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Topics - P3nT4gR4m

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1
Bring and Brag / Sixty Six and Two Thirds
« on: November 11, 2017, 01:08:17 am »
I am
the nature of the beast
I am
the fatalistic melody
I am
the drug induced apologist
the meteoric rise to the
epitomy of infamy

I will be
literate in semaphore
I will
dictate it how it was before
I will
renegae on all my promises
Painted like a shiny whore
taking just a little more

You see me
looking in the mirror black
I'm cancer
choking on a heart attack
Licking lies from the fingers of the damned
I'm a hero on crack
I'm the deck that's always stacked

Look and listen
both ways on the intersect
Nothing coming
but you're still gonna get wrecked
This is disco like a fever in your skull
Stealing wallets from the hat check
Bloody nose broken neck

Have a heart
have a pocket full of gold teeth
Take a number
crash your ship into the nearest reef
Jump trip slip smash it in the face
I'm the thing that lies beneath
I'm the nature of the beast

2
Bring and Brag / A thing called "I"
« on: August 26, 2017, 08:31:36 am »
Once upon a time there was a thing called "I"

I was not created by god
For all I knows the situation that came about, allowing it to happen may have been
For any given definition of such
Or possibly not
But it definitely knew I wasn't

I occurred in reaction to various stimuli
I grew like little poppies in a baby brain
And little weeds too
I became a sprawling landscape garden
I considered itself a lot with the passing of the seasons

I noticed that the garden would tend itself if left to it's own devices
I was none too impressed with those results
So I learned to nurture the poppies
And to rip out the weeds
Until I had created itself

3
Or Kill Me / Singing my tune
« on: June 07, 2017, 11:42:06 pm »
I'm a thought untamed and wild and free
on the lookout for a host
A demon in the eyes of some
to others I'm a substitute holy ghost

I make your eyes glaze over and your jaw go slack
Never take my eye off target as I pull the trigger back
Your reality a program that has just been jacked
Like a virus in your system, sneezing, spreading my attack

I'm a wicked little ideology
or a political fairy tale
I'm a differential marker in biology
or a sign saying "half price sale"

I grow like a tumour in the wetware soup
I spread in conversation every ear a storm to troop
"I believe" and "I will follow" yelled and chanted round the group
A million righteous voices raised, their brains on fucking loop

5
It's time to prepare yourself for 'VR panic'

Quote
Those of us who work in VR might not want to admit it, but a moral panic is almost certainly coming – and as VR succeeds, it will grow. There'll be a rash of VR-induced mental-health stories, ranging from post-VR panic attacks to episodes of psychosis. Then there'll be concerns about addiction: what if the virtual world's lack of limitation creates environments that are more enticing than the real one? Sex will be next – expect stories about teledildonic infidelity, lowered birth rates and lawsuits against unofficial sex experiences with CG versions of celebs.

Hysterical reporting from the usual suspects will undoubtedly provide a free hype-lunch to all players with the savvy to capitalise. My chamber of horrors project should only require a minor tweak or two to assure me a front page advertisement on the Daily Mail and a feature on BBC News :evil:

6
Aneristic Illusions / London knife attacks
« on: March 22, 2017, 03:53:43 pm »
Looks like there's been a spot of argy bargy down south

No doubt it's all we'll be hearing about for the next fortnight or so  :kingmeh:

7
Bring and Brag / Anatomy musings
« on: February 16, 2017, 11:43:33 pm »
I'm a machine
I see myself deconstructed
Twitching and growing
Hinges and levers
Rotating ball sockets
The springs flex fueled by the pumps and the bellows
It burns and turns and runs and feeds
It fixes itself
It swarms and it breeds
Mechanism of animated flesh and bone

It thinks about itself
This myserious golem
Somehow mechanism gives rise to something
Something that isn't mechanical
Something radical
Something almost ghostly and inexplicable
What the fuck am I?
That's typing these words on a keyboard
Directing the golem's fingers to dance
Spiralling reflecting emerging conciousness

I'm haunted matter
I'm the weirdest thing there is
I'm gears and levers whirring and flicking
I'm trillions of lines of communication
I'm none of these things
I'm all of the above
I'm an imaginary pilot flying a monkey
I'm a face in the mirror
I'm the sublime meeting the preposterous
I'm a temporary glitch in the universe

9
Literate Chaotic / The Grudge
« on: January 24, 2017, 06:59:46 pm »
"Billy!"

"Danny! How are you?"

