This is awesome :lulz:
http://www2.wkrg.com/news/2011/sep/22/serve-time-jailor-church-ar-2450720/
QuoteBAY MINETTE, Alabama --
Non-violent offenders in Bay Minette now have a choice some would call simple: do time behind bars or work off the sentence in church.
Operation Restore Our Community or "ROC"...begins next week. The city judge will either let misdemenor offenders work off their sentences in jail and pay a fine or go to church every Sunday for a year.
If offenders elect church, they're allowed to pick the place of worship, but must check in weekly with the pastor and the police department. If the one-year church attendance program is completed successfully, the offender's case will be dismissed.
The program is constitutional, because the offenders aren't forced to go to church, and they choose the church. They have a choice between going to jail, paying a fine, and having a criminal record, or remaining free except for one hour every Sunday and having no criminal record.
PMZ,
needs to open a combination church/sports bar in Bay Minette with video poker machines and a two-drink minimum during the Sunday service, which consists of watching football on big screen TVs.
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on September 27, 2011, 10:32:13 PM
This is awesome :lulz:
http://www2.wkrg.com/news/2011/sep/22/serve-time-jailor-church-ar-2450720/
QuoteBAY MINETTE, Alabama --
Non-violent offenders in Bay Minette now have a choice some would call simple: do time behind bars or work off the sentence in church.
Operation Restore Our Community or "ROC"...begins next week. The city judge will either let misdemenor offenders work off their sentences in jail and pay a fine or go to church every Sunday for a year.
If offenders elect church, they're allowed to pick the place of worship, but must check in weekly with the pastor and the police department. If the one-year church attendance program is completed successfully, the offender's case will be dismissed.
The program is constitutional, because the offenders aren't forced to go to church, and they choose the church. They have a choice between going to jail, paying a fine, and having a criminal record, or remaining free except for one hour every Sunday and having no criminal record.
PMZ,
needs to open a combination church/sports bar in Bay Minette with video poker machines and a two-drink minimum during the Sunday service, which consists of watching football on big screen TVs.
Get a ULC certificate and open up a Temple to Dionysus. :lulz:
This is the reason that there are Discordians. We need to get a church registered in Alabama!
"Oh yeah, your honor. He was here all day. got nice and filled up with the spirit he did."
Quote from: Cramulus on September 27, 2011, 10:39:45 PM
This is the reason that there are Discordians. We need to get a church registered in Alabama!
Do we have any Alabamians on the board? I looked up Bay Minette and it's about 45 minutes north of Gulf Shores, so it has that going for it.
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 27, 2011, 10:40:05 PM
"Oh yeah, your honor. He was here all day. got nice and filled up with the spirit he did."
Some might worry about the fact that their bar's clientele consists mainly of convicted criminals, but I say that they know if they were to skip out on their tab, then I will tell the judge they didn't show.
While I understand the hilarity, what exactly is the (hypothetical) goal here?
1. Set up a Discordian Church in Alabama
2. Receive criminals for 1h per week on a sunday
3. ????
4. :lulz:
Quote from: Triple Zero on September 27, 2011, 11:37:20 PM
While I understand the hilarity, what exactly is the (hypothetical) goal here?
1. Set up a Discordian Church in Alabama
2. Receive criminals for 1h per week on a sunday
3. ????
4. :lulz:
Why, to provide a place for people to go who both don't want to go to jail or go to a boring old Christian church where they will try and make you repent of your sins.
Quote from: Triple Zero on September 27, 2011, 11:37:20 PM
While I understand the hilarity, what exactly is the (hypothetical) goal here?
1. Set up a Discordian Church in Alabama
2. Receive criminals for 1h per week on a sunday
3. ????
4. :lulz:
Assuming the drinks aren't free, I think there's some pretty decent potential for
PROFIT lots of donations to the church coffers there.
The thing is this whole church over jail idea would totally work! Non-violent criminals who get sent to jail are more likely to leave jail as violent criminals. Send them elsewhere and they just might end up being "normal".
Well we can't have that, can we? Damn normalcy. They have to serve their time somewhere and get messed up by the experience, right? What better place than our alcohol-filled-church-bar? That way we still preserve the sacred life-style of being a non-violent criminal, being a thing generally supported by Operation Mindfuck. In fact, we can just funnel the criminals directly into that section of the forum.
