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Messages - The Wizard Joseph

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Propaganda Depository / Re: Audioautoerotica
« on: June 17, 2011, 02:16:03 pm »
No actually the audio you hear will not be terribly sexual for the most part.  I've got a plan to make the industry more entertaining, but would rather expand the market than fight for everyone else's share.  that means breaking into middle-america.  The overtly graphic stuff just doesn't sell.  But this is my personal creative art, so I'm keeping it PG-13, but if there was an ontological rating system I'm hoping they would rate me like   OP: Ontological Prick: This material deemed unsuitable for conscious beings everywhere. It contains speculation, graphic philosophical violence, and nonsensical interludes. May not be suitable for children or livestock.

 Also what is NSFW?
I'm guessing at this point that everything you post will be "erotica" in some way or another?

If you must, remember to label links NSFW, if that's what they are.

I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me.  I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.

Who cares?  It is what it is.  I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.

Actually the age joke is one of my favorites.  You see for the biz I'm setting up I'm going to build a mythology into my marketing.  A tale that I'm not gonna spill all at once here, but essentially a mishmash if various theistic and non theistic mythoi.  I'm going to paint a world not just darker but less meaningful and then make it funny.  I'm going to use alot of thematic elements from Discordianism, Gamer culture, Classical Greece & Rome, Monotheism, Polytheism, Paulytheism, Fraternal Orders, or whatever else and paint it against a background of normalcy and despair.  Give it a little time and I'll show you, cause it's not like it's the end of the world or anything :fnord:

How'd that work out for you, old boy?

It's fun so far.  Gotta say that post scared the giblets out of my pet chicken, all of it true.  I guess you guys get enough fresh new Eris lovers in here full of this Principia Discordia thing and with a fresh copy of the Illuminatus! trilogy.  I'll bet some of them were super normalized before exposure.  I think it's like when a hardcore and talented sinner converts to Islam or Christianity (few convert to Judaism but I know @least 1).  Even other people in their faith can find them too much.  The big difference is that you guys seem to have no real inhibitions about bursting (through prick or over-inflation) their balloon.  Please bear for a moment that I'm not one of those types.  I like to use nonsense as somthing of a seasoning or surreptitious poison.


There, some of you guys like fives.  That's good.  I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.


Sorry, I felt like trying to give (at least to me) more entertaining and perhaps less bluntly dark perspectives on Eris than supplied Alty.  Not that it(or any thing) was necessary, but I enjoyed the exercise.   I stopped at five because that's when I thought it was good.  There is no accounting for taste though!

Well, I guess as a creative writing excersize, it was all right.  But you might notice around here, we don't yap on and on about LAWLof5, or speak incoherently, or pretend (to a greater extent) that Eris is anything other than a huge bitch, who prefers fucking your shit to playing harmless pranks while you watch.

I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me.  I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.  I set up this thread to occasionally post ranty characterizations. They will have vague disclaimers similar to the first post.  My more sincere stuff will actually be over on this other thread.

Propaganda Depository / Re: Audioautoerotica
« on: June 17, 2011, 01:24:20 pm »
Thanks.  I've found the process of learning to improv in front of people to be just about the most difficult thing I ever did. My first rants years ago were wild and nearly incoherent. I still got applause, but I think that had more to do with the nuts involved than whatever It was I said.
I'm really new to these forums, but I do get a little inspired by some of you folks and your posts.  I encourage you all to find open events and use that to expose the masses to whatever memebombs you want!  It's not easy at first, but eventually you'll find people absorb and adapt very quickly to info presented in context of what is basically a church or club-like environment. 

Will keep posting new ones weekly and when I get the time will convert some of my older no-audience rants (and perhaps make some new ones for you-all)

Propaganda Depository / Audioautoerotica
« on: June 17, 2011, 05:12:59 am »
Reality Advisory: In this particular thread I'd like to be more sincere and tell you my real opinions about artwork and it's place in things.  Be advised that I'm no wizard and though I may portray myself outrageously from time to time the point on this thread is to display my real feelings and opinions and artwork.

Greetings.  I'm sure you've heard it all before from self obsessed maniacs, but do they always say it with style?  I like to think I do, but it's the audiences that I really love to impress, not necessarily always myself.  I've taken to public ranting at open mike events and refined it into a topical series of public rants that are still going on at quiet cafes and not so quiet bars here in my home state.  

