Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on June 30, 2018, 10:57:28 PM

Title: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 30, 2018, 10:57:28 PM
You have your Discordia, and I have my Discordia.  My Discordia is driven by the urge to see maximized human potential.  I don't expect or want perfection, but I DO think we can do better than kiddie gulags, casual racism that isn't so casual anymore, and an abandoned space program.  Humans were meant to do grotesque things, and we have settled for the banal.  I think that has to change, and that's why I am a Discordian.  This dissatisfaction with humans that are content to be humans is an irritant to most people I run into.  That's okay, your approval is not my concern.

What IS my concern is that things should be BETTER FASTER SEXIER MORE OVER THE TOP.  Widescreen and loud as hell.

I am a funhouse mirror.  You look at me, you see yourself, only far more manic, more into it, and maybe with a beard that you haven't got.  My beard is strictly there to protect YOU, the citizen, from my dangerous levels of GUAPO.  You should take a moment to thank it; it is all that stands between you and DEATH BY SEXY.  It's also worth mentioning that your reflection is doing the safety dance while you yourself are standing there with a briefcase and a latte, wondering how you are going to finish your insane workload before deadline.

BE THE DEADLINE.  BE what John Q Public lives in dread of (finished that with a preposition, DARE ME TO DRIVE?).  Be the vague, formless terror in the breakroom.  Humans really can't function without that, and there just ISN'T ENOUGH TO GO AROUND without YOUR help.  I am MIGHTY, but even I can't DO IT ALONE.

I am a dataist.  I am a mad scientist.  I am laughing maniacally while the world saves me the trouble by DESTROYING ITSELF.  I'm gonna go ON RECORD, though, as saying MY apocalypse is WAY cooler than this one...You are pensively waiting to be drowned by the rising ocean; MY apocalypse has REALLY FUCKING BIG GIANT SQUID coming in with the remorsely advancing tide.  Your apocalypse has financial collapse; mine has ARMIES OF RADIOACTIVE GORILLAS.  Your apocalypse is the banal failure of the machine; mine is of BIG GODDAMN NEON SIGNS saying "THESE SYSTEMS ARE FAILING."

Pick your poison.  Ignominious extinction, or FIGHTING NESSIES IN THE SEWERS.

Stop that shit.  Put that briefcase down.  EXPLAIN YOURSELF.  HOW, in this day and age, are you not ON FIRE?  Why are you not THROWING YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND HOWLING?  The world is your Pripyat Amusement Park.  GET ON THE FUCKING RIDE, OR KILL ME RIGHT IN THE FACE.

I mean, seriously.  Just look at You People.




Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:11:29 AM
I am a stoic discordian...
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 01, 2018, 12:18:30 AM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:11:29 AM
I am a stoic discordian...

"When the rock hits you, holler."
- The Book of the Subgenius
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 01, 2018, 12:24:08 AM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

You're gonna go far, kid.
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:26:33 AM
*nods, i know, i am a goddess after all. :D
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:34:12 AM
I think we should convert everyone to Capeditieanism. *nods, because with out it, the world is how it is. :O but with it we would have flying cars, cyborgs, cat orchestras, more trees, and of course aliens would come and visit us finally. :D

:O my goddess the Capeditiean Cult is starting to become one of those evil cults... :O where we end up drinking cool-aid because the government has found us out... :O no don't restart the Capeditiean Cult Capeditiea... because that would be horrifying, especially in the state this world is in. :O

*turns evil.
HAHAHAHAHA now you are all in my clutches, where we can all be amazing and start raiding peoples fridges, taking out their favourite pastas, and doing jumping jacks on their beds. *maniacal laughter ensues for about five minutes.

*turns good.
What just happened? :O why are you all looking at me like that? :O
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 01, 2018, 12:39:18 AM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:34:12 AM
I think we should convert everyone to Capeditieanism. *nods, because with out it, the world is how it is. :O but with it we would have flying cars, cyborgs, cat orchestras, more trees, and of course aliens would come and visit us finally. :D

:O my goddess the Capeditiean Cult is starting to become one of those evil cults... :O where we end up drinking cool-aid because the government has found us out... :O no don't restart the Capeditiean Cult Capeditiea... because that would be horrifying, especially in the state this world is in. :O

*turns evil.
HAHAHAHAHA now you are all in my clutches, where we can all be amazing and start raiding peoples fridges, taking out their favourite pastas, and doing jumping jacks on their beds. *maniacal laughter ensues for about five minutes.

