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Messages - Fujikoma

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Or Kill Me / Re: The Instinct to Conform
« on: July 01, 2010, 07:41:09 am »
I am naught but a tube to dispense fire from heaven...

That being said, any attempt for me to conform is usually an exercise in futility. I get nervous in crowds, I flap my arms, I'm sensitive to being touched, and VERY sensitive to anyone behind me... Unless the crowd is large enough, the music is good, and I've had enough to drink... Then it's all cool, I can be part of the squished, compact crowd.

Sadly, I only wish conformity had ever been an option I could have chosen... Still, I see nothing wrong with playing into the charade, one must be able to practice the aneristic as well as the ersitic... I envy that... I really do.

The truth, which has been repeated many times, and which I shall waste time repeating here, is, no man is an island. One should not be ashamed of one's ability to socialize, much less enjoy it. One can get all hung up on non-conformist ideas, but really, it would be kind of nice to be able to mingle without flapping my arms, looking uncomfortable, and twitching... I'm not angry, maybe a little jealous, but breathe fire as well as ice, man.

Personality? Individuality? Such words mean little to me... Sure, there are all kinds of wild accusations I've heard, but one should not be embarrassed if one can fit in, one should only be embarrassed if they allow themselves to become a total tool. Consider it a talent, rather than a problem, even if you shift form for a time, you know who you are, what you believe in, do as you see fit, as long as it is "right", whatever the hell that means.

*practices the foulest rituals of thread necromancy to rouse this horrid bubble of stink-filth to the surface*

Well, if you didn't read already, it's, erm, gone. It was ballsy, fun to write, inconsiderate to anyone here, and it was written while blasted (good enough reason to get rid of it in my book, and if it isn't in your book yet, it damned well should be), which, I'm still blasted... But after actually eating something (and countless hot peppers, you'd be surprised how many you have to eat once you get out of Texas to get that REAL spicy kick), it struck me as a terribly bad idea... Ya'll seem too sensitive at times, you're not ready to handle this sort of garbage...

And I can understand that, I can be sensitive at times too. We just don't know each-other well enough for this, though.

Call me a bad sport if you must, but the whole vibe has been rather tense and uneasy since I got here, so, it's all your fault... :P

Maybe some day down the road.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 05:19:45 am »
I don't think I'll have much problem with these cat people as long as I'm extremely wary of them. I have a cat, I like cats, but I like dogs a lot more. Sure, they can't figure out a litterbox, but they're always happy to see you (as long as you're not a sadistic fuckhead)... My cat has separation anxiety issues, though... I'm sort of borrowing him for the moment, have been for 6 months. He yowls as loud as he can whenever I go outside, and keeps it up for 20 minutes or so. Of course, if I asked about that in the cats section, I think I'd be accused of Nazi war crimes and be told that I was being reported to the FBI... That's just the impression I get.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 03:59:55 am »
I commented on one of that person's questions about Dominionism.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 03:50:17 am »
I know. The number 23 along with the Justified Ancients of "insert something here" tipped me off, as well as the "fnord" in an answer to a previous question of mine.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 03:31:32 am »
LOL, are you  referring to the post about the 23 cats gathered in a circle, and the cat, at the end of it's ninth life, joining the Justified Ancients of Bast? Please tell me you caught that all, and are just being silly (likely, but I never can tell these things)... That had to have been someone from here... Plus, I've seen that name before, on the Spag question...

Thanks for the answer.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 02:22:22 am »
Cross your fingers, this could get ugly.

I doubt they'd know what it means... Or could be bothered to look it up... They might be afraid to answer it.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 02:08:55 am »
I've been trying to avoid profanity, though, thank you for your input, Beast. I would indeed appreciate a link to the information you mentioned. It's not a magic missile, but it'll do in a pinch.

Think you'd get in trouble for suggesting odd names for kids like "Afro Samurai" or "Mister poopypants"? I don't know, just saying the word "afro" may be a hate crime these days.

Yes, Twiddleton, I have been lurking the cat forum over the past ten minutes, and while I have noticed that cat people seem to be much like the supervillains they're frequently portrayed as in movies, I'm strongly resisting the urge to ask a stupid question like "At what point does a cat undergo apotheosis?"... Think I can get away with just one without getting banned?

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 01:04:28 am »
I keep hearing that. I'm not completely stupid, my replies aren't near as bad as I make them out to be... More of a self-deprecating sense of humor, here...

I'm not advising any supplements of any kind, I refuse to. If it works for me, great, for someone else, it could cause a mother-fucking catastrophe. Of this, I am aware. I simply try to point out things that they may not have considered, which may help them, somewhat indirectly, with their issues, and advise them to seek help, whether from family, or from a cognitive therapist, or psychiatrist, if it sounds serious. I'm not mentioning sunshine and rainbows or anything, simply things that have helped me with my darker thoughts and notions, considerations it took me many years to learn to take into account... In all my blind bumbling, the only advice I ever got from anyone is "Get over it. Stop whining.", which, of course, just pissed me off and made things worse.

But if you're warning me about something specific, please, let me know, you're all starting to worry me with your concern.

EDIT: Well, there WAS one good source of advice... A cognitive therapist I saw when I was younger helped me out a great deal... Introduced me to Zen Buddhism, though it would be almost a decade later until I started to actually read about it, and only small amounts at that... But it helped a little, got my mind off of things... I will say that reading a few books on Buddhism helped me a great deal, and, it turned out "Get over it.", while poorly worded, and practically uninformative without throwing in a lot more stuff, was kind of the advice I needed, not necessarily advice that would be helpful to others.

The point at which my life really began to change was when I got my hands on a copy of the Illuminatus Trilogy (not that I'm advising anyone on Y/A read it)... Read it once, tossed it down, and moved right on to the blue cliff record, but it had me think about a few things and stop beating myself up over so much crap.

EDIT EDIT: And keep in mind, I'm not in this forum to advise anyone on anything, you guys seem pretty capable of handling problems yourselves. Simply here for the entertaining conversation, as well as input and criticism... Were anyone to ask, I'd be happy to try to help, but I highly doubt that will be an issue, much less that anyone here would want my help... I don't want this turned around against me, I've tried to word it the best I can.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: July 01, 2010, 12:49:19 am »
I'm working my way up there, I've been sidetracked by the mental health section... It will likely take a while. Not a lot of trolls I've seen so far in the health sections, with good reason, I'd imagine... But, I see some of these questions and I'm like "This is a job for SUPER DUMBASS!" and proceed to charge in there with my hackneyed idealism, attempting to summon elves and fairies along the way.

EDIT: "He's going to hurt himself, and when he does, I won't help him."

Fucking patchwork quilts.

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: June 30, 2010, 11:16:24 pm »
*casts "magic missile"*

Or Kill Me / Re: Total Madness
« on: June 30, 2010, 11:10:23 pm »
I've tested it in many places, and it seems to work, for the most part, barring my occasional emotional outbursts.

Need something bigger. I'm not necessarily going to succeed entirely, or even to any measurable extent, but I need more info. The very fact that the place itself encourages trolling will provide valuable feedback over time.

Eventually, though, I'll get bored with it and move on to something else.

I never claimed to be a master, or even student... Much less to know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm simply trying to shed some light on some observations I've made, which are probably utter horseshit.

Still, I don't see a problem with my reasoning (or lack thereof).

The words on wikipedia, or anywhere else, however, can never truly express the deliciousness (or possible revolting horror) possessed by a bowl of vindaloo, nor can one's memory properly bring back the experience in it's entirety. Memories fade, and words do no justice. You may come very close, but the moment is the only element that truly captures the essence.

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