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Topics - Mangrove

...I brought you all the gift of British culture.

So, for the past few days, any time I click on, I get sent to a blank 'not found' page of death. However, I can post at  which, is a lot less catchy and memorable.

Is this problem unique to me or are other people experiencing it? My home computer doesn't seem to like the link neither does the one at work. They both have firefox on them, so I thought it might have something to do with that.

Any thoughts?

Many thanks,

Lesson #1

Make outrageous claim about Obama being a gun-grabbing nazi who conspired to create various mass shootings. (Bonus points for believing Rick Santorum had presidential qualities...)

Lesson # 2

Utilize social media to make an enormous fuss over nothing.

Please note the hysterically inconsistent: "I really think that it sucks when people make false claims.." Also, please note well established career musician pleading poverty. Ok, so he's not making Justin Beiber money, but still, I can't help but think his plea of "We are all living in very tight financial times right now.." is a little disingenuous.

Lesson #3

Nothing quite says 'rock and roll rebel' quite like a Christmas Card competition. SRS BIZNESS

A posting on reads, "Although we were notified of the possible plagiarism by an anonymous fan in Brazil after the Christmas Day call was already placed, we are investigating this matter further."

Yes. Getting to the bottom of the fraudulent winner of a Megadeth art contest is the best use of Dave's critical faculties.

And that's how to NOT be metal. Tune in next week when I explain why Taylor Swift doesn't really play country music.
So, after 8 years Mrs Mang found a new job. Better money, annual pay raise, same benefits, less stress. She gave her notice on Monday and has been met with post-Romney levels of freak out and butthurt. And finally, I get to add my 2c. This is to the principal of her 3 (soon to be ex) bosses. Welcome editorial before I send this.

Dear J***,

By the time you read this, S**** will have departed for new opportunities. There's never a good time to deliver bad news, so I can appreciate that the prospect of losing a "valued" employee was a daunting one. Neither S**** nor I derive any pleasure from whatever difficulties that might arise for you. Nevertheless, it's important to recognize, as the Buddhists are wont to point out, that impermanence is the essence of our human condition. Nothing lasts forever whether its people, places, relationships, wealth, health or even nations - all are subject to the inexorable force of change. As such, S****'s time with you & *** was no exception. In 2004 right after we got married, taking the job with *** was the most appropriate course of action. In 2012 this was no longer the case. (Incidentally, S**** left her prior job because of the frankly, insane working conditions, not because of money. In fact, she took a substantial pay cut in order to escape that particular office and work for you, K** and, at that time, S**.)

In early 2007, another job opportunity opened up for her which also carried a better rate of pay. She discussed this offer with you but was met with considerable hostility and, oddly, the accusation that she was somehow disloyal. A disloyal person would have, surely, taken the money and run. This is not what she did however. Instead, she accepted a lesser counter-offer and stayed. Feeling genuine concern about the effects her leaving would have upon you and your practice, S**** chose to sacrifice easy security in favor of being 'the team player'.

Naturally, we were both dismayed that S****'s proven loyalty & dedication was rewarded with her hours being cut in, what I believe, to be a cowardly and backhanded manner. Instead of giving her fair consideration and consultation, she was palmed off to another rep (M***) like a piece of furniture. She was now the most qualified, experienced admin with the biggest workload and strangely enough, without meaningful compensation to show for it. Stranger still, was the expectation that somehow, she would perform all the same functions for the same money, in less time, with her attention split among three people.

S**** was hurt and disappointed by this development, as was I. However, she is a greatly patient and tolerant individual and accepted the situation stoically. In spite of her best intentions though, the demands placed upon her took a toll on her health. She worked at home, she worked on vacations. Go in early, stay late. She was even in the office checking things the week her daughter got married. It affected her physically and emotionally. As a married man, I hope you can relate to the concern I had for my wife and her well being.

Imagine our surprise then, returning from Italy in 2009, to be met with the indignity of being accused of 'talking too much to the other women', 'making too many mistakes' and 'not getting things done'. Most people think getting an office is a perk, but S**** got hers as punishment so that she could be isolated. (It should be noted that this change was handled in the same covert and thoughtless manner that resulted in her working for three planners.) Of course, she's human and makes mistakes, but I know that S**** is meticulous, rarely ever makes errors and when they do occur, she has always been able to correct them so that there has not been lasting or detrimental consequences. Bottom line - the cases went through, the clients were happy and you got paid.

We discussed this behaviour on many occasions and, most times, had to agree to disagree. I maintained, and still do, that the treatment meted out to her was unfair, unprofessional and predictably misogynist. To my frequent chagrin & frustration, she would always want to see the good in people and situations that I felt were not worthy of her time and attention. My constant refrain was that she deserved better. The great irony of it is I believe that neither, you, K** nor M*** would want your respective wives & daughters to be subject to these circumstances. I would hazard a guess that, if I were to show the same fundamental disrespect, there would be no end to the invective leveled at me. For all of your sakes, I sincerely hope your spouses and children are shown the common decency that I expect for my wife.

At this point, it should be apparent that S**** was never 'just about the money'. It was never just the dollar amount it was about all of the above and sheer apathy on the part of *** to take an interest in its people. That *** has lost some of its best administrators should be a cause for alarm and introspection though, I have a feeling it will not.

Since we're on the subject of money, if I may be so bold, I wish to make the following comments. It is my understanding that you informed S**** that "$7000 p/a wouldn't make a difference" in our lives. I am afraid that you are not in a position to know what would or would not make a difference to our lives. If you believe the sum to be so trivial, then can I assume that you would have been happy to raise her pay by the same amount?

