Topics

31

Aneristic Illusions / Massachusetts SWAT teams claim their privatized, libertarians wail.

« on: June 27, 2014, 02:18:15 pm »

Apparently this ISN'T the free market they wanted. You wanted the fucking cops to be privatized? This is the result, pencilnecks.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-watch/wp/2014/06/26/massachusetts-swat-teams-claim-theyre-private-corporations-immune-from-open-records-laws/

As it turns out, a number of SWAT teams in the Bay State are operated by what are called law enforcement councils, or LECs. These LECs are funded by several police agencies in a given geographic area and overseen by an executive board, which is usually made up of police chiefs from member police departments. In 2012, for example, the Tewksbury Police Department paid about $4,600 in annual membership dues to the North Eastern Massachusetts Law Enforcement Council, or NEMLEC. (See page 36 of linked PDF.) That LEC has about 50 member agencies. In addition to operating a regional SWAT team, the LECs also facilitate technology and information sharing and oversee other specialized units, such as crime scene investigators and computer crime specialists.

Some of these LECs have also apparently incorporated as 501(c)(3) organizations. And it’s here that we run into problems. According to the ACLU, the LECs are claiming that the 501(c)(3) status means that they’re private corporations, not government agencies. And therefore, they say they’re immune from open records requests. Let’s be clear. These agencies oversee police activities. They employ cops who carry guns, wear badges, collect paychecks provided by taxpayers and have the power to detain, arrest, injure and kill. They operate SWAT teams, which conduct raids on private residences. And yet they say that because they’ve incorporated, they’re immune to Massachusetts open records laws. The state’s residents aren’t permitted to know how often the SWAT teams are used, what they’re used for, what sort of training they get or who they’re primarily used against.

Apparently privatized civil service is only okay if they're government controlled, which defeats the purpose of "small government" amirite?

LOLOLOLOLOL.

This is what happens when Massachusetts tries to be Rhode Island and fails. YOU NEVER GET CAUGHT USING A 501C3 FOR PROTECTION FROM THE GUBMINT!

32

Aneristic Illusions / Boehner to sue Obama for use of Executive Power

« on: June 25, 2014, 05:17:18 pm »

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2014/06/24/boehner-considering-lawsuit-against-obama-over-executive-orders/

House Speaker John Boehner Wednesday told reporters that he plans to sue President Barack Obama over his use of executive action.

"I am," the Speaker said when asked if he was planning to initiate a lawsuit.

"You know the constitution makes it clear that the president’s job is to faithfully execute the laws and in my view the President has not faithfully executed the laws," Boehner added at a news conference on Capitol Hill.

This is going to be hysterical.

33

Apple Talk / Suu teaches the Peedee how to sew.

« on: June 25, 2014, 01:32:04 am »

Step one:

Learn to machine.

34

Discordian Recipes / 5 Colonial Era Drinks

« on: June 23, 2014, 01:03:42 am »

so this came across the book of Faces the other day:
http://drinks.seriouseats.com/2014/04/colonial-era-drinks-cocktails-rum-flip-stonefence-syllabub-rattleskull.html#.U0c4hDbtueE.twitter

Now, being the historian and experimental archaeologist that I am, there's no way in hell I was going to let this slide. So, after some discussion with the husband, we've decided to try all of them. Because we are scientists, ffs.


First up, the easiest one: The Stone Fence.

Rum: Check.
Cider: Check.

I used Cruzan rum, and Stella Artois Cidre, because that's what we have in the house. The Stella cider is a dry apple cider, which would be more similar to a colonial era beverage. The Cruzan I have is a special edition golden rum. I also drank it at cellar temp, not cold.

Taste: Mild and smooth. rum and apples are like bread and butter, I cook with them a lot. I can see the benefits of having a sweeter cider, though. I'm getting notes of vanilla and oak, which could be from the aging process of the rum.

Effects: I felt a buzz pretty fast. Sugar acts as a carrier for alcohol. Drink responsibly.

35

Apple Talk / Presented without comment, straight out of the anti-vaccination movement...

« on: June 11, 2014, 03:33:42 am »

http://www.amazon.com/Melanies-Marvelous-Measles-Stephanie-Messenger/dp/1466938897

Melanie's Marvelous Measles!!!

Melanie’s Marvelous Measles is a book written by Stephanie Messenger who has devoted her life to educating people about vaccines and natural health choices. This book takes children on a journey to learn about vaccinations for childhood illnesses, like measles and chicken pox.

36

Or Kill Me / One Millennial's Experience of a Lifetime.

« on: June 05, 2014, 01:42:08 pm »

(Warning: I spewed this on Facebook in response to the graduation from every grade bullshit. This is what happened, with no coffee.)

