I was warned.
Oh, I was warned.
I was going to get a maximum of 3 months of "help", more likely a month.
It started off fine. People flocked to throw money at GFM, they offered services from across the country (somehow), and pretended to enter their information in a google form for contact when the going got tough.
And then then disappeared.
Sure, the mother-in-law was here. She sat on the fucking couch reading social media while I cooked, cleaned, went to work, went to class, and cleaned up my husband's vomit in between. It was sure nice of her to water my plants and do his laundry, though. Oh, she started dinner one day because he was hungry before I came home from work. He made sure I brought her everything she needed, too. After she didn't shower for a week, I finally pried out of her that she needed shampoo, but she couldn't be bothered to ask for a ride to the store. Yes, a ride. She can't drive, you see. I had to cart her places, and my mom drove the hour to help get Jeff home from chemo on the days I could not. I warned them both about cleaning the kitchen completely after cooking or the bugs would come back. Within 2 days of this warning, she complained about seeing a bug. Why don't I simply find a better apartment?
I was offered housekeeping help by nearby friends. I asked them to show up last week. "Oh," they said, "Something came up." Nothing since.
I was offered meals by local friends. "Oh," they said, "You have weird dietary needs. Can you just order takeout every night?" The only people still bringing me food are the vegans. THE VEGANS.
When my messaging liaison posts on social media asking for more assistance, the answer is always, "I'm too far away, sorry." My mom still drives an hour to give my husband and ride, and then drives right back despite, "hating city traffic".
I've been yelled at about staying in school. I've been yelled at for working. He's my vocation, you see, he's my sole purpose to exist. This "sole purpose" made it perfectly clear I need to continue to work and study and have a life. I can't hover over him all day, it's not good for me. But he also runs out of breath doing the dishes and then whines that I can't help him enough. I choked in the kitchen last night tasting dinner, and had to kick on a cabinet for help as I gasped for air. By the time he got into the kitchen with water, my face was purple and hot. Dinner got burned. Good thing the MiL left otherwise this would have been my fault.
I go out to an art opening for a friend, I feel guilty.
I have a glass of wine after work, I feel guilty.
I came home yesterday to a mess of trash from projects he started, but got too tired to finish. So, before I could sit down, I had to bring it all to the dumpster after feeding the cat. By the time I did sit down, I burst into tears because the first thing I was asked was to get dinner started. I was stuck in traffic for an hour because of a concert on campus. I literally forgot how to drive while going to pick up dinner at the meal prep place 20min away. All I wanted to do was sit down with a glass of water for a few minutes.
I'm behind on my reading and assignments for the week. Again.
This is my new normal, though. I have been told to suck it up, and deal. I've also been told I'm getting fat again and I need to "devote time to myself" and get back in shape and maintaining my diet. When? I don't even have time to vacuum.
Sure would be nice to have all that help people promised 2 months ago. Now they're just asking if he's dead yet to get out of their empty promises.
I was told I "have to take care of myself" by the same people who call me fat and tell me I needed to quit everything to devote my entire life to him.
I'm still disappointed COVID didn't kill us all off.
But hey, "I gotta take care of myself."
Yeah, I used to have friends like that. Then I got the shocking realization that I only have a dozen or so actual friends. It took a long time to get over being angry at people for not being what I thought they were. So believe me, I feel you.
The friends you have with you when you are in need are the only friends you have. The rest are acquaintances. If you treat acquaintances like friends, you're going to get hurt.
The principal difference is that a friend cares for you as a person, not just a laugh or a good time.
Also:
QuoteI've been yelled at about staying in school. I've been yelled at for working. He's my vocation, you see, he's my sole purpose to exist. This "sole purpose" made it perfectly clear I need to continue to work and study and have a life.
The sole purpose is correct in his opinion. Assuming the worst happens, these same people will then berate you for not working or studying to be able to fend for yourself afterward.
90% of everyone are shitbags. You can avoid noticing this until one day you can't avoid it.
Yeah, that whole, "I need to take care of myself" vibe has turned into a screaming fibro flare today.
I also really like the part where it went from, "How can I help?" to, "I can't actually help, how long does he have?" Basically, "I want him to die so I am free from this social contract and can just show up for snacks at the funeral."