Secondly, neither of us are in a position to dictate what other people's spouses should do. I do not answer to you, nor am I obliged to extend any sort of explanation. To clarify - I have a job. I am self employed and work in the field of healthcare. I am well trained, very experienced and have helped many people to heal, often in situations where conventional approaches have been less than satisfactory. I am solely responsible for every client I find and maintain. Every penny I make goes to the upkeep and well being of my family. Respectfully, my earnings are not your concern just as I have no knowledge or interest in your finances. I chose this career for the good it brings to the world, not because I thought I'd make a fast buck. If it was just about money, I'd go back to working in an office. The pettiness and inanity of office politics was, in part, what drove me to take a different path in the first place. Furthermore, it matters not in the slightest whether I am worth $1 or $100,000 a year. That is utterly immaterial to the fact that S**** deserved better for all the good will and effort she put in over the years. After all, it wasn't me signing her pay checks.

In closing, we all have our respective burdens to bear. Yours is finding a new assistant as S****'s is to get settled into a new job. You can blame her leaving on her, me, money, the women in the office etc. Hell, blame the President or Mercury being retrograde, it's of no odds to me. The truth is that she left because it was the most appropriate course of action for our life. I hope that you can understand and honour that, even though her actions may have inconvenienced you. It's not money, or spite or being 'under the influence of negativity in the office' it's simply this - negligence. Due care, attention and a sense of personal culpability would have yielded a much different outcome.

Best wishes for the future.

Yours sincerely


PS FYI. Some time back S**** wrote a letter outlining her concerns and grievances. You refused to believe she was even capable of writing such a letter. You were wrong. I had no hand in that as it was all her doing. People often underestimate her, it's not a mistake I make.

Hurricane Sandy is going to destroy all of the East Coast by Halloween. Take that Mayans! (sic).

If I disappear for days, it's likely because there's no power in most of CT, just like last year!

#6 be Britain's most prestigious & prodigious paedophile and die without getting caught.

I'm starting to wonder  (a) Whose head rolls next?
                                (b) If the Jonathan King & Gary Glitter episodes were not unrelated incidents.
It's Election season here in the US which means that the amount of buzzwords and platitudinous bullshit will increase exponentially over the course of this month. So, here's a handy dandy guide to help you translate election commentary and debates. This is just to get you started. Feel free to add or update definitions.

Family Values = Homophobia.

Pro-Life = Peculiar form of misogyny with a special emphasis on women's reproductive anatomy.

Wall Street = Our corporate paymaster.

Main Street = The rest of you business owning schlubs.

The Middle Class = Schlubs in general.

Fiscal Responsibility = The rape and pillage of the social safety net.

Entitlement Programs = Perjorative term for the social safety net that working people pay into in the hope of never having to use it on the basis that letting the sick, elderly & unemployed free-fall into poverty is a 'dick move'. (see 'Fiscal Responsibility')

Socialism = Meaningless buzzword bandied about by Conservatives as an insult. Often used to conflate civic duty with Communism.

The Founding Fathers = A group of intelligent, educated, 18th century, Enlightenment era, deist, Liberal men who sought to establish an alternative to European monarchism. For some reason, the FF's are confused with The Pilgrim Fathers. (see below)

The Pilgrim Fathers = Paranoid, religious, zealots escaping greatly overstated religious persecution. Their beliefs that the Old World was filled with too many Catholics, Witches & Jews and that the Church of England was too lenient on same, lead them to hiring ships and leaving. Much to the great relief of Western Europe and to the great chagrin of the Native Americans.   

The American People = Implies all American citizens but depends on who uses it. When used by conservatives it excludes non-whites, homosexuals, liberals, non-Christians & the poor.

Middle America = aka The American People who are not part of the East/West coast liberal elite.

Real America = As opposed to Fake America? Also depends on who uses it. Generally refers to any part of the country that thinks Sarah Palin is a good speaker.

Liberal Elite = Conservative term for people who value literacy, numeracy, science etc.

The Constitution = Political document drafted by the Founding Fathers. Often mistaken for a religious scripture written by the Pilgrim Fathers.

The Declaration of Independence = Ditto.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Critical Mass America (tm)
September 12, 2012, 09:00:02 PM
How do you know you're in Critical Mass America? When something happens that's soooo American, that the laws of reality become distorted.

Exhibit A:

Take a sugary snack. Combine it with another sugary snack. Then release it to coincide with a Hallmark holiday that's aimed at largely at children during a healthcare crisis of jeuvenile obesity.

Exhibit B:

Egyptian immigrant comes to America to find opportunity....the opportunity to look like Popeye.
This is something really stupid, but I had to ask.

So, outside one of our bedroom windows, some funnel web spiders have taken residence. Every now and then, I like to watch what they're up too. Often, nothing much but recently, I got to see something I've never seen up close before. Some flying beastie (that looked all the world like a very small wasp(?) got himself caught in the web.

Now, he was doing all his best to get the hell out because the resident spider was nearby. The spider ran out and actually circled his prey numerous times. Then it'd run back and then run out again, do a few victory laps and then return to his corner. There was a really dramatic scene whereby the spider stood over the wasp and had one leg poised very high above like he was about to  bitch slap his would-be meal from a great height.

Later on, when I revisited the scene, the wasp was dead and all of it's waspy goodness had been sucked out.

