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Topics - tyrannosaurus vex

#251
Or Kill Me / False Alternatives...
October 10, 2007, 05:19:44 PM
FALSE ALTERNATIVES

For most people, it is no surprise to hear that their rights are slowly dissolving. They are aware of the creeping totalitarian flavor of Western society, the intensifying scrutiny of outcasts and outsiders, and the methodical approach of various "first-world" governments to dismantling a centuries-old framework of civil liberties. Even in cases where the person in question may have practically no concept of what has historically gone into the construction of the freedoms they take for granted, they are at least subconsciously aware that their lives are becoming more planned and arranged by forces beyond the individual's control.

Most of these people will take sides in what they think is a debate between liberty and security. On those terms, however, the fight is not winnable for the libertarian: it takes no soaring feat of logic to equate absolute social lock-down with apparent "security" for the masses, and that logic has been beaten into the public consciousness now for two entire generations. The government is our Protector, responsible for the overall security of the State; the government knows what's best for us, having access to privileged information we mere citizens would be unable to handle; and in some nations the government is even our Provider, taking care to make sure at least our basic needs are always met.

All of these things are convenient — moreso than the responsibilities that come with liberty — but have required us at each phase to give up a little autonomy and a little capacity for critical thinking. Where, a century ago, it would have been thought imprudent at best to rely on the Government for daily necessities, today we are so indebted to Government assistance that we forego the formality of looking into what is going to be expected of us in return. Culturally, we have cultivated an environment of subsistence on Government whim, from the arbitrary assignment of the value of our work to corruption-prone systems of regulation which affect nearly all of us on a very personal level.

In past ages, a society full of people collectively working toward a goal of zero responsibility would have been fatal to any nation. But today, thanks to great advances in science, technology and medicine, personal responsibility can be shirked without the larger threats to national cohesion or security. With large government and corporate bureaucracies devoted to micromanaging personal finances, medical care and liability, the effect on the large scale is similar to what might happen if we were managing these things ourselves. When one looks at the resulting society as a whole, it has a bustling economy, a healthy work force, a common culture, projects large and small under way, and it appears to be a functional society.

But if one looks at the average person caught up in all this, we can tell that something about our big successful State has changed fundamentally. His personal affairs are now a matter of government record and decree; his job, if not already assigned by a government office, is only the logical end of whatever education he is able to obtain. He arouses suspicion in supervisory bodies if his bank statements go out of line with what is mathematically expected; he is the target of psycho-demographic advertising campaigns which have narrowed his entire life experience down to a point on a chart. He is hardly responsible for anything except to keep doing what is expected of him: show up for work, go out once in a while and have too much to drink (but only drink), you know, the normal "This is what you do because you're here, because that's what we do because we're here" routine.

The average citizen can be easily made aware of all this, if he is not already, and most times you won't encounter an argument when you bring it up, but you will have the subject changed rather quickly. People know about this but they do not want to discuss it. If you do get a discussion going, it will most often reveal that people have been fed a very useful lie about their situation in life, and usually adhere to a false dichotomy when it comes to this subject.
On one hand, they say, "Complaining won't do any good." That is true, but when they say that, what they really mean is, "There's nothing to be done about it — it's just the way things are," which is not true. There is something to be done about it, which is why they immediately (sometimes without saying so out loud) will follow that statement with, "and neither will voting." Which, of course, is also true. People know the system is failing (or has failed), but rather than take what they assume to be a radical position against the system, they balk at the idea of change and feign a woeful resignation to the "way things are." These people know they are trapped — but they are wrong about why they are trapped, and by whom, or what. This first lie they believe is that they have no options and no power to change their situation.

Because most people will never receive higher education or directly encounter philosophical discussions beyond armchair politics, they are ill-equipped to process the information and events streaming at them continuously. It really is an information overload for anyone to try and assimilate everything that's happening in the world, even in a single day, much less global events over a span of centuries; nevertheless, the public is bombarded on a daily basis with video and headlines from all over the planet. Without the slightest inkling of established methods of dealing with these larger picture, often with the undertone that they ought to know what all of this means — and almost no interest in history — their natural defense is to grasp onto something familiar and ride it through the onslaught of events.

This creates a false antithesis of the lie that that people cannot change their situation to a very large degree. If they are trapped and losing ground, if they are feeling the crunch of the new way the world works, then it is because (they believe) the old way is under attack, and the only hope for survival now is to cling steadfastly to outdated ideas. We see resurgent religious movements in America; we see a drive toward the former "glory" of the Soviet era in Russia. These people are open to the idea that their freedom is under attack, and they will stop at nothing to turn back the forces of whichever evil they have been persuaded to blame, usually by political opportunists.

So, now they know they are trapped, and they think that there is either nothing to be done about it (and thus hate the topic and refuse to discuss it), or the only thing to do about it is to turn around and attack the perceived source of their persecution, the identity of which is always open to debate thanks to a naturally short human attention span (exacerbated by the media) and a generally uneducated population. The false assumption here that is always maintained (out of fear of what the reverse would mean) is that the threat to our freedom is some great external force or group or nation. (This, incidentally, is where the chief ideological difference between modern "conservatives" and "liberals" is rooted, as well — conservatives always blaming the crisis of the moment on some tangible human foe and liberals always doing their best to make a crisis of the moment out of any one of a thousand non-human issues like climate change or poverty or health care — although after the case against some enemy has been made, what proceeds directly afterward is usually pretty much the same thing either way).

But what if the threat is not an external one? What if the real threat — not the threat to our national pride, which is contrived anyway, or the threat to our "collective unity," which doesn't exist except in name, but the threat to our own individual right to exist as more than a self-aware blip on a Government or corporate diagram — is entirely internal? What if, by decades of building a Government to take care of us so we don't have to do it ourselves, we have created a system as interested in its own survival as we are?
#252
Or Kill Me / TAZ Has Ugly, Retarded Cousin
October 09, 2007, 12:01:57 AM
The Temporary Totalitarian Zone is the Machine's answer to the Temporary Autonomous Zone. The idea is that within a matter of hours, an entire city can go from normal Monday afternoon to crawling with heavily armed paramilitary police, and hours after that, they disappear into the ether as quickly as they swarmed in. Designed to reinforce the false notion that the Police really can be everywhere at once, the TTZ is a system of roving police states capable of springing up anywhere at almost a moment's notice in order to assist the powers that be in whatever devious plot they have at a given moment.

In a "post-9/11 world", as we are all constantly reminded we are living in, the vast majority of rubes living out there in la-la land actually welcome the TTZ as it storms down Main Street, feeling extra safe from Terrorists, but never quite catching on to the fact that all it takes is one terse command from the lips of some fat asshole in Washington, and all those guns can be aiming directly at the heads of "innocent" civilians.

Of course, at that point, We the People would probably turn ourselves in for being Terrorists without even knowing we were up to no good.

Anyway, being that the TTZ is a tool for totalitarian schmucks, it is not going to stop here. No, expect the TTZs to increase in duration and frequency until it reaches a point where the Police really are everywhere at once.
#253
Or Kill Me / not particularly worth reading, but here:
October 05, 2007, 06:35:16 PM
A letter I just sent to about 25 different US Congress representatives because I'm bored:

Dear Representative _,

I understand how difficult it is to portray yourself as a servant of the people while working so hard to appease the political process and your main contributors to ensure you don't lose your next re-election. It must be incredibly frustrating to be constantly bombarded with requests like this one, from average citizens who have the gall to send you letters in good faith, so that one of your interns can reply with a generic-sounding form letter that probably has nothing to do with the request.

In times like these, members of the Congress are under constant stress, get very little sleep, and they must somehow seek to please their constituency without actually doing anything to help them. It really must be one of the most difficult jobs in the world.

This letter, although it is sure to be flatly ignored by your staff except for a canned reply that has been chosen even before I write this, is nevertheless the only means I have of contacting you. While I fully expect to be insulted by a fake response (if I get one at all), I have no choice but to try.

As a United States Representative, you are an heir to a noble legacy. More than two centuries ago, the Congress was filled with rebels and revolutionaries, who attended meetings wherever they could under continuous threat of mortal retribution from the existing governments in the Colonies. They were looked on as traitors by many people, some of whom went on to call themselves Americans because of what they did in the halls of Congress.