People are fucking terrible, Dok. You're right.
Quote from: Suu on September 07, 2022, 11:50:18 PM
Yeah, that whole, "I need to take care of myself" vibe has turned into a screaming fibro flare today.
I also really like the part where it went from, "How can I help?" to, "I can't actually help, how long does he have?" Basically, "I want him to die so I am free from this social contract and can just show up for snacks at the funeral."
People are fucking terrible, Dok. You're right.
Most people truly do have an aversion to the suffering of others.
The people worth knowing will deliberately work past that. The ones that are not worth knowing will do as you describe, or even chastise you for "demanding emotional labor," because THEY'RE the victim here, buddy.
Also, I missed most of this on FB because I got deleted. I only knew that he was sick with cancer or something.
What's going on?
I didn't even know about the cancer. I guess facebook was too busy showing me bullshit.
Ouch. It sucks just knowing that.
Dok's right, I agree. Get rid of the people making this worse, as much as you can. You obviously don't need worse with something like this going on.
Long story short, after deployment, Jeff started to get upper right quadrant pain. The boat's doc chalked it off as gas, an ulcer (WRONG SIDE OF THE STOMACH ASSHOLE), and acid reflux. Anything they could to stop him from getting fully checked out. On the 4th of July he went into acute liver failure and went to the ER the day after. He was 2 days from death. Biliary blockage, sounded to me like bad gallstones.
No. The blockage was because his liver is being consumed by innumerable neuroendocrine tumors that metastasized from a mass in his sigmoid colon. It's also in his lungs, bone (spine), and sticking on random things in his torso. He went from being arguably normal and healthy to a stage 4 cancer patient in 3 weeks. They stabilized his liver with a stent and lots of meds, and then the chemo started. 2 rounds at the Naval Hospital in VA, and now he's here in Tampa at one of the best cancer centers in the nation because there was no fucking way I was going to let him continue to stay up there when I'm here, and I have Moffitt.
Neuroendocrine is rare. The usual suspect of colorectal cancer is adenocarcinoma. Neuroendocrine is its own evil fucker that accounts for only 7000 diagnoses per year in the US, and usual in men over 60. It's almost always found metastatic because of the way it flies under the radar. It spreads by corrupting hormones and shooting them off versus pieces of itself. It is pure fucking malice. We don't know how he got it, there's some genetic predisposition to cancer, but not this type. The radiation he gets on submarines is less than the sun, and bubbleheads are subjected to regular physicals. However, he did complain of bloody stools 2 years ago (I saw it, I made him say something), and again, the doc chalked it off as hemorrhoids. Friends: bleeding from the ass is not normal. 2 years for cancer is a damn lifetime. The oncologist at the naval hospital was PISSED when he found out, because we could have just been dealing with polyps at that point, not a 6cm cue ball. I plan on reaching out to a lawyer soon. Corpsmen are not being trained properly and are putting needs of the Navy ahead of life threatening conditions. I'm no doctor, but I know better than to fuck around with severe abdominal pain and bloody shit.
Prognosis is grim, we're looking at 6 months to 2 years on just chemo, but, imaging shows tumor necropsy after 2 rounds, so the Navy did give him the right cocktail, and then Moffitt tweaked it to reduce side effects. He has round 4 next week, and he's halfway through with this infusion schedule. The largest tumors have shrunk by 2cm, this is an excellent response, but not all of them are responding. His liver looks like its full of marbles. Because of the stage of this disease, he is not a candidate for transplant. This is it. We get it under control and we keep him alive for as along as the drugs work. Once they stop working? Welp. Moffitt is going to see about immunotherapy, which is powerful and effective in the long term, but not always against this type of cancer. If it takes, we're looking at a potential 8-10 years added back on his life. (Seriously, this SCIENCE is fucking GLORIOUS) but it all depends on what continues to respond to the chemo. He's already bald, can't taste shit, lost 25lbs, and sleeps all the time. Compound this on a hip injury the Navy also didn't look at (not even a fucking X-Ray or MRI which could have detected anomalies sooner) and he's moving slow. His appetite is good, and his nausea is controlled by medication. His largest tumor in his liver has shrunk enough to where its off his abdomen wall, and he can lay on his side again while sleeping. (I could see the hematoma, fucking horrible.)