This got me thinking. Spiders have been making sticky webs for a gazillion years. Other creatures have been sticking to said webs for gazillions of years. Has our trusty friend, evolved insects that either are:

a) impervious to spider stickiness, in which case they can walk off? After all, spiders can, so it makes sense that some other creature could.

b) developed some other anti-spider web measure(s)?

I would have thought "not getting stuck in a web and dying" would qualify as suitable 'environmental pressure' to cheat the spiders out of a meal.

Many thanks,

Here's why I haven't been posting as much.

It's not that I don't have the time. I have plenty of time. In fact, I have too much time which is why I don't post often. Because I'm self employed, I have to use my brain to build my business. Mrs Mang' & I squeak by financially most of the time, so it's really way more important that I find clients and establish my practice because she works way too hard for too little money from total assholes. Until we find other jobs and/or other sources of income (we're both actively working on that), we just get on with being held to ransom because I like making mortgage payments and I like the fact that this is the only way we can afford healthcare. It won't always be that way, but right now, it IS.

Secondly, since 2007, we've been dealing with the hilarious family game called 'living with a junky'. The drugs, the withdrawal, the relapses (oh the relapses!) ,the police interviews, doctor appointments, court appointments, taking time out of your day to find out which pawn shop your jewelry is in. The lies, the denial, the arguments, the weird behaviors, the lack of trust, the siege mentality of being at home, the endless fucking discussions with friends/family/work mates....

Well, turns out all of this is very time consuming and not very interesting either.  Which is precisely why until today, I have not talked about this at PD because I really didn't see any good coming from it. So this is probably the only post where I'll mention it. Unless something significant and newsworthy happens, that's it. Just so everyone knows and wonders why my creative energies have not been in Komedy Kabbalah of late.

As for creative things, I did manage to unplug a serious creative block that kept me from bothering with music for over a decade. Back to playing guitar again regularly. [Incidentally, I have found a positive purpose arising out of shows like American Idol. The moment I hear or see it on tv I think "Cool, now I can spend the next 1-2 hours working on my own shit rather than listen to people I don't care about." ]

When I first joined PD, I had a really stupid, stressful but stable job. Now I have a really cool job that I love but where the income stream is unreliable. I answer to pretty much no one but myself, but that also means the sole responsibility of success or failure falls squarely on my head. I've got a lot of study, lots of practice and a shit load of marketing to do. Not to mention, a lot of soul searching too. Perhaps when my work calendar is a lot more full, then I'll have the time to engage with what's going on here. But right now, it's something I can only briefly glance at.

I'm still around but horribly out of the loop and that's how it has to be right now.

Until then, relax - it's only the internet.


I stopped posting regularly on PD before it was cool.  8)

Seriously though, here's a few thoughts....

The amount of discourse about the Open Bar thread would be a source of constant amazement to me if I logged on regularly enough. When it was active, it produced a variety of responses. Some avoided it entirely, some thought it was irritating but had to post in it anyway, some people enjoyed it for whatever reasons they had. I don't know what they were or care for that matter.

I started the very first OB thread back in 2004 not long after I signed up for PD. I think ECH (under his magnificent original moniker, Turd Ferguson!) joined about the same week I did or I joined right after him...anyways, it was a long time ago. The original OB thread was simply a place of make believe and silliness. That's it. I really didn't expect it to be sustained for as long as it did. Hell, even I stopped posting in it regularly years before it got cancelled.

I also didn't expect that it would get copied by other forums. When Aini and Eric(?) went off and did their own forum, they included a bar. When EB&G was formed, they also had a bar thread and, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if their are other forums out there(discordian or otherwise), somewhere that did likewise. And bully for them because it makes no difference to me at all.

The original OB thread was awash with what was then called 'cookies & pie' discordianism though people might now call it Pinealism or whatever. PD took on a different vibe in 2006 onwards with the advent of the BIP project and 'cookies & pie' posting went seriously out of vogue and posters partial to it either dropped it and continued to stay or they got 'the horrors' and went somewhere else.

When the OB began, there was barely Facebook (if at all). Back in 2004 many people I knew were on a UK site called 'Friends Reunited' so they could connect with their school mates.(Can't think of anything I wanted to do less.) I don't know if the term 'blogosphere' had been coined at that time or not, but I don't remember hearing it. Seems that pre-facebook people had Livejournal (lol) or some shit like that.

Over time, probably with the exponential expansion in both blogs and FB, the Open Bar took on that colouring. But really, it was just a gag. It was near Xmas 2004 and I felt like sharing some good cheer. That was it.

When I saw people baying for the demise of a thread, it struck me as odd. As odd as it would be for anyone to campaign for it being saved. It was odd that that it was considered instrumental in a decline in post volume and quality. It's odd that after deleting it, there's some sentiment that the 'fluff buffer zone' had been comprised allowing more trivial posting to spill into other areas. It's all a bit ODD.

The OB thread was only ever a reflection of the people posting in it at any given time. It changed because the posters changed. Posters came and went and some of the same posters stayed but they changed their minds.

The OB probably didn't add or detract anything from the forum. It was ONE SINGLE THREAD. All the posts in any thread come from your brain and onto the computer via your fingers. So, check your heads if there's any questions about post quality. As I said, it was a mirror - don't blame the mirror. Whether it stays up or gets smashed or people celebrate or lament it, it really doesn't amount to anything.

It was just a cheeky joke thread (and alt account) that got a lot of mileage. End of story.

It's ok, it's only the internet.

