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Messages - Doktor Howl

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Tina's security clearance bounced on a pot charge from 6 years ago.

I overrode that with a little string pulling, and she starts on Tuesday.

What's amazing to me is what I *thought* a flex was 10 years ago vs what it *is* in reality.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED American gun slobber thread.
« on: May 27, 2022, 10:21:02 pm »
The only reason I want a gun is because there are people who are going to be coming to murder me with their own guns. The groomer rhetoric and the disinfo campaign trying to pin this latest shooting on a trans girl means this is actually a legitimate threat to me, unlike the sick fantasies these fuckers have of catching a minority where they can legally murder them in cold blood.

And the only reason I want a semi-automatic rifle is because that's what they're going to be packing, and if I'm outgunned by these yokels they'll hang my head over the fireplace anyway.

Put another way: the only reason I need the 2nd Amendment shit right now is because of dickbags taking advantage of it to gear up for a genocide campaign. I used to be pro-gun control, but at this point the far right freaks would then be heavily armed and their targets would not be. If gun control had been there from an early stage, I wouldn't be in this fucking position. When the threat passes, I'll be right back to gun control, first to give up mine, maybe keep a deactivated rifle for mechanical engineering fun or something. But right now we're going into a Pride month where I guarantee you people will die en masse. They will be killed by the scores. And the only way I'm surviving is by fucking hiding. Back in the fucking closet, full time.

If it were any other situation, I wouldn't want to even live within access of a gun, because of the risk to my own life it would present. Right now I have a choice of dying without a chance, or at least a dice-throw at taking a handful of assholes to the grave with me.

That's all I got on this subject.

I don't worry about you having a gun.  I worry about the ammosexuals having guns.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: UNLIMITED American gun slobber thread.
« on: May 26, 2022, 09:37:39 pm »
American exceptionalism is when more children die from gun deaths than any other single cause. And the more children are dead, the more America is exceptional.

Also, if we don't force women to carry a fetus to term, how will there be kids to be shot in gun nut rampages?

We would soon run out of exceptionalism.

Aneristic Illusions / UNLIMITED American gun slobber thread.
« on: May 26, 2022, 06:24:02 pm »
Starting this off with Ted Cruz shaming himself once again.   :lulz:

“It’s easy to go to politics,” Cruz answered. “I get that’s where the media likes to go….The proposals from Democrats and the media inevitably, when some violent psychopath murders people.”

Cruz was cut off by Stone, who noted the “violent psychopath” Cruz was referring to was “able to get a weapon so easily…an 18 year old with two AR-15s.”

“If you want to stop violent crime, the proposals the Democrat have…none of them would have stopped this,” Cruz said.

“Why does this only happen in your country?” Stone fired back. “Why only in America? Why is this American exceptionalism so awful?”

That’s when Cruz had enough, walking away from Stone and saying, “I’m sorry you think American exceptionalism is so awful. You know what? You have your political agenda. God love you.”

Stone proceeded to follow Cruz and repeatedly state that mass shootings are “just an American problem.”

“Why is it that people come from all over the world to America?” Cruz then asked. “Because it’s the freest, most prosperous, safest country on earth. Stop being a propagandist.”

Cruz then ended the interview once and for all.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: May 26, 2022, 04:29:25 am »
While Covid psychosis (which I'd never even heard of until today) obviously isn't great, it is better than the alternative.
Turns out the covid only aggravated a problem that was caused by her cancer meds.  It would have happened anyway, just not as soon as it did.

But she's on the mend and no longer worried about murderers lurking in her hospital room bathroom.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: May 26, 2022, 04:27:57 am »
So they got my mom's sodium up and her ammonia down, and now she's herself again.  Almost.

The facility she's in specializes in this sort of thing, and they expect another relapse or two, and they aren't sending her home for a few more weeks, but she's getting better, and today while Jenn and I were visiting, she had a completely rational conversation for an hour and a half.

It is hard to explain how relieved I am.

The problem, though, is the condition was caused by the cancer meds she is on, and there are no alternative drugs, so she'll have to go into a clinic twice a week from now on to have her blood managed.

But that's better than senility or a stroke.

Apple Talk / Re: Banned on FB again.
« on: May 26, 2022, 12:41:20 am »
I haven’t got the foggiest.

A bunch of people I know from the lifting community got permazucced at the same time without any opportunity to appeal. Guessing there’s some algorthitm  run amuck?

That's fucking weird, but not unheard of.  My 78 year old DAD got banned because some MAGA freak didn't like his views and reported him for everything he posted.

My dad being a radical leftist, the outcome was certain.

Or Kill Me / Re: Roger's Got a Brand New Bag
« on: May 25, 2022, 11:19:15 pm »
Ok...but then what is your definition of "function" as applied to those philosophies?

Can the government back up its claims/threats/promises?

