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Messages - Doktor Howl

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 ... 2016
16
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 04, 2021, 07:24:03 am »
Yesterday the temperature in Saskatoon reached 39C and it was too hot and then everybody died.

The End.

Welcome to Tucson.

17
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 02, 2021, 10:30:27 pm »
possible to add an fill-in-the-blank question to registration? Just something like "if you're not a bot, type hello "
Theres actually two questions and a google captcha, which makes me think they are circumventing the registration process in some way (smf bug or outdated issue)

The one thing that would really help but I just have not had the time to do is integrate stopforumspam for their api, which would check if the email or domain is a dodgy one.
so even if they get past the registration process it just auto shitcans them at the end.

No rush, it's not the end of the world.  It's just a pain in the ass.

18
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 02, 2021, 04:20:40 pm »
possible to add an fill-in-the-blank question to registration? Just something like "if you're not a bot, type hello "

Faust has tried all manner of things.  I'm not sure if the software allows that.

19
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 01, 2021, 10:28:39 pm »
One proof that capitalism is fucked in the head is the sheer number of ad bots trying to get onto a BBS that has maybe 5 people posting 5 times a week.

Jesus Christ, it never ends.

20
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: July 01, 2021, 06:13:36 pm »

you realise your home is a Saw like deathtrap and literally everything needs to be locked up or get coated in rubber.


THIS.  Toddlers are self-destruction machines that will go totally haywire the moment you turn your back.

21
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: July 01, 2021, 06:07:38 pm »
Today at work:

Luis:  "I think I'm ready to retire."

Me:  "By an odd coincidence, your pay went up $5/hour."

Luis:  "But I'm tired.  I want to go home.  I'll be 69 next week."

Me:  "If you work a year or two at the new rate, your social security checks will be measurably larger, AND you'll get the higher rate for late retirement."

Luis:  "You son of a bitch."

Me:  "We're going to do great things.  Forever."

22
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: June 30, 2021, 09:43:20 pm »
Donald Rumsfeld croaked.

Boy, today has been a mixed bag.

23
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: June 30, 2021, 09:39:27 pm »
Also, they let Bill Cosby out of jail because the DA fucked up.

24
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: June 30, 2021, 07:19:16 pm »
To avoid having to raise wages post-pandemic, Russell Stover is now using prison labor in their facilities.

I expect a lot of this to go around.

25
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 30, 2021, 03:57:34 pm »
Creative geniuses are fungible.

The internet has brought in a golden age of access to, and ability to discover, new media. There is no shortage of talented people producing high-quality entertainment.  Sure, you won't find writers like Ellis hanging out in every coffeeshop, but he doesn't have a monopoly, or anything.  You don't feel like supporting one writer, for whatever reason, you can find another.


...I've been toying the above theory for a while, now, but I don't know if I actually believe it.  Could you replace a Gen Urobuchi, or a Yoko Kanno?  My gut says no.

And I knew Ellis was an asshole, but I watched season 4 of Castlevania anyway.

Warren Ellis can kiss my entire ass.  I didn't think much of him as a person before the blow up, because he's an arrogant windy bastard who is often too impressed with himself to, you know, write.

However, he CAN write.  Fell is a story I have wanted finished for more than a decade, and he's got Ben Templesmith back on board.

And, as Altered says

Quote
Speaking for myself, some kinds of hurt cut too close to the bone for me to deal with. Being near some kinds of people is as dangerous to me as if they were actually doing shit to me. I can acknowledge and understand cancelling creators. I do it myself. I donít think anyone here listens to Lostprophets or Ted Nugent, reads the really racist Lovecraft stuff (I mean yeah itís all racist as fuck but some of it is waaaay worse than others), or so on and so forth.

There is for every person a line.  JK Rowling is a good example.  She is so wealthy she can literally do whatever she chooses, but what she chooses to do is spend all of her time on hate campaigns against transgender folks.  This crosses the line between "Arrogant bastard writer" and "Literally reading fiction written by Goebbels."  I wouldn't use one of her books as a doorstop.