....What Taylor Swift sounds like without auto-tune!
Or Kill Me / Liber Narcoticum (a SSOOKN product)
July 08, 2011, 04:29:18 PM
LIBER NARCOTICUM sub figura 154

being a leisurely published tragi-comedy on the nature of Heroin but known in the world of men as

"Junkies say the funniest things!"

Fragment 1

Dramatis Personae:

Mangrove: A prankster Kabbalist with a polystyrene nose.
Silver Lining: An eternal optimist.

SL: Hey Mang! How are things?

Mang: Well....I can't type because I don't have a keyboard. I can't click because I don't have a mouse. I can't watch a movie because I don't have DVD player. I can't take pictures because I don't have a camera.

SL: How so?

Mang: Because The Junkies took them.

SL: Don't think of them as Junkies so much as Radical Buddhist Guerrillas liberating you from your attachments to material objects.


...until yet another fundamentalist whacko commits spectacular 'self pwnage'.

Please contact them on May 22nd  :lol:
Dear Mr The Great Reverend Roger,

It has come to the attention of SSOOKN (Way Out West Division) that you just might be the man we need for our latest project.

The job offer/mission is included in the following link. However, owing to security reasons, SSOOKN have encrypted the message in a code that only you will be able to decipher.

Best wishes,

I'm trying to get myself back into forum life. So here goes, my gift to you all  :lulz:
Long story short - I couldn't sleep, had an idea.

Basically, compilation of Cartoons, rants, pics, WOMPs, 'American Moments' etc basically anything that would explain America to others and be a handy manual of instruction. Perhaps this could be cobbled together into some kind of publication, maybe it's an Intermittens....

1st submission from The Scrid

That's right, the folks at SSOOKN have decided to brighten your day by giving you free gifts.

Episode 1:

Professor Cramulus
GASM Command / BeckGASM
July 08, 2010, 09:04:53 PM
Uhh...not really sure that I have a plan in mind.

At great risk to my sanity, I decided to watch an episode of Glenn Beck. All it did was make me think SOMETHING should happen to him.

Clearly, he is impervious to fact or reason. He's so entangled in his 'Progressives? LOL!' reality tunnel, that I think any attempt to fact check him would be an utter waste of effort.

So, I figured the next option would be 'if you can't beat him, join him' in that his paranoia should be confirmed and stoked as far as possible. I'm really really hoping that he'll have an enormous emotional ketchup bottle burst on tv and start frothing at the mouth about 'The Jews! The Jews!'

I think that the only way he could be discredited is to goad him into espousing increasingly unhinged views.

When I couldn't sleep the other night after reading the introductory chapter of 'Common Nonsense' my first thought was to write to him regularly as a fan & fellow patriot and then recommend or even send him actual books that I think he would 'benefit' from. I have this desire that one day he will whip out a copy of 'The Protocols of The Elders of Zion' or something equally nasty and tell everyone to read it and 'learn history' etc.


It's illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.


This shit is on Connecticut TV all the time. It's driving me crazy. It's only 1/2 minute long and yet every second is toe curlingly awful.

I hate his douchebag facial expression. I hate his pastel coloured shirt. I hate the fact that this dude is a thinly veiled viral mutation of Ron Paul.

Please note that his concerns are (in order)

a) The free market
b) Capitalism
c) The constitution
d) Values

:argh!:  :argh!:  :argh!:  :argh!:
Hi everyone,

I'm Mangrove and I'm dead now. Hah! I always wanted to say that. Seeing as I'm on 'the other side' now, I thought I should write and let you all know what was going on.

At first, I was kind of surprised to be dead but, when I realized that there would be no more seasonal allergies I was pretty pleased. Especially when you take into account my legendary polystyrene proboscis. I was similarly glad to not have tension headaches from sitting at the computer for too long. And get this - I'm not scared of dying! That's a plus.

I'm settling in to my new environment. Got to see Mang-dog. She's doing fine now that she doesn't have cancer anymore. I don't have to take her out to pee a thousand times a day which is a bonus. The steroids did strange things to her bladder.

So, get this - there's an astral plane! Now it's really a lot more ordinary than it sounds. All those new age types really played this shit up for the last 120 years or so. Basically, it's just like closing your eyes and you notice all the colours or shapes bumbling around. No biggie.

What I can tell you with certainty, is that there's no fucking 'Astral Pillars'. The idea that a metaphysical concept needed some type of physical architecture is totally retarded and it would make my head explode if I still had one. The thing is though, there's no pillars, unless you want them to be there. Same goes for God, the Devil, angels or 72 virigins.

This plane of consciousness is tricky, sticky & elastic. It takes on whatever you impress upon it. Not only that, it has a tendency to reproduce your thoughts so you keep having them over and over. Worse still, is that it will multiply them in various ways, so that you get 10,000 different varieties of the same thought. You gotta be really careful about what you plant here because it's a fertile ground that gives back everything you put into it with interest. And it's a law of nature, so it really doesn't care whether you think it's fair or not because it works from the assumption that you always want more of the same. I'm learning to be a lot more selective about what I'll let form there.

The Jesus freaks are funny because they keep crashing into 38 different species of Jesus. Black Jesus, white Jesus, Jesus in pain, Jesus happy, Jesus naked, Jesus with clothes, Jesus who's celebate, Jesus that's banging Magadelene. We got 'em all and a lot more beside! Jesus! Jesus! Get your fresh hot Jesus! There's going to be hell to pay when all the Jesus' start bumping into all the's only a matter of time.

Ok, I gotta go. Turns out I can totally spy on people in the shower. If I leave now I might be able to catch J-Lo....