His team at Moffitt is amazing. He's in phenomenal hands and we're optimistic about treatment since he's already showing response. But, I'm also a realist, and so is he. We took out a life insurance advance and cleared all debt.
This whole thing fucking sucks. He's just 41.
Well, that really sucks, and I'm sorry this is happening to you two.
I only met Jeff a couple of times, but I like him a great deal.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 10, 2022, 12:12:59 AM
Well, that really sucks, and I'm sorry this is happening to you two.
I only met Jeff a couple of times, but I like him a great deal.
He's too good for me, really. Figures.
But he's handling chemo like a fucking champ, just sleeping a lot.
I got this today. The teal/white is for my cervical cancer, the zebra is for his neuroendocrine.
His white blood cell count is too high, rather than dropping.
This could be a side effect of the chemo, or, indicative of possible leukemia, which means metastasis into his bone marrow.
This is fine. :kingmeh:
Trying to cope with my own shit: Anger projection.
I'm not exactly Ms. Sunshine on an average day, but I did work pretty hard to reduce my anger for several years, mostly after Jeff and I got together. That self-awareness went up in smoke. Thanos snapped and so did I.
I'm both amused and horrified at my behavior. On one hand: it didn't take long to unravel years of growth and therapy, on the other, I turned back into the heartless monster I was known for. So well that I got myself a perma-ban from Twitter. Don't get me wrong, they totally deserved it, but Twitter also needs to be held accountable for their population of white supremacists they still allow on the platform. I'll get consistently attacked and my DMs flooded by the usual deplorable suspects, but this week I went full on no quarter and got what I deserved I guess. My patience is non-existent, and my empathy is well and truly gone. When my drunk mother tried to lament to me how her marriage to my father is falling apart (it has been for decades, really), I stood there without emotion and asked her if she was trying to usurp the fact that my husband is fucking dying, or if she really cared that much if my dad got her a cake for her birthday or not. I flat out told her that once Jeff was gone, I was taking off and never coming back.
The truth is, I don't really fucking care, and while that sounds like a good thing, I feel like a goddamn psychopath. Either I feel nothing at all, or I am ready to burn it all down, with nothing in between. It's 100% a trauma response, but it's starting to have consequences. Twitter doesn't matter, but my abrasiveness at school is going to start causing issues, so I need to check myself. Losing the support of my family will cost me as well.
Self-care is a fucking joke when things get like this. I haven't even found time to color my hair before I go on a trip this week for school.
Quote from: Suu on September 18, 2022, 03:11:13 PM
I'm both amused and horrified at my behavior. On one hand: it didn't take long to unravel years of growth and therapy, on the other, I turned back into the heartless monster I was known for. So well that I got myself a perma-ban from Twitter. Don't get me wrong, they totally deserved it, but Twitter also needs to be held accountable for their population of white supremacists they still allow on the platform.
Yeah, that's pretty much why I haven't gone back to FB or Twitter.
QuoteI flat out told her that once Jeff was gone, I was taking off and never coming back.
You're never too old to do the Lido Shuffle.
Quote
You're never too old to do the Lido Shuffle.
WHOAHOOOOOAHHHOOOOOOO
Change Chi-Town to Tucson. WHAT COULD GO WRONG
Holy shit, I Am Tired.
That is today's rant.
Quote from: Suu on September 19, 2022, 12:01:26 AM
Quote
You're never too old to do the Lido Shuffle.
WHOAHOOOOOAHHHOOOOOOO
Change Chi-Town to Tucson. WHAT COULD GO WRONG
Nothing! We're literally up to our noses in potable water! It hasn't stopped raining since June 12th. We all died.
Quote
Nothing! We're literally up to our noses in potable water! It hasn't stopped raining since June 12th. We all died.
TRADE OFFER:
https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at4+shtml/205737.shtml?cone#contents
Quote from: Suu on September 24, 2022, 11:50:27 PM
Quote
Nothing! We're literally up to our noses in potable water! It hasn't stopped raining since June 12th. We all died.