Preschool is arguably cute. The kid has no idea what's going on and its 99% for the parents. But when you get into grade school, and you have these step-up ceremonies, what are you teaching your kids? My brother had to repeat 2nd grade, what happens to him? Oh wait, nothing, because of NCLB. You're making these kids entitled, til when they get into middle school, and realize they aren't getting a cookie for advancing to 7th grade, and they're surrounded by kids with uncontrollable hormone changes and the like becoming little balls of hate rage. I know this, I was a little ball of hate rage in middle school, and suddenly there's no more pats on the back or smiley face stickers when you get a C on the math test. Now it's referrals to the office when you blow a fit, and detention, and your parents coming in to yell at the teacher for giving their special snowflake a C in math.

Then finally, they're rewarded with an 8th grade graduation, ya fucking hoo, you got out of the bootcamp that is middle school and we're throwing you into the lion's den.

Now it's no longer a cookie at the end of the year, it's a, "You need to pass or you don't get into college or do anything when you grow up." The pressure is on. Life isn't fun anymore, the kids are mean, you've been rewarded with everything up until now and then suddenly it's all on you. All those trophies they gave you for showing up to soccer don't mean a thing when you try out for the school team and don't make it, because you suck, but you've been told your entire life that you're a WINNER and YOU ARE A STAR! Suddenly, your parents can't help you anymore, the coach laughs in their face when they go to fight for your slot on the soccer team. You're not doing so hot in Algebra 2, which is a requirement for graduation, but you don't ask for help, assuming that your ingrained entitlement will save you. Your parents bitch, but there's nothing they can do, and you're put into remedial math classes to help, which slows down your progress toward a college-ready diploma, and your guidance counselor keeps shoving this in your face. "GET INTO COLLEGE."

That's all she cares about, because it's a statistic. You begin to wonder if college isn't really for you, but you apply and apply, because you were told to do so, and aren't accepted into any of them but the local expensive tech school and the University of Phoenix online, both of which tell you that you need to pay with every student loan you are eligible for or they can't accept you. Frantic, you sign your life away on Promissory Notes and finally walk across the stage. Your parents are so happy, you graduated high school and got into "college." They're telling all of their friends of your great accomplishments, and you seem to coast through whatever online class Phoenix throws at you, because they're designed to be easy so they keep getting more of your money.

In 4 years you have to fly out to Arizona, on your own dime, to walk across the stage or they won't give you your diploma. So you do that, your parents fronting the bill because DIPLOMA TIME AGAIN, and you walk and you get that expensive piece of paper so you can be qualified to work, so you start applying for jobs, because these loans are expensive and you have to pay them off. Unfortunately, a lot of places aren't sure about your degree's accreditation, and continue to pass over your application for others from viable institutions. This depresses you, and you sit at home, your mother comforting you.

Finally, you get a call back, it's a retail position, but it's SOMETHING to "hold you over" until the big one hits, you tell yourself. So you stop applying for other jobs, and just work...for 2 years at minimum wage, with tiny raises here and there to help offset the cost of living, but you're still living at home, because your loans are killing you. You're already behind on payments, and your credit rating is shot, so you can't get a car, or an apartment, not that you could afford one anyway at your meager wages and loan payments. Your parents are getting frustrated, and you know you need to do better. Finally, after 2 years, your boss promotes you to assistant manager. It comes with a raise to $11 an hour, and you immediately become super excited, YOU DID IT!

The next day, you expect to come into work to cake and a party and a ceremony to "step up" to assistant manager, but instead, you find a new set of keys and a stack of paperwork, oh, and one of the employees that was caught stealing from the register. You need to figure this out, you're told, because the manager is playing in a golf tournament today. Holding back tears that you weren't rewarded for your great accomplishment, you perform your duties as requested. Then on the way home, you stop by the gun shop, because you'll show them what you deserve, rightfully! Unfortunately, your credit is too bad to purchase an AR-15, and the tears in your eyes tell the clerk that you probably shouldn't be filling out the forms for a background check right now, anyway.

So you go home, and your mother comforts you again.

Welcome to the American Dream, Special Snowflake.



TL,DR: This is how my mind works on half a cup of coffee 30mins after I wake up.

37

Apple Talk / The greatest fucking movie ever is coming out this summer.

« on: May 20, 2014, 08:38:25 pm »

Somebody took the "Dark Dungeons" Chick Tract, got the rights, and FILMED THE FUCKER.

http://www.wired.com/2014/05/dark-dungeons-movie/

 

For those that have never read the win: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.ASP

38

Apple Talk / Anarchist conference devolves into chaos, hilarity ensues.

« on: May 13, 2014, 01:33:52 pm »

...because it's covered by a libertarian site.

http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/anarchist-conference-devolves-chaos-nsfw/#.U3IePCgVETC

But my favorite part was when the police were called. 

39

Apple Talk / Roger, I have discovered the language of your people.

« on: May 12, 2014, 08:04:17 pm »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqLuIXwsLDw

40

Apple Talk / Jews ordered to register in East Ukraine?