*turns good.
What just happened? :O why are you all looking at me like that? :O

:regret:
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:52:02 AM
*nods, thank you Dok. :D

:bob:  :potd:
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on July 01, 2018, 05:30:05 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 30, 2018, 10:57:28 PM
You have your Discordia, and I have my Discordia.  My Discordia is driven by the urge to see maximized human potential.  I don't expect or want perfection, but I DO think we can do better than kiddie gulags, casual racism that isn't so casual anymore, and an abandoned space program.  Humans were meant to do grotesque things, and we have settled for the banal.  I think that has to change, and that's why I am a Discordian.  This dissatisfaction with humans that are content to be humans is an irritant to most people I run into.  That's okay, your approval is not my concern.

What IS my concern is that things should be BETTER FASTER SEXIER MORE OVER THE TOP.  Widescreen and loud as hell.

I am a funhouse mirror.  You look at me, you see yourself, only far more manic, more into it, and maybe with a beard that you haven't got.  My beard is strictly there to protect YOU, the citizen, from my dangerous levels of GUAPO.  You should take a moment to thank it; it is all that stands between you and DEATH BY SEXY.  It's also worth mentioning that your reflection is doing the safety dance while you yourself are standing there with a briefcase and a latte, wondering how you are going to finish your insane workload before deadline.

BE THE DEADLINE.  BE what John Q Public lives in dread of (finished that with a preposition, DARE ME TO DRIVE?).  Be the vague, formless terror in the breakroom.  Humans really can't function without that, and there just ISN'T ENOUGH TO GO AROUND without YOUR help.  I am MIGHTY, but even I can't DO IT ALONE.

I am a dataist.  I am a mad scientist.  I am laughing maniacally while the world saves me the trouble by DESTROYING ITSELF.  I'm gonna go ON RECORD, though, as saying MY apocalypse is WAY cooler than this one...You are pensively waiting to be drowned by the rising ocean; MY apocalypse has REALLY FUCKING BIG GIANT SQUID coming in with the remorsely advancing tide.  Your apocalypse has financial collapse; mine has ARMIES OF RADIOACTIVE GORILLAS.  Your apocalypse is the banal failure of the machine; mine is of BIG GODDAMN NEON SIGNS saying "THESE SYSTEMS ARE FAILING."

Pick your poison.  Ignominious extinction, or FIGHTING NESSIES IN THE SEWERS.

Stop that shit.  Put that briefcase down.  EXPLAIN YOURSELF.  HOW, in this day and age, are you not ON FIRE?  Why are you not THROWING YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND HOWLING?  The world is your Pripyat Amusement Park.  GET ON THE FUCKING RIDE, OR KILL ME RIGHT IN THE FACE.

I mean, seriously.  Just look at You People.

:mittens:

I think a lot of people have been quenched for so long they don't know that being ON FIRE is possible.

Light 'em up Dok.
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Con-troll on July 01, 2018, 05:48:13 AM
Oh dear, I'd love to be more over the top. I'd fucking adore not to be what everyone seems to tell me to be, and create my completely different perspective for what it means to be "a being". But this world just drains it out of me, everything profound I ever come up with either fizzles out, or integrates itself into the machine hurting me.

Kinda kills the motivation, doesn't it? It feels like everyone has creative ideas, for goddess sake we start out as children, but in a world where everything you say or do can, and will be used against you there's a pretty powerful urge to just to cuddle into the corner and... Oh wait the corner has spikes all over it to prevent slacking off, better get back to work.

What I'm trying to say, is that these days of endless infernal screaming I'm not even sure I should do better. Maybe better is just false ideal to lure me into cage with no windows and only my own appendages for food.

But then again, what good would moping in that corner ever do to me. Things can't get worse  if you're stationary. DAMN YOU 4TH DIMENSION
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 05:58:32 PM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

I feel as if a quote from the late great Nenslo is in order here:

Quote"normal people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and
jerked around. It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier. It
does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the
normals just because you are an asshole. They are the ones who keep
everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts
and show them to each other. THEY are not the target audience for that
sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you
insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of normals they will
suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more."
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 06:00:27 PM
Quote from: Con-troll on July 01, 2018, 05:48:13 AM
Oh dear, I'd love to be more over the top. I'd fucking adore not to be what everyone seems to tell me to be, and create my completely different perspective for what it means to be "a being". But this world just drains it out of me, everything profound I ever come up with either fizzles out, or integrates itself into the machine hurting me.