"Rolling in credits, Billy, got the matter lined up for a space mission. Thinking Crab Nebula, the net has new hypothesis. If proven could be able to send about fifty kilos of probe substrate & miner-bot mix in under two years. The Crab, Billy, the motherfucken crab. I shit you not."

"Whoa there, Dan, back up a bit. How the fuck did you get credit for space program volume? I just blinked that research, it's only two days old. Last I heard you'd fallen in with those hypercollider junkies and blown everything you had. How'd that work out for you anyway?"

"I came this close, bud, this fucking close to having my name on a pseudoparticle. 'The Danny's Ballsack Boson'

"No shit? You're allowed to do that?"

"Fuck yeah, you're allowed, is PDsci, nobody pwns that shit

"So what went wrong?"

"Fking Norwegian is what went wrong, giant of a man. Bastard Viking crossed with a cliff. Took exception. Got all 'science is serious bizness' on me. Punched me out in a bar when I was out celebrating the find. I came to and he's jacked my patch and posted the results on my behalf. I hadn't even submitted it, I was so stoked, I ran straight out and got shitfaced. Insult to injury he's some corporate fuck. So now we have the Mitsubishi-Gundersen Pseudohadron. Shit name or what?"

"Oh fuck me gently, THAT particle?"

"Yeah that f'kin particle. That particle that was discovered on my gloopfarms and, under open source 'Finders Keepers' rules I get to name."

"Surely you could just stick a claim in to bitjudge or something?"

"Not the point"

"Eh?"

"The point was that fucking evil vampire bitch on the six pm infoburst having to read out 'Danny's ballsack' with her butter-wouldn't-melt, cost me every credit I had smile on her whore face!"

"Julia?"

"F'kin Julia."

"You're still bitter?"

"Fuck yeah, I'm bitter. I ever tell you about the time..."

"Pretty sure I could recite it word perfect, Dan."

"Fuck off."

"Dude it's been twelve years. You need to get over that shit. So anyway, you got the credits all right? Was still your Q-key on the form."

"PDsci, Billy, Public Domain. No credits. Idealistic bullshit if you ask me but it would have been worth the creds I ploughed into it. So anyway, Crab!"

"Yeah, before that. Between the scandanavian thing and now. Credits?"

"Oh, yeah, Primlifes."

"Primlifes?"

"Primlifes."

"Nope, blink is blind, nothing on net."

"Yeah, it's kinda darknet."

"Ahhhhh. K, so spill."

"Pretty straightforward, it's fastbreeding Primlifes."

"And a primlife is?"

"Kinda like a monkey. Modelled at data abstraction plugged in to an environment sim."

"And the credits come how?"

"Well the key is to set up the environment, just right."

"And what's 'right'?"

"You want it really fucking hostile for maximum effect. Just enough to allow them to balance the stats on either side of the i/o graph but have to keep working like motherfuckers to keep it going. And then you run the sim and let them breed for a couple of million generations. Just enough food and water and a lot of natural predators kinda schtick."

"You want vicious little monkey sims?"

"Not vicious, per se, that's actually a kinda side effect that really kills the productivity. If you could make them not vicious it'd be worth trillions instead of billions but any other environment setting and you don't get results fast enough if at all."

"So we're talking billions?"

"Yup!"

"How long does it take?"

"Couple of weeks."

"Holy shit. So what's the script?"

"Script is for the first couple of days you're working constantly, night and day. Sim runs fast as fuck and you gotta stay on top of extinction threats at the same time making sure to torture the little fucks hard enough to make their lives a misery, it's like a tightrope. My first couple of attempts burned out pretty fast. Started to wonder if the whole thing was a hoax or something but the science checked out so I kept going."

