Here I will post the more relevant bits of My Story (tm), for lack of a better place to spew it. I figured some background would help give the patrons of this forum some insight into why I am so morally ambiguous, clinically insane, and attracted to Discordian thought. And I'll let this serve as my introduction here, since the "introductions" thread appears to be anything but.
For starters, I was indoctrinated into the Christian church (protestant Lutheran) from birth. In a long-unopened drawer somewhere I even have a dusty VHS tape of my baptism. There I am, a two-week-old Shtik, clad in nothing but a rather saggy diaper, as a pastor guides me through a personally meaningful covenant with God. Every single Sunday and holiday for the first fourteen years of my life (a lifetime in terms of mental development) was spent in church. Of course I had my doubts about the ideas I was being bombarded with, but Lutherans in particular have the devilishly clever knack for encouraging doubt, so long as the resulting search for Truth leads you closer to God. And anyway, my dad was is a zealot, and every young boy knows that Dad's word is Truth, so I assumed that in my foolish youth, I was missing some important piece of the Reality Puzzle that would only come to me with age and experience.
So it was, until the ripe old age of fourteen, when I was whisked away from my father's intellectual shelter and into the juvenile corrections system (I didn't do it, I swear). After two weeks of hard time, it was my mother (she'd been out of the picture since age five) who plucked me out of that little mess to live with her. I soon came to realize that she was is a junkie, a completely different kind of batshit from my dad. I was pretty much free to do as I pleased, so long as it didn't cost more than a dollar and I didn't get in her way.
Thus I was presented with a reality which sharply contrasted everything I'd been brought up to know: from the suburbs to the city, from the middle class to the lower, from religious zealotry to the typical American apathetic Christianity. It didn't take long for me to see the blatant errorism in my dad's version of Reality, so I was left without any real sort of anchor. I somehow decided on my own that I'd need to painfully unlearn everything I'd learned thus far, and figure out for myself, using only logical analysis of personal experiences, the solutions to life's mysteries and humanity's problems. And even as I discovered that any search for hard answers was inherently futile, I kept up the game, mulling over every detail, because the only alternative seemed to be apathy and despair.
This is how I became Me. I would not be Me were if life hadn't brought me to this eventuality, and the intervening years in which I've painstakingly waded through the existential sewage of my addled mind have widened my perspective on just about everything and made me a stronger person all around. Becoming jaded and cynical just came with the territory. Anyway, Discordia seems to posit that the resulting confusion is, in fact, the whole point of the search, and instead of stressing over the futility of universal doubt, one can laugh at the absurdity of absolute certainty. Or maybe I've got it all wrong, but the intellectual exchange I've seen around here beats the piss out of any conversation I've found elsewhere, so I intend to stick around. Or kill me.
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
QuoteThis is how I became Me. I would not be Me were if life hadn't brought me to this eventuality, and the intervening years in which I've painstakingly waded through the existential sewage of my addled mind have widened my perspective on just about everything and made me a stronger person all around. Becoming jaded and cynical just came with the territory. Anyway, Discordia seems to posit that the resulting confusion is, in fact, the whole point of the search, and instead of stressing over the futility of universal doubt, one can laugh at the absurdity of absolute certainty. Or maybe I've got it all wrong, but the intellectual exchange I've seen around here beats the piss out of any conversation I've found elsewhere, so I intend to stick around. Or kill me.
Yeah, more or less. Depending on how much someone feels like arguing details.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
Hi. As a general rule, don't take anything I say seriously. That's what I tell my friends and we get along just fine. As far as the "clinically insane" remark goes, it was mostly sarcastic, except that based on what I've seen happen to some people, if I weren't so good at keeping my mouth shut and acting normal, I might well be in a rubber room now. I sure as hell aren't going to tell a shrink about it, so who the hell knows?
Quote from: Cainad on April 12, 2013, 05:05:31 PM
Yeah, more or less. Depending on how much someone feels like arguing details.
Of course there's a lot more to it than that, but that's the part I found most applicable to my own situation.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
I saw that bit and pretty much stopped reading. Then I said "meh", and read the rest of it. Fairly typical American experience. Not sure about the morally ambiguous part. That's never good.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 05:40:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
I saw that bit and pretty much stopped reading. Then I said "meh", and read the rest of it. Fairly typical American experience. Not sure about the morally ambiguous part. That's never good.