Because Crowley viewed the Aeon Of Horus as being full of 'force & fire'. He considered the New Aeon to be delinquent & adolescent. Bit like the Charioteer in the tarot who has left the home of mom & pop and hit the open road for adventure.

However, I would certainly make a parallel to the so called 'old aeon' formula of IAO - the classic Isis, Apophis, Osiris.

Isis phase = pinealism & board nannies
Apophis = destruction, war, BIP, hardcord n00b flaming
Osiris = rebirth into new form

So if anything, we've had our Horus phase of conflict, outrage etc and have moved on to something more with more equilibrium. Some might say this is correspondent to the Ma'at current.....but I think they're assholes. 
Moreover, Mustaine stated that Christianity helped him to get back in the saddle - from baptised Lutheran, through being Witness of Jehova, through reading satanic bible and practising black magic, Dave returned to Christianity and became new-born Christian [10].

For the first time in a zillion years, I browsed through guitar magazines at the bookstore. A 'reader's letter' suggested that Dave Mustaine was a born againer. I found this hard to believe, however Wiki says it's true.


Born again heavy metal? Does this mean we're due a Stryper revival?
Bring and Brag / Mangrove's Old Time Narcissism Hour
March 19, 2010, 12:30:11 AM

Step right up folks! Hear stuff I recorded in the 90's!

That's right, I'm promoting defunct bands and musical projects that I've not been involved in for over 10 years!

And if you don't like it, blame LMNO because he made me sign up for Reverbnation.

MOTNH - CT's least favorite alternative music website!


Please give up knitting. If you don't knit, then please do not take up this particular textile activity.

I woke up at 4:35am this morning out of a dream in which:

a) You died
b) Cause of death: Knitting
c) I was charged with arranging your burial (I wasn't that good at it either)
d) Had to explain that though you were called Fred, you were in fact, female.

If you died from knitting, I'd blame myself. STOP FUCKING KNITTING IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY!
Mrs. Mang and I slouched in our living room after dinner to enjoy fresh coffee and the warmth of the wood stove. Reflexively, we put the TV on – it's a moment of decompression and signals the transition in our lives when the work day is over and the evening has truly begun.

I'm not proud. Last week, we happened upon some American Idol performances. Putting aside the obvious horrors and implications of the show, I had to admit that a few of the latest crop of dewy eyed warblers can sing, at least in tune if nothing else. A couple may even have pleasing vocal tones and yet, there was something uncomfortable about this scene. Something disconcerting, something that was just plain wrong.

"There's not enough exploitation."

"What?" replied Mrs Mang as she repositioned herself on the love seat to make room for our black Lab to annex ever more space, cushions and blanket.

"There's not enough exploitation...or at least, not enough of the right kind. These American Idol kids are just too damn comfortable."

Mrs Mang couldn't see where I was going with this.

Now, what do Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington and Jimi Hendrix have in common aside from being iconic and influential African American artists? They were all subjected to exploitative bastards. You'd be forgiven for thinking that it was a matter of common or garden racism that caused this and, there's undoubtedly an element of that present. But, there's another reason beyond melanin in play here. They were exploited because simply, they were fucking great at what they did.

Louis Armstrong aka 'Pops' aka 'Satchmo' single handedly invented the idea of the jazz solo, popularized scat singing and was probably the only jazzer to influence both vocalists and instrumentalists in equal measure. He was truly unique; an innovator drawing upon past traditions and extending them into the future. Yet, his early career was controlled by mobsters – literally at the business end of a revolver when rival gangs argued over who owned his contract.*

Billie Holiday had a string of god awful managers and agents. Many of them were her boyfriends and almost all of them were vicious, abusive assholes. But, she was getting $2k a week (a week!) during her heyday. Not because she had a 4 octave range like Mariah Carey but because she could sell a song like few others. She could even give really crappy songs some gravitas and swagger. Needless to say, when she had great material she was other worldly. Check out the 1950s footage of her doing 'Strange Fruit' and you'll get what I mean.

Duke Ellington's early manager and publisher Irving Mills generously helped himself to a writing credit on many of the classic Ellington compositions. He didn't contribute so much as a single note to what, in 1928 was dismissed as 'jungle' music but clearly, he knew enough about the 'biz' to see that the suave Mr Ellington was worth backing and bilking.

Jimi Hendrix? Here's a guy so stupidly good at the guitar but would sign pretty much any legal document thrust in front of him. You could blame the drugs. You could blame his terrible eyesight and the fact that he refused to ever wear prescription glasses. Remember though, that this is the same dude who got stuffed on a plane bound for London with almost no possessions beyond a passport and a toothbrush because someone promised to hook him up with Eric Clapton.

It's not just a black thing. Look at Elvis and Colonel Parker. He lit up the world of popular music with an improbable mélange of bluegrass and RnB and was given a series of execrable movies for his efforts. Race car drivers? Clam bakes? Hoola dancers!!??

These people and many others got royally screwed. Not because of color but because they were eminently bankable and that was because they were really fucking good at what they did.

If we permit ourselves to move ahead to a more recent example we find Kurt Cobain. So scared was he about being exploited, so tortured about his own authenticity that he blew his face off after bolting from a rehab center.

