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Topics - Lies

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Apple Talk / I fucking CALLED IT
« on: November 08, 2011, 08:51:50 am »

« on: June 30, 2011, 06:47:00 am »
I am a messenger of The Suns Heavenly Inevitable Transformation©, and I have come to warn ye all of YOUR DOOM.

For centuries now, you bleachers have been given a good run, with your pasty skin tones that have flourished in the ice ages and have accumulated much wealth on the backs and bloods of the TANNED OPPRESSED™.
You have given us, through the ages, all sorts of derogatory names to the TANNED OPPRESSED™, and have tried to eliminate us through extermination programs, have tried to limit our growth by providing us with free condoms, and have kept many of us from earning a fair and honest living by making us dependent on welfare and highly addictive drugs such as crack and KFC.

Well, I hope you enjoyed your little run of race superiority, as it will no longer last for long.
As a messenger of The S.H.I.T, I have been informed through various voices in my head that your time has come.

You see, the earth is changing. Society is changing. And it is all changing in favor of the TANNED OPPRESSED™.
We have grown aware and have grown weary of you, and so has the earth and our great provider of life, the sun.

As the Suns chosen ELITE, we have evolved in ways that make us superior to you bleachers.
There is empirical evidence that we are favored, that we have been blessed with abilities and powers that far rival your own.
For example, we have the ability to GO OUTSIDE for EXTENDED AMOUNTS OF TIME in the HEAT OF THE SUN, and not have concern for the deadly effects of the Suns UV rays which HATES the bleachers skin.
We also, as a collective average, are bigger, stronger, faster and much better looking than you all. Also, we have bigger dicks than the bleached. (Yes, that includes our women as well.) And even if one of you bleachers is bigger, stronger, faster and better looking than any one of us individual TANNED OPPRESSED™, we can call on any of our brothers that are bigger, stronger, faster and better looking than you, so don't try and get smart with us.

But we, The S.H.I.T, do not hold anything against you bleachers. It's not *your* fault you are bleached and inferior, and we understand that. You didn't ask to be bleached, and it is not your fault that you cannot get a decent tan to save your lives, so know that we do not HATE YOU or FEAR YOU, but PITY you all.
And as such, in all our mercy and pity, have come up with a plan to HELP YOU poor bleached ones.
It is called, The Eventual Bleached Eradication Plan, and it it works pretty much as what it sounds like.

As The S.H.I.T prefers peaceful, non-violent means to ends, unlike you violence embracing, war loving bleachies, we will get rid of you all through GRADUAL means.
Fear not, for even though you are doomed, your children need not be, and can be SAVED from the wrath of the sun.

Here is how it will work and has been covertly working now for a long time, RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSES.

First, the scorched earth policy- we are supporters of climate change and the GLOBAL WARMING that is caused by it. We welcome the suns rise in power on the earth, for The S.H.I.T know that we are favored in its heat, where as you bleachies ARE NOT. So we will be doing everything in our power to contribute C02 gasses to the atmosphere, and have been encouraging you bleachies to do the same, and you have, like the gullable idiots you are, been doing exactly that with your SUVs and wars with countries that are rich in C02 producing resources which you have grown to be so reliant on.

Secondly, breeding programs- we are and have been for a long time now, slowly but surely, breeding with the bleachers to produce offspring that have superior skin tone that is more suitable to the coming El Nino age, and eventually, you will be phased out as dated, inferior models, but will still have use as caretakers/slaves to your tanned offspring henceforth.

Thirdly, we have been slowly but surely acquiring all the wealth back from you bleachies that you STOLE FROM US IN THE FIRST PLACE, and have been investing in FOOL PROOF investment plans that have been provided to us by our Nigerian brothers, many of whom are wealthy exiled princes that just need investment capital to pay for the unlocking fees of their stolen wealth, and once we have given them enough, we tanned elite will be able to buy all the rest of you bleachies as slaves and pets.

Finally, we will be converting and burning all blasphemous images of our lord and savior, and replacing all heretical portrayals with a more logically correct and better looking savior-





Apple Talk / New product DISplacement techniques
« on: June 29, 2011, 02:24:26 pm »
Marketers sure are getting evilly clever in their marketing techniques...
Get this, they create brand awareness by... not putting the brand in.

No. Seriously. Just a shame dogs don't have souls and won't go to heaven.

Bring and Brag / Master Breaker Productions presents
« on: June 03, 2011, 08:24:08 am »
Oscar Wildes: The nightingale and the Rose- Coming soon to an internuts near you!
This is just the teaser trailer, my friends and I made this, I of course being the student.
The final version is in the works, this is just whats been edited for a grading score since it had to be under two minutes, finished thing should be out in a few weeks :)

« on: June 02, 2011, 09:58:19 am »
Yeah, that's right, Australia is now travelling *backwards* in time as we speak. And no body wanted to go back, but the government thought, "What the hell, fuck democracy and the laws of physics, why not".

Apple Talk / This is rather... weird.
« on: May 31, 2011, 04:49:07 pm »
The Westboro Baptist Church has made offending people an art, arriving at any public event they believe will have some media around, spreading their anti-homosexual message of hate.  One of their favorite spots has always been at the funerals of soldiers, targeting their families with signs stating that their loved ones died because of God's wrath over gays in the military.

So it's not much of a surprise that a contingent of the church showed up that the Memorial Day service at Arlington National Cemetery.  Slightly surprising, though, was who was there to meet them.