TRADE OFFER:
https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at4+shtml/205737.shtml?cone#contents
Just get a sharpie and move that shit.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on September 25, 2022, 09:16:28 AM
Quote from: Suu on September 24, 2022, 11:50:27 PM
Quote
Nothing! We're literally up to our noses in potable water! It hasn't stopped raining since June 12th. We all died.
TRADE OFFER:
https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at4+shtml/205737.shtml?cone#contents
Just get a sharpie and move that shit to Mar A Lago.
FIXT.
LOL we're gonna get fucking wailed. This one should miss poor Squid at least, she's gotten the brunt of the last few.
To add insult to injury, my cat is now hyperthyroid. It's a common disease in senior kitties, and it can be managed with medication, however, he's having serious difficulty coming out of the seemingly-mild sedation benzo they injected him with yesterday at the vet, and here we are, 36hrs later and he's still out of it, not wanting to eat. He did take his meds this afternoon in pill pockets, but it won't kick it that quickly. I need him to come out of this funk because cats will go into liver failure without food.
The other option is the radioactive iodine treatment, but he has to be in the cat hospital for a week after the injection because it literally makes him radioactive, and makes his poop radioactive. He's got some trauma from shelter life, so I don't know if I can do this. He barely handled having to stay for a day last year when he was getting a biopsy on his lipoma. I guess the best thing to do is wait the couple of weeks to see how he reacts to the medication.
This is fine. I get to watch both my husband and my cat waste away at the same time.
Fucking envy me.
I'm starting to make plans to scram as soon as their both gone. I fully plan to take my PhD and flee the country at this point, that is, if I'm not a fucking handmaid by that point.
Well I gathered from FB snippets that he was sick, but I didn't really know the whole score.
That fucking sucks and I'm sorry. If you ever need to vent or rant to someone who's been a sole caretaker for a submariner that was the person they loved most in the world I got your friggin back, yo.
Quote from: The Mgt on October 23, 2022, 04:07:24 AM
Well I gathered from FB snippets that he was sick, but I didn't really know the whole score.
That fucking sucks and I'm sorry. If you ever need to vent or rant to someone who's been a sole caretaker for a submariner that was the person they loved most in the world I got your friggin back, yo.
This is fucking cockandballs.
Honestly, he's handling the chemo like a damn champ. The fact that we cannot get a fucking appointment for his soft tissue injury in his hip to get looked at and a referral to physical therapy is the worst. The transfer from a Navy to Air Force installation was not smooth. It hasn't been easy for me because the Air Force is updating their healthcare system before the Navy is, and it's full of fucking glitches. They borked his ID card, too.
Early this morning, Mr. Suu fell trying to sit on the toilet.
His hip has been bothering him since before the cancer diagnosis, and the naval hospital chalked it off as a soft tissue injury and refused to do imaging.
He had a nice ambulance ride to the VA since he could not get out of bed, and we're here now. Admissions here were horrible, I showed up asking where he was, got a serious attitude, then got scolded for bringing an active duty sailor to the veterans hospital (there's no rules against this, btw.) So far his care has been good and he's not waiting long for procedures, but the front desk can go fuck themselves.
"Why did you bring him here? He's active, not a veteran. We have to manually register him now."
Oh boo fucking hoo, do your jobs. The ER across the street is Seventh Day Adventist, I'd rather take him to government butchers than a Christian cult.
So he's home now and they found MOAR CANCER in his hip bone. He has been referred to the sarcoma department at the cancer center and they're going to blast it into oblivion with radiation and he should get his mobility back.
I need a lawyer. Those mets were there in June when he first had hip pain and the navy hospital told him to just go home and ice it. Between that, and his boat doc telling him bleeding from the ass for 2 years was hemorrhoids and liver pain was ulcers and indigestion, I think the DoD owes me an F-35B.
I'd say they owe you a fleet of the damn things. Those can be replaced.
Two fucking years?
Quote from: Suu on October 26, 2022, 04:01:18 PM
So he's home now and they found MOAR CANCER in his hip bone. He has been referred to the sarcoma department at the cancer center and they're going to blast it into oblivion with radiation and he should get his mobility back.