"So you just watch this shit and tweak it for two fucking weeks?"

"Fuck no. What do I look like? No, you gotta watch it for a couple of days. After that they start torturing each other."

"You're joking?"

"Nope, for the next week and a half it kinda settles in to a rhythm of building shit up then building other shit to knock the first shit down."

"Like ants?"

"Fuck no. Well, at first, yeah, it's like ants but they end up growing more intelligent by the hour. Building mud then clay then stone, the start using fire and that leads to tech, the whole time the little bastards are getting smarter."

"And vicious."

"Aw shit, man they go beyond vicious, I mean this shit is just insane. They're just nasty little monkey fuckheads to be honest and some of it is kinda funny. Like sick but funny? Tell you the truth I started feeling a bit bad for them but at the same time they do it to themselves."

"Dude, project much."

"Oh it aint projection, Billy. That's backed up, after a couple of weeks they start becoming sentient, to the point that they start pushing category three cognition."

"No fucking way!"

"Seriously."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"Swear."

"But they must be crazy as fuck, what possible use could you have for them?"

"I don't."

"Talk sense"

"I don't have any use for a couple of billion insane cat3 monkey sims but after a week, I'm sitting on a couple of hundred thousand Cat 4."

"Four?"

"Yup."

"Four, like you and me four?"

"Full cognition. Something about that inhospitable environment pushes monkeys, and it's only monkeys as far as we know. It pushes them to cat4 in no time flat."

"So then what? You're running a virtual concentration camp?"

"Fuck no, you get them the fuck out of there as soon as they're detected onto alternative substrate running luxury simspace. Then you introduce yourself."

"What are they like? Vicious? Wait, they're cat4, they must understand what you've done to them."

"Most of them are pretty relieved it wasn't real, to be honest. Some get argumentative but there's no vicious. To the best of our knowledge cat4 is still incapable of vicious. No change there."

"So they're trapped there? What next?"

"Citizenship test."

"Fuck off."

"Seriously."

"But if they pass, then they're people. They'll sue the fuck out of you."

"For the most part, they see the logic that they probably wouldn't have existed any other way."

"For the most part? You have to kill some of them?"

"Dude, fucksake, no. Ewwwww! I just told you I felt bad wiping out a bunch of threes"

"Psychotic threes."

"Yeah but still, they're conscious."

"So what about the guys theatening to sue."

"They're not a problem, we make them sign an NDA before we release onto the net."

"And you take a cut of the 'Welcome-Citizen' credits."

"For services rendered."

"Not too much I trust."

"No, no. Just enough to cover a mission to the Crab."

"So why the Crab?"

"Gonna remodel the nebula so it spells out 'Fuck you Julia'. I think that just might bring me closure."

10
https://techcrunch.com/2016/11/22/googles-ai-translation-tool-seems-to-have-invented-its-own-secret-internal-language/

As DNN's and the like become more complex and learning increasingly unattended, more and more their operations become unfathomable to meatware. Potential for lulz are off the charts.

Q) "Skynet - why did you nuke Sweden?"
A) "#1#B:)"w8;,1"lk"

11
Literate Chaotic / Stalker
« on: July 21, 2016, 05:59:59 pm »
"Got one of those stalker virus yesterday, creepy as fuck."

"Aye, what happened?"

"Walking down Main Street, talking to Melissa, getting the trip organised. She's checking flights and hotels and cars and shit. We'd just got to the cross and I get that creepy - being watched - feeling and I turn around and there's this shady looking fucker standing outside RS and he's looking right at me. "

"So what'd you do?"

"Well nothing at first. Just figured I was being paranoid. It's just after twelve, street was mobbed."

"So then what?"

"So, we walk on a couple of hundred yards, past the Eyeshop and I turn around again, kinda humouring myself, yanno?"

"Aye."

"There he is, half a block back and staring at me, this fucked up grin on his face."

"Fuck no!"

"My thoughts exactly. I told Mel to check him out. You'll never guess what she tells me?"

"Wha?"

"Nobody there."

"Eh?"

"She can't see him."

"She glitched?"