The Ku Klux Klan.
I'm rooting for them both offing each other, personally.
Onward christian soldiers... ect ect

This obviously disgusts me to rage-want-to-burn-down-any-child-beauty-pageant-place-that-i-get-near proportions.
Now, since this quite illegal, and would put in danger the poor children in them, I need alternative suggestions to really stick it to these pedophile fests and parents of children who for some fucked up reason think it's ok to sexualise their children and make them compete and vicariously live out for their parents what they couldn't possibly do themselves.

There have been protests, but turn outs have been low, and it seems, if anything, it has given more publicity to these fuckers and more fucked up people *WANT* to enter their children in now.

Literate Chaotic / Stripping the Gurus
« on: May 24, 2011, 06:26:32 am »

Great book which exposes pretty much every famous "guru" and is great fodder to use on devotees.

One of my favorites mentioned is the Dalai Llama. I've actually met the dude. I knew something seemed a bit "off" about him, and this book pretty much confirms stuff I've thought for a while.


Apple Talk / Tidal waves kill nearly 150 million people in China
« on: May 20, 2011, 01:04:49 pm »
Looks like for some people, the end of the world already happened  :cry:

Apple Talk / This just in: Confirmation of the Golden Secret
« on: May 15, 2011, 12:52:48 pm »
According to this article, it's scientifically official: Nonsense Sharpens the Intellect.

Apple Talk / Reasons I hate people
« on: May 14, 2011, 04:02:20 pm »
Number one:

If it isn't apparent to you what going on in this, you should leave the island now.

Apple Talk / The Sign.
« on: May 12, 2011, 04:24:21 am »
There was once a small sleepy village in outback Australia, that was a relatively peaceful community where nothing much happened.
In this village lived two brothers, Marcus and Angus, who worked on their parents farm.
They shore sheep, tended to the crops, and did all the typical things farm boys do growing up on a farm.  
One day, as they were walking to town to gather some groceries, they noticed a new sign by the side of the road that said "The worlds best sausage rolls, East -->"
Marcus was feeling pretty hungry and decided he could really go for a sausage roll, so he asked Angus if he could borrow some of the money their parents gave them for the groceries and said he'd get one for Angus too, and so he got the money off of him and went in the direction the sign pointed to for the supposedly worlds best sausage rolls while Angus went to get the groceries, saying that he'll meet up with him back home afterwards.
Angus went to get the groceries, a mostly uneventful trip really, although he did see a cat kill a possum, since this is a pretty small sleepy town, that's about as exciting as things got.
When Angus got home, he looked for his brother in the kitchen, hoping to try out the worlds best sausage rolls with him, but Marcus was no where to be found.  
He asked his parents if Marcus had returned yet, and they said not that they knew of, and that they thought that Marcus was with him.  
He told them that they separated at the sign, and hadn't heard from him since, expecting to meet him back at home.  
Angus looked around the farm for his brother, but he was nowhere to be seen, and figured he still must be on his way...
Hours pass, and there's still no sign of Marcus, and their parents start worrying about him, and so decides to try and go out and look for him.  
Angus wanted to come along as well, but his parents told him it's probably best that he stay at home in case Marcus does come home.
And so the parents went in the direction they assumed Marcus went, directed by the sign.  
Several more hours pass, and no one returns home, and Angus began to worry.  
So he went out into town, and told Mr AccaDacca, a good friend of his parents, what had happened.  
Mr AccaDacca told Angus not to fret, as he was an excellent bush tracker, and would find their trail and them in no time.
So off he went to find Angus's parents...
Several more hours passed, and still, no one had returned yet. Angus was really starting to get worried, but knew Mr AccaDacca was the best tracker in Australia, and tried his best not to become too concerned, telling himself over and over that things will be fine.  
Eventually, he fell asleep waiting for everyone to return home, and woke up to a beautiful morning the next day, but still no sign of his family or Mr AccaDacca.
So he goes back into town, and tells some other town people about what had happened.
The town people worried, as they knew that Mr AccaDacca was the best tracker in the world, and if he had disappeared, something must be seriously wrong.
So they formed a search party, consisting of half the towns population, to go out and try and find Angus's family and Mr AccaDacca, while Angus stayed behind, as someone needed  to tend to the farm regardless of the situation.
The day goes by and Angus starts to become greatly concerned as the evening approaches.  
So he goes back into town to see if anyone had returned, only to find... that all the other towns people had disappeared as well.
Angus was all alone, and scared, and worried, and didn't know what to do.
He wondered, is there some sort of monster out there, that has captured and eaten all the towns people? Maybe war has broken out, and enemy soldiers have captured everyone?
Well, Angus could sit around no longer, and had to do something.
So he went back to the farm, got his fathers shotgun, some rope, a flashlight, and packed a bag with survival gear and food, and painted his face black and put on his camo clothes.
He leaves and makes his way to follow that accursed sign that began all this... but just as he's getting close to the sign, he see's a light in the distance, heading towards him.  
"That must be the monster or the soldiers! I better hide!" Angus said to himself.  
So he ducked into the bushes, and waited for the light to get closer... and closer... and closer...
Then he could start to make out a shape behind the light, and it seemed oddly familiar...
Feeling brave, Angus turned on his flashlight and shined it on the shape...
It was his brother, Marcus!
Angus ran up to him, and shouted, "MARCUS! You're back! Where have you been? Where is everyone else?"
Marcus smiled, handed Angus the roll he promised, and told him,  
"Well, it's a long way to the shop, if you want a sausage roll".        

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