As for moral ambiguity, I don't take a
strong stance on anything unless I feel I have a strong ground to stand on. And, as they say, the more you know, the more you find you don't know. I'd rather remain neutral than fight for the wrong side. Anyway moral stances are inconsequential while I have zero influence on society. Hopefully that will change but for now I'm content to keep gathering information.
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 05:09:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
Hi. As a general rule, don't take anything I say seriously. That's what I tell my friends and we get along just fine. As far as the "clinically insane" remark goes, it was mostly sarcastic, except that based on what I've seen happen to some people, if I weren't so good at keeping my mouth shut and acting normal, I might well be in a rubber room now. I sure as hell aren't going to tell a shrink about it, so who the hell knows?
My hackles went all hard and oozing but it quickly became clear that "clinically insane" wasn't a euphemism for "whacky and zany" so I took it in the spirit I think it was intended
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 05:54:23 PM
Anyway moral stances are inconsequential while I have zero influence on society.
This is absolute nonsense. Moral stances are never inconsequential, because they shape you as a person.
Morals do, of course, vary from person to person. There is no absolute morality, no matter what the Randites say. But if you don't have a solid moral grounding of any kind, you will always be a person things happen to, someone who will be swept away by events, rather than enduring or even shaping those events.
Do not confuse the morality put forth by the church you attended as THE morality. The common mistake of people who leave an environment like that is to discard morality in general, which is basically throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
Let me ask you this: IS there anything about which you have strong opinions?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 05:59:48 PM
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 05:54:23 PM
Anyway moral stances are inconsequential while I have zero influence on society.
This is absolute nonsense. Moral stances are never inconsequential, because they shape you as a person.
Morals do, of course, vary from person to person. There is no absolute morality, no matter what the Randites say. But if you don't have a solid moral grounding of any kind, you will always be a person things happen to, someone who will be swept away by events, rather than enduring or even shaping those events.
Do not confuse the morality put forth by the church you attended as THE morality. The common mistake of people who leave an environment like that is to discard morality in general, which is basically throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
Let me ask you this: IS there anything about which you have strong opinions?
Please don't mistake my meaning of "moral ambiguity" for lack of concern. Perhaps I could have worded it better.
Much of what I see invokes in me a passionate sense of
wrong. There are grave injustices on all levels of human society and they seriously piss me off. However, I don't trust my own sense of
right without adequate data to support my claims. If I hadn't taught myself to disregard my emotions on these subjects, I no doubt would have offed myself a dozen times by now.
For one small example of this, the pro choice/pro life argument. I strongly believe in a woman's right to rule over her own body, and I don't want anybody to have to go through with raising an unwanted child, so I tend to
lean toward the pro-choice argument. However, there seems to be little concrete evidence stating exactly when a fetus becomes an individual human life, and at what point abortion becomes infanticide. Thus, I can't justify fighting on either front. I do, however, love being proven wrong and having my arguments shut down. That's how I learn and strengthen my ideas, and I essentially want to know everything.
On the other hand, I directly oppose any attempt to suppress individual thought, and want to brutally murder anybody who attempts to stifle the individual's right to make their own goddam decisions, as well as those who stiffly refuse to make their own decisions.
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 06:22:14 PM
Much of what I see invokes in me a passionate sense of wrong. There are grave injustices on all levels of human society and they seriously piss me off. However, I don't trust my own sense of right without adequate data to support my claims. If I hadn't taught myself to disregard my emotions on these subjects, I no doubt would have offed myself a dozen times by now.
So, is it that you don't know if your sense of right and wrong is flawed, because the world can't possibly be
that crazy, or is it that you simply don't know what the fuck to do about it?
QuoteFor one small example of this, the pro choice/pro life argument. I strongly believe in a woman's right to rule over her own body, and I don't want anybody to have to go through with raising an unwanted child, so I tend to lean toward the pro-choice argument. However, there seems to be little concrete evidence stating exactly when a fetus becomes an individual human life, and at what point abortion becomes infanticide. Thus, I can't justify fighting on either front. I do, however, love being proven wrong and having my arguments shut down. That's how I learn and strengthen my ideas, and I essentially want to know everything.