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:20:38 AM
The thing is this whole church over jail idea would totally work! Non-violent criminals who get sent to jail are more likely to leave jail as violent criminals. Send them elsewhere and they just might end up being "normal".
Well we can't have that, can we? Damn normalcy. They have to serve their time somewhere and get messed up by the experience, right? What better place than our alcohol-filled-church-bar? That way we still preserve the sacred life-style of being a non-violent criminal, being a thing generally supported by Operation Mindfuck. In fact, we can just funnel the criminals directly into that section of the forum.
What's got your panties in a bunch?
Quote from: Fuck You One-Eye on September 27, 2011, 11:47:52 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on September 27, 2011, 11:37:20 PM
While I understand the hilarity, what exactly is the (hypothetical) goal here?
1. Set up a Discordian Church in Alabama
2. Receive criminals for 1h per week on a sunday
3. ????
4. :lulz:
Assuming the drinks aren't free, I think there's some pretty decent potential for PROFIT lots of donations to the church coffers there.
Exactly, and this is not a pitcher of beer and a platter of chicken nachos -- it's the blood and body of Christ, shed and broken for you.
Quote from: Precious Moments Zalgo on September 27, 2011, 11:00:52 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on September 27, 2011, 10:39:45 PM
This is the reason that there are Discordians. We need to get a church registered in Alabama!
Do we have any Alabamians on the board? I looked up Bay Minette and it's about 45 minutes north of Gulf Shores, so it has that going for it.
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 27, 2011, 10:40:05 PM
"Oh yeah, your honor. He was here all day. got nice and filled up with the spirit he did."
Some might worry about the fact that their bar's clientele consists mainly of convicted criminals, but I say that they know if they were to skip out on their tab, then I will tell the judge they didn't show.
I'm from Alabama, although I currently live in the Birmingham area. If navcat's still in Mobile, she'd be closer.
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
He's only human and only has so much blood to go around sir. He needs to keep some of it so he can regenerate and serve up some more next Sunday.
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 12:41:29 AM
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
He's only human and only has so much blood to go around sir. He needs to keep some of it so he can regenerate and serve up some more next Sunday.
CHRIST WAS NOT HUMAN!
god damn Irish heathens, don't even know that he was from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
Quote from: Disco Pickle on September 28, 2011, 01:53:15 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 12:41:29 AM
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
He's only human and only has so much blood to go around sir. He needs to keep some of it so he can regenerate and serve up some more next Sunday.
CHRIST WAS NOT HUMAN!
god damn Irish heathens, don't even know that he was from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
We know. Who do you think sent him here as an advance scout? Got himself nice and killed there in the desert. That's why we landed our colony ships on the Aran Islands instead of in Judea.
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 03:47:49 AM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on September 28, 2011, 01:53:15 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 12:41:29 AM
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
He's only human and only has so much blood to go around sir. He needs to keep some of it so he can regenerate and serve up some more next Sunday.
CHRIST WAS NOT HUMAN!
god damn Irish heathens, don't even know that he was from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
We know. Who do you think sent him here as an advance scout? Got himself nice and killed there in the desert. That's why we landed our colony ships on the Aran Islands instead of in Judea.
You're both wrong, He's an Aeon from the Pleuroma, and you all have been worshiping the damned Demiurge for the past 2500 years.
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on September 28, 2011, 05:34:10 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 03:47:49 AM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on September 28, 2011, 01:53:15 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on September 28, 2011, 12:41:29 AM
Quote from: memy on September 28, 2011, 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on September 28, 2011, 12:25:00 AM
What's got your panties in a bunch?
That people expect me to not wear panties. I'm a dude, it's considered unsightly. So this "normalcy" character won't let me bunch up my panties. It's an all-around unpleasant experience. But then if I were allowed to wear panties, I'd be satisfied and there would be no need for bunching.
It's like a catch-22 for women's underthings, if you catch my drifty-drafty boxers. But that's for another, more private discussion.
I would definitely go to a church where they charged for drinks, assuming the drink is substantially larger than the thimble they insist on serving the blood of Christ in.
He's only human and only has so much blood to go around sir. He needs to keep some of it so he can regenerate and serve up some more next Sunday.
CHRIST WAS NOT HUMAN!
god damn Irish heathens, don't even know that he was from somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
We know. Who do you think sent him here as an advance scout? Got himself nice and killed there in the desert. That's why we landed our colony ships on the Aran Islands instead of in Judea.
