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Once upon the time there was an alien species living on a planet not unlike ours. They were worried about pretty much same aspects of life as humans are: famine, war, sickness and the root of all this nonsense: Death. So they embarked on a journey to defeat their cruel master, forming a society producing brilliant scientists who one blow at the time killed the Death itself.

   But in their fear of Death these poor creatures overlooked even greater horror: fear of living. With no time limit, no ultimate deadline the phrase "I'll do it tomorrow" quickly evolved into "I'll do it next century" or "I'll do it next millenium". And so their society crumbled, and all the luxuries people living had gotten used to seized to exist making their lifes miserable again, but this time for eternity. Reintroducing dying wasn't a possibility, Death was dead for good and wouldn't bless their species ever again.

   Even still, something had to be done. So they introduced a system. Every child that was born was immortal, but wouldn't know it if they weren't told. So the rest of them found a purpose making this illusion more real, they would take voluntary cosmetic surgeries every few years to fake effects of aging and even change their whole appearance and move away, leaving behind only an obituary in local newspaper. And the system worked, of course most of the children found out eventually their eternal fate by accidents, suicide attempts living to 150 and other ways, but often not before truly living their life as ones running away from nonexistence tend to do.

  So I say this to humankind, do not seek the Eternal, it's not for your eyes. Seek for those tiny moments which make dying feel almost bearable. Oh fuck who am I kidding, just give me my life extension pill already (made of cyanide 50% of time), you have engineers working on fucking fidget spinners.
« Last post by Brother Mythos on Today at 01:50:01 pm »
Having finished the third of David Wong's John Dies At the End books & noting that that trilogy is a good candidate for a more modern equivalent to The Illuminatus Trilogy (having the same mix of heady psychological and philosophical ideas, crude humor, and genuine empathy), I acquired the one Robert Anton Wilson trilogy I haven't read yet (the Historical Illuminatus Chronicles). I just finished the first two books & need a break from immersion in that headspace, but I have to say that this series is almost as underrated as Masks of the Illuminati. Aside from the constant references to his other books, the first book feels more like a cross between Foucault's Pendulum and The Baroque Cycle than a normal RAW book; the second is a good follow-up but is a little more indulgent, with a lot of references to the P-2 conspiracy that RAW got obsessed with in the 80s and seemingly remained obsessed with through the turn of the century.

Also reading Scott Alexander's Unsong, which is simultaneously intellectually stimulating and hilarious. It can be read as a political and religious farce or as a satire about silicon valley or as a source of genuinely interesting kaballistic connections. The premise: Apollo astronauts trying to go to the moon instead collide with the celestial spheres, proving that medieval religious cosmology is literally true and causing reality to begin glitching out; fifty years later, the world is run by a handful of megacorporations dealing in the sale of DRM-protected names of god (magic spells based on hermetic associations) and political and economic life has been warped by the existence of literal hell, fallen angels who are confused about how time works and can't imagine anybody ever saying anything that wasn't absolutely true, and the archangel Uriel in the center of a permanent hurricane playing the frustrated sysadmin and trying to prevent people from boiling goats in their mother's milk lest he need to restore new zealand from backups again.
« Last post by Brother Mythos on Today at 12:03:37 am »
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« Last post by Rococo Modem Basilisk on Yesterday at 09:22:54 pm »
A vampire horror movie or novel using only unconvemtional vampire traits and no standard ones. ie. They sparkle in sunlight (Twlight), they live in hives (Priest), they feed not on blood itself but on the color red (Adventure Time), there's a thunderclap whenever they finish counting something (Sesame Street), but no garlic vulnerability, no lack of reflection, etc.
They glow in the dark, have only one nostril, their feet are on backwards, and they can only prey upon blood relations?

Where are those from?
Eastern europe, romani.

In china they leap like fleas. In malaysia their heads detatch and fly around but drag their whole digestive system along. But movies have been made about both of those variants. (There are only two movies I'm aware of about the variation where vampires prey only on blood relations -- the Werdelac segment of Black Sabbath & the romanian film Strigoi.)

There's also a variant that's a blood-sucking rotting banana person, which might also be malay but I'm not sure.

Plus there's always the vampire watermelons.
« Last post by Brother Mythos on Yesterday at 04:40:21 pm »
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« Last post by Emo Howard on Yesterday at 02:52:17 pm »
League of the South is having a "White Lives Matter" rally in the town square of my little town next Saturday. Locals are planning a peaceful demonstration at another location. The mayor and city council had a meeting yesterday with business owners on the square. They advised them to close their businesses for the day, and board up the windows.

This also happens to be my last day on the job at the grocery store gas station where I have worked for the last two years. It's about 3 miles away from the rally. So far all I can think of to do is to openly and loudly talk about "That Nazi party they havin over on da square, taday" with customers.

ETA: I should also possibly mention that one of the areas of town where residents self-identify as being "Da Hood" is two roads over from the square.
« Last post by Brother Mythos on October 20, 2017, 10:47:18 pm »
« Last post by Brother Mythos on October 20, 2017, 04:26:01 pm »
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« Last post by Brother Mythos on October 20, 2017, 04:00:31 am »
"Cub Scouts kick out 11-year-old boy after he asked Colorado Republican ‘hard’ questions"

An 11-year-old Cub Scout in Colorado has been kicked out of his den after he asked a local Republican lawmaker about controversial remarks she made about black people in 2013.

The Denver Post reports that 11-year-old Cub Scout Ames Mayfield asked Colorado state Sen. Vicki Marble about a past statement in which she seemed to suggest that black Americans had poor health because they ate a lot of barbecued chicken.

“I was astonished that you blamed black people for poor health and poverty because of all the chicken and barbecue they eat,” Ames said to Marble, who was visiting his den’s meeting.

In 2013, Marble remarked that “when you look at life expectancy, there are problems in the black race. Sickle-cell anemia is something that comes up. Diabetes is something that’s prevalent in the genetic makeup, and you just can’t help it,” and then added that, “I’ve got to say I’ve never had better barbecue and better chicken and ate better in my life than when you go down South and you, I mean, I love it.”

Here’s the link:
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