Keep telling yourself that it's the drugs. Keep that idea close to your fucked-up little heart, do you hear me? It's only the drugs. It's not YOU that can't deal, it's the drugs making you all off-kilter and unable to function normally. The world is fine. It's your head.
Phone's ringing...
\
:cluephone:
On the other hand, maybe it's NOT the drugs. Maybe you started taking them in the first place, just to be able to manage the endless stream of bad signal that is send your way 24/7. Everything you look at, everything you hear, is just another viral idea designed to make you buy a product. Sometimes that product is the odious "Blue Bell Ice Cream", and sometimes that product is the latest clown they've lined up for the oval office/dunking tank that we like to call the presidency.
Phone's ringing...
\
:cluephone:
Maybe the drugs help, maybe they're the cause. Your life shrinks and shrinks until it's work and sleep, work and sleep, WORK AND STARE AT THE CEILING IN HORROR AND DESPAIR until way past your bedtime, listening to the sounds of a sleeping house. What kind of fucking drug would cause THAT, and why would anyone take them?
Phone's ringing, Roger.
\
:cluephone:
And maybe it's the drugs that make the slope down the mountain to Tucson seem like a cliff. Or maybe Tucson's just saying "You've hidden in the suburbs for 4-5 years, and we're here to bring you home." So you smash the front end of your brain with Benzodiazapam to try to forget the cliff and to maybe even forget that benzos were orginally derived from a weaponized hallucinagenic by the name of BZ.
PHONE'S RINGING, ROGER.
\
:cluephone:
Maybe there's just enough time to make my point, and maybe catch my breath for just a moment. Just a few seconds, maybe. Then perhaps my employees and co-workers will stop looking like old Spitting Image puppets, and I can maybe even explain my position to you, the right people.
RING RING RING RING
\
:cluephone:
I gotta go. There's work to be done, and a smile to be worn, in this best of all possible worlds.
Or Kill Me.
:x wait what? I liked the old guy better. The one that looks like this :horrormirth: but without the mirth.
Quote from: Iron Twiddleton on June 25, 2012, 03:52:03 PM
:x wait what? I liked the old guy better. The one that looks like this :horrormirth: but without the mirth.
The old emote had all the wrong values. He couldn't stop laughing, and was eventually beaten to death for being a wiseguy by TSA agents in a small room in the Phoenix airport. So we had to get this guy, who admittedly doesn't have what it takes.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 04:38:33 PM
Quote from: Iron Twiddleton on June 25, 2012, 03:52:03 PM
:x wait what? I liked the old guy better. The one that looks like this :horrormirth: but without the mirth.
The old emote had all the wrong values. He couldn't stop laughing, and was eventually beaten to death for being a wiseguy by TSA agents in a small room in the Phoenix airport. So we had to get this guy, who admittedly doesn't have what it takes.
:horrormirth:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 02:40:33 PM
snip
:mittens:
I feel the second paragraph most strongly suits me. If I have to actually do anything at all where my brain's important and there's going to be the kind of people around that might call the cops if I start screaming death threats at my sidekicks while they quietly giggle at me (only enraging me further), I load up on SOMETHING.
One time, I drank around 2400 mg of caffeine in a single day for lack of anything better at hand. It works, but you don't want to deal with the results.
Believe me. I suppose if you're getting to a certain depth of desperation, you can also TRY to do the same thing with cigarettes. One time I did, but all I got was a bloody hacking cough that incidentally got me out of every lame ass social/"necessary" engagement I had for up to a week afterwards.
Until I lived amongst them, I thought that the alcoholic hobos just had a disease. "They can't help it, they're addicts." No, they're just a SYMPTOM, a symptom of an altogether different disease. The same disease that created me, and that created the post I'm replying to. And they certainly can help it. But that way lies only nightmares and the end state: becoming one of the murderous once-human bogeymen hiding in maintenance tunnels under condemned buildings
1. They drink for the same reason Roger has pills and I have dangerously large doses of caffeine and you have whatever keeps you from screaming into every shadowed corner, just HOPING something leaps out so you can finally put a face to the horror, even if you don't survive the encounter. They drink for health, even though it kills them.