« on: April 17, 2014, 03:31:04 pm »

Posting from my phone, so I'm unsure of what to make of it.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2014/04/17/jews-ordered-to-register-in-east-ukraine/7816951/

41

Apple Talk / Chicago Spags, need advice.

« on: April 16, 2014, 06:41:53 pm »

I'm going to be laid over in Chicago twice on my train ride, each for about 6 hours give or take train delays. I've never been to Chicago, and I'm allowed to check my bag and take in what I can in the area. I know the Building Formerly Known As The Sears Tower isn't far from Union Station, but other than that, I have no idea. I'm open to suggestions, bearing these tidbits in mind:

-I'm on a budget, think college travel budget.
-I'm on a diet, but I may have to splurge for a proper piece of deep dish.
-I'm on a schedule.

I hear that Union Station is an impressive piece of architecture from the days of old school rail travel, so I anticipate to be spending some time just wandering around inside, because that's what I do. But I definitely want to get out and walk around the city for what it's worth. My first layover is next Thursday from about 8:45am to 3pm, and my second layover is Monday the 28th from 3:15pm-9:30pm.

42

Or Kill Me / Eat my fucking gravy.

« on: April 16, 2014, 02:45:51 am »

(copypasta'd from Open Bar du jour)


Apparently I offended people on the Facebook today.

They got offended that I swore like a sailor on one of my SCA groups, so they said it was unfitting a woman of my education to speak such a way, and that I should try harder with a dictionary and thesaurus. So I responded in Latin, and I was called a child-like bitch and blocked.  I even used a dictionary!

I'm offended so many fucking people get offended by me.

No wait, no I'm not, I'm happy, because if you can't handle my extra special rants about seams on a fucking corset, you're not cool enough to be my friend, goddamnit. I've been behaving lately, really, I have, because some folks have found my anger a bit harsh and have asked me to keep things cool, and I have. Really. I started this whole mellow thing of being mellow and taking deep breaths and yoga stretches and shit, and all it does it make me extra flexible with extra hate to go around.

Goddamnit, fuck your goddamn request. Who the fuck are people to come on my goddamn cyber front lawn and picket my anger? What the fuck is this shit? The goddamn Westboro Fucktard Church of Bad Reenactors? Eat shit and die, poseurs, you're talking to the goddamn industry professional. Somebody gave me fucking DIPLOMAS in this shit so I can tell you you're wrong and be okay with it, I mean, I would have been okay with it anyway, but expensive pieces of goddamn paper are like more street cred. Bonus if I can make those cool Chinese throwing stars around it.  And then you have the fucking balls to call me a goddamn child after saying I needed to act more educated AND I DID. Latin ain't dead, that shit is immortal, and I just proved your point.

This shit always reminds me of Maria's Art of the Brag, because my goddamn ovaries DO shoot motherfucking ball bearings, and I LIKE IT. I like being on top of the goddamn food chain as one of the educated ones, and still be able to throw an F-bomb on the table like it's a goddamn Sunday pot roast, that's what. Eat it. EAT THAT, WITH MY SPECIAL GRAVY OF DISDAIN AND CHASTISEMENT, because every time you try to knock me down a peg, all I do is let that shit sit a bit until I remember I'm fucking awesome at what I do. And if I want to call a friend of mine a pussy because we joke all the goddamn time, I can do so, in English or Latin, and you can kiss my shiny Classicist ass.

No, this ain't no special fucking rant about anything deep, all it is, is a reassurance, that even though I cry sometimes, and I fuck up, because I'm a goddamn human, that's exactly why, because I AM a goddamn human being, and I'm good at it. Be awesome at your own humanity, and I'll be awesome at mine, just eat my fucking gravy first.

43

Apple Talk / The Hipster Hobby Generator

« on: April 07, 2014, 05:48:13 pm »

Because we need more wastes of time on the internet.

On the first click, I got, "Underground gnome garden, inspired by something you heard on NPR."

 

http://hipsterhobbygenerator.com/

44

Apple Talk / ITT: SUU AND ROGER BALK AT YOUR OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS

« on: March 26, 2014, 11:48:23 pm »

I just had a sewing machine needle fly right for my FUCKING FACE. AGAIN. Fortunately, I was wearing safety glasses this time as I've been known to get a little hardcore. Ask Richter, I accidentally his crotch last workshop day. With Luna's machine.

45

Apple Talk / Roger goes to Providence, and this shit happens.

« on: March 17, 2014, 11:37:46 pm »

http://www.turnto10.com/story/24995055/dead-seal-with-sign-left-outside-providence-home

Somebody put a dead seal with a "Free Seal" sign in front of a house.

I wish I could make this madness up, but it made NATIONAL FUCKING NEWS IN FLORIDA.

FLORIDA.

WTG, Providence, you've out Florida'd Florida. All of my friends here are now like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE UP THERE?!"