Kinda kills the motivation, doesn't it? It feels like everyone has creative ideas, for goddess sake we start out as children, but in a world where everything you say or do can, and will be used against you there's a pretty powerful urge to just to cuddle into the corner and... Oh wait the corner has spikes all over it to prevent slacking off, better get back to work.

What I'm trying to say, is that these days of endless infernal screaming I'm not even sure I should do better. Maybe better is just false ideal to lure me into cage with no windows and only my own appendages for food.

But then again, what good would moping in that corner ever do to me. Things can't get worse  if you're stationary. DAMN YOU 4TH DIMENSION

The only means by which to defeat the monkey is to be a bigger monkey.

For further guidance, please consult the song "The Winner" by Bobby Bare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRWlnv0_svU
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 05, 2018, 12:10:45 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 05:58:32 PM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

I feel as if a quote from the late great Nenslo is in order here:

Quote"normal people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and
jerked around. It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier. It
does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the
normals just because you are an asshole. They are the ones who keep
everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts
and show them to each other. THEY are not the target audience for that
sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you
insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of normals they will
suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more."

I am confused. Which is normal. :3
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 06, 2018, 09:50:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 05:58:32 PM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

I feel as if a quote from the late great Nenslo is in order here:

Quote"normal people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and
jerked around. It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier. It
does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the
normals just because you are an asshole. They are the ones who keep
everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts
and show them to each other. THEY are not the target audience for that
sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you
insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of normals they will
suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more."

Is Nenslo another one of yours? I have this quote attributed to TGRR in Holy Nonsense
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 06, 2018, 10:27:46 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 06, 2018, 09:50:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 05:58:32 PM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

I feel as if a quote from the late great Nenslo is in order here:

Quote"normal people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and
jerked around. It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier. It
does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the
normals just because you are an asshole. They are the ones who keep
everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts
and show them to each other. THEY are not the target audience for that
sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you
insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of normals they will
suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more."

Is Nenslo another one of yours? I have this quote attributed to TGRR in Holy Nonsense

That is incorrect.  Nenslo is someone else entirely.  The quote comes from a usenet conversation from 1998, and I am unsure which of us actually said that; I think it was him.  If you have to revise, attribute to "Orton Nenslo".
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Capeditiea on July 06, 2018, 10:32:24 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 06, 2018, 10:27:46 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 06, 2018, 09:50:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 03, 2018, 05:58:32 PM
Quote from: Capeditiea on July 01, 2018, 12:22:42 AM
:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:O how did you know i was recently banned from TalkClassical.com ...which infact was because i was apparently trolling... :O i wasn't intending to...

sigh, being a discordian is so hard in the world suffering from the curse of greyface...

i was only able to perform the turkey curse a few times... :D but i have planted some apple seeds there... :D and they will soon be eaten by Cthulhu. :D

but however... :O how did you know i was all freaking out inside my mind? :O

are you psychic?

I feel as if a quote from the late great Nenslo is in order here:

Quote"normal people DON'T LIKE being agitated, disturbed, fucked with and
jerked around. It does NOT improve their lives or make them happier. It
does NOT make the world a better place to screw things up for the
normals just because you are an asshole. They are the ones who keep
everything running so we can loaf around and think of fucked up concepts
and show them to each other. THEY are not the target audience for that
sort of thing, THEY are not capable of appreciating it, and if you
insist on thrusting fucked up concepts in the faces of normals they will
suddenly and shockingly change things so you can't do it any more."

Is Nenslo another one of yours? I have this quote attributed to TGRR in Holy Nonsense

That is incorrect.  Nenslo is someone else entirely.  The quote comes from a usenet conversation from 1998, and I am unsure which of us actually said that; I think it was him.  If you have to revise, attribute to "Orton Nenslo".


1998 was the year i seen my first porn pop up. :D
Title: Re: My Discordia Brag part 1: I am just your reflection
Post by: Ziegejunge on July 10, 2018, 11:30:56 PM
That Nenslo quote had a home on my guest room wall for a year or two until recently when my wife bought a bookshelf/desk combo that covered that wall. I may have to find a new home for it one of these days.