Welcome to the REAL America!, folks.
1 -- That isn't a metaphor. Don't break into condemned buildings.
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:41:35 PM
Until I lived amongst them, I thought that the alcoholic hobos just had a disease. "They can't help it, they're addicts." No, they're just a SYMPTOM, a symptom of an altogether different disease.
There are no causes; only symptoms. And we can deal with those. We have a pill for that, and we'll use it to make you dumb enough that you don't even notice the stress. Dumb & happy, that's why America™ has the BEST STANDARD OF LIVING
1 in the ENTIRE WORLD. Unless you don't LIKE nice things, unless you CHOOSE to be poor, because you hate dressage horsies that Mitt Romney's wife was able to recover $78,000 in "losses" on her and her delightful husband's taxes. If you had the right values, you could have horsies, too.
Or, for that matter, enough to eat and a roof over your head and maybe a little bit of security, finance-wise.
But you don't. You People believe in all the wrong things. You People don't WANT nice stuff. You People want unfurnished cities and whatever it is You People snort or smoke or drink when you gather together in faceless, huddled masses and scare the shit out of Quality People.
1 For Quality People, anyway.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 04:47:41 PM
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:41:35 PM
Until I lived amongst them, I thought that the alcoholic hobos just had a disease. "They can't help it, they're addicts." No, they're just a SYMPTOM, a symptom of an altogether different disease.
There are no causes; only symptoms. And we can deal with those. We have a pill for that, and we'll use it to make you dumb enough that you don't even notice the stress. Dumb & happy, that's why America™ has the BEST STANDARD OF LIVING1 in the ENTIRE WORLD. Unless you don't LIKE nice things, unless you CHOOSE to be poor, because you hate dressage horsies that Mitt Romney's wife was able to recover $78,000 in "losses" on her and her delightful husband's taxes. If you had the right values, you could have horsies, too.
Or, for that matter, enough to eat and a roof over your head and maybe a little bit of security, finance-wise.
But you don't. You People believe in all the wrong things. You People don't WANT nice stuff. You People want unfurnished cities and whatever it is You People snort or smoke or drink when you gather together in faceless, huddled masses and scare the shit out of Quality People.
1 For Quality People, anyway.
I have all the wrong values, that's true, but I grew up among those who A: had all the right values and B: still managed to fail to be Quality People. Clearly, they weren't trying hard enough. But the funny thing is, these shitnacked pantywaists didn't even have the guts to toss the pink bowties and smelly gym socks of civilization off of their otherwise naked forms. They couldn't even become Us People, they were somewhere in between. I lived in between WITH them, Roger.
It's a horrible place. Not only do you have no Fun, assuming you have the wrong values and like the wrong kinds of alcoholic beverage, you have no money either. you have no Nice Things. You're looked down upon by the people who are better off and the people who are worse off (given the hierarchy the Middle Folk
believe in have been indoctrinated with).
I'm glad I got out of there Roger. Nice Things are nice, and maybe if I was patient enough they would have come down the line to me. But Fun is better, and I don't mean parties and controlled substances so much as wild dashes through city streets at 3AM, chasing down some guy who happened to walk past because hey, I need my cardio, don't I?
Even if I'm Us People, we still need our healthy diets and cardiovascular workouts and our transportation, right?
Right?
Actually, I'm beginning to think those things are too Nice for Us People, even. When hotdogs and Pop-Tarts are the only things you can afford to eat once a day, every day, maybe you should just let your arteries go. Those motherfuckers need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps anyway. Can't be babying them forever.
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:59:52 PM
I have all the wrong values, that's true, but I grew up among those who A: had all the right values and B: still managed to fail to be Quality People. Clearly, they weren't trying hard enough. But the funny thing is, these shitnacked pantywaists didn't even have the guts to toss the pink bowties and smelly gym socks of civilization off of their otherwise naked forms. They couldn't even become Us People, they were somewhere in between. I lived in between WITH them, Roger.