That is what we Holy Men™ refer to as a
nuanced view. Sometimes there aren't any easy answers, and - as you imply - nobody can fight
every battle, especially if there aren't enough solid facts.
QuoteOn the other hand, I directly oppose any attempt to suppress individual thought, and want to brutally murder anybody who attempts to stifle the individual's right to make their own goddam decisions, as well as those who stiffly refuse to make their own decisions.
Now, that's a moral stance, and one I agree with. On the other hand, and take this from me, once you allow yourself to indulge in killing stupid people, how could you ever stop? There's 200 new people a minute, and half of them are truly dumb (according to the Nenslo Principle). You'd wear your arm out before lunch time.
Also I'm going to add a bit more to a point I brought up in my last reply. I would have put this in the OP, but it's a massive enough text wall as is.
To anybody who replies to me on the forum or wants to converse with me in any way, please don't assume that I will plant my feet when confronted. I want to be challenged. Sometimes I like to raise a point I don't necessarily agree with, so that relevant discourse can sharpen or rebuff my views. Worse yet, when I come to a conclusion that I don't particularly like I'll often relentlessly argue the opposite stance, hoping for clear evidence to prove me wrong. I've been doing this in my head for a long time now; what I'm hoping for out of this forum is a chance to share these arguments and receive input from people who aren't me, but aren't as daft as the vocal majority of the internet (or my RL friends) and won't start shrieking or try to crucify me when I play devil's advocate.
In short, if you find me at fault, please prove me wrong if you can, don't dismiss me as an ignorant know-it-all or a troll. I want to learn! :lol:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 06:32:32 PM
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 06:22:14 PM
Much of what I see invokes in me a passionate sense of wrong. There are grave injustices on all levels of human society and they seriously piss me off. However, I don't trust my own sense of right without adequate data to support my claims. If I hadn't taught myself to disregard my emotions on these subjects, I no doubt would have offed myself a dozen times by now.
So, is it that you don't know if your sense of right and wrong is flawed, because the world can't possibly be that crazy, or is it that you simply don't know what the fuck to do about it?
The latter. I've spent more time than I'd like to admit trying to develop an over-arching politico-socio-economic philosophy that could actually be applied to the current iteration of talking primates; a reinvention of the wheel that relies on neither left-wing nor right-wing fundamentals, both of which I find to be inherently flawed. This is almost certainly futile, as the status quo is, by definition, resistant to change. That doesn't stop this shit from keeping me up at night. Nor does it keep me from treating people the way I feel is right, even when I usually just get shit on for it.
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 07:03:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 06:32:32 PM
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 06:22:14 PM
Much of what I see invokes in me a passionate sense of wrong. There are grave injustices on all levels of human society and they seriously piss me off. However, I don't trust my own sense of right without adequate data to support my claims. If I hadn't taught myself to disregard my emotions on these subjects, I no doubt would have offed myself a dozen times by now.
So, is it that you don't know if your sense of right and wrong is flawed, because the world can't possibly be that crazy, or is it that you simply don't know what the fuck to do about it?
The latter.
Then welcome to The Church™. :lulz: Things really ARE that weird.
QuoteI've spent more time than I'd like to admit trying to develop an over-arching politico-socio-economic philosophy that could actually be applied to the current iteration of talking primates; a reinvention of the wheel that relies on neither left-wing nor right-wing fundamentals, both of which I find to be inherently flawed. This is almost certainly futile, as the status quo is, by definition, resistant to change. That doesn't stop this shit from keeping me up at night. Nor does it keep me from treating people the way I feel is right, even when I usually just get shit on for it.
Utopian urges are best repressed. Utopias always start out with good intentions, but they're built on great stacks of bones, because - as you notice - humans don't
like being told how to do things, and they especially don't like you telling them what's best for them. They have TV and AM radio for that.
Besides, trying to dream up an entirely new system is basically just fappery unless you're rich and powerful. The most you can accomplish is tiny nudges to the existing system, which is more effective than it looks.