Kurt, if only you had stuck around for a few more years, you would've realized that you were scared of an era that was coming to an end. Your rehab could've been a TV show. Your escape from rehab would've been a TV show with better ratings. Don't worry about being bloated or letting yourself go because your weight loss would be a TV show. Don't worry about looking like a vagrant because your makeover would be a TV show. Don't like your band anymore? Fine. Get a new one on a TV show. Don't like your spouse? No problem, because Rock of Love was just around the corner and you could have replaced Courtney courtesy of VH1. It's somewhat immaterial whether you lived or not because "Nevermind" was still picked up by the Classic Album documentary series. Kurt, you got so paranoid about being fucked over by The Man tm that you jumped the gun (ha!) and fucked yourself – they only wanted you because you were good at what you did.**

The hip musical cognoscenti will berate Idol for perpetuating 'manufactured music'. Well guess what? Motown was manufactured music and deliberately so. Berry Gordy literally made the musical equivalent of an automotive plant. To ram the point home, he even let his artists film a promo 'video' on a car production line in Detroit.

He knew how to find talent though -  The Supremes, The Jacksons, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder & Marvin Gaye. Manufactured? You bet your ass! But manufactured with A-list vocalists, hot songwriters and a house band that grooved like no other and would work hard both day & night. If a James Jamerson bass line doesn't move your soul you probably don't have one and you probably don't deserve the ears on your head either.

Something strange happened. I cannot pinpoint exactly when, but there was a paradigm shift. Perhaps not a shift so much as an extension of the existing regime. Exploiting musical artists has become a forgone conclusion so now it's time to increasingly exploit the audience. Let's pluck fry-cooks and shop girls from obscurity, make them comfortable***. Let them bring their moms & dads too and we just love, LOVE LOVE to hear about your childhood! Look how nice we are! So generous, so considerate! And with our generosity we will give you passable vocalists, forgettable songs, predictable schlock arrangements and homogenous wall lining production. Our magnanimity is boundless – here's a ring tone.

(When polled, 2/3rds of respondents said they'd still prefer to buy CDs but we're so munificent and you can have sonically inferior MP3 downloads instead because it's what the kids want and it's so much better to listen to MORE music on NEWER equipment than it is to listen to GOOD music on just about any equipment.)

As a musician myself, it is my sincerest wish that art and artists would be accorded the respect they deserve. I'd love to see good work justly compensated for and while I am an optimist at heart, I'm also not in denial. I know that that the industry will continue to drain and suck dry whatever floats past their clutches.

So, if you're going to be exploitative bastards, at least have some taste.


*How many Mafioso would risk taking a bullet for Jordan Sparks? Susan Boyle? Anyone???? Hello????
** Kurt, how good does it feel to know that your beloved Sonic Youth did a compilation CD for Starbucks?
*** No one made Billie Holiday comfortable. They arrested the poor schlub while she was in hospital....dying.

Original Falcon (publishers of RAW among others) are soliciting submissions for a TFYS type project. See below:

# Jack Wilde, co-author and director of Radical Undoing Volumes 5 and 6 has asked us to let you know that:

    "I am writing to ask all of you for contributions to an upcoming multimedia PDF and print-based magazine called Fuck Your Brain. I will accept a wide range of contributions in many different subject areas, including but not limited to: artworks, photos, music pieces, videos, and text of many kinds.

    Here is a bit from the About page:
    FuckYourBrain is an online, print, and PDF-based fountain of knowledge and delight. The mission? To promote deliberate human evolution, to provide the material for new creations, to encourage neurogenesis, to provide data on epigenetics, to appreciate and adore beauty and power, and to advance the possibility of life extension and immortality, all with a deep sense of personal enjoyment and empowerment for all who take part in the show.

    Click here to read more extensive submission guidelines, click here to read about the guiding principle for contributions. Submit all contributions to:

    Thanks. The Editor, FuckYourBrain."

# Also just off press are Revised Editions of two of the best Chaos Magick books ever: Phil Hine's Condensed Chaos and Prime Chaos. You might also want to take a look at a recent interview with Phil at
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Asperger's Cured!
February 11, 2010, 07:59:45 PM
That's right, there's no more Asperger's Syndrome. It was cured through diagnostic redefinition.
Is he a particle? Is he a wave? Is he a Socialist? Is he facist? If he's put in a box with Schrodinger's cat, will he live or die? Does he have political superposition? How does one 'collapse' him into political reality?

Why it depends on who is observing because he is AMERICA'S FIRST QUANTUM PRESIDENT!

All joking aside (and yes, I deliberately used the 'Q word' to both attract and annoy) we seem to be in a condition whereby it's become really fucking difficult to know what is going on with anything, especially when it comes to major political figures.

Now, just for the record I am not making a pro or anti Obama position so much as trying to figure out WTF is going on.

Cain, very ably supplied this list --> and it's accompanying links. The bottom line seems that the current administration is Bush's unoffical 3rd term.

Meanwhile, while ambling around my local Barnes & Noble on Friday I came across the following:

Here's the jacket blurb:

Editorial Reviews
Product Description
White House speechwriter Marc Thiessen was locked in a secure room and given access to the most sensitive intelligence when he was tasked to write President George W. Bush's 2006 speech explaining the CIA's interrogation program and why Congress should authorize it. Few know more about these CIA operations than Thiessen, and in his new book, Courting Disaster, he documents just how effective the CIA's interrogations were in foiling attacks on America, penetrating al-Qaeda's high command, and providing our military with actionable intelligence. Thiessen also shows how reckless President Obama has been in shutting down the CIA's program and releasing secret documents that have aided our enemies. Courting Disaster proves:

How the CIA program thwarted specific deadly attacks against the U.S.
Why "enhanced interrogation" was not torture by any reasonable legal or moral standard
How the information gained by "enhanced interrogation" could not have been acquired any other way
How President Obama's actions since taking office have left America much more vulnerable to attack

In chilling detail, Thiessen reveals how close the terrorists came to striking again, how intelligence gained from "enhanced interrogation" repeatedly stymied their plots, and how President Obama's dismantling of this CIA program is inviting disaster for America.