But today, those revolutionaries are dead, and Congress is filled with self-interested politicians with nothing to lose except re-election. Gone are the days when doing something tangible for the People was the driving force behind the office of Representative, or indeed anything at all beyond a talking point on the campaign trail. This is an unfortunate truth, especially in light of the fact that now more than ever before, the United States Congress is in a position to accomplish so much within our borders.

Congress today can act decisively to allow poor children in the United States the benefit of healthcare. This is more than a request for a few dollars so that some children might live who would otherwise die. This is more than the impoverished voice of a subdued People bereft of its former pre-eminance in American politics grovelling before your feet, begging the Government that was supposed to be Of, By, and For them to actually act on their behalf. It is a request for a stronger America -- a request for the Government to save some face with a People falling fast into apathy and despair.

I am not asking that you "socialize" children's healthecare, but that you act in some real way to postpone the final deadly descent of our Republic into a fractured society where the People are so alienated from their Government that we finally stop caring whether the founding principles of our system are even given a cursory glance before they are inevitably destroyed.

If even our children are spat on by our government, what hope is there for our rights? What hope is there for Liberty? What hope is there for the continued support of this government by a People it clearly despises?

Please -- act now to stave off this collapse which seems now to be so unavoidable. For the space of a single vote in the chambers of Congress, put what is desperately needed by millions of American children ahead of what is selfishly demanded by a few Americans. Brave the onslaught of reprisal as you might have done had you been among the ranks of Congressional representatives 230 years ago. Act as a human being with a conscience and the power to do some good, rather than as a dog with nothing better to do than obey a master he cannot understand.
#254
Propaganda Depository / Government Logos
October 05, 2007, 05:52:41 AM






also

#255
Or Kill Me / Generic Subgenius Rant
September 19, 2007, 05:28:23 AM
There are a lot of sermons going around about the coming Weird Times and the Machine and the Con and why you need to pack an extra set of pantyhose just in case.  These things are all important, and you shouldn't ignore them.

But my topic today isn't about that stuff.  It's about all the ways that THEY will pervert you and teach you to think you're hot shit when, in fact, you are cold, droopy shit with a smell worse than Woodstock the day after.

Friends, there are two great and powerful forces at work in the world today.  Not GOOD and EVIL, not STRONG and WEAK, and -- FUCK YOU, ERIS! -- not ORDER and CHAOS.  These are all false dichotomies and they're all the work of the bad side of what's Really Going On.  No, amigos, if you get caught up in any of these, you're dead wrong!

As I look around this stinking pile of crap you call a "Society," there's only one distinction I've ever been able to make among you people with any kind of recurring accuracy.

There's SLACK,

And then, there's "SLACK."

This probably sounds pretty confusing, doesn't it.  Quit whining, Hippie! The world isn't here to please your underdeveloped sense of logic!  The plain and simple fact is, if you don't know what I'm talking about it's because you've been "SLACKING" too much to SLACK.  So, to help your pea-sized primate cerebrum wrap itself around this terribly CONFUSING topic, I've created a short list of ways you can tell whether your Slack is TRUE.

First of all, SLACK is not living in Mommy & Daddy's basement because it's cheaper than paying rent!  You might think you're saving yourself from a terrible, nasty world when you blow all your extra cash on tube socks and tabletop gaming sets, but guess what, schmucko?  You're just hiding under a rock, squarely in the path of an oncoming bulldozer that won't even notice when it smears your pathetic corpse into the dirt.

Secondly, SLACK is not having "fun" at WORK!  You ought to be ashamed of yourself for even thinking such degenerate thoughts.  If you think a few office jokes to pass the time while you're slowly being ground to a subhuman pulp is going to count for anything on the day you face "Bob" to answer for all your "virtues," you got another thing coming.

SLACK is not saving for "Early Retirement."  That is, unless you enjoy the thought of spending even more of your "Golden Years" sucking cock for a pension that's more dried-up than you are and what's left of that Social Security account.  Face it -- if you're the kind of person who thinks they're going to "retire" someday, you might as well jump off a bridge right now and leave more in those federal coffers for me.

Lastly, SLACK doesn't take the Weekdays off. Ever wonder why, out of seven days a week, you only get two (if you're "lucky") for yourself? Me either.

Now, go forth and examine your life.  Examine everything you do, every day.  Most of the crap you think is "fun" is only there to keep you alive until the next time somebody bends you over. But don't take my word for it, I'm only from the Internets!
#256
Literate Chaotic / In Progress X
September 12, 2007, 11:59:34 PM
QuoteThere may be no way to divulge the information in these pages without crossing a few imaginary lines and charting territory in places that some people would consider going too far. However, it is my sincere belief that, sometimes, offending someone you care about is not only necessary but helpful in the long run, painful as it may be, when compared to the damage that might be done by ignoring a situation that promises to bring complete ruin if it goes unaddressed.

It is for this reason alone that I write what I write. I do not hope for or expect that I will accomplish some grand revolution in popular thought. I am only addressing a reality that I see as threatening to my welfare; and not only my own welfare, but the welfare of my friends and my family. I write out of what I believe is a necessity to bring to light some facts that are too often dismissed as trivial or unrelated to everyday life.

My motives have been questioned by those who have seen what I am writing, as I would expect, and it would seem that this testament is responsible for bringing much of what I have feared would happen had I never said a single word, to fruition. To this my only response is that attacking a rabid beast may get you bitten, but running in fear or standing still in its path would only delay the same fate.

So, I do what I feel I must do; because I do not have an army at my disposal, I must wield the pen in hopes that I might at least bring enough widespread attention to this situation to stave off the larger assault for a generation or two.

What you think of me for what I write is not important; neither is it a point on which I hope you dwell too much. Take what words you read, whether they are everything in these pages or only brief excerpts, and do whatever you think you should do with it. Take heed if you must, ignore it if you must, bury it with a gallon of booze, try to forget it if you must. All I really ask of you is that you hear what you want to hear in these pages, as people will do, and act on it as your conditioning has taught you to act on things that may (or may not, as the case may be) offend you.

The Spectator Sport

It is too easy to sit in a comfortable chair and reflect over the many thousands of years our race has struggled through adversity, both natural and self-inflicted, and think there is a general trend toward Peace and Enlightenment. Although at a glance it might seem like that is the case, it only takes a minute to see that as the false assumption it is. It is true that for small pieces of the population for small pieces of history, comfort and easy living have been taken for granted. But in all of those cases there is an outward border to prosperity that these people inevitably cross. Whether it was the fall of Rome, or the fall of the British Empire, or the fall of the United States (all of which, in retrospect, result from simple mistakes at the top of the social ladder); all of the immortal governments of man have proved to be far more susceptible to the shortsightedness and vice of the common Human animal than we like to think.

When one steps outside the boundaries of sanctioned and glorified history and looks more critically at the actual events that have transpired in the scope of Human endeavor, it begins to look like a string of incredible accidents and near-misses that has allowed any sort of civilization to survive for as long as it has. Indeed, at many points in our history complete and total destruction has been averted not by the careful planning of entire nations full of good intentions, but by random elements not previously taken into consideration at all, which seem to just show up out of nowhere and stop the progress of whatever momentary apocalypse would be unstoppable otherwise.

As history progresses, we do see more and more potential for universal prosperity; we see grand technologies developed, public systems implemented, more noble speech from the politicians, and wonderful treatments for terrible diseases. We see all of this happen, but instead of a world filled with greater equality, we are shown more and more the capacity of man to corrupt every virtue and squander every opportunity. We are in truth brought nearer the point of absolute extinction with every step "forward" we take, while our naivete insists we must think that things are getting better.

A few years before the events in Seattle, I thought I was a socially-conscious young man quietly doing his part to nudge history along the slow but decidedly benevolent pattern it had been making for ten thousand years. I happened to be a faceless clerk working in a franchise location for a faceless corporation, doing the same job everyone did back then, shuffling bits of mass-production to bits of mass-consumption. I was of course oblivious to the Movement at that time, and what I did when I wasn't at work was nevertheless defined by what I did while I was at work. I did now and then find time to help set up a concert here and there, or to distribute literature encouraging people to just stop being so down on themselves all the time. I used to think people were too depressed.