Quote
Besides, trying to dream up an entirely new system is basically just fappery unless you're rich and powerful.
I know, I kn--wait, it's
still just fappery when you're rich and powerful. Look at the joke that is the "third party" in American politics. Even when they manage to wrangle in a juggernaut's support, they get laughed off the stage. And anyway, this is one place where reason will not sway my tenacity. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
Quote
The most you can accomplish is tiny nudges to the existing system, which is more effective than it looks.
Tiny nudges against the supermassive black hole that is TV and radio. I know I'm just being a cynical asshole, but let me know how that goes. :x
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 07:37:14 PM
Quote
Besides, trying to dream up an entirely new system is basically just fappery unless you're rich and powerful.
I know, I kn--wait, it's still just fappery when you're rich and powerful. Look at the joke that is the "third party" in American politics. Even when they manage to wrangle in a juggernaut's support, they get laughed off the stage. And anyway, this is one place where reason will not sway my tenacity. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
The Koch Brothers and ALEC beg to differ. Although it turns out that they couldn't buy a presidential election, it also turns out that it
didn't matter. They own damn near every state congress, and ain't we got fun?
There will never be a third party of any significance. Duverger's Law takes no prisoners.
Quote
Quote
The most you can accomplish is tiny nudges to the existing system, which is more effective than it looks.
Tiny nudges against the supermassive black hole that is TV and radio. I know I'm just being a cynical asshole, but let me know how that goes. :x
It goes quite nicely, thanks. You may have noticed that despite the assbaggery I mentioned above, the country's Overton Window is moving left, not right. It's got a long way to go until we're anything resembling centrist, but it's making progress.
I don't claim any direct credit for that for myself or for Discordianism, but rather for everyone who agitates and gets all pissy and loud...Of which we are a very tiny part.
Hey there, new guy.
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 05:54:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 05:40:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
I saw that bit and pretty much stopped reading. Then I said "meh", and read the rest of it. Fairly typical American experience. Not sure about the morally ambiguous part. That's never good.
As for moral ambiguity, I don't take a strong stance on anything unless I feel I have a strong ground to stand on. And, as they say, the more you know, the more you find you don't know. I'd rather remain neutral than fight for the wrong side. Anyway moral stances are inconsequential while I have zero influence on society. Hopefully that will change but for now I'm content to keep gathering information.
The bolded bit up there puts you way ahead of just about everyone else in the country. Hang on to it.
Hey new guy. Do better than the last two new guys, kay?
I think I like this new guy.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 08:47:55 PM
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 05:54:23 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 05:40:35 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on April 12, 2013, 05:02:13 PM
Hi new guy. Cool story.
Where does the "clinically insane" part start. Because that's one of those trigger phrases that will get you kicked in the face by those of us who actually HAVE had that experience.
I saw that bit and pretty much stopped reading. Then I said "meh", and read the rest of it. Fairly typical American experience. Not sure about the morally ambiguous part. That's never good.
As for moral ambiguity, I don't take a strong stance on anything unless I feel I have a strong ground to stand on. And, as they say, the more you know, the more you find you don't know. I'd rather remain neutral than fight for the wrong side. Anyway moral stances are inconsequential while I have zero influence on society. Hopefully that will change but for now I'm content to keep gathering information.
The bolded bit up there puts you way ahead of just about everyone else in the country. Hang on to it.
Do not listen to Nigel. She is
wrong, not with respect to knowledge, but rather with respect to morals, ethics, or anything resembling basic humanity. She strangled Oakland
1. She will give you bad advice, and then she will laugh callously as you are led away in shackles. She is diabolical, and yet most people believe her to be merely opinionated. Run while you still have legs.
1 This is not an obscure sports reference. She choked every one of those bastards.
Quote
Hey there, new guy.
Hi! Nice'ter meetcha!
Quote
The bolded bit up there puts you way ahead of just about everyone else in the country. Hang on to it.
Don't stroke my ego, or it'll get stiff and start knocking things over. Nobody wants that.
Quote
Hey new guy. Do better than the last two new guys, kay?
Will keep in mind, but considering that Roger hasn't yet managed to goad me into a half-assed suicide threat (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,34413.0.html), I think I'll be okay.