I need a lawyer. Those mets were there in June when he first had hip pain and the navy hospital told him to just go home and ice it. Between that, and his boat doc telling him bleeding from the ass for 2 years was hemorrhoids and liver pain was ulcers and indigestion, I think the DoD owes me an F-35B.
Oddly enough, I have always had good result with Navy doctors.
But I imagine the boat doc is a physician's assistant, and they're universally crap in every service.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 26, 2022, 07:24:51 PM
I'd say they owe you a fleet of the damn things. Those can be replaced.
Two fucking years?
In light of being TMI, here's some fucking TMI for those playing the home game:
The occasional drop or 2 of fresh blood you get after a bad shit isn't a problem. Fresh blood. Hemorrhoids can cause fresh blood.
This wasn't fresh blood. This was thick, coagulated blood.
Friends: BLEEDING FROM THE ASS IS BAD. If he had a colonoscopy in 2019/2020, we wouldn't be in this position right now. They could have cut this fucker out.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 27, 2022, 02:55:41 AM
Oddly enough, I have always had good result with Navy doctors.
But I imagine the boat doc is a physician's assistant, and they're universally crap in every service.
I've had excellent Navy facility doctors, they're the ones that found my Hashimoto's Disease and Fibromyalgia because they didn't just tell me I was fat and lazy. Air Force doctors have also so far been great for me, but getting Jeff in to see his PCP has been impossible.
But Corpsmen? They're more like an LPN with some prescribing and diagnostic abilities while on a ship. In the hospitals, they're LPNs, and I've never had one succeed at an IV. I don't want them casting my husband's prolific ass blood as hemorrhoids because deployment was coming and "needs of the Navy". I don't want them telling my husband as he's doubling over in pain and turning yellow that "it's just an ulcer". Ulcers do not give you jaundice and are located on the other side of the abdomen. I think they are being deliberately trained to overlook severe disease cues for needs of the Navy. If Mr. Suu had had that colonoscopy in 2020 instead of 2022, he would have missed deployment and been immediately submarine disqualified.
And the fucking hospital staff told him that his hip pain was soft tissue and he just needed to rest and ice it. They didn't bother with a single X-ray or MRI that could have gotten him started on chemo faster had they seen the metastases.
I probably shouldn't be talking about all of this here. I'm sure they scrub the internet. So hear this, DoD: Fix your fucking healthcare system. Your goddamn materiel and contractors are not worth more than your troops, because Congress is also going to find out. Oh, and probably my local news station. Because in addition to his career being completely destroyed by their malpractice, my life is now upside down and my schoolwork is taking a hit.
My patriotism hasn't exactly been top tier lately, but this is icing on the fucking cake.
My mom is continuing her, "But you live so far awaaaaaay" bullshit after offering to come over and give Jeff whatever he wants. I have to drive over there to get a wheelchair today for him.
It's 45-50min away. Not the next state over.
I really need help this weekend giving me some time to go to my office and knuckle down on my own projects for school, so I told Jeff to call my mom and ask on his behalf, not mine. It's clear she likes him more than me anyway.
Mr back in the hospital yesterday for an endoscopy gone awry.
Brother-in-law hospitalized because blood pressure like Vesuvius.
I am tired.
Shit just keeps getting more fucked up.
This time it is/was c.Diff. (He managed to beat it without antibiotics.)
Fuck. My. Life.
I had to google c.Diff.
I wish I hadn't.
God damnit.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on November 23, 2022, 01:17:14 AM
I had to google c.Diff.
I wish I hadn't.
God damnit.
The amount of bleach, accelerated hydrogen peroxide, and hypochlorous acid I have had to unleash upon my house in the last few days has made me sick.
I developed stress shits (I already have IBS) and decided I was dying of C.Diff, so I did what any fucked up anxious twat would do and that was go right for the probiotics and kombucha.