You're both wrong, He's an Aeon from the Pleuroma, and you all have been worshiping the damned Demiurge for the past 2500 years.
damn, those 2 and a half millennia have flown by like a motherfucker! I didn't know I was that old!
Quote from: ϗ, M.S. on September 28, 2011, 05:34:10 AM
You're both wrong, He's an Aeon from the Pleuroma, and you all have been worshiping the damned Demiurge for the past 2500 years.
:spittake:
:D
I am quite curious as to their definition of church. It seems that Muslims (who have services on Friday) and Jews and Seventh Day adventists(who have services on Saturday) are excluded. The church of Nascar(Dale Earnhart died for your sins y'all) though seems to be acceptable
Muslims, Jews and 7th Day Adventists share this one factor: the NIGHT before a holy day is considered PART of that holy day. So for Adventists, they really "worship" from sundown to sundown--Friday to Saturday. Jews, same thing (is what Shabbas is...).
Muslims seem to do EVERYFUCKINGTHING by lunar calendar.
Quote from: Jenne on September 28, 2011, 09:51:01 PM
Muslims, Jews and 7th Day Adventists share this one factor: the NIGHT before a holy day is considered PART of that holy day. So for Adventists, they really "worship" from sundown to sundown--Friday to Saturday. Jews, same thing (is what Shabbas is...).
Muslims seem to do EVERYFUCKINGTHING by lunar calendar.
Yep, a sizeable portion of pagans too.
I'm pretty sure services are still held during the day for the most part though.
Actually Wiccans or other groups that don't hold their services on a weekly basis become even more problematic for this scheme.
Assuming that the convicts are allowed to attend the participating religious service of their choice (and the church apparently has to agree to participate, so it's not totally unrestricted choice on the part of the convict) I approve of this for the simple reason that it's corrective rather than punitive... connecting a petty criminal with a supportive community will probably do more to prevent recidivism than locking them up to punish them.
Quote from: Jenne on September 28, 2011, 09:51:01 PM
Muslims, Jews and 7th Day Adventists share this one factor: the NIGHT before a holy day is considered PART of that holy day. So for Adventists, they really "worship" from sundown to sundown--Friday to Saturday. Jews, same thing (is what Shabbas is...).
Muslims seem to do EVERYFUCKINGTHING by lunar calendar.
Speaking of which, I'm baking a honey cake right now for Rosh Hashanah dinner. :)
Quote from: Nigel on September 29, 2011, 01:34:39 AM
Speaking of which, I'm baking a honey cake right now for Rosh Hashanah dinner. :)
I actually plan to heat up some syrup soaked pancakes with a side of special hashbrowns for Hash Roshanah tonight. Is that a Kosher substitute?
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on September 28, 2011, 09:46:08 PM
I am quite curious as to their definition of church. It seems that Muslims (who have services on Friday) and Jews and Seventh Day adventists(who have services on Saturday) are excluded. The church of Nascar(Dale Earnhart died for your sins y'all) though seems to be acceptable
The article says there aren't any mosques or synagogues in Bay Minette.
Quote from: memy on September 29, 2011, 01:44:17 AM
Quote from: Nigel on September 29, 2011, 01:34:39 AM
Speaking of which, I'm baking a honey cake right now for Rosh Hashanah dinner. :)
I actually plan to heat up some syrup soaked pancakes with a side of special hashbrowns for Hash Roshanah tonight. Is that a Kosher substitute?
:lulz: If there's any honey in it, then I think it's close enough. As far as I know; I'm not Jewish. My best friend is.
Quote from: Nigel on September 29, 2011, 01:33:53 AM
Assuming that the convicts are allowed to attend the participating religious service of their choice (and the church apparently has to agree to participate, so it's not totally unrestricted choice on the part of the convict) I approve of this for the simple reason that it's corrective rather than punitive... connecting a petty criminal with a supportive community will probably do more to prevent recidivism than locking them up to punish them.
I choose to think in this vein, too. If only because, while my dad was in the clink, it helped him form ties with the guys in there that were linked to religion. They were more apt to get along and be productive. Kept a lot of despair and anger at bay. I think religion can help foster purpose...and the church schema might be one that's closer to "real life" for a lot of them.
So Alabama is bringing in it's own version of indulgences? Way to totally miss the century you live in.
Pretty sure 'Bama WISHES it was still the early times...that way their current "worldview" would be supported and they wouldn't have "issues" like getting immigration "reform" through, etc.
Assholes.