Quote
Do not listen to Nigel.... She strangled Oakland.
As a punk rock fan, I take personal offense to that, and will disagree with her at every possible moment.
:lulz:
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 07:37:14 PM
Quote
Besides, trying to dream up an entirely new system is basically just fappery unless you're rich and powerful.
I know, I kn--wait, it's still just fappery when you're rich and powerful. Look at the joke that is the "third party" in American politics. Even when they manage to wrangle in a juggernaut's support, they get laughed off the stage. And anyway, this is one place where reason will not sway my tenacity. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
Quote
The most you can accomplish is tiny nudges to the existing system, which is more effective than it looks.
Tiny nudges against the supermassive black hole that is TV and radio. I know I'm just being a cynical asshole, but let me know how that goes. :x
Here's how I do the existence thing. I forget about the big picture, it's too ugly and there aint enough paint to change it. Does the shit that's wrong affect me or my "tribe" directly? If not then it's not an immediate concern. Not if there are fucked up things directly affecting me. Until all of those are solved, avoided or circumvented then the big picture can damn well take care of itself. So I don't worry about the effect that the state of teevee and propaganda and all of that other bullshit is having on everyone else. It's not affecting me, I've been too damn cynical, ever since my primary 4 teacher wrote that on my report card, to buy into party line jingoism and messages from our sponsors. Ergo - it's not a problem.
In prioritising solving most of my own immediate concerns I've found that the way I now view the big picture is nowhere near as "doom and gloom" as it was when I was going through hell and trying to imagine what could be done to "save" everyone. Let them solve their own fucking problems. Maybe that's the whole purpose of this game? In the absence of any proven higher moral authority then I'm more than happy to delegate the choosing of my purpose in life to myself and would advise anyone else to do the same. My purpose is to have a bunch of fun and not be too much of a cunt to everyone. Helping people in some kind of need is also something I do occasionally because it feels nice but it's not my Raison d'etre. I'd much rather be having fun while the rest of the world burns in misery.
And remember - if you're not part of the problem, you're not part of the problem.
:lulz:
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 09:06:24 PM
As a punk rock fan, I take personal offense to that, and will disagree with her at every possible moment.
:lulz:
If anyone should see me making it on the lost highway
Breaking all the laws of the land
Well don't you try to stop me
I'm going Nigel's way
And that's the way I'm sure she had it planned
'Cos she's my rock n roll Madonna
She's always been a lady of the road
Well everybody wants her
That's why most hate her
Because the hard way is the only way she knows
Well if she would only slow down for a short time
I'd maybe understand her just before she leaves
But she's got some fascination for that two wheel contraption
And I swear it's going to be the death of me
And I get a little bit low
And I get a little bit lower...
...'Cos she's my rock n roll Madonna
And I'm stuck here with no Ducati11 Long story concerning Elvis Presley, a coyote, and the death of a beautiful motorcycle
KINGS
OF THE HIGHWAY
WE WILL BE.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:15:13 PM
KINGS
OF THE HIGHWAY
WE WILL BE.
And if you see us coming, Bubba, you better
run.
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
If the moral of the story is to stay away from Tuscon, then point duly noted.
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 09:40:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
If the moral of the story is to stay away from Tuscon, then point duly noted.
We didn't have a choice, not really. It was them or us, man.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:42:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.
Me, too. It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH! AAAIIEEEE!"
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:42:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:42:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.
Me, too. It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH! AAAIIEEEE!"
I still think of him out there, stranded, with nothing for companionship but a Teabilly's daughter... :cry:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:53:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:42:53 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:42:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 09:31:31 PM
I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork. I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."
So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air. So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out. Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch. The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork. What could we do? The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse.
He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger! It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds. I haven't had a good night's sleep since.
Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.
Me, too. It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH! AAAIIEEEE!"
I still think of him out there, stranded, with nothing for companionship but a Teabilly's daughter... :cry:
And then
And then
And then
Curly was stranded with them, and after God knows how many years, he broke down and
mated with them, granting their offspring a rudimentary intelligence. Nobody saw it coming, the bastards just sort of snuck into think tanks and corporate boards and school districts.
