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Topics - hooplala

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Apple Talk / My New Hero
« on: January 17, 2014, 03:34:42 pm »
80 year old man hasn't bathed in 60 years... eats only rotten porcupine meat, drinks only water from a rusty can.  He smokes shit.  He doesn't cut his hair, he BURNS it.

I'm not making this up.

Now, mind you, I don't know how reliable "Oddity Central" is as a source, and my intuition suggest 'not very'... but I can't bear to dig any deeper.  I might find out it's not true.

Apple Talk / The Gift That Keeps On Giving
« on: January 16, 2014, 02:49:12 pm »
Do you despise someone greatly?  Do you wish to cause them great discomfort, and possibly some pain?

Not sure how to do it without being arrested?  Try Haribo Gummy Candy.

You're welcome.

Apple Talk / The Sorry State of Today's Rebels
« on: January 10, 2014, 02:37:09 pm »
“When I was young there were beatniks. Hippies. Punks. Gangsters. Now you’re a hacktivist. Which I would probably be if I was 20. Shuttin’ down MasterCard. But there’s no look to that lifestyle! Besides just wearing a bad outfit with bad posture. Has WikiLeaks caused a look? No! I’m mad about that. If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.”  -John Waters

Apple Talk / Toilet Teeth
« on: January 08, 2014, 11:40:06 pm »
"There's certain parts about being a man that one just has to experience... so, like my father before me, you're going to watch your dad... get pathetically drunk."

I wish my father had done this… a ritualistic invitation to view him as a fellow human being with faults, rather than my idealized image of “father” would have been less traumatic than discovering the same person, by mistake, as he vomited his false teeth down the toilet on New Years Day morning.

Apple Talk / Where You Lacking Nightmare Fuel??
« on: January 07, 2014, 09:42:38 pm »

Apple Talk / Dian Fossey
« on: January 07, 2014, 05:15:33 pm »
I recall someone recently saying something about Diane Fossey having done more harm than good... I don't know a lot about her, except she apparently looked a lot like Ellen Ripley... can someone point me toward the bad stuff?

High Weirdness / Cicada 3301
« on: December 19, 2013, 04:55:15 pm »
I looked around and didn't see a thread for this, which just came to my attention, so I thought I would bring it up here.

Cicada 3301 is a name given to a set of complex Internet puzzles. The first Internet puzzle started on January 5, 2012 and ran for approximately one month. A second round began exactly one year later on January 5, 2013, and is possibly still ongoing. The stated intent was to recruit "intelligent individuals" by presenting a series of puzzles which were to be solved, each in order, to find the next. The puzzles focused heavily on data security, cryptography, and steganography.

Some think its CIA, or NSA... others just think its a mindfuck.

So... I'm wondering what y'all make of this, and in addition I'm wondering how hard it might be for US to put something like this together. I know we have lots of computery peoples here.

Apple Talk / Relax Kiddies, Santa Is White. And, So Was Jesus
« on: December 12, 2013, 08:07:17 pm »
So says Megyn Kelly from Fox News... because you know, there were so many honkies hanging out in the Middle East 2000 years ago...

Apple Talk / I'm Waiting For the Delivery Man
« on: December 12, 2013, 06:26:44 pm »
Has everyone heard about Macaulay Culkin's pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band?

My wife told me about this first, but initially she only knew about the name.  I recall saying: "I wish all their songs were about pizza too."

Turns out, they are!

Apple Talk / This thread is BAD. You know, like, baaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaad.
« on: December 02, 2013, 09:00:17 pm »

Please check your privilege.

Apple Talk / Blood Under Black Light
« on: November 29, 2013, 09:56:12 pm »
Does anyone know what fresh human blood looks like under black light?

Apple Talk / Objectivists Asking For $
« on: November 28, 2013, 12:01:09 am »
So, full disclosure up front... I like Penn Jillette.  And, I've read one novel of Ayn Rand's I enjoyed.

However, having said that, I think Ayn was a nutjob, and Objectivism is whack.  I could expand on that thought, but I doubt that's very necessary in these parts.

So, here's the thing:  Penn Jillette self identifies as an Objectivist, and yet is asking for money on to pay for a horror film he wants to make.  Let's just put aside the fact that Penn is yet another celebrity asking your for money to fund their pet project, despite the fact that he likely swims in his squillions of dollars nightly, à la Scrooge McDuck.  Let's just put that aside for the moment.

