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« on: September 19, 2011, 06:29:59 am »
Dear LMNO,
I'm going to say something that most people would consider extremely rude to say to someone who just lost their father but... I seriously hate your guts right now. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. It sounds like you had the best father in existence and that seriously grinds my gears. Do you want to know what the rest of the world had to put up with as fathers? Mine is a humble factory worker who divorces my mom while I was so young that I cannot imagine them in any relationship that rises above basic human decency. He had his heart in the right place most of the time but was well over his head in the parenting department. The only wisdom he imparted to me on his once-every-two-weeks-if-you're-lucky-kid custody agreements was "Son, all women are crazy."*
Meanwhile, fate decided to plop you down in the lap of a Richard Feynman clone who was bad ass enough to attempt to teach you computer science as a toddler and almost succeeded. I would have been honored to have met him once to set in on a lecture or shake his hand at a fancy cocktail party that you east coast liberals are prone to throwing. And you got to see him a majority of the days of your life. In fact, think back to all times he wiped your drool, changed your diapers, taught you how to walk, dropped you off at school, taught you how to ride a bike, walked with you in the woods, taught you how to shave, wiped your drool again as a teenager, taught you how to drive, helped to pay for your honeymoon... (All of these situations are hypothetical. feel free to add and subtract as needed.) He could have just as easily spent that time figuring out the Grand Unified Theory. Or at least made a new super cool looking laser.
So, I think it's time you apologized to us and the world of physics for your selfishness. It's the least you can do at this point.
Lovingly yours,
Iason Ouabache
* - You have to admit that he was correct about this.
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