Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerTHERE IS NO CONSPIRACY!
Written in the spirit by The Good Reverend Roger.
Despite any rumors you may have heard, there is no conspiracy. Certainly not one formed by asshats and jackasses commonly known as Discordians and Subgenii. These groups are too silly and self-absorbed to do anything like attack the evils that beset our society by using The Machine's very own neuroprogramming techniques (which, of course, don't exist). Anyone who says differently should get themselves a tinfoil beanie.
Indeed, the very idea of some secret cabal of weirdos, freaks, and mutants out to topple the monolith that we used to call our government is ludicrous. Especially given their non-violent methodology. Everyone knows that revolutions only come with guns and near-mythical hero-figures, right? The notion that some nebulous group is out there subverting people with imagery and printed words designed to alter moods and behaviors is simply science fiction of the wildest, most escapist variety.
Even if there was, what could they possibly hope to accomplish? After all, life in America is perfect right now, isn't it? Things couldn't possibly be any better! Unless you've been outsourced, or were born poor, or have weird ideas about civil liberties...but then you really don't count, anyway.
So relax, citizens, ignore that feeling of the ground shifting beneath your feet, and discount any bizarre rumors you may have heard. America is secure, the economy is great, and you have tons of stuff to watch on teevee. And JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald both died natural deaths in 1963, and everything has been great since then, anyway. Just grab a beer, turn on American Idol, and...
GO BACK TO SLEEP!
Or Kill Me.
FUCKING DOUBLE STRENGTH BROWN MITTENS = YUO!!!!