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Messages - P3nT4gR4m

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Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 15, 2020, 08:39:21 am »
What they NEED to do is Star Trek: Howl.

I wanna sign up.

My skills include fixing shit and hating engineers. And i do more or less anything for some good science.

And none of this "it's gonna take twelve hours to fix - i give you six - fine, i will do it in four" nonsense.
it will take twelve. maybe a little less if you shoot the engineer so i can work in peace.

The C in engineering stands for "Can Do".

But don't kill CNO.  He's the last engineer in existence that doesn't think he knows everything.

My ignorance transcends the limits of this universe.
In fact, I can't even begin to comprehend the extent of the things I don't know.
Worse yet, some of the things I think I know, are just plain wrong.  I'm not sure which ones, though.  That's what testing is for.

Words to fucking live by!

The loudest whining cunt voices on the internet tend to be the same pricks who will do what they they're told, no matter what, on account of they're completely fucking spineless. It's the gormless ones I'm more worried about. Well, okay, no worried about exactly. More like eagerly looking forward to seeing their depressed little maskless faces when they kill the fucking arseholes who spawned them. :evil:

Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED 2020 THREAD
« on: July 13, 2020, 03:06:54 pm »
Kanye would bring a touch of hilarity to the proceedings, sure but it's a pipedream at this point. He's never going to knock Trump off the throne. To be fair, it'll be much funnier when Trump gets a second term anyway. The left's histrionic reaction will easily be a thousand times more entertaining than if Kanye got the gig. :lulz:

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: July 06, 2020, 01:17:01 pm »
As someone afflicted by the odd episode of psychotic mania, the joker has always been a personal favourite of mine. Heath Ledger played it to a tee for me. There's an appeal to mania. It's like a drug, trying to suck you back in. I've spoken to people who hate it, not me, I fucking love it. I just can't indulge because shit does not end well down that road. So the Joker lets me live out the fantasy vicariously.

The latest one with Joaquin Phoenix was a fucking good looking movie and a great performance but, for me, it had fuck all to do with the Joker. Dude in the film wasn't a maniac. He was some sort of dissociative depressed person. Nothing against depressed people but for me it's like the choice between a getting wasted story and a hangover story. Like, I wanna see strippers and flashing blue lights and climbing up the side of a building for a dare, not some dude lying in bed complaining cos his head hurts for two hours and fifteen I didn't get my fix :argh!:

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: July 03, 2020, 08:50:22 am »
I asked only for their consideration. The Mgt has been absent for quite some time, and paeans to them rarely end in anything but blood and suffering, so I wasn’t actually expecting an IP.

Also, I’m homeless and I have a vast quantity of free time and nothing to fill it but Nazi pain. If I can make you hurt it will bring me a tiny moment of laughter, and I can think of few more worthy pursuits.

Sorry to hear that youre homeless, also sorry to hear that in less than 10 forum posts Ive already made you this assblasted.

This is going to end well.  I can sense it.

He worships whiny little bitch - joker. How could it not.

Apple Talk / Re: Choose your favorite oppressive power structure
« on: July 03, 2020, 08:37:49 am »
State power - Dull, bureaucratic and unsustainable
Corporate power - (Current) Really fucking easy to game
Religious power - Really fucking easy to game but it'd be a welcome change of pace so I'm voting for this

Bring and Brag / Re: P3nT's Shoops
« on: June 29, 2020, 09:54:07 pm »

Apple Talk / Re: Cameo Dot com
« on: June 27, 2020, 10:53:33 am »
We only got the first paragraph, but it was like the voice of an angel to my ears

If others want to buy the rest go for it

PD.COM bankrolls celebrity SWAP.avi in 3... 2... 1...  :evil:

Apple Talk / Re: I'm not here.
« on: June 26, 2020, 08:58:18 am »
One of the most important things I ever figured out was that the really real, genuine me, the self I was supposed to be true to, was in fact something I could pretty much invent with impunity. I decided to make one that wasn't such a fuckhead.

Apple Talk / Re: [OPEN ROLEPLAY] The Spinning Skull Inn & Tavern
« on: June 08, 2020, 09:16:24 pm »
I look around for something to party with. Barstools, tables, coat rack, the scimitar hanging behind the bar. All of these could serve the function of improvised implement of festivity, quite adequately. *Sits down and starts singing about belonging to Gleskae*

Apple Talk / Re: [OPEN ROLEPLAY] The Spinning Skull Inn & Tavern
« on: June 05, 2020, 04:40:41 pm »
Combat bonus: +6 if character has recently pished himself

you have to declare it: has he recently pished himself? how much urine can we smell right now?

Hard to tell if it's fresh or not, the reek of BO and poorly wiped arsehole tends to drown everything else out. He's been in the bar about a minute and a half now so we'll probably find out soon enough.

Apple Talk / Re: [OPEN ROLEPLAY] The Spinning Skull Inn & Tavern
« on: June 05, 2020, 07:00:46 am »
Suddenly the door to the tavern swings open so violently the hinges have to roll a saving throw, allowing the door to slam back shut in the face of the culprit. The stench of sour Buckfast and tinned haggis assaults the air with the intensity of a prison riot, stamping on a guard's ballsack.

"Alcohol! Now, or every cunt dies"

Character Name: Angus McFuckye
Alignment: Chaotic/Scottish

Strength: 17 +100 (Fighting Drunk)
Dexterity: 3
Constitution: unknown
Intelligence: -7
Wisdom: 1
Charisma: 0

Weapon: Enchanted Broken Pint Tumbler "Malkies Chibb" +4 to maim

Combat bonus: +6 if character has recently pished himself

Bring and Brag / Re: P3nT's Shoops
« on: June 03, 2020, 08:08:36 pm »
Got a brand new bag. Can you imagine how Baby Jesus would look with this stack at my disposal?

Tony Blair, you say?

I've always harboured a suspicion that the "pig" fucking thing was some kind of euphemism.

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