Instead, let's revel in an Objectivist asking for fucking money.  Did he read Atlas Shrugged?  I didn't, I had to put it down about a third of the way through, because it was drying my eyeballs out.  But, in that third, I got the point.  In fact, I got the point in the first chapter, it's not exactly a subtle book for those who plan to never read it.  The crux is: MOOCHERS ARE BAD.

Penn seems to have missed, oh I don't know... the POINT of his chosen world view.

Perhaps I'm being ungenerous... would anyone care to counter my point?

Rex Bologna
The Handsome Devil of Discordia

Or Kill Me / I Am A Nihilist
« on: November 27, 2013, 04:11:51 pm »
I Am a Nihilist, and I'm Ok With That


How I Learned to Stop Worrying, and Love the Lack of Intrinsic Meaning or Value in Life

"Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."  -Walter Sobchak

My name is Rex Bologna, and I am an existential nihilist.

[crowd: "Hi Rex."]

I first suspected I was a nihilist in my mid-teens, though I probably would have denied it at that time.  I was only just coming to terms with accepting that I didn't think it was likely that gods existed, I didn't need the added burden of grappling with the meaning, or lack thereof, of life.  But, once you toss the idea of an omniscient creator out of the mix, the idea that the universe is devoid of objective meaning pops up as a reasonable option fair quickly. 

Science classes offered interesting possibilities which might answer such a question... procreation, for instance.  It occurred to me that observation of nature seemed to indicate that the continued presence of your DNA in the future was a viable meaning of life for most creatures, but to what end?  Replication for the sake of replication seemed as devoid of meaning as the nihilism which loomed behind it.  And then, to further the angst, as I learned more about how life began on this mudball, the arbitrary randomness of the process filled me with dread.  And so, I did what any teen would do: I avoided the question altogether.

But, eventually, teenage high school science experiments gave way to experiments of a more psychedelic nature.  However, a deeply introspective state, with life's usual filters taken away, is not the best place to hide from questions of an existential nature.  The horrible gaping cold blackness of nothing seemed to surround me.  Life was without meaning, we were the end result of blind mistakes, and when we fucked it all up it would matter to nobody.  I could scream, but my voice would be lost in the void.

These conclusions followed me into the crashed sober state which inevitably follows.  A period of mourning set in, where I missed the innocence of my youthful naivety, when I could believe things happened for a reason, even if I didn't agree with them.  A scornful misanthropy replaced my formerly playful outlook, as so many people around me seemed to parrot empty useless phrases like "everything happens for a reason", or spoke of karma, and cosmic justice.  Those sad deluded fools stared into the inky nothingness with their rose-tinted glasses on, the joke would be on them in the end.

But, I eventually stumbled upon the biggest joke of all, which was a silly religion, or maybe a philosophy, or maybe just a joke... called Discordianism.  This... whatever it was... seemed to confirm my nihilism, but at the same time described it in a manner which could be amusing... dare I say, even fun?  Suddenly the lack of meaning in the universe seemed not only freeing, but hugely hilarious.  And the meaning others found in the universe was even funnier, but now not in a mean-spirited manner, but instead with an awed glee.  To me humanity was still a strange mistake, but also a fantastic mistake.  The argument made by theists about the wind blowing scrap metal and turning it into a roller coaster suddenly made perfect sense to me, but not in the way they likely intended.  Yes, it was a perfect analogy for humanity.  Not because it implied a creator, but because it was completely batshit insane... which we clearly are.

I am Rex Bologna, the Handsome Devil of Discordia, and I believe life has no intrinsic meaning. 

And, I am ok with that.

Apple Talk / Never Ask Someone's Name In MY Town
« on: November 27, 2013, 04:07:07 am »
...unless you're ready for a rambling stream of consciousness monologue worthy of the end of a RAW novel.

And yes, he's likely mentally I'll, but I hope when I finally go around the bend some day, I go like this guy.

Apple Talk / Mellowing Sadly
« on: November 20, 2013, 04:55:55 pm »
I just read that when Reservoir Dogs was released, Wes Craven walked out during the "Stuck In The Middle With You" scene.  Wes Craven.

WES CRAVEN.  The man who made Last House on the Left, couldn't take an offscreen ear being cut off to a Stealers Wheel song.

What the fuck happens to people when they grow old?

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