Lovecraft is another type of case, where he had personal failings and odious habits that really only impacted those in direct proximity to him, but he was a shitty writer.  He was a great world builder, and I read stuff set in his setting all the time, just not HIS work.  Because the racism and misogyny is embedded in every line, on top of the fact that he never ended a story properly in his life.

I won't touch his stuff, whereas I will read Robert E Howard if nothing else is available.  He was also a great world builder and a shitty writer, but he had black folks as heroes and villains, and women as heroes and villains, and in each case, the person (good or bad) had a personality written into the story so that you'd know why they were good or bad...Whereas Lovecraft relied on the fact that they were all smudgy so therefore evil.

To me, this entire thing took Warren Ellis from "someone I'd like to meet for a VERY short time" to "shut up and write."  The critical difference being that unlike Rowling, Ellis doesn't use his platform or his writing to spread hate, he's just a shitty person.

26
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 30, 2021, 03:45:23 pm »
Ill have to watch that, since baba I don't play much of the long story games, just stuff I can play for 10 min or so and put down

hahah is this my fate? to only play games in 10 min chunks?
baby sleeps sometimes though, right? Surely you can fit in an RPG now and then? he asked hopefully

Baby sleeps.  After about 6 months.  You have no chance to survive, make your time.

27
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 29, 2021, 07:28:01 pm »
Also

Quote
All of the women, those who are trans, those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community, all of the POC, all those who love this medium as much as you do, all of whom create such wonderful, beautiful work and deserve to feel welcome and to belong in this industry, where do we go? Because we canít stay here.

This sounds like a self-inflicted wound.  I work with a couple of genuinely bad people, real predators.  I could quit, I suppose, while holding my nose and having the vapors.  Instead, I will continue to work and earn my money and make things rough on the two bastards when I have half a chance.

28
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« on: June 29, 2021, 07:25:24 pm »
I will be buying Fell when it continues.

I am done canceling artists for being assholes.  It occurred to me that we'd have to throw away 75% of humanity's cultural heritage (first thing that would have to go would be all of Dante's work, along with almost every single age of enlightenment artist, sculptor, or writer), and frankly I don't have any interest in Warren Ellis as anything other than a writer.

Also, at a personal level I have experience what happens when you go along with the mob.

29
Apple Talk / Re: Letters to James
« on: June 28, 2021, 07:20:30 pm »
Of course the formatting fucked up.  Of course.  :crankey:

30
Apple Talk / Re: Letters to James
« on: June 28, 2021, 07:17:35 pm »
Week 2

James,

So here we are at week two of your stay in Facebook jail.  By now I am sure you have learned the basicsÖbleaching your cell once a day, avoiding any physical contact with other inmates to prevent staph infections, and how to make a shiv out of a toothbrush.  How to read the market to know when a pack of cigarettes has achieved maximum value.  That sort of thing.

Time in the joint changes a man.  Especially Facebook jail.  The prison library only contains a book with Zuck on the cover, titled ďYou Canít Say That.Ē  The yard is either Netflix or some hoary old standalone forum that has 2 active users, one of whom thinks heís a dragon or something, and the other is busy blogging every grotty detail of his ass-achingly boring life.  Itís no wonder people go nuts when they get out.

I would counsel going outside, but youíre in Ohio.  You wouldnít get three steps out the door before you were accosted by Representative John Becker, who wants to know why you support forced abortions on married white women.  Or worse, Wes Goodman explaining that all the anti-Gay crap he spouted doesnít apply to HIM, because it was just a momentary lapse on his part, Jesus has forgiven him, why canít you?  Just give him his job back, heíll whimper, and Godís plan will be right back on track.