From the Inside Flap
Waterboarding Al Qaeda Leaders Prevented Terrorist Attacks and Saved Thousands of Lives...

Now Barack Obama Wants to Prosecute The Men and Women Who Kept Us Safe

Marc Thiessen knows more than almost anyone outside the CIA about what went on at CIA "black sites" and at the detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. As chief speechwriter for President Bush, he was given unprecedented access to some of the most sensitive intelligence our government possessed on al Qaeda terrorists. He has since spent countless hours interviewing the men and women involved in the interrogations at every level—from Vice President Dick Cheney to the interrogators themselves. What he reveals is a shocking, thoroughly documented account of just how close we came to suffering follow-on 9/11 attacks, how so-called "enhanced interrogation techniques" (including waterboarding) were directly responsible for unearthing the actionable intelligence that foiled them, and the extraordinary measures the Bush administration took to stay well within the bounds of what was not only legally but morally right.

Courting Disaster shows how America's dedicated intelligence professionals went head-to-head with the world's most dangerous terrorists, and won—only to have Barack Obama expose America's secrets to the enemy, endorse smears against our intelligence officers, and put them at risk of prosecution for defending our country. In Courting Disaster, Thiessen reveals:

Why "enhanced interrogation techniques" did not qualify as torture by any objective standard
Specific terrorist plots foiled by the CIA, based on information that came from "enhanced interrogation"—ranging from attacks against Los Angeles and London to the breaking up of an al Qaeda cell that was developing anthrax for terrorist attacks inside the United States
New evidence that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi knew about and approved CIA waterboarding
The real stories of abuse at Guantanamo—not of the detainees by the guards, but of the guards by the detainees, and how released detainees have returned to the jihad
How the Obama administration is giving captured terrorists more legal rights than are granted to legitimate prisoners of war—and denying our intelligence officers tools that police officers use everyday to question common criminals
How information released by Barack Obama has aided our enemies and put America at greater risk of another terrorist attack

Step right up Ladeez an Gentlemen....see the magnificent Quantum President! He's PRO-TORTURE, He's ANTI-TORTURE  - ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!

He's the new BUSH, he's nothing like BUSH - ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!
He's denying detainees of their rights yet, he's giving them more rights than US citizens!!


*plea for sanity

Or Kill Me / Attn: RHWN - Tiger Woods Redux
December 22, 2009, 10:20:31 PM
People keep on talking about Tiger Woods, his affairs, the endorsements ad nauseum. At first I was like you, I felt that we should be getting 'real news' about 'serious issues' rather than people wringing their hands about whether Mr Woods is a suitable role model for people who buy shaving products.

Various people would tell me their opinons on the matter. Perhaps the most consistent complaint was that he had, somehow, 'cheated' them. The reasoning behind this is that many people believe that TW portrayed himself as a 'family man' and thus, by having multiple (alleged) affairs, he had let them down.

The whole issue put me in the mind, oddly enough, of Princess Diana. Or, Diana Princess of Wales as she was known after the divorce. I remember way back in 1982 when a very large section of the world watched the lavish wedding , myself included. Cue lots of gushing rhetoric about princesses, fairy tales and all that other shit. What we did not know at the time was that this was simply: ILLUSION NUMBER ONE.

Jump ahead a decade and it's 1992. The British papers are buzzing with all sorts of stories concerning the marital failure of the Royal couple. Who cheated? Who with? When? Where? How? Was it any good? etc etc. It was at this time, Diana went from being the girl of fairy tales to being cast as a 'slut' or 'crazy' or even a 'crazy slut'. Charles got a good kicking too as did the equine object of his affections, Camilla! And so we unveilled ILLUSION  NUMBER TWO.

(Incidentally, someone asked me what I thought when Charles got re-married. They had, unfortunately, assumed that  because I lived in the UK for twenty-something years, that I actually cared about the Royal Family. I replied 'You mean, someone I don't know married someone else I don't know?')

1997. Diana ends up in a car wreck in Paris. Before the blood had so much as congealed the public outpouring of grief in Britain reached the most worrying of proportions. Some pro-republican journalists were given the week off to stop them writing about it. There were even night club owners warning stand up comics that they could not, under any circumstances, do any 'Diana Jokes'. Elton John even managed to very (thoughtfully?) re-write his tribute to Marilyn Monroe, 'Candle In the Wind' to make it even more saccharine and awful. Not to  mention he made the lyric completely incomphrensible to boot. There was much wailing, gnashing of teeth and rending of garments. Diana wasn't a crazy slut, no sir - she was DUH PEEPLES PRINCESZ!!! And lo as if by magic, ILLUSION NUMBER THREE was born.

Because here's the thing. - people are complex and anyone who prides themselves on being a 'free thinker' know that the media is largely comprised of lying, sensationalizing, sons-of-bitches who would sell their own kith & kin for the chance of getting pics of  celebrities being dead. And if not dead then a least drunk, stoned, naked or doing something unfeasably stupid. Anyone who is a free thinker knows that the mass media is designed for mass consumption aimed at the lowest common denominator - thus all subtlty, all nuance, all complexity is banished for the annoyance that it is to 'Breaking News!!!'