Quality People need no excuse. They can be described mathematically, as
Q = M/S * T/D * H*C*DC*1/CN*S
where
Q = Total Quality
M = Money
S = Skin color, with 1 being White and 100 being Black
D = Donations to charity
T = Maximum tax credit for donations
H = Cost of house
C = Cost of cars
DC = Cost of college degree(s)
CN = Number of non-White neighbors
S = Number of servants
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:59:52 PM
I'm glad I got out of there Roger. Nice Things are nice, and maybe if I was patient enough they would have come down the line to me. But Fun is better, and I don't mean parties and controlled substances so much as wild dashes through city streets at 3AM, chasing down some guy who happened to walk past because hey, I need my cardio, don't I?
Stop hating America™
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:59:52 PM
Even if I'm Us People, we still need our healthy diets and cardiovascular workouts and our transportation, right?
Right?
Actually, I'm beginning to think those things are too Nice for Us People, even. When hotdogs and Pop-Tarts are the only things you can afford to eat once a day, every day, maybe you should just let your arteries go. Those motherfuckers need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps anyway. Can't be babying them forever.
Can't be
those people walking.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 05:10:33 PM
snip
This is too much for this early. (Note: it is NEVER late enough for this.)
I'm going to go get some booze and hope the horror of middle-to-upper class America!'s beliefs fades.
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 05:19:34 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 05:10:33 PM
snip
This is too much for this early. (Note: it is NEVER late enough for this.)
I'm going to go get some booze and hope the horror of middle-to-upper class America!'s beliefs fades.
Making the Truth go away for a while with a bottle is not much different than watching Fox News.
Just saying. In fact, that was the whole point.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 05:38:03 PM
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 05:19:34 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 05:10:33 PM
snip
This is too much for this early. (Note: it is NEVER late enough for this.)
I'm going to go get some booze and hope the horror of middle-to-upper class America!'s beliefs fades.
Making the Truth go away for a while with a bottle is not much different than watching Fox News.
Just saying. In fact, that was the whole point.
It can help when you need it to though.
I just never really thought about all those times you don't need it to. Goddamn, fell right into your trap ya cunning old bastard.
11 -- Not to say you were trying to set a trap, per se. More like set me up to see the error of my ways.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 04:47:41 PM
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 04:41:35 PM
Until I lived amongst them, I thought that the alcoholic hobos just had a disease. "They can't help it, they're addicts." No, they're just a SYMPTOM, a symptom of an altogether different disease.
There are no causes; only symptoms. And we can deal with those. We have a pill for that, and we'll use it to make you dumb enough that you don't even notice the stress. Dumb & happy, that's why America™ has the BEST STANDARD OF LIVING1 in the ENTIRE WORLD. Unless you don't LIKE nice things, unless you CHOOSE to be poor, because you hate dressage horsies that Mitt Romney's wife was able to recover $78,000 in "losses" on her and her delightful husband's taxes. If you had the right values, you could have horsies, too.
Or, for that matter, enough to eat and a roof over your head and maybe a little bit of security, finance-wise.
But you don't. You People believe in all the wrong things. You People don't WANT nice stuff. You People want unfurnished cities and whatever it is You People snort or smoke or drink when you gather together in faceless, huddled masses and scare the shit out of Quality People.
1 For Quality People, anyway.
This and the OP = :mittens:
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 05:44:14 PM
It can help when you need it to though.
It can make you THINK it helped. On rare occasions, this is enough. Mostly, though, it results in:
1. Problems slamming back when you're too hung over to deal with them.
2. Depression.
3. Even less money than you had before you bought the booze.
In short, problems all worsen.
I don't drink to drown my problems, because those fuckers are really good swimmers.
I drink to create problems :evil:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 25, 2012, 05:51:56 PM
I don't drink to drown my problems, because those fuckers are really good swimmers.
Amazing, isn't it?
:lulz:
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 25, 2012, 05:53:16 PM
I drink to create problems :evil:
I drink twice a year. When I do, I drink a LOT. It unwinds the spring in my head and makes me extra Holy™, and then I'm sick for a day or two. Problems are still there, but that isn't why I was drinking. I was drinking to let all the mad dog's shit out of my head.