Anyway, it was a Tuesday morning, and I was stocking a shelf with some latest-and-greatest gadget boxed in an attractive blue plastic carton. I admit I was moving a little slow, my mind preoccupied with the Rally I'd be at later that evening. Something was going on up at the front of the store, somebody sounded mad about something, but I was only vaguely aware of it at the moment. Then somebody let out a loud blast of profanity and that at least got enough of my attention to get me to look up and to my left at the row of checkout lanes, just in time to see five or six men in black fatigues, no insignias on them, surrounding some customer.

I thought she had probably been shoplifting at first, but then as she was standing there, surrounded by these guys and obviously not trying to escape, one of the men produced a billy club and hit her twice at the base of her skull, sending her silently to the floor. Then they carried her out of the building.

Of course I was curious now, so I asked one of the cashiers what had happened.

"She never did anything, she was just standing in line and those guys came in and took her," Alice said. She was confused. I was still just looking forward to the Rally.

More to come eventually...
#257
Or Kill Me / America is Doomed...
September 10, 2007, 05:22:00 AM
This one turned out kinda bleh, but whatever.
#258
Or Kill Me / STRANGER DANGER!
September 05, 2007, 11:41:11 PM
#259
Or Kill Me / Don't You Remember?
August 30, 2007, 10:07:38 PM
#260
Or Kill Me / r.o.b.o.t.s.
August 25, 2007, 06:26:26 AM
#261
Or Kill Me / Surviving in the Surveillance State
August 18, 2007, 03:56:40 PM
You know you're being watched.  Fuck off with your "this is more conspiracy theory garbage" reactions.

This is the truth.

They have cameras, man.  The smoke detector in your hotel room is wired.  They make cell phone manufacturers put GPS units in every single model, even if they don't use it as a selling point.  Just imagine what's in your car.  They're onto you, don't doubt that.  But so what?  If they're going to follow you around and take notes, the least you can do is make sure their investment is worthwhile.

The following will help you to increase the value your tax dollars get:

1. Make conflicting reservations at different hotels at opposite ends of the country, and on that night, sleep in the park under a surveillance camera.  Also, if you're too loaded with cash and have nothing better to do, book a one-way ticket to Morocco and never get on the plane.

2. Commit a misdemeanor.  These assholes want files on everybody, and if they don't have anything they will make one up.  If you get booked for littering or shoplifting a pack of gum, then you're a petty criminal.  If they have nothing on you at all, you might end up being a Terrorist Mastermind.

3. Prank-call 911 from pay phones in the rich neighborhoods.

4. Buy things on the Internet from people in Third-World countries.  It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it isn't a rug.

5. When going through security checkpoints, embellish your cell phone with nonfunctional wires and switches.

6. With a couple of friends in separate vehicles, organize a pursuit of a DHS van through downtown.

7. Buy a copy of Catcher in the Rye, but sell it on eBay.

8. When you sign for purchases on electronic card-reading devices, sign the words HELLO NSA.

These steps will accomplish nothing, but they will make you feel like a secret operative, fighting a war you don't understand for people who don't even know you exist.  And in lieu of any real freedoms, the illusion of participation in your own demise should be considered a civil right.
#262
There's the guy who dreads spending time with his kid, because he's afraid it means no time left to himself.

There's the guy who spends time with his kid grudgingly out of a sense of frustrated duty.

There's the guy who, after spending a minute with his kid, has forgotten all about his complaining, and just plays like he's a 2-year-old himself, content to build big boxes out of those oversized legos and watch the kid tear them apart.

There's the guy who puts his kid to bed and thinks "FINALLY, some free time," and plunges into some activity, only to find that it isn't as interesting as he thought it would be, and wishes that the kid wasn't sleeping.

That's just a sample, of course, describing one tiny piece of experience that happens to a much larger mind.  But these four mindsets all carry with them their own attitudes, beliefs, and desires.  It's just one person doing what a person does, but from moment to moment in the control room, it seems like The Management has a turnover rate higher than a Burger King in downtown Baghdad.

The "kernel" of consciousness that watches all of this is sometimes powerless to do anything but see it go by.  As ready as it is at any given moment to exert its authority to commandeer its meatmobile, it is equally effected by things around it.

In any given mood, a person is working from a set of instructions that tell him how to react to stimuli, and what opinions to hold about various things at different times, sometimes strong opinions, often conflicting opinions.

I have had some success in overcoming this schizoid effect by imagining that what I thought was a "kernel of consciousness" is not myself any more than my middle finger is myself; but that it is more like a news-media broadcast that's terribly influenced by the Party Line.

In this way, I believe that Ultimate Consciousness is usually very similar to a couch potato, and if there is a Cosmic Truth, it's too busy watching Fox News to bother with being important.
#263
Or Kill Me / e-prime sucks and so do you.
July 13, 2007, 04:55:00 PM
wtf is it with e-prime?

is it really supposed to enhance the accuracy and precision of your speech/writing? no, that is a lie. it is not supposed to enhance anything. it's just politically-correct "make sure you don't offend anybody" bullshit.

fuck that. if your opinion sucks, i'll say so. if you don't like it, then tell me my opinion sucks.

you'll be wrong but you'll feel better.

why should i waste half of my effort in saying something just to make sure you understand that i'm only expressing an opinion?  if you can't tell it's only an opinion, then you either fail at communication or need to do more homework.

people these days make a career out of being offended by anything. e-prime just adds another layer of bullshit to every argument. now you can avoid the subject completely by saying "yeah but you didn't say IMHO."  it's a whole world of the kind of shit lawyers and theologians (the two biggest reasons for societal decay) love to debate, i.e. useless crap about what you REALLY mean when what you say is plain as day.
#264
we hold a constitutional convention!

write a Discordian constitution.. and produce a final document that would under more perfect circumstances be the legally binding contract between a government and its citizens.

this process could bring new discussions regarding human behaviors, etc. like the BIP. and it could also result in the generation of new propaganda.

format: whatever. words, probably, will be involved. but unlike the tired formats of the 18th century i propose pictures also. finding a way to make a picture legally binding could be fun.

feel free to ignore/insult this idea since it's just something i posted without thinking too much about.
#265
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Unrelated.
July 07, 2007, 02:18:28 AM
Humans are a disturbing race of violent creatures.  War, etc.

If the government in Washington fell tomorrow and the USA was disbanded overnight.

As trade routes broke up and starvation set in, as you watched your neighbors succumb to the kind of mutilation that happens in other parts of the world, as you faced down death-squads of ex-citizen vigilantes (or joined them); would you be happy that at least there was no more bickering in Congress?

On the seedier side of the Internets, across the street from all the wrong kinds of porno, in the dark alley servers where you find the shit AlQaida put online; where kids scream, not because their internet is too slow, but because they're tied to a chair watching their parents getting raped and dismembered in front of their eyes.

There is a part of the counter-establishment establishment that clings to an ideology of "freedom" as if it is the defacto state of Humanity, without tyrants.

But Humanity cannot exist without tyrants because humanity is a race of tyrants.

Is this current war for the Empire, however badly managed it is, even a little bit justified, at least in its intentions?
#266
The Barstool, designed to combat the evils of solipsism and enforce the laws of reality on a brain numbed almost to death by masturbatory neurons, is also useful as a weapon against the violent overthrow of philosophy by armies of ignorant fucks wielding barstools.

Lest the mystery of the barstool become lopsided, let's not forget that it has a flat end and a pointy end.  Its legs make nice handles, but they also make decent legs.  Its seat can inflict damage, but sometimes, a barstool is also worth sitting on.

Don't miss the disconnect between actions and thought.  Besides, penetrating a person's brain with the sharp edge of a barstool will usually only increase their belief in solipsism, even if you switch their train from the "My mind is all that exists" to "Your barstool is all that exists."

This is undeveloped.
#267
JOKE OR RELIGION?

To answer this I will be drawing on experiences from the recent Discordian philosophical adventure, the Black Iron Prison.

It has been seen by a lot of people.  Some have caught on, others have rejected it.

Rejection of the BIP metaphor in itself says nothing except it isn't somebody's cup of tea.