That is it.  That's all there is to it.  You'll notice there is very little difference between a functional government and a functional mafia family.  That's not a coincidence.  Just ask Smedley Butler, the greatest (IMO) of the Discordian saints.

Incidentally, that book I suggested to you (Government of the Shadows, the one about parapolitical research in political science) makes exactly the same point.  Twice.  Using the actual Mafia to show how it happens.

I just bought that book.

I take your advice very seriously, but after a cooling off period of 13 years.

Apple Talk / Re: Fucked Up Mailing List 2011: Round 2
« on: May 25, 2022, 05:34:59 am »
Need this for other stuff.

Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« on: May 25, 2022, 04:36:09 am »
Alright then.

And then waffle was the new, improved Lemmy.

Apple Talk / Re: Banned on FB again.
« on: May 25, 2022, 04:34:49 am »
I just got permabanned. IP, all my devices. All blocked.  :lulz:

What the hell did you do?   :lulz:

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions VIII: Some bad news for new folks
« on: May 25, 2022, 04:33:19 am »
Hi. I’m Waffles.

I’m….trying my damndest to rock and roll as much as humanly possible while still keeping something resembling a roof over my head. I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.

Long time no see, Deth Waffle!

Billy:  "Are you having some kind of ethical crisis here?"

Tina:  "Yes, and I'm not sure..."

Me:  "Your salary will be <amount>.  Not bad for right out of college."

Tina:  "..."

You see, Tina, your salary isn't just compensation for the work you'll do, it's part of the service you provide; helping to extract money from <agency>.  In fact, it would be unethical not to take their money.

It is absolutely amazing how naming a figure made her convince herself of that.

Gaze into the abyss and make it flinch.

My life now basically revolves around analysis.  Projects and cases start with a lack of data and are closed on my terms.

"My terms" does not mean input from bean counters 2200 miles from my facilities.  Nor does it mean an arbitrary set of decisions made by people who are not actually in the decision-making team.  Everyone else's jobs look easy, so why NOT tell Doktor Howl how he should do his job?  I can actually answer that question, though, as I have a great deal of pent-up wrath that needs disposing of, and I don't believe in raining that sort of shit down on my subordinates.

Example:  My unionized employees get time and a half on Saturday and double time on Sunday, and we bid a project accordingly.  The guys all took one day off later in the week (our week goes Saturday to Friday) for some R&R, as we are going to be working for several weekends.

Useless Payroll Object emails me and tells me that they're not getting OT for Sunday because they all took a weekday off.  No 40 hours, no overtime.

But the contract doesn't say that.  It says "Any work suffered on Saturday is time and a half, and any work suffered on Sunday is at double time."

Useless Payroll Object says that *offends* her, and sends the wrong incentives and why do they all get a one hour lunch instead of a half hour?

I once again explain that A) the contract is clear, B) we bid this job at overtime and double time, and if we pay our people less, we've committed a federal crime, and C) neither of those things care if her little authoritarian heart is offended by the idea that we pay people extra for extra work.

She argued some more, so I fed her to the union rep.  The End.

Interviewing younger millennials is fun.  Billy and I had the privilege today.

Me:  "So, let's see.  You have a double major in biology and mathematics from the U of A.  3.8 GPA.  Very impressive."

Tina:  "Thank you."

Me:  "Don't thank me, you did it.  Anyway, you know what we do here?"

Tina:  "The ad said statistical analysis on existential threats."

Me:  "Yes.  Ads lie, though.  What we do is extract money from <agency>, because <agency> cannot be trusted with money."

Tina:  "Excuse me?"

Me:  "Your university degree requirements included history, yes?"

Tina:  "Of course."

Me:  "Then you should know that <agency> cannot be trusted with money.  Because money is power, and <agency> goes absolutely berserk with any amount of power it may have.  This is documented fact."

Billy:  "It's true."

Me:  "So while we do in fact spend a lot of time crunching numbers on various end of civilization scenarios, that is in fact secondary."

Billy:  "Because <agency> having money is actually one of those scenarios."

Tina:  "..."

Me:  "So we take the money and spend it wisely."

Tina:  "What counts as wisely?"

Me:  "Right now, it's a death ray."

Tina:  "WHAT?"

Me:  "Just kidding.  Mostly we spend the money on contractors that help us find new problems that require money.  Think of us as the brakes on an overheated, out of control system that is full of crazy people."

Tina:  "Yes.  Crazy people.  I see."

Billy:  "Are you having some kind of ethical crisis here?"

Tina:  "Yes, and I'm not sure..."

Me:  "Your salary will be <amount>.  Not bad for right out of college."

Tina:  "..."

Me:  "Let's go talk to the senior director.  I'd like to start you as soon as your clearance goes through."

Tina:  "..."

Me:  "If he starts screaming for no reason, just pretend it's not happening.  He'll stop soon enough."

Tina:  "..."

Billy:  "Welcome to The Corporation, Tina."

Me:  "We're going to do great things."

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