You do NOT take probiotics and slam 2 cans of kombucha in the same day. What I did to my colon was on par with what Cramulus did with oranges, only hella faster. I legit was ready to go to the ER for a test despite Mr. Suu telling me I did it to myself, I called Jeff, who was legit shitting himself at the hospital, and asked him if it burned, and he was like, "No, that's acid. That's the kombucha you idiot." So I caught a moment of reason and then called my MD friend who, confirmed, yes, you do not just swallow mass quantities of Lactobacillus Acidophilus to murder any potential Clostridium Difficile in a bacterial war of attrition. I've been told to lay off the probiotics for several days until shit (literally) normalizes and I can stop fire pooping.
The odds of me getting c. Diff from Jeff are actually pretty low. I wash my hands CONSTANTLY as it is thanks to years of working in food and bev, and that is the number one way it's passed. All the bleach in the world will kill it on hard surfaces but if you don't wash your hands, it doesn't matter. I probably do have some in me, most people do, it's how gut bacteria works, but my biome is allegedly healthy. Well, as healthy as it can get considering the tea vinegar bomb I just unleashed on it.
He will probably be colonized with this bad bacteria for months, now. They didn't give him antibiotics because he created antibodies to the toxins and appears to have beaten it, which is better, it has less of a chance of reoccurrence. Still, 1 in 5 will get it again, so I'm gearing up for explosive shits round 2 next month.
Your gut microbiome is fucking terrifying. Do not, DO NOT, fuck with it if you can. One tip in the wrong direction and you get either fire shits and scorch your sphincter with too much Lactobacillius like me, or, you will just literally shit yourself into sepsis with c.Diff. There is no happy medium, only the former won't kill you.
Quote from: Suu (parody account) on November 24, 2022, 01:50:41 AM
Your gut microbiome is fucking terrifying. Do not, DO NOT, fuck with it if you can. One tip in the wrong direction and you get either fire shits and scorch your sphincter with too much Lactobacillius like me, or, you will just literally shit yourself into sepsis with c.Diff. There is no happy medium, only the former won't kill you.
This is why I feed mine gas station sushi. Toughens the little bastards up.
1 step forward, 2 steps back.
The current chemo cocktail is manufactured from pure hate and Satan's taint sweat. Not sure how well it's working yet, he just completed round 3, and has round 4 next week after Christmas. He goes in for imaging on the 3rd. The side effects are horrific, I don't think Cramulus shitting his pants eating all those fucking oranges could handle this. I don't think Dok could handle this after a plate of vindaloo. This is volatile, projectile, Geneva Convention-violating grade weaponized diarrhea. He's so bad about taking his meds it doesn't help, either. If I am not here to force Imodium and Enterade down his throat, he won't take it.
His hip is acting up again. He had a few weeks of full mobility and now he hurts again. My guess is that he overexerted himself, but since there is a pathological fracture in there, he needs to take it easy.
On top of it all, our cat has severe hyperthyroidism and is allergic to his medication, so we have to take the next steps and give him radioactive iodine at a specialist 45mins away. Okay, so, today he goes in for x-rays and his abdominal mass I found last year has grown a lot, so they took a fresh biopsy. I really fucking hope it's still just fat. PLEASE let it just be a weird ball of fat. I can't handle both him and Jeff having cancer right now. I'm on the verge of snapping as it is.
I'm in a constant state of dehydration to the point I'm achy and don't want to do anything coming off of the semester, which means I need to, you know, hydrate and do things. I have plenty of projects to work on, and executive dysfunction is fucking hell. When I ask for help from family, my mom just yells at me for being lazy.
This is awesome. I just want them both to die now so I can fucking disappear.
Jeff went into the hospital 2 days ago. He's not coming home for a while.
That's all.
He's home now.
Diagnoses:
-Neutropenia among other crashed blood counts. Needed 3 bags of B+.
-Dehydration and electrolyte imbalance because of hypermotility, was basically on banana bags the entire week.
-Malnutrition and extreme weight loss, because fuck listening to your wife when she said Campbell's chicken and rice isn't enough. He started hallucinating when his brain ran out of fats.
His hip is causing a lot of pain again, so we're moving forward with planning for the replacement. He's now on very high calorie Boost shakes on top of good bulking foods like rice, and now has at-home physical therapy starting today, PLUS prednisone to make him gain weight rapidly.