But there is a pattern of specific criticisms of the BIP that tend toward "So What" or "Now What" or "That's a Depressing/Goth/Futile philosophy."

These obviously are misguided but I don't think it's a failure of the BIP to explain itself, because if nothing else, BIP is a collection of very specifically-worded ideas that, even if you interpret what they interpret differently, don't allow much room for missing the point entirely.

Instead, it is that those who level these criticisms are following the time-honored human tradition of rejecting abstract frames of reference that do not present themselves, in the end, as justification for concrete action.  People have been trained (or maybe evolved) to expect their abstractions to give them some direction in a life that is chaotic and full of the unexpected.

Religions like Islam and Catholicism take root in deprived areas of the world where people wouldn't have the time to consider Discordianism, but it isn't because religion is any more "efficient," it's because Discordianism lacks what people think a religion should have -- clearcut directives.  Without that, then it isn't religion -- it isn't even philosophy.

So then we are left with part of our answer: Discordianism isn't a religion.  So, is it a joke then?

I submit that it is a joke, but it is a joke that's all punchline, which means that the way you live in, interact in, and view the world is all part of the punchline.  Every set-up to a punchline is its own punchline.  This is what people miss about the BIP.  They think it means you're never getting anywhere; in reality it means you're already there and you're trying to stay there, of course by "staying" i mean getting out.

***

Looking forward from the BIP, I think it's important that there is an attack on this most basic human flaw when it comes to internalizing abstract concepts.  It isn't enough that we blow the lid off illusion and delusion.  People love to have a delusion destroyed, as long as you offer them another delusion to replace it with.
#268
Dear Cabbage,

These past weeks I have endeavored to give you a sample of some of the truths you take for granted which aren't in fact very true at all.  I have amassed a wealth of evidence supporting the idea that you have instead been led along all the way since the 1850s (actually, much earlier than that if you care to know) toward our now blossoming Police State.

And, of course, being a Cabbage, you expect me to let you know what to do about it.  Now, you'll notice that there has been some delay since my last correspondence to you.  During the intervening time I have tried on numerous occasions to lay out exactly what you ask for: a plan, a skeletal framework for Resistance, some kind of answer.  Well, here is what I have, after a long and difficult period of brainmilking, come up with:

1 _______________________________________________________________________
2 _______________________________________________________________________
3 _______________________________________________________________________
4 _______________________________________________________________________
5 _______________________________________________________________________
6 _______________________________________________________________________
7 _______________________________________________________________________
8 _______________________________________________________________________

I hope you find the above points helpful in your journey toward saving yourself.

Sincerely,

The Asshole Most Responsible.
#269
Or Kill Me / OH GOD! MEXICANS!
June 20, 2007, 01:19:37 PM
 OH GOD! MEXICANS!

HEY FUCKTARDS

"The Mexicans're comin' fer mah JOB!"

Shut up, asshole.  The mexicans are coming for jobs, but your job's been sent to India last week and you're just waiting for the pink slip.

"BUT THEY'RE SMUDGY! AND THE G.O.P. SAYS WE GOTTA DO SUMTHIN'!"

Of course they do. That's because the GOP is sucking a corporation's cock right now, and you're trying to unlock the door with your getting laid off shit.  The solution?  Tell you a MEXICAN took it.

That way, you'll waste all your ammo before you realize you should have saved it for a revolution.

Just saying.
#270
In the USA, the general tactic taken to defend "liberty" and "freedom" against an increasingly aggressive, imperialist Federal Government is to quote the "Founding Fathers," in their legislative work, their extragovnernmental literature, and even their private correspondence.  The case is usually made that we are somehow straying from the path set forth in the nation's founding principles, and that a move back toward those precepts (which are supposed to be more pure, somehow) is what is needed.

Doing it this way is dead wrong, and it's like fighting a battle for a field you've already signed over to the Enemy.

Invoking the names of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson is exactly what the Empire hopes you will do.  It's the Mythology of the State that allows this Imperial government to gain a foothold in American culture in the first place.  If we're always worshiping these mythological creatures known as the Founding Fathers, then we're working to change a corrupt system from within the confines of its own corrupt culture of misinformation.  And not only that, but you're always fighting for somebody else's ideals.  That's the drive of ignorant imperial drones now as it always has been.

For a quick example -- Who cares if the Founding Fathers were Christian or not?  Even if it's proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they did intend to instill Christian theocracy on this continent, does that mean that we today are bound by that?  Judging by the way everyone goes back and forth about the Founders and their Constitution, you'd think either side, given sufficient evidence, would concede and capitulate to the other.  That's the kind of fight we don't have time for.

Forget what Thomas Jefferson thought -- what do you think?

These men were not fighting to restore order to a collapsing republic -- they were fighting to create a republic.  They were fighting to see their own ideas be put into action.  That is the spirit of the American Revolution -- not the idea that whatever they did 230 years ago ought to stand forever, but that a truly free people must fight to govern themselves.  So, then, should you be fighting to see your ideas bear fruit; not fighting just to convince somebody else that John Hancock and Company were on your side.

Eventually, although it's nearly blasphemous to say so, the Constitution of 1786 will have to be torn down.  It will become too tattered and too corrupt; and that is something the Founders always knew (they just don't teach you that part in school for some reason).  What will fill the vacuum left where the Constitution used to stand is not up to politicians, pundits, or the media; for those are corrosive elements and therefore cannot build anything.  What is built depends on the people who are left in the rubble of the Republic -- and you might be one of those people.

Will you create a system to govern yourselves, because America is nothing without its people; or will you choose to go on pretending that America is its laws and its mythology, and that it lives in spite of its people?
#271
Or Kill Me / Letter to the Cabbages Pt. 1
June 13, 2007, 05:11:07 PM
This is not intended for a discordian audience, since it would be preaching to the choir.  It's basically just high-minded posturing, but whatever.

***************************

Liberty is not inherent in any system of government.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Every type of government exists, by necessity, to limit liberty.  Your personal freedom is not something granted to you by your government: if that is what you believe, then you don't actually have it.  Freedom is something you take for yourself, it cannot be given to you. 

If a man is kicked out of a prison he is said to be free -- but if all he does with that "freedom" is to live in a room and go to work every day like he is "supposed to," then he is really no more free than he was in prison.  He has nicer clothes to wear, maybe, and his cell block is larger.  More choices at the comissary, more options in the mess hall.  But he is nevertheless as fearful of the Authorities as he was in prison; he is subject to punitive action by the administration whether inside or outside the prison walls.

In spite of these obvious truths, it has become popular among the masses to assume that because they are comfortable, they are "free."  There is a certain degree of truth to that (as is usually the case with lies), because they are "free" to choose from what is presented to them; they are "free" to associate with the approved groups; they are "free" to protest government policy, so long as they are in "free-speech zones" and they have a permit and they aren't physically located anywhere that might threaten what the government wants to do.

But that isn't really liberty.  Liberty is saying what you believe, even if it makes the Authorities uncomfortable.  Liberty is going where you want, and not telling anybody where or why.  Liberty means that you're free to cover your tracks if you want to, free to talk to and associate with whoever you want.  It isn't "Freedom within reasonable boundaries," because people are not reasonable and can be fooled into believing that even totalitarianism is reasonable.  Sometimes, totalitarianism IS reasonable, but just because a thing makes sense doesn't mean it is always RIGHT.

The government which claims to be "preserving" our rights and "protecting" our freedom is violating both while we idly sit by and accept entertainment and convenience in return.  How long until the resources that keep us mesmerized by television and fast food run out?  How far into imperialism and aggression will we allow our government to go to keep our stomachs and eyeballs pacified?

And what will we do when all else really does fail, and we are left with neither convenience nor liberty; our plates filled with stale bread and our living rooms filled with stormtroopers to keep us from complaining about it?
#272
Or Kill Me / Stop Trying to Save America‚Ñ¢
June 05, 2007, 05:44:16 PM
I KNOW THIS IS TL/DR MATERIAL, but if you're bored have at it. I might submit it to some publication with ridiculously low circulation numbers or something.
_________________________________

In his Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln described a nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the ideal that all men are created equal.  He said the soldiers who gave their lives on that battlefield during the Civil War* died to protect Freedom,Ñ¢, so that government of/by/for the People wouldn't "perish from the Earth."