You have to be firm with these people, James.  You have to say ďNOĒ and maybe hit them with a brick.  Otherwise, theyíll be on your doorstep at 2 AM with their pants full of shit and a silly grin on their faces.  Not even the Book of Revelation promised a horde of hayseed yahoos pounding at your door like some George Romero-inspired opium dream, but it will happen.  Youíve been too lax with them.  Here in Arizona, the anti-everything street preachers watch their backs.  They know we love drugs and rock n roll and booze and the CHARLESTON, the devilís own dance!  Being Gay or transgender or whatever is meaningless because we all wear zoot suits all the time.  And, boy, do we love whooping on street preachers.

You should probably grab that guy of yours, stuff everything you can into a rented car, and head West.  Bring loads of ammo, because you need to come through Oklahoma.  Just tack weld a cupola on top for dude to shoot from, and youíre all set.  NOTE: Wearing trashed leathers and partial football padding gets you bonus points and tells the Oklahoma highway patrol to find easier people to hassle.

Then you want to head South out of Amarillo and catch New Mexico highway 70 down through Roswell (do not stop), all the way to Las Cruces.  Jump onto Interstate 10 West and itís a straight shot to Tucson.  You will pass The Thing (do not stop) before you get to Wilcox (do not stop), and somewhere in there youíll hit The Wall.  Itís not a physical wall, itís the heat dome, where the temperature goes from a mild 100 to an outright amazing 110-120.  Personal conflicts stop at The Wall.  Itís a whole mood.  It is simply to unbelievably hot to get excited about much.

I believe that area is on fire at the moment, so be careful.

Anyway, once youíre here you can forget about all those horrible inbreds that plague you in that awful rusty state you are currently stuck in.  And Lord Humungous is always hiring, so thereís no worry about getting a job.  Especially if you opted for the trashed leathers on the way down.

Tips for surviving and getting along in Tucson
  • ē   You will keep 5 gallons of water and a space blanket in the trunk of the car for every person travelling. Even if itís just down to the store to buy weed or whatever the hell it is that you young people are doing now.  On foot here, your lifespan is measured in hours, not days.
    ē   It is 1973 in Tucson and has been for 50 years.  Neil Sedaka is president and breaking up is hard to do.  This may seem odd, but 1973 was the height of fabulousness in America, and also the time machine only goes back that far for reasons that are too technical to go into right now.
    ē   If the police are throwing up, donít look.  Thereís nothing good for you there.
    ē   You canít leave.  But who would want to?  Itís heaven, only without the annoying people who are supposed to get into heaven.  Itís one of Godís little jokes.  All of THOSE bastards get stuck in a Rotarian Club meeting until the end of time.
    ē   Tarantula hawks, javalinas, type B Mojave rattlers, and mountain lions are common here, but only attack if you annoy them.  You annoy them by being in the same county as them.
    ē   The state is frequently on fire or flooded.  Sometimes both.  This is just part of the routine maintenance and is no cause for alarm.
    ē   The club scene is hopping here, but if youíre over 32, go to the Hotel Congress, which is all ages.  Old farts trying to get into clubs here become entertainment for everyone else.  Thing usually end with the creeper being bodily thrown into traffic. 
    ē   If you see a drug deal going down in the street, wait your turn and social distance.
    ē   The entire city is composed of the cast of Half Baked.  Donít annoy Scarface.
    ē   The Management cannot be held responsible is you get overwritten with someone elseís identity.  This bug is an inherent part of the source code and we canít get rid of it without Tucson sliding back into the sidereal universe.  So, if you wake up as Burt Reynolds, just go with it.  Youíll be back to normal in no time.
    ē   Second Saturday parties are the best thing ever.  Google it.
    ē   This IS the cow level.  The cake, however, is still a lie.  The muffin is a mild exaggeration.

    So, there you have it.  How can you refuse?  Yes, you have to watch out for the Grabby Girls and the Cult of the Black Madonna, but nothing is perfect.  It beats the hell out of dying miserably on a grey ice sheet somewhere in Ohio, anyway.

    Now I must get back to work.  Jared needs me to throw morale all over him, because he called in sick the day of the morale meeting, and itís sort of an all hands thing.

    Up the Revolution,
    Che Guevera





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