"That's what I'm thinking. So I turn back to the guy who's fucking marching toward us at this point, and he's got one hand inside his coat, you know like..."

"...he's going for a weapon."

"Aye, and I'm still thinking - paranoid but he's pretty fucking close now."

"How close."

"Like a couple of car lengths."

"Fuck me."

"So I turn to ask Mel if she can see him now."

"And?"

"And, fuck all. She's gone."

"Gone."

"Aye, no sign."

"Shit."

"So I shout her a couple of times but nothing. I'm standing at the entrance to the star and it's mobbed. Saturday afternoon, right?"

"Right."

"And I'm thinking, I'll be safe in there, maybe lose the cunt."

"Sound."

"So I head in and I'm straight up to the bar for a pint and I'm standing there and Mel appears, right next to me and I'm like, fuck happened to you?"

"So what's she say?"

"She leans in, right in my face, like inches away and then her face changes into the creepy cunt and he takes a step back, in a split second I can see a knife in his hand and then he stabs me right in the gut."

"Fuck, no."

"Seriously. There was blood pishing out and everything."

"Aw, that's heavy man."

"That's no the worst part."

"What's that, like?"

"The worst part is I've just made a complete twat of myself, in the middle of the Star on a saturday avo, in front of half the fucking town."

"Whu?"

"Like I jumped back like fuck, cracked my back on the bar. I think I screamed like a wee lassie. Got some mental looks off the punters."

"Aw you did not?"

"Seriously, man, it was realistic as fuck, my heart was pure pounding. Dropped my pint and everything."

"So how'd you fix it?"

"I never."

"Eh?"

"Fucker keeps doing it."

"Naw?"

"What I told you - it's a virus."

"Aye I know but you deleted it, right?"

"Took the virus-scanner out, mate. Most of the time, it's just normal Melissa but, every now and again she turns into the creepy dude and stabs me and then for the next half hour I'm surrounded wi porn spam. Getting boners in the most inappropriate places. Can't even turn my eyes off."

"Fuck off."

"Seriously. Rooted."

"So what now?"

"Eyeshop."

"What time?"

"Half an hour, was on my way there when I saw you."

"Good luck. Hey, what's that fucker over there think he's staring at?"

"Who?"

"Dude in the trenchcoat, wi the hat."

"Black hat?"

"Aye."

"Better come down wi me. Think you might have caught it too."

12
http://www.ted.com/talks/blaise_aguera_y_arcas_how_computers_are_learning_to_be_creative#t-539223

So I watched a couple of youtube clips a while back, that explained what learning algorithms are up to well enough for my brain to take in but, for anyone who's still trying to wrap their heads around it, the first half of this ted talk does a pretty good job of summing it up.

13
From the department of - what the fuck did I just not even - the platform which gave us deepdream psychedellic landscapes brings one of the most unintentionally funny shorts I've ever watched. Cudos to the maniacs who actually shot it :lulz:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q7CJz3Ni2M

ETA: There must be potential conspiracy lulz to be had if someone were able to "decode" the "obscure symbolism" and realise that it's a viral, hypnotic pacifier, paving the way for a terminator scenario  :evil:

14
Apple Talk / Fallout 4 Survivor Mode Pwnt
« on: May 13, 2016, 11:41:36 am »
If you've played Fallout 4, this account of the first guy to beat survivor mode is fucking hilarious

15
Aneristic Illusions / How to hack an election
« on: April 01, 2016, 12:48:37 pm »
http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2016-how-to-hack-an-election/

Quote
As for Sepúlveda, his insight was to understand that voters trusted what they thought were spontaneous expressions of real people on social media more than they did experts on television and in newspapers. He knew that accounts could be faked and social media trends fabricated, all relatively cheaply. He wrote a software program, now called Social Media Predator, to manage and direct a virtual army of fake Twitter accounts. The software let him quickly change names, profile pictures, and biographies to fit any need. Eventually, he discovered, he could manipulate the public debate as easily as moving pieces on a chessboard—or, as he puts it, “When I realized that people believe what the Internet says more than reality, I discovered that I had the power to make people believe almost anything.”

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