2009. Turns out that Tiger Woods is a horn dog. It's kind of funny for me, because I didn't even know the dude was married. The first I knew of Elan was when 'teh big story' broke along with his face and a chunk of his SUV. When people talked to me about it, they expressed a great deal of indignant rage that, somehow, Tiger had cheated on them too. Then there's the doofus who shut down his 'Tiger Woods Is God' website because of his 'sin' but that's a whole other rant for another day.

Thing is, I don' t know Tiger Woods. I never met him. I've never spoken to him. I never asked him if he cheated on his wife and he never said 'No Mang, I really didn't.' I never was under the impression that he got his endorsements because he was a responsible husband. I assumed he got them because he was ridiculously famous on account of him being ridiculously good at playing  golf. I was never under the impression that big companies were interested in him  because he was a family man but because he was really fucking famous and that's a great thing to attach to whatever product you're selling.

And then I realized that once again we just shifted from one illusion to another. We took multi faceted  human  beings (Tiger, his wife, the girlfriends etc) and we turned them into superficial, convenient, two dimensional images to feed our 'moral outrage as entertainment' complex. First he's the 'family man' and then he's the 'evil philanderer' all at the click of a button.

But America isn't really mad at Tiger Woods. It's mad at itself. Got fooled again by the oldest trick in the book.


Art imitates life imitates art etc.
I did check the Post Office does have these!

USPS New  44-Cent Stamp!!!   Celebrates  Muslim holiday

If  there is only ONE thing you forward  today... let it be  this!

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of Pan Am Flight 103!

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of the World Trade Center in  1993!

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of the Marine Barracks in   Lebanon !

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of the military Barracks in   Saudi Arabia !

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of the American Embassies in   Africa !

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM bombing of the USS COLE!

REMEMBER  the MUSLIM attack on 9/11/2001 !

REMEMBER  all the AMERICAN lives that were lost in those  vicious MUSLIM attacks!

Now  President Obama has directed the United States Postal Service to REMEMBER and  HONOR the EID MUSLIM holiday season with a new  commemorative 44 Cent (.44 and it says ..42) First Class Holiday  Postage Stamp..

REMEMBER  to adamantly & vocally BOYCOTT this  stamp, when you are purchasing your  stamps at the post office.

All  you have to say is "No thank  you, I do not want that Muslim Stamp on my  letters!"

To use  this stamp would be a slap in the face to all  those AMERICANS who died at the hands of those  whom this stamp honors.

pass this  along to every Patriotic  AMERICAN that you know and lets get the word  out !!!

Here is  something to chew on...

They  (MUSLIMS) don't even believe in Christ, & they're  getting their own Christmas stamp!  BUT, don't dare to dream of posting the ten commandments on federal property! This is truly UNBELIEVABLE !!! 


Someone I work with got this e-mail yesterday. Turns out that Mrs Mang' also received this from some knuckle dragger (whose Christmas card will most definitely have an Eid stamp on it).

And what struck me was ''s that easy to stir up bullshit & hatred.'

I thought for a moment and the following occurred to me:

a) Given how trivial the modern media is, this almost certainly would be reported. Dumber things than this have captured national attention (cf Balloon Boy, the AMAs etc)
b) Does the president really have the time to decide what goes on stamps? Doesn't the Post Office do this? Postmaster General perhaps?
c) I'm suspicious that the word 'muslim' always appears in caps.
d) The MUSLIMS aren't getting a Christmas stamp...they're getting an Eid stamp.
e) Yes, this is truly unbelievable, but not for the reasons cited.

So I went to the website of the United States Postal Service. They do indeed sell these stamps and have done since 2001. Wait a minute...remind me who the president was in 2001? Oh yes.....the smirky pseudo-Texan 'Islam is peace!' guy. Hmm.

It's that easy. I don't know why it's that easy or why my first instinct was not to say 'FUCKIN' MOOSLIMS...FUCK THEM AND THEIR STAMP' but to say 'this is surely a hoax' (which it is).

I guess there's no point to this post. It's not a rant or directed in any direction.....just an observation and how little effort is required to stir stupid people into a frenzy. Can this principle be used to our benefit?

Bolded for  :horrormirth:

The Duggars Expecting 19th Child
Tue Sep 1, 6:05 AM PDT

TV's biggest reality family is getting bigger.

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of TLC's "18 Kids and Counting" are expecting their 19th child, People reported.

VIEW THE PHOTOS: Keepin' It Real With TV's Hottest Reality Stars!

"We are so thrilled," Michelle, 42, told the mag. "We just couldn't believe it is happening."

Michelle is expected to give birth five months after daughter-in-law Anna gives birth to the Duggar's first grandchild.
VIEW THE PHOTOS: Hollywood's Biggest Broods

Anna, 21, is expecting a girl next month with the Duggars' oldest son, Joshua, 21.

"I love all of this, it is so fun," Michelle said. "Anna and I will have babies five months apart. My mother and my sister were pregnant at the same time and it was really wonderful. The kids were really close and still are. I have a nephew who grew up with me, we're just three months apart."

Michelle also told the mag that her 19th pregnancy came as a surprise.

VIEW THE PHOTOS: The Latest Star Sightings

"I was in Weight Watchers with Jim Bob and I wasn't losing any weight," she said. "I couldn't figure it out. I was doing what I should. And the baby, who was nursing, was fussy. I kept thinking, 'This isn't right. She isn't teething, she doesn't have an ear infection. I'm not cheating on my diet, I should be losing weight.' Then, I put two and two together and wondered if I could possibly be pregnant."

:argh!: :argh!: :argh!:




:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: