily be taken wrongly, or offensively, by people that have a hard enough time trying to be who they are without catching shit about it.

FORTUNATELY I'M AN ASS THAT CAN'T MEET A DEADLINE TO SAVE MY SOLE.



15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« on: March 19, 2021, 10:33:28 pm »
https://biresource.org/

I know these people, they are good folks and I trust them. The HQ is in the Boston area but they have links to other groups.

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