Eventually she cries herself out. She asks me if Alice did anything embarassing, or hurt me, or made any moves on me. I reassure her that all Alice did was go through her phone and then break down on the pillow. We get to talking about names. I find out that while she lets everyone call her Alexis, she'd really prefer for people to call he Alex. "Alexis" was what her parents called her, so she doesn't like that name. She just didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Alice regains control, and expands on her earlier comments about Alex's inadequecy. She has nothing but contempt for Alex, most especially her lack of assertiveness. I start arguing with her that Alex is neither weak nor stupid, but that seems unproductive so I suggest playing a board game. She agrees, and I get out a game called Tsuro, the only game two-player game I have other than chess. Alex and I had been playing it a lot over the past couple of weeks. The only thing was that her colorblindess (did I mention she was colorblind? Alex is colorblind.) made it hard for her to tell some of the pieces apart. She seemed to have trouble with the dull blue, red, and gray in particular. That didn't match any of my other colorblind friends, but I'm not an opthamologist.
Me: "I still don't understand how your colorblindess works, so pick out two pieces you can tell apart."
Alice: "Oh, I'm not colorblind."
Me: "What?"
Alice: "I'm not colorblind. Only Alex is."
Me: "No way."
Alice, going through the eight Tsuro pieces: "Brown, yellow, blue, red, gray, black, green, white. There."
Me: "Holy shit, you're not colorblind."
We play a couple games of Tsuro (it goes fast) and then move on to chess. Alice says she's never played chess before, so I should go easy on her. I start explaining how all the pieces move, but she gets board and tells me to just start the game already. So I set up the board, with myself playing white and her black, and move e4. She moves e5 with pretty much no hesitation. Nf3 is answered by Nc6. We get through all four knights and bishops entering play in a perfectly ordinary book opening. So yeah, she's played chess before, if differently than Alex does. Alex spends a lot of time worrying and second-guessing moves she's thinking about; Alice plays smoothly and is overall more aggressive, although I don't think she's actually any better at the game. The game develops as it normally would when I play Alex, which is to say I start winning pretty quickly. I shove a rook, a knight, and my queen behind her overdeveloped pawn line. Alice takes a long time to move, like she's confused or having a hard time concentrating. She moves a pawn completely unrelated to the crisis behind her lines - a bizarrely bad and pointless move - so I fork and capture her queen.
"Aah!" Alice exclaims. "That bitch messed me up! She made me lose my queen!"
Me: "I don't think it works like that. You're just trying to blame Alex for all of your problems so you don't have to admit that 'stupid' Alex is just as good at chess as you are."
Alice: "Fuck you human! She really did!"
We finish the game (I win). Alice slumps backwards for a second, and then Alex opens her eyes, smiles, and says: "Hah! I made her lose her queen! Payback's a bitch!" She goes on to explain that during the periods where her DID was really bad, Alice would interrupt and throw every single chess game (she played a lot online.) This was the first time she'd gotten to do it back to Alice and she was very proud of herself.
Me: "Before we started, Alice said that she had never played before."
Alex: "Yeah, she lies like that. Probably trying to get you to go easy on her so she could win."
Me: "She also claimed that she wasn't colorblind."
Alex: "She thinks she isn't allergic to cinnamon either. Every time she eats some, she leaves me to deal with the allergic reaction."
Me: "Okay, but -- she went through all the pieces and told me their colors."
Alex: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah."
Alex: "No way."
Me: "So -- this has been bothering me for a while -- but what type of colorblindness do you have? I've never heard of someone being red-blue colorblind."
Alex: "I don't know. I've never been officially diagnosed."
Most colorblindness is a result of one of the three types of color vision cells is absent or mutated. The mutations that break the red and green color vision cells (protanopia / protanomaly, deuteranopia / deuteranomaly) are on the X chromasome, which is why they're so much more common in men. The blue color cone is less commonly affected (tritanopia / tritonomaly), but it's equally common in males and females. That last type seemed to be closest what Alex has, but not quite right. I splurged when I bought my monitor and got one that displays colors well, so I find a tritanopia color vision test online. Alex takes it, and struggles really hard looking for shapes the colored dots. After adjusting for guesses she got was able to find the shape about 65% of the time, which is enough for the test to suggest she should see a real doctor. The next time Alice was out that night, I had her take the same test, only with all three color blindness types thrown in for good measure. Alice flies through the test, getting 100% in all three categories. For good measure I have Alex take the test again, also in all three categories, and she gets similar adjusted scores of 60-70% across all three categories -- highly irregular. You should either have regular color vision or fall into one of the three categories, not be moderately bad across all three.