Booze is tricky. You might have a blast, or at least be able to tune out the ugly for a little while and focus on stuff you actually like.
Or it might make you think about all the wrong stuff until you want to go "down the road, not across the street".
It's fun sometimes, but actually kind of a shitty drug.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 05:58:05 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 25, 2012, 05:53:16 PM
I drink to create problems :evil:
I drink twice a year. When I do, I drink a LOT. It unwinds the spring in my head and makes me extra Holy™, and then I'm sick for a day or two. Problems are still there, but that isn't why I was drinking. I was drinking to let all the mad dog's shit out of my head.
Yeah. Sometimes you have to just do that and get the shit out.
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
Seems like I was the only one who didn't Get It. :lulz:
Ah well. It's a learning experience, no matter HOW fucking much I think I fucking know.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on June 25, 2012, 06:07:24 PM
Booze is tricky. You might have a blast, or at least be able to tune out the ugly for a little while and focus on stuff you actually like.
Or it might make you think about all the wrong stuff until you want to go "down the road, not across the street".
It's fun sometimes, but actually kind of a shitty drug.
I use it when I need to be able to walk outside and look like I'm not stark raving mad. Appointments, grocery shopping, visiting the few people I dare call "friends" in this godforsaken mudhole. I use other things too, but booze is legal and a drug that I can dose myself on quite accurately. It's always going to ruin my thinking, but it tends to scramble it in such a way as to short circuit, before anything else, my raving-monologue program which usually kicks in the second I'm away from a computer or a pen and paper for more than 5 minutes.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
When you really want to just cut loose and fuck shit up a shortcut to annihilating every last molecule of common sense and inhibition is handy. The reduction in motor skills and dulling of pain receptors also serves to increase the hilarity. Using any chemical to escape from or forget about problems which you know you should really just be manning up and dealing with seems to be nowhere near as effective.
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
There is no low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson. The bad side of Tucson is Oro Valley.
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
From what I gathered, they mix them with Tucson.
Quote from: 00.dusk on June 25, 2012, 06:16:13 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
From what I gathered, they mix them with Tucson.
Yep. And now the police have Gone Bad again.
My, that cliff is getting steep.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:15:52 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
There is no low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson. The bad side of Tucson is Oro Valley.
Bad according to the Right People.
Although to be fair to them, some guys did steal a tire from my car while it was parked outside my apartment. They left it on a big rock with a note that said "thanks," though. I didn't blame them. Probably needed it more than I did.
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:19:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:15:52 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
There is no low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson. The bad side of Tucson is Oro Valley.
Bad according to the Right Quality People.
Although to be fair to them, some guys did steal a tire from my car while it was parked outside my apartment. They left it on a big rock with a note that said "thanks," though. I didn't blame them. Probably needed it more than I did.
Fixed for accuracy.
In any case, you're lucky that's all they took.
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:19:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:15:52 PM
Quote from: v3x on June 25, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 25, 2012, 06:09:52 PM
Well, there's always the alternative.
"They will NOT make me paranoid! No matter how many hundreds of them try, no matter how they follow me around and record me and spy on me, day in and day out...they will NOT SUCCEED in making me PARANOID! I shall foil them, I swear it!"
- Knuckles, 5 days ago, walking down the street muttering into a tape recorder
They made me paranoid once. I moved into low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson for 6 months, and then I fled the state for 10 years. Now that I'm back in AZ, I find myself avoiding TV like the plague. They mix the airwaves here with something terrible.
There is no low-income housing on the bad side of Tucson. The bad side of Tucson is Oro Valley.
Bad according to the Right People.
Although to be fair to them, some guys did steal a tire from my car while it was parked outside my apartment. They left it on a big rock with a note that said "thanks," though. I didn't blame them. Probably needed it more than I did.
When I was ten and people still got vacations and went on road trips, we got a room in Laredo one night so we could go across the border the next day and shop.
During the night, all four new tires were stolen off my dad's car but whoever did it replaced all of them with bald ones.