Campbell's chicken and rice is basically salty water with bits of crap floating here and there. :eek:
Good to hear he's on the shakes, anyway.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 30, 2022, 11:34:30 PM
Campbell's chicken and rice is basically salty water with bits of crap floating here and there. :eek:
Good to hear he's on the shakes, anyway.
It tastes like wanting to feel better as a child. I get it, but it's not nutrient dense. He consumed enough calories for the day at breakfast and lunch, not including snacks and dinner. I am no longer fucking around and he is no longer allowed to complain.
Quote from: Suu (parody account) on December 31, 2022, 04:32:19 AM
It tastes like wanting to feel better as a child.
Ah, yeah. For me that would be metallic Hawaiian Punch from a can. It's all "I don't have to go to school and Mom will fetch me anything I need." It's just sugar water and dye and fake flavoring. Quite possibly worse than Campbell's. But if they still put it in cans I'd probably keep some on hand for sick days.
QuoteI get it, but it's not nutrient dense. He consumed enough calories for the day at breakfast and lunch, not including snacks and dinner. I am no longer fucking around and he is no longer allowed to complain.
It sounds like nobody's at "Let him do what he wants." So there's that. It's not much but it's something.
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 31, 2022, 02:23:09 PM
Quote from: Suu (parody account) on December 31, 2022, 04:32:19 AM
It tastes like wanting to feel better as a child.
Ah, yeah. For me that would be metallic Hawaiian Punch from a can. It's all "I don't have to go to school and Mom will fetch me anything I need." It's just sugar water and dye and fake flavoring. Quite possibly worse than Campbell's. But if they still put it in cans I'd probably keep some on hand for sick days.
QuoteI get it, but it's not nutrient dense. He consumed enough calories for the day at breakfast and lunch, not including snacks and dinner. I am no longer fucking around and he is no longer allowed to complain.
It sounds like nobody's at "Let him do what he wants." So there's that. It's not much but it's something.
Honestly I seriously thought he was starting to give up this go. When he told me he was starting to see things and that he no longer had a center or bearings of "up" and "down", I was fucking terrified it was in his brain. This type of cancer very rarely metastasizes to the brain but it would be my overachieving husband to pull it off. All scans were clear, and nutrition was like, 'TOLD YOU SO'. I wasn't read the riot act or anything, but now he's learning the importance of calories. I make sure he has his daily intake by lunch, anything after that is to gain weight.
This chemo is a fucking cruel beast, though, so while he got to skip this round, he still needs more. That was only round 3 of this new line. Round 3. Out of a potential 12. He should have finished his first line by now but it stopped working. This one is working, it's just far, far more toxic.
This is going to be a fucking ride.
Damn, that must have been terrifying. Liv once messed up her meds & just figuring that out over a couple of days was scary. Very glad he's doing better.
Quote from: Telarus on January 03, 2023, 04:49:20 AM
Damn, that must have been terrifying. Liv once messed up her meds & just figuring that out over a couple of days was scary. Very glad he's doing better.
Malnutrition is a hell of a drug. 0/10 do not recommend.
Stress actually made me fuck up my meds also. I started taking cyclobenzaprine instead of levothyroxine because the pills at my dosage look the same. Didn't understand why I was so tired for a week.
I finally have a doctor's appointment for myself tomorrow. I still very much need a dentist's appointment. My thyroid is enlarged from Hashimotos, I started vomiting pure acid again, and my period has almost stopped. Over/under on her blaming it on my weight and not my stress levels.
Mr. Suu's doctor's don't know what to do about how he hurt his hip. It has bone mets, but the pain appears to be muscular. He tried to get out of PT today and both his PT and myself laughed until HE cried.
My cat had radioactive iodine treatment and just got home after 2 days at the medspa where he was an asshole to the staff. He is now capable of contaminating me with 1mSv over the next week until the I-131 decays to half life. So things have gotten interesting. If I accidentally ingest some of his shed iodine, it can make my thyroid worse. Naturally, Mr. Suu is in such condition as he cannot scoop litter or feed Walking Chernobyl, so it's all me. All I really have to do is not let him sit on my lap for too long and wash my hands with dial, but I really wish I had a Geiger Counter right now.