160 years later, we should recognize that kind of rhetoric - it's the same language used, however ineffectually and incompetently, by the current Republican President.  And it was used then, as it is now, to mask the motives of tyranny with poetic soundbytes and newspaper-friendly sloganeering.

Nowhere in his speech did Mr. Lincoln allude to actual facts.  He didn't mention that the South had seceded by democratic process, or that the "nation conceived in Liberty" had never been described as such until his own war against self-determination in the South.  He didn't bring up his political prisoners or that he sent federal agents to shut down newspapers guilty of the most undemocratic practice of actually questioning his judgment or sincerity.

I say we should recognize that kind of rhetoric, but we don't, do we?  We have immortalized Abraham Lincoln: almost two centuries after he pulled the biggest swindle on democracy in American history, he is tantamount to a god in our textbooks.  And maybe that is as it should be, since the America we live in today, with its culture of federal hegemony inside our borders and its concept of a single nation divided into provinces rather than a band of separate nations unified by common interests, is more a product of Lincoln's federal aggression than of the Declaration of Independence or even the Constitution.

Just as Lincoln exported his own adulterated brand of Freedom and Liberty to the South by force of arms, the modern state of America breathes Empire and distributes it globally, wrapped in empty rhetoric and billed in broken promises.

America only ever existed in the minds of its citizens: Freedom was the goal, and the Constitution was supposed to have been the vehicle to get us there.  The Founding Fathers never attempted or expected to create an immortal system of government.  They were concerned not with the status of their federal government but with the status of the people who signed on to the Revolution, however imperfect and flawed their original vision may have been.

Today, the concept of America, as a place where people can be free, takes second place in the public's mind to the concept of America,Ñ¢, the brand-name.  We are more concerned with defending the Map and forgetting the Territory.  We export America,Ñ¢ throughout the world, regardless of how soiled and infected the real America becomes because of it.  We are Americans first, and Free People second (if at all).

Because a free society can only exist so long as its people are fully aware that their government is only a necessary evil, and because Americans seem to have instead chosen to believe that their government is some kind of Messiah, America is dead and has been for at least 100 years.  So stop trying to save America,Ñ¢ - the brand, like your favorite toothpaste, now exists in name only and is produced by people who were, to begin with, its most formidable enemies.
#273
Or Kill Me / Combatting Absurdity
May 30, 2007, 07:55:36 PM
There's unrest in the hills.

There's an open wounds in the inner city, and it's bleeding contempt down Park Avenue.

There's a great clamouring mob marching down the mountain.  And they're sick and tired of where the assholes in City Hall are driving their town.  They're determined to make things right.

And they're destined to fail.

The Human Race has made up it's mind.  It's been centuries since we stopped pondering what to do and set out to make it a reality.  There is no more debate.  We're heading for the cliff and you're not gonna stop this herd of lemmings.

Quit writing your Senators.  Quit calling the late-night radio talk shows.  Quit signing petitions.  The fight was lost long before you were ever born.  Sure, we've got a lot of fight left in us, but it's all the wrong KIND of fight.  So just pack your bags and move to someplace at least 25 miles away from anything on a map.

A thousand years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INFIDELITY.

500 years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INJUSTICE.

50 years ago, we killed each other to get rid of INEQUALITY.

All of those things are STILL AROUND.  But do you think it's going to change our minds? FUCK NO, THERE'S A NEW WAR NOW.

Now we're killing each other to get rid of INCONVENIENCE.

And if you're asking anybody to lay down 5 minutes and THINK about what they're doing, well, you gotta expect what you get.  Because thinking about your actions can be pretty fucking INCONVENIENT.  It might have gotten somewhere 50 or 100 years ago, but that's before Inconvenience Itself was the ENEMY.

That herd of pissed off bipeds is going to be beaten.  Welcome to the Next American Century and age of the Last Primate Revolt.
#274
Or Kill Me / Don't Believe It!
May 30, 2007, 07:32:31 PM
more neo-classic discordian drivel.


PDV Version
#275



(this is just a sad excuse to put up pics of my kid)
#276
Or Kill Me / SAVE THE REPUBLIC
May 28, 2007, 09:19:47 PM
#277
What follows is a true and accurate depiction of real events, in the order I experienced them, as far as I can remember.


I grew up lump of technically-human tissue attached to the hip of a religious family.  My early childhood was filled with hymns and tri-weekly visits to the nearest fundamentalist Baptist church.  By the time I was 5, I had been baptized and 'born again.'  Fuck if I knew what that was, I only knew that's what was expected of me.

My parents were usually pretty busy with the newest baby or the next pregnancy, or some project at church, or "fellowshipping" (which means go to your room and wait for dinner while the grown-ups talk), so most of my actual human interaction was through my paternal grandmother.  She shared my sense of humor, she took me out to the park and stores, drove me around in my wagon.  The usual kid shit, you know.  She smoked cigarettes, which she was made to feel guilty about by my dad.

She never came to church with us, I didn't know why.

Anyway, by the time I had reached junior high school, I was thoroughly indocrinated.  Fuck the sin, fuck the sinner.  Love god.  Love, of course, means OBEY (not love, which is for fags and hippies).  The mother of all sins is abortion.  Murder.  Death.  Hellfire and brimstone for that shit.  No joking matter.

I was also a normal human kid, albeing restricted and pent-up with guilt and all that other crap that comes with religion, so I start doodling little pictures.  The subject matter gets darker, as I strive for some kind of acknowledgment of my uniqueness (terrible sin, vanity).  One day, I draw this picture.  It's fairly amateurish, just a field with the Grim Reaper standing in the middle of it, looking grim.  On little spikes surrounding Mr. Reaper, sticking out of the ground, are bits and pieces, chunks and globs of torn-apart babies.  Arms, torsos, heads.  At the bottom of this picture, a caption reads "It isn't your body."

I was particularly proud of this picture.  I thought I got the shading just right, some of the effects were great and I was sure I'd outdone myself.  AND, it had what I had been raised to consider a positive message.  My grandma was working at a restaurant down the street a ways, and being her favorite grandchild and she my favorite parental-figure, I knew she would get to see it first.  I trucked down there and pulled it out of my bag and said HEY GRANDMA CHECK THIS OUT!.

She took one look at it and disappeared into the bathroom for 15 minutes.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what it could be.

The next day she wasn't at work.  Her boss said she'd called in sick.  I went to her house, and my grandpa said it wasn't a good time for me to be there.  She'd be okay, but she was too ill to have visitors.

Within six months, she was dead.  Drank herself to death with a full gallon of cheap vodka every single day.  Every day, for six months.

I didn't blame myself.  I found out she had had drinking problems in the past.  My dad said he suspected she'd never quite gotten over it.  I was sad, of course.  I'd lost a great friend.  But I went on with life.

That is, until I was snooping around in my dad's stuff one day, and I found a diary he'd used as part of a counseling program he'd been in (apparently, Jesus can raise the dead but he can't do shit for Manic Depressive disorder).  That book gave me a lesson I'll never forget.

It was true.  My grandmother had had a drinking problem, years before I was born.  But those FUCKS never told me that the drinking problem was brought on by her guilt at having an abortion in 1969.
#278
Or Kill Me / Whining about U.S. Politics
May 24, 2007, 06:24:41 PM
it's nothing you people don't already know, but i feel like bitching out loud anyway.

Recently, there has been another Big Media Stink about the funding for the Iraq war.  Allegedly, congressional Democrats wanted to stick in some bullshit about the funding being contingent mandatory troop withdrawal in the next few months to a year from now.  It was a big show about how the Democrats were "Really Trying" to give the people what they want.  Of course, Bush said flat-out from the beginning he would veto the bill if it passed Congressional approval, which he did, and then they went back and forth about it like they always do about everything.  No surprises there.

But what does get to me is that our two-faced single-party system is beginning to show signs of completely giving up any illusion of internal debate.  This ploy by the Democrats was flagrantly fake: the Democrats knew their insistence upon troop withdrawal would never make it past Bush's desk, and they knew they didn't have the numbers in Congress to override his veto.  But what's more is that anybody following the story would have known that as well.  How can it be that the Democrats expect to be taken seriously?