I am setting up a business site and posting these on it as I build up towards a grand opening party.  I thought I'd spare you the trouble of going all the way to my site just to hear my B.S. but some folks seem to like it.  I guess that's why I wanna post it here.  I just want to know if some of you react strongly.

I, Us, Them: Insanity

I, Us, Them: Fear

I, Us, Them: Secrecy

I, Us, Them: Patience

I, Us, Them: Creativity

I'll be keeping up with this thread pretty frequently and posting new rants close to weekly.


Edited to re-direct links to   You may need to refresh the screen if Kiwi6 lags and says it's buffering for too long.


There, some of you guys like fives.  That's good.  I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.


Sorry, I felt like trying to give (at least to me) more entertaining and perhaps less bluntly dark perspectives on Eris than supplied Alty.  Not that it(or any thing) was necessary, but I enjoyed the exercise.   I stopped at five because that's when I thought it was good.  There is no accounting for taste though!

Ah, another mortal soul with a firm grip on the goddess.  Good for you!  I am in agreement, but she is also...

The rainbow from the morning sun on the transmission fluid leaking out of your car.

The hot girl that assures you not only is she legal but disease free that you spend all night hitting on only to see her her run off with some other person and ruin THEIR life.

The moment of synchronized blinkers at the traffic light that distracts you just long enough to get you killed.

The first piss of the morning that forks and gets all over your one-night-stand's bathroom and whatever you're still wearing.

The only interesting thing that's happened in theology since the Baron Samedi broke up with Mama Brigid (just a rumor though)

There, some of you guys like fives.  That's good.  I don't feel a need to keep it up to some multiple.

Or Kill Me / Re: I used to do xxxxx so now I'm an authority on it...
« on: June 16, 2011, 11:53:07 pm »
Plants don't make you stupid. Neurological decay caused by toxins might. Truths... now they have a way of making with the stupid. A lot.

I'll let her know you feel that way.  That said, maybe you just need a palate swap?

Or Kill Me / As y'all say: Mutation is the highest form of flattery
« on: June 16, 2011, 11:32:05 pm »
Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them.  They express views and opinions of no kind.  No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either. 

Behold!  I've devised a plan that will leave all other plans with feelings of inadequacy and a persistent fungal infection.  The world is finally reaching the tipping point!  Brothers and Sisters are divided among themselves in ways that no longer even need the pretext of reason.  In the mess made by the more primitive primates of this world I have been watching and building.  Soon I will be a fresh menace in the marketing world, One that would make Barnum, Bernays, and Reich all proud! (It's too bad most of them are dead)

I turned my grimy hands to scrabbling for an Icon.  That is when I found Eris!  She was so beautiful.. The irony if the whole Illiad situation to me is that clearly Eris Is the prettiest one!  It was also impressive that she managed to throw the golden apple at all.  It clearly works just fine on lesser goddesses. 

Having no real way to relate to you all other than the hotness of your goddess, I won't try very hard.  I'm an outsider to this world and it's sorcerous distr :fnord: ctions.  It would be foolish of me to discuss my origins openly so I will reign it in from here.

I want to open Hail ing frequencies with you followers of Eris.  Though I can earnestly call the magics (Magicks?, Majics?, Magiqs?) of your world rather like a comic book compared to even the basic instruction of my people, (Mom ever catch you diddling to the pictures in the Necronomicon?)I can relate to you and your sense of humor.  It's a most powerful asset.  Those of your world that would shackle themselves to a description of magical seem to have lost much of it in the time that your world has been lost to us, but I say too much.

The core(if you will(or not)) of my plan is to produce a counter current to this lack of life and humor in the most readily available method your silly post-whatever Noosphere (You spell check device is a moron!) can handle, Marketing.  I will blend fiction and fantasy with the real world in a fashion that will infallibly draw attention.  Consider this new thread an opportunity to observe, comment, wail and cry, find fulfillment, or most any other thing. 
Thank you sincerely for your time and good fortune in your days.

Joseph, Wizard, Proprietor of

Sudden quote: If Mathematics is the key to the universe, art is learning to pick the lock, and Funny is kicking the door in and failing!

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