And THAT, children, is how the Morlocks got started. And that is why we hide at night, when the big bronze doors open.
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
I will not even pretend to understand the madness that has become this thread. This is the part where I back away slowly...
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 09:59:19 PM
I will not even pretend to understand the madness that has become this thread. This is the part where I back away slowly...
THIS ISN'T GONNA BE YOUR CENTURY, BUBBA.
Just saying.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again.
His way.
I mean, Shtik, this thread is the TL;DR of your life, right?
EITHER:
We are merely, via allegory, trying to explain what the next few years of your life will be.
OR:
I'm all fucked up on Benzos.
Either way, don't fight it. You'll just get high blood pressure and acid reflux.
OR there's a weird inside joke going on that is supposed to go right over my head.
In any case, high blood pressure just makes me look buff, and I don't take acid. Not since last time... *shivers*
Quote from: Shtik on April 12, 2013, 10:09:41 PM
OR there's a weird inside joke going on that is supposed to go right over my head.
Um, nope. It's an old gag, a well-worn and comfortable bit, but there's really nothing to get.
Unless you mean this:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33665.msg1221546.html#msg1221546
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33666.msg1221566.html#msg1221566
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33667.msg1221587.html#msg1221587
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33680.msg1222223.html#msg1222223
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33723.msg1223989.html#msg1223989
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:00:16 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again. His way.
And now you have
too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:20:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:00:16 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again. His way.
And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel. People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.
And these teeth? They are Teeth With Which To Eat. GRINNING is just a side effect.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:22:44 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:20:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:00:16 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again. His way.
And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel. People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.
And these teeth? They are Teeth With Which To Eat. GRINNING is just a side effect.
I like that they have to remind you, often, that they never think about you, in case you forget.
And what do you eat with all those teeth of yours, Roger?
ACTUALLY WAIT NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ME.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:28:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:22:44 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:20:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:00:16 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again. His way.
And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel. People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.
And these teeth? They are Teeth With Which To Eat. GRINNING is just a side effect.
I like that they have to remind you, often, that they never think about you, in case you forget.
And what do you eat with all those teeth of yours, Roger?
ACTUALLY WAIT NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ME.
CEASAR HAD YOUR TROUBLE, NIGEL,
WIDOWS HAD TO CRY
WHILE MERCENARIES IN CLOISTERS SING
AND THE KING MUST DIE.But Kings are kinda thin on the ground these days, so I mostly eat Indian food.
And to think that this morning, when I first saw this thread, it sucked.
WELL DONE, Y'ALL! :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:35:05 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:28:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:22:44 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 10:20:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2013, 10:00:16 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 12, 2013, 09:58:45 PM
Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.
Balls. Curly taught me how to laugh again. His way.
And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel. People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.
And these teeth? They are Teeth With Which To Eat. GRINNING is just a side effect.
I like that they have to remind you, often, that they never think about you, in case you forget.
And what do you eat with all those teeth of yours, Roger?
ACTUALLY WAIT NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ME.
CEASAR HAD YOUR TROUBLE, NIGEL,
WIDOWS HAD TO CRY
WHILE MERCENARIES IN CLOISTERS SING
AND THE KING MUST DIE.
But Kings are kinda thin on the ground these days, so I mostly eat Indian food.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 12, 2013, 08:48:59 PM
Hey new guy. Do better than the last two new guys, kay?
Shit. Did I burn out and make an ass of myself when I wasn't paying attention?
Quote from: Jez on April 13, 2013, 12:17:13 AM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on April 12, 2013, 08:48:59 PM
Hey new guy. Do better than the last two new guys, kay?
Shit. Did I burn out and make an ass of myself when I wasn't paying attention?
You aren't in the last two new people, though you are in the last two new people that actually bothered with the intro thread.
Not bitching about this one, though, on account of his post had some meat to it, and didn't need to get buried in the intro thread.
Welcome to the party, Shtik. Watch out for Nessies, singing bridges, and Tucson spores. Not that you'll be overly successful, but it's fun to watch them eat yourself bit by bit and lure your innards outwards.
And Providence. Watch out for Providence.