I'm pretty sure we'll get to the actual doctor next time.
Alice regains control, and expands on her earlier comments about Alex's inadequecy. She has nothing but contempt for Alex, most especially her lack of assertiveness. I start arguing with her that Alex is neither weak nor stupid, but that seems unproductive so I suggest playing a board game. She agrees, and I get out a game called Tsuro, the only game two-player game I have other than chess. Alex and I had been playing it a lot over the past couple of weeks. The only thing was that her colorblindess (did I mention she was colorblind? Alex is colorblind.) made it hard for her to tell some of the pieces apart. She seemed to have trouble with the dull blue, red, and gray in particular. That didn't match any of my other colorblind friends, but I'm not an opthamologist.
Me: "I still don't understand how your colorblindess works, so pick out two pieces you can tell apart."
Alice: "Oh, I'm not colorblind."
Me: "What?"
Alice: "I'm not colorblind. Only Alex is."
Me: "No way."
Alice, going through the eight Tsuro pieces: "Brown, yellow, blue, red, gray, black, green, white. There."
Me: "Holy shit, you're not colorblind."
We play a couple games of Tsuro (it goes fast) and then move on to chess. Alice says she's never played chess before, so I should go easy on her. I start explaining how all the pieces move, but she gets board and tells me to just start the game already. So I set up the board, with myself playing white and her black, and move e4. She moves e5 with pretty much no hesitation. Nf3 is answered by Nc6. We get through all four knights and bishops entering play in a perfectly ordinary book opening. So yeah, she's played chess before, if differently than Alex does. Alex spends a lot of time worrying and second-guessing moves she's thinking about; Alice plays smoothly and is overall more aggressive, although I don't think she's actually any better at the game. The game develops as it normally would when I play Alex, which is to say I start winning pretty quickly. I shove a rook, a knight, and my queen behind her overdeveloped pawn line. Alice takes a long time to move, like she's confused or having a hard time concentrating. She moves a pawn completely unrelated to the crisis behind her lines - a bizarrely bad and pointless move - so I fork and capture her queen.
"Aah!" Alice exclaims. "That bitch messed me up! She made me lose my queen!"
Me: "I don't think it works like that. You're just trying to blame Alex for all of your problems so you don't have to admit that 'stupid' Alex is just as good at chess as you are."
Alice: "Fuck you human! She really did!"
We finish the game (I win). Alice slumps backwards for a second, and then Alex opens her eyes, smiles, and says: "Hah! I made her lose her queen! Payback's a bitch!" She goes on to explain that during the periods where her DID was really bad, Alice would interrupt and throw every single chess game (she played a lot online.) This was the first time she'd gotten to do it back to Alice and she was very proud of herself.
Me: "Before we started, Alice said that she had never played before."
Alex: "Yeah, she lies like that. Probably trying to get you to go easy on her so she could win."
Me: "She also claimed that she wasn't colorblind."
Alex: "She thinks she isn't allergic to cinnamon either. Every time she eats some, she leaves me to deal with the allergic reaction."
Me: "Okay, but -- she went through all the pieces and told me their colors."
Alex: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah."
Alex: "No way."
Me: "So -- this has been bothering me for a while -- but what type of colorblindness do you have? I've never heard of someone being red-blue colorblind."
Alex: "I don't know. I've never been officially diagnosed."
Most colorblindness is a result of one of the three types of color vision cells is absent or mutated. The mutations that break the red and green color vision cells (protanopia / protanomaly, deuteranopia / deuteranomaly) are on the X chromasome, which is why they're so much more common in men. The blue color cone is less commonly affected (tritanopia / tritonomaly), but it's equally common in males and females. That last type seemed to be closest what Alex has, but not quite right. I splurged when I bought my monitor and got one that displays colors well, so I find a tritanopia color vision test online. Alex takes it, and struggles really hard looking for shapes the colored dots. After adjusting for guesses she got was able to find the shape about 65% of the time, which is enough for the test to suggest she should see a real doctor. The next time Alice was out that night, I had her take the same test, only with all three color blindness types thrown in for good measure. Alice flies through the test, getting 100% in all three categories. For good measure I have Alex take the test again, also in all three categories, and she gets similar adjusted scores of 60-70% across all three categories -- highly irregular. You should either have regular color vision or fall into one of the three categories, not be moderately bad across all three.
I'm pretty sure we'll get to the actual doctor next time.