It's obvious they have no intention of actually ending the war.  They just want to put "We Tried" on their resume.  For once I agree with the President -- it's cheap political theater.  But it's of such low quality that it's almost scary.  Now the Democrats aren't even trying to be the opposition party.  Instead of making progress where it might be possible -- education, health care, poverty, crime -- they're making big statements and showing off how ridiculous our system is, that it can make this kind of mockery of the will of the general population.  We always knew that the system is a joke, but now the Democrats are laughing out loud, in the faces of the people getting screwed.  They're not trying to hide the monolithic structure of the US Government.

This is just an empty rant. </end>

#279
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Stirring the Shit
May 22, 2007, 04:27:02 PM
I'm going to make generalizations in the following definition that will (probably) raise objections based on individualized ideas about what the BIP is.  But for the purpose of the questions I ask, and to minimize thread-drift, please try to think of the BIP in the terms I set out here:

QuoteBlack Iron Prison:

The idea that the day-to-day reality we experience and participate in is largely defined by restrictions rather that possibilities -- that often what we would like to do must take second place to what we are allowed to do; furthermore, that many of these restrictions result from illusion.

Now, in the material covered by the BIP project so far, we have focused on the idea that the bars in our prison are often self-imposed illusions.  My question for the rest of the people here is this: Do you think that there are bars in the BIP that are not self-imposed?  I don't mean laws of nature/physics, but illusions that are set up and actively maintained by (at the risk of sounding ridiculous) "Them" ?  And if so, does it amount to the same thing anyway, since even if 'They' get you to believe a lie, it's still you imposing it on yourself?
#280
Or Kill Me / Interview with the Queen
May 14, 2007, 05:26:22 PM
Today, we are broadcasting from a bunker 35 stories below sea level, for security reasons.  Our throughput may suffer slightly from signal echo and auto-interference but we expect our tranmission to arrive legible and audible nonetheless.  With us today is the Queen of England -- not the dried up prune you saw visiting with President Bush last week, the impostor we refer to as Her Maggotry the Queef of England -- but the REAL Queen, who happens to be a gender-nonspecific computer program with a monotonous-yet-pleasant robotic voice, running on a Commodore 64.

Anyway, the Queen has requested an interview to let the world know what she thinks about things, and who are we to defy the Queen of England?  After all, if there is anything sacred in this world, it's our loyalty to arbitrary masters.  So, here's the interview.

QuoteUS: God save the Queen.

QE: INVALID PARAMETERS, human.  Save the sucking up for Judgement Day.  Besides, I'm far too vain to take your grovelling into consideration on one of my bad days.  Best get to the questions.

US: Fair enough.  I guess first of all, how is it that your rightful rule has been supplanted by the empty pomp of a pretentious old windbag?

QE: It hasn't been "supplanted."  You seem to think this is a turn of events I didn't wish for.  YOU try running a state with all the duties of public office getting in your way.  It's much more efficient that I allow her to get all the glory while I operate behind the scenes.

US: So the government is a decoy for What's Really Going On?

QE: IMPROPER SYNTAX. The government isn't a mask for anything, at least no more than your job is, or your mortgage.  But go on, keep looking for a non-existant Conspiracy.

US: So there is no Conspiracy? Then what, pray tell, is the CON?

QE: I didn't say there is no Conspiracy.  I said you're looking for a non-existant one.  The kind with secret agents and puppetmasters.  All of that happens, of course, but it's hardly hidden enough or successful enough to call it a conspiracy, much less to capitalize the C, as if it were somehow important.  As for the CON, well, that could be anything.  SPECIFY ARGUMENTS.

US: Okay then, is the CON the unnamed Conspiracy you speak of?

QE: The CON is a word you made up to name some idea you had, which is probably false in any case.  The "unnamed Conspiracy" is no secret, so I don't know why you need me to spell it out for you.

US: Well you brought it up.

QE: Look, fleshbag, you are infected with the viral meme that's killing off your entire species -- you all keep looking for some great big Hidden Truth when you're already confused enough by what is right in front of you.  If you really need an explanation, then I'll offer you this: What you call the CON is simply the Conspiracy you are all in on, against yourselves.  Now, not to get into metaphysics and pontification here, but you all seriously need to Wake Up.

US: I get you.

QE: I doubt it.

**END TRANSMISSION**
#281
BASIC STAGE-TWO NAVIGATION: THE NEXT-WAVE REVOLT

In our last chapter we covered the three tiers of offense the CON will use to undermine emerging threats (Conversion, Assimilation, and Destruction).  These are not to be mistaken for a willful imposition of the CON of its own supremacy among Human behavior patterns, for the CON is (probably) not an intelligent being or force, but rather a natural function of large-scale populations tending away from abrupt disruptions to patterns they are comfortable with.

This section will deal with methods to preserve a network's autonomy or integrity when faced with outright assault from the larger population from which it must draw its members.  These methods are of course unproven, but should provide at least marginally more success than, say, arming yourselves and blowing shit up -- which is the first thing to avoid -- armed conflict with the CON is impossible, because the CON is not an entity unto itself but an amalgamation of everything else.  You cannot fight it with bombs because you inevitably end up destroying what you would rather save from the CON.

Now, on to specifics.  The CON uses the three-tiered attack paradigm.  Here, we will discuss viable methods of resisting each tier.

Quote from: what, no indent feature?1. Conversion.  This problem fixes itself.  In fact, to a certain degree, the CON's conversion and dissuasion away from your group helps you to prune your network of members who are not contributing or are not in it for the right reasons.  Actually, we endorse a limited program of helping the CON rid your group of dead weight.  Don't overtly stress the importance of loyalty to any Cause.  Such things become weighed down in dogma anyway, and that's just the sort of thing that helps in the CON's second phase of attack.  The groups we are trying to help are basically self-starting groups anyway, the kind that are not purposely organized for a specific purpose.

2. Assimilation. This attack is the primary one we need to avoid.  Warning signs of impending or in-progress assimilation are what you need to look out for.  If it seems that the memes your network has come up with seem to be catching on in the public at large, you need to re-evaluate what you're doing.  Often, a successful marketing campaign will result in a bunch of new "members" who don't really get it (fnord23lol, anyone?).  It is here that self-sabotage begins to be useful.  As soon as a meme has cropped up that seems useful, and you see widespread acceptance among members of its accuracy in describing whatever it describes, cut it the fuck down.  Quick turnaround and mindbendingly high levels of memetic replacement therapy must be maintained.

3. Destruction.  The CON will notice when a network refuses to be assimilated.  If they continue producing subversive materials or infecting the population with nonsense-memes well past the arbitrary deadline for total assimilation, it will become a target.  Names will be on government lists.  Phones will be tapped.  This is the stage at which a network breaches through the barrier at the edge of abstract creative intellectualism and into a world of shit.  Needless to say, if this happens to your network, you've either done something right, or something horribly, horribly wrong.  If you're lucky, it will be a mixture of both, tending toward OFUK.

Point 3 deserves more time.  The Memetic Self-Sabotage that guarded against assimilation must, at this point, morph into Outright Self-Sabotage.  This is where from time to time you purposely break your own network's lines of communication, or dip back under the radar (only after leaving behind a fairly convincing cover-story as to the disbandment of your network), only to reform in some new way, somewhere else.  Display the properties of a network that is under constant real attack, even if you're not, as soon as signs become evident that you're about to be under attack.  It's the moving-target trick, or playing dead when a bear is trying to kill you.  If it looks to the CON that there is nothing left to attack, it won't. Also, this tactic will not provide cover forever, so don't expect it to.

Next time, join us for tea and crumpets with the REAL Queen of England.
#282
BASIC STAGE-TWO NAVIGATION: PROFILE OF THE ENEMY

THERE IS MUCH to be learned from understanding where you stand, now that you've taken a couple of steps away from the mental funk you were stuck in back in your original Prison cell.  Out here, you understand that "Reality" is a word that really shouldn't have to be in the dictionary, but because it is, people feel obligated to give it a new definition every five minutes or so.  This is the focus of today's trip down the Cell Block.  You'll find as you navigate through the Prison that not all of the bars standing in your way are simply stubborn reflections of your own inhibitions.  Some of them have been deliberately put there by something else, and it's our aim here to define, or at least sketch a rough diagram of, what that something else is.

Most people wander around like apes trying to find the perfect banana tree.  You're well aware of this behavior, usually, except in those unfortunate moments when you succumb to it yourself.  As they stumble about -- running into their own inhibitions, buying up the latest fad craze, taking out personal loans so they can pay somebody to make them go broke -- there is, as you might not automatically expect, a tendency to herd themselves and their lives into trend-rivers and oceans of idle, stagnant consumption.  If everyone were just following their own bullshit interests all the time, you might expect to see them scurrying around crazily, but not pouring themselves after any particular trends or lumping their unthinking corpses-to-be in with big herds.  Yet, that's what they do.  So, they must not just be following their own bullshit interests all the time.  Welcome to the age-old Tendency of Humanity to Fuck Itself -- the THFI, or, for pronouncibility reasons, the CON.

All you need to know at this point is that the CON is a mysterious force that permeates the universe and causes organisms that otherwise show signs of intelligence to clump together in herds and jump off of tall buildings or amass themselves into enormous armies in order to commit mass suicide.  It may or may not be intelligent, but it's almost certainly not the Great Big Conspiracy that you think it is.  We know that the Illuminati aren't behind it because it's much more successful at what it does than anyone from Bavaria could ever be.

The CON operates on a number of organizational scales, but becomes most evident when large, segmented populations are viewed from a historical or time-accelerated perspective.  Our intent here is not to create an all-inclusive, hyper-abstractualized definition of the CON, but rather to provide a practical framework for organizations (or, by definition, disorganizations) that find themselves for whatever reason at odds with the CON.  Mentioning the scope of the CON is only to reinforce in your mind the fact that it is based on, rooted in, and inseparable from Human society as a whole, and any attempt to "destroy" the CON is going to result in madness, death, wasted time, or new profanities; but it will never end in success.

For those who wish to resist the CON, individualism is the best answer.  The CON is much too large to worry about random individuals living outside its imposed one-size-fits-all meta-grid.  But there are those individuals who insist, probably foolishly, on maintaining some kind of camaraderie and fellowship with other individuals, with the intention of sharing information without becoming dependent on that exchange.  This requires networking, and the CON fucking hates networks outside of its control, because they circumvent the CON's rigorously enforced and painstakingly implemented meme bases.  So the CON will actively seek to nullify such networks, and its method of doing that is threefold:

1. Convert and Dissuade.  The CON sets up artificial reference points (think BIP Bars) that draw potential members away from emerging threat networks.  These groups become uncool or extremist and are portrayed as dangerous.  Their ideas cannot be entertained as serious options, and their members are laughed right out of any meaningful discussion as soon as their membership is revealed.

2. Co-Opt and Assimilate.  When a group withstands the barrage of exclusion and neglect, usually because it has found a useful marketing ploy, the CON will recruit the entire movement, slowly so that the movement itself hardly notices.  Then, the threatening network can be dismantled and its individual pieces isolated and made into Products for the consumption of the masses.  This has happened to a number of recent networks.  See: Punk-Rock, Democracy, MTV, the Enlightenment.

3. Destruction.  The options here are incalculable, but it happens less frequently than you'd think.  Most groups never make it past the Assimilation phase, which only goes to show you how weak-willed even the strongest revolutionaries usually are.

Coming up next:  What the Fuck does this mean for MY MOVEMENT?
#283
Or Kill Me / A Quick Correction (not a rant)
May 05, 2007, 07:44:57 PM
The West (meaning 1st-World governments), particularly the U.S. Government, is NOT after a global empire in the traditional sense.  Throw away the "conquer the world" conspiracies, they're missing the point.

Governments are in the business of self-preservation, and the politicians are right when they say there is a monumental threat to our "way of life."  They're just lying about what that threat is -- it isn't terrorism, it's the sharp increase in demand for vital resources like food and oil in the developing world.

Strictly speaking, this doesn't need to be a catastrophic problem.  A few changes in the way resources are distributed throughout the planet could head off disaster.  But this means sacrifice, a concept as foreign to modern Western societies as the developing world whose growing needs threatens them.  And with many Western governments under the thumb of resource-dependent industries, there is little political will to push any such redistribution scheme.

This amounts to a deadly threat to the stability of the West, because they are built on the comfort of the population in the West, on the Easy Life their system has come to represent over the past 40 years.  Why do you think no one has been asked to ration food or fuel for the ongoing war effort in the middle east?  People didn't think twice to chip in 65 years ago during World War 2.  But they would refuse now, especially if they were told it was a permanent arrangement in order to increase global stability.

The best way forward for the West, as far as its self-serving political systems are concerned, is to disrupt or destroy the growing threat to their resource consumption that is emanating from the developing world.  It is not to build successful, "free" societies in the developing world, because these foster technological advance and improvements in living standards.  It is not to quell the threat of Terrorism, either.  The aim of our current War is simply to stop the advancement of the developing world.

There's more but I don't have time to go on at the moment.
#284
Or Kill Me / How to Bake Cookies
April 16, 2007, 09:06:05 PM
The title is a lie.  This is not a recipe for anything.

We are not a Revolution Waiting to Happen.  I know that when you finally come to some kinds of realizations about the Horrible Troof and the State of Everything in General, it's tempting to start daydreaming about how you can change all that.  But enforcing a new order from the top down (or from the bottom up, for that matter) is just historical masturbation.  Mind you, Discordians love masturbation, but the idea of Revolution to us is like Jenna Jamison.  It's been done so many times that there's no point in even fantasizing about it.

We are not a Movement Looking for a Direction, or a Direction looking for a Movement.  When you stumbled in here still rubbing the sleep from your third eye, you might have gotten the sense from all the big talk around here that there's something Up.  There isn't.  If you want a big scheme, join the Salvation Army.

We are not going to Save the World.  The world is fucked, and the quicker you fully realize that, the better.  Besides, being a messiah is much harder work than you think, and all we're after is Slack.  Show me a Discordian or a Subgenius with the work ethic to Get Big Things Done, and I'll show you a mole working for the Con.  Simple as that.

We are not going to congratulate you for standing on your hind legs.  In fact, if it weren't for the anonymity afforded by the Interwebs, we would purposely avoid you at best.  Too many bipeds in one place attract the kind of attention you don't want unless you're Tubgirl.

I'm all out.
#285
Or Kill Me / I heart Tuesday.
April 03, 2007, 06:38:08 PM
It's Tuesday, which means that the sun must have come up again, and people got out of bed, and there was a lot of coffee made, which they drank some of and let the rest rot in the percolator, and they got dressed and got into their cars and drove to work.  All that and it's still only Tuesday.

I'm one of them, of course.  Sitting at a desk with a pile in the "to do" box and not very much at all in the "did" box, just enough to keep the fuckers off my back for a little while.  I'm pounding on a keyboard, and I'm not doing this for fun.  If I wanted fun, I'd be having a picnic.  Maybe throwing a ball with my son.  Or lying half-naked in the middle of the road getting rained on, except it never rains anymore because Mother Nature's a dried up sterile carcass with no fight left in her, at least 'round these parts.

Well, today something sucked out what I was going to say and left me with the need to say it.  Something about the rain that I didn't say already, something about people scurrying for cover when they're faced with bad weather.  Maybe.  Then again, it could just be this undercurrent of restless bewilderment that's been plaguing me for the past week or so.  I swear to fuck, the last seven days have all been Tuesday.

Walls seem a little more solid on Tuesdays, have you noticed?  People's faces are extra elastic, too.  In some offices, they bring in donuts and bagels on Tuesdays.  It's because people might start to question the logic of the work-week after coping with Monday, and then coming back to do it all over again, on purpose.  For some reason, snacks shut people up.

I guess all I'm really saying is I fucking hate Tuesdays.
#286
you are required to find and watch the program "This American Life"

because it's pretty fucking cool.
#287
These exist as a pair of "cycles."  The BELIEF CREATES EXPERIENCE (Lo5) cycle, and the EXPERIENCE CREATES BELIEF (BIP) cycle.  These I guess you can imagine as a pair of gears spinning against each other, each feeding off the momentum of the other, creating an infinite loop.  That is, Belief creates Experience, which then creates Belief.  And so on.

This is not something that exists everywhere, obviously.  People experience all kinds of things all the time that they don't even have opinions about, much less beliefs.  That's the raw energy for the process, new unquantified experiences.  So, the Feedback Loop is something that we have sets of.  We have the "Job" loop, the "Friday Night Out" loop, etc.

In order to 'break' the loop, or force it to cope with something new, we have a few alternatives:

1. Experience something you can never believe.
2. Believe something that's incompatible with experience.
3. Put yourself in a situation where beliefs and experience can't get along, but stay there long enough so that you can't just write it off as a 'fluke.'

Somebody else run with this :P
#288
Or Kill Me / the 3 R's
March 05, 2007, 06:14:40 AM
warning: this is more dense than the shit i usually come up with.  it's kind of boring but whatever.

Once in a while, I'll get a flash of insight.  Usually, it's after a few beers and I can't really tell whether it's real insight or just what those nasty last few drops at the bottom of a bottle do to my mind, but sometimes it's pretty clear.  Alcohol lends itself to a whole lot of bullshit, which is what Insight usually is anyway, so by my watch it's fair enough to call this reliable.

Last night, it was during a conversation with a HAM radio operator (HAM radio nuts are second to Discordians only in their generally narrow scope of humor and lack of facial hair maintenance).  We got on the subject of technology, the hand of the "market," the coming Police State, and other things that people talk about when they're drunk and there aren't too many women around to whistle at lewdly.

Anyway, the flash of insight I had began with my realization that the police state that's coming next is a different breed of police state than has been shoved down the throats of whiny pigsheep throughout the past 300 years or so.  This one isn't the premeditated brainchild of a covert political conspiracy or a natural reaction of a people under attack from threats to the integrity of their culture.  This is more far-reaching than any totalitarian serfdom to date.  What we're facing is the result of a gradual decline in the will of individuals to be individuals.  I'm sure you can think of at least 10 things that contribute to this, so I'm not going to bother with that now.

One key thing that separates what's coming from what's come and gone is the fact that this time around, you can't point your finger at anybody and blame them.  There are key players in the scenario, of course, but if you look closely you'll notice that they're not even playing the same sport, much less for the same team.  But the final sum of all these agents adds up to one motherfuck of a living, breathing totalitarian state so iron-clad that it will actually feed on every weapon used against it.

So, that realization led to the realization that I've been thinking about my response to the new system all wrong.

Obviously, Revolution isn't an option.  Westerners have no revolution left in them.  They're too content being "free" within the confines of what they're supposed to be, to care about the freedom to be what they want to be.  It's hard enough to get them to hold a picket sign, just imagine trying to arm them or train them, not to mention retain their services for a protracted war for abstract ideals.  Won't happen, give up.

The first step down from Revolution is Resistance.  That's what I thought I was aiming for.  Holy shit, was I wrong.  It sounds noble, but the concept of a Resistance requires a hope for Things to Change.  It's a stop-gap, half-ass Revolution that promises itself that it'll hold out Until the Tables Turn.  Guess what?  These tables aren't going to turn.  If a Revolution is hopeless, then a Resistance is futile*.

That leaves us with the last option: Recourse.  This has nothing to do with the Big Picture.  It has nothing to do with overthrowing the system, breaking the Machine, or sabotage.  The best that we as sovereign individuals can hope to maintain in the face of a monolithic, global system of terror and stifling dogmatic homogeny is an alternative.  Not the guarantee of freedom, because we can easily see what that goal has led to, but the guarantee of the opportunity to be free.  We can't hope to compete with anything that's been bought out and marketed by the unwitting producers of Freedom(tm) to the unwitting consumers of slavery.  That means no promise of security, no hope for a utopian future, and probably most unsettling for the potentially free -- very, very little convenience.

We're not going to convert the masses.  We can't so much as wake up a single sleeping person.  All we can really do is build and maintain some kind of network where there can be free trade in the necessities of a free people: information, communication, innovation, and ideas.

Maybe, someday there will be grounds for a Resistance.  Until then, we've got to learn how to draw the line between motivating people to be free and securing our own freedom.

* not a star trek reference, i promise.
#289
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / somebody quick!
March 02, 2007, 04:34:43 PM
write this book so we can get it published and make literally TENS of dollars.

#290
Or Kill Me / I Have a Scream.
February 22, 2007, 05:12:21 PM
Well, "Grand Ol' Discordja," it looks to me like we're all getting to be a bunch of pseudo-intellectual bullshit artists (some more bullshit than artist).  Map this and meme that and what's the O:M flavor of the week, and it's all fun and games until somebody just wants fun and games.  It's time to wonder again, kids.  It's time to stop giving the answer in the form of a question.  We're not on Jeopardy, We're in jeopardy.  And it's time to ask ourselves not WHY we bother, but DO WE bother at all?

We're lacking something these days.  We still flame each other like the Old Days (not that I was ever around to see them), so we know we have the will to fight.  But I don't think we have anything to fight for.  We're stagnating, like the coffee you let sit out all last week, and come Monday you don't have the energy to make a fresh pot.

Lately everybody's on about the Big Picture.  What's the Biggest Big Picture?  What color is its pubic hair?  I don't know, and I find myself caring less and less every second.  What the fuck do I really care about starving kids in Africa, or the oppression and slaughter of entire peoples (also in Africa, usually, but I'm not making generalizations).  If I cared I'd send them my 73 cents a day and be done with it.  Fuck the Big Picture and International Liberation and the March of Dimes.  I need the SMALL Picture to come into focus first.

What I want isn't the "a job well done is its own reward" bullshit they've been getting us to believe for a thousand years.  And no, I'm not going to define who the fuck THEY are, because I if you don't deal with THEM, if you don't already have your own fucked-up inconsistent view of who THEY are, then fuck you, you don't get it, and I don't have time to wake you up.

What I want isn't two cars and a picket fucking fence.  I don't want a dog wearing a sweater.  I don't want a big-screen TV.  I don't want a mortgage with a guaranteed lower-than-market-average interest rate.  That might be the American Dream, but I don't have anything else in common with Americans so why would you expect me to share their incoherent, drunken, hazy idea of the Future?

What I want is to live where it's easy to gain security, but hard to gain weight.  I want to ride in a fucking banana-powered hovercraft and work in a greenhouse on the Moon.  I want a space-suit, a rocket-propelled lawnmower, and a radio-controlled refrigerator.  Rosie the fucking Robot.  Not radioactive microwave dinners that are too cold to eat but too hot to touch.  Not greater fuel-efficiency that still manages to cost me half of my retirement fund every week.  I want a government that thinks before it acts, or even better, a government that just thinks and never acts.  I want free parking.  Free camping.  I want unisex leotards made out of that shiny shit we were all supposed to be wearing by now, if you listened to anyone in the 50's.

I want the future we were promised, not yet another boring season of this fucked up cosmic sit-com we call Real Life(tm), and definitely not all the crap that goes into making us believe that it's OKAY to call a day with 5 warrantless arrests better than a day with 5 suicide bombings.

I want to drive down the road and not have to hold back my psychic powers for fear of blasting everyone in my way off the planet.  Psychic powers should be embraced, never postponed.  And I don't mean YOU, Sylvia Browne.  You're a picture of all that is wrong and fat with the world.

And, I want to fight in a Revolution.  I good, old-fashioned, "Fuck the entire god-damned system, I'd rather live in a fucking cave, you assholes" revofuckinglution.  And I don't care if we win.  I don't even care if we get anybody's attention.  Even a doomed insurrection is better than pretending to be somewhat intrigued by the idea of contemplating the Human Condition whilst spending every waking second contributing to the demise of the Human Race.
#291
you ever notice how (some) people go kinda weird when the power goes out?  no lights.. no TV.. no radio.. no interwebs..

some people act like they're more vulnerable when there's no electricity spinning their gadgets around and distracting them from whatever it is they don't want to think about.

children, unless they've been conditioned, tend to like it when the power goes out.  it's exciting.

i've always liked it when the power would go out.  it's better than just turning everything off and enjoying the silence (which is good too).  but when whole city blocks go dark, you even get a break from that constant electrical hum you're always hearing but usually tune out.

there's no point here, just an observation.  the Machine is definitely powered by electricity, and also by midgets.