Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Freeky on May 31, 2013, 03:43:16 AM

Title: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: Freeky on May 31, 2013, 03:43:16 AM
While I do not want a straight up recipe (since I'll be in a competition), I would like to ask if you have any tips for cooking goddamn amazing chili.  Do you have?

Also other people too, I don't mean to be dissing.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 31, 2013, 03:47:02 AM
Cheap beer.

Depending on the size of the batch, I use a can or two of cheap yellow lager (note: this is the ONLY acceptable use for PBR) to deglaze the pan after the meat is browned.

Specifically, I use that for beef chili. I probably wouldn't use it for pork chili as I usually make chili verde with pork and beer doesn't lend itself to that as well.

Also I prefer my chili powder to be made from 100% ground new mexican chilies.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 31, 2013, 03:48:33 AM
oh, and whole metric fucktons of fire-roasted anaheims and poblanos. You can add heat with other peppers, but the flavor from those is killer.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on May 31, 2013, 03:50:00 AM
I shall use beer if I use beef, then.  Thanks! :D



I may end up needing to eat this for a while, so I'll probably go milder than that.  My mouf, it is de-acclimated to spicy.  :(
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: LMNO on May 31, 2013, 05:59:22 PM
Take as much time as possible to develop your savory items. I've been told that to get the full effect of sweated onions, they need to be cooked slowly for at least 15-20 minutes. ECH may be able to clarify or debunk that. But the flavor base is essential. Also, you should look into the bean/no-bean controversy.

Also, try to get as much Malliard reaction as you can when searing the meat. All the typical techniques apply: don't crowd the pan, wait before the first flip/stir, etc.

Finally, TASTE AS YOU GO. This is my biggest sin, and I have to keep reminding myself to do this.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 31, 2013, 06:02:41 PM
My chili secret weapon is jalapenos. They have a very distinctive pepper flavor without adding much heat, which is perfect because I have four picky children.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on May 31, 2013, 07:22:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 31, 2013, 05:59:22 PM
I've been told that to get the full effect of sweated onions

  :? 

QuoteAlso, try to get as much Malliard reaction as you can when searing the meat.

:? :? :?


Everything else sounds pretty good, though, and confirmed a lot of what I was already thinking.

Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 31, 2013, 09:02:36 PM
The maillard reaction is pretty much what makes cooked food taste good. It's when the natural sugars caramelize leaving that nicely browned outer surface. In other words, whatever kind of meat you decide to use you need to brown it separately before you add it to the pot with everything else.

As for the sweated onions, I suspect that part is a joke people like me play on foodies. The sugars in the onion either caramelize or they don't, and then once they do they either burn or they don't. Whether it happens in 10 minutes or 20 doesn't make much difference, as long as you don't burn them.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2013, 10:08:49 PM
I'm a fan of bean chili, controversy be damned!  And if you do bean chili, use fresh beans.  Seriously, canned beans can GTFO.

This also might be a sin, but the best chili I've made has been by dry rubbing turkey thighs and slow cooking them.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
Although I myself usually enjoy more traditional chilis, I have trouble with the idea that something that's basically glorified meat slop is something to get all purist about.

No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Cain on May 31, 2013, 11:16:28 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.

(http://i.imgur.com/J2OzxGs.jpg)

I just have no words....who is responsible for this atrocity?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on May 31, 2013, 11:20:01 PM
Pineapples in chilli sounds... kinda gross.


It's tasty on pizza though.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Cain on May 31, 2013, 11:55:06 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on May 31, 2013, 11:20:01 PM
It's tasty on pizza though.

(http://i.imgur.com/1aYx17w.jpg)
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2013, 03:12:19 AM
Have you tried quinoa chili?

Now that sounds tasty.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2013, 03:28:12 AM
I won't say anything else about chili, but I will ask you this, Freeky:

How well do you know your audience in the competition?  Because the important thing here isn't your adherence to chili standards - it's theirs.  Will THEY be chili purists?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 01, 2013, 03:33:25 AM
I have never known anyone to be on either side of this weird bean/no bean debate.  I personally don't like beans, and I have to mush them into a paste if it's in chili if I want to eat.

Also, I don't know who's going to be judging.  People get to pay $4 and they're judges.  Also, gamers.

The quinoa thing made me lol.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Don Coyote on June 01, 2013, 04:46:57 AM
Chili without beans in an unholy abomination, and you should be feel terrible for not liking that most holy of foods. :argh!:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 01, 2013, 11:41:52 AM
Quote from: Cain on May 31, 2013, 11:16:28 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.

(http://i.imgur.com/J2OzxGs.jpg)

I just have no words....who is responsible for this atrocity?

A Tex-Mex/Chinese buffet restaurant in El Paso, Texas. It's hands-down the worst food I've ever eaten and I've had the good fortune to have been forced to eat there twice, on occasions years apart from each other.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 01, 2013, 11:44:32 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on June 01, 2013, 04:46:57 AM
Chili without beans in an unholy abomination, and you should be feel terrible for not liking that most holy of foods. :argh!:

If I were to get all purist about glorified meat slop, I'd point out that it doesn't have beans.

I like them in mine, depending on the chili. Totally OK in chili colorado. Beans in my chili verde, though? I will kick you BEHIND the cock.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: EK WAFFLR on June 01, 2013, 01:27:19 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 31, 2013, 11:55:06 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on May 31, 2013, 11:20:01 PM
It's tasty on pizza though.

(http://i.imgur.com/1aYx17w.jpg)

this.
pineapples aren't food. They're hats.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 01, 2013, 06:10:09 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
Although I myself usually enjoy more traditional chilis, I have trouble with the idea that something that's basically glorified meat slop is something to get all purist about.

No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.

Pineapples in chili?

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwoelufWVm1qmo84go1_500.jpg)

Who would DO that? Why?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 01, 2013, 06:11:11 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2013, 03:12:19 AM
Have you tried quinoa chili?

Now that sounds tasty.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 01, 2013, 06:12:22 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 01, 2013, 11:41:52 AM

A Tex-Mex/Chinese buffet restaurant in El Paso, Texas. It's hands-down the worst food I've ever eaten and I've had the good fortune to have been forced to eat there twice, on occasions years apart from each other.

Ummmmm

NONE of those words are OK together.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 01, 2013, 06:35:24 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 01, 2013, 06:12:22 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 01, 2013, 11:41:52 AM

A Tex-Mex/Chinese buffet restaurant in El Paso, Texas. It's hands-down the worst food I've ever eaten and I've had the good fortune to have been forced to eat there twice, on occasions years apart from each other.

Ummmmm

NONE of those words are OK together.

No.  No they are not.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 01, 2013, 06:36:47 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 01, 2013, 11:44:32 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on June 01, 2013, 04:46:57 AM
Chili without beans in an unholy abomination, and you should be feel terrible for not liking that most holy of foods. :argh!:

If I were to get all purist about glorified meat slop, I'd point out that it doesn't have beans.

I like them in mine, depending on the chili. Totally OK in chili colorado. Beans in my chili verde, though? I will kick you BEHIND the cock.

:lulz:  A winning argument if I ever heard one.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on June 01, 2013, 07:13:52 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 31, 2013, 11:16:28 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.

(http://i.imgur.com/J2OzxGs.jpg)

I just have no words....who is responsible for this atrocity?

This.

It's meat slop, not some avante-garde epicurian production. The lore is that the best chili is made from jackrabbit or a young spike buck. IOW, it was probably developed as a method of making lean, but funky and gamey meat more palatable with seasonings. Chili powder. Comino. Onions. Peppers. I'm told tomatoes aren't even traditional.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Don Coyote on June 01, 2013, 08:11:00 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 01, 2013, 06:10:09 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on May 31, 2013, 10:16:10 PM
Although I myself usually enjoy more traditional chilis, I have trouble with the idea that something that's basically glorified meat slop is something to get all purist about.

No pineapples, though. Ever. I will choke someone to death with a whisk if I ever see pineapples in chili again.

Pineapples in chili?

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwoelufWVm1qmo84go1_500.jpg)

Who would DO that? Why?

I am now going to do this.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: LMNO on June 01, 2013, 09:03:02 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 01, 2013, 06:36:47 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 01, 2013, 11:44:32 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on June 01, 2013, 04:46:57 AM
Chili without beans in an unholy abomination, and you should be feel terrible for not liking that most holy of foods. :argh!:

If I were to get all purist about glorified meat slop, I'd point out that it doesn't have beans.

I like them in mine, depending on the chili. Totally OK in chili colorado. Beans in my chili verde, though? I will kick you BEHIND the cock.

:lulz:  A winning argument if I ever heard one.

I just snarfed my beet vodka cocktail.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 01, 2013, 09:42:15 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 01, 2013, 09:03:02 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 01, 2013, 06:36:47 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 01, 2013, 11:44:32 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on June 01, 2013, 04:46:57 AM
Chili without beans in an unholy abomination, and you should be feel terrible for not liking that most holy of foods. :argh!:

If I were to get all purist about glorified meat slop, I'd point out that it doesn't have beans.

I like them in mine, depending on the chili. Totally OK in chili colorado. Beans in my chili verde, though? I will kick you BEHIND the cock.

:lulz:  A winning argument if I ever heard one.

I just snarfed my beet vodka cocktail.

(http://dougernst.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/snarf.jpg)
?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: LMNO on June 02, 2013, 05:55:54 AM
How the hell do you know about Thundercats?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Don Coyote on June 02, 2013, 05:58:38 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 02, 2013, 05:55:54 AM
How the hell do you know about Thundercats?
they brought it back.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: LMNO on June 02, 2013, 06:09:13 AM
Is is wrong to say that, even back then, I would totally get it on with both Cheetara AND Panthro?
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Don Coyote on June 02, 2013, 06:12:49 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 02, 2013, 06:09:13 AM
Is is wrong to say that, even back then, I would totally get it on with both Cheetara AND Panthro?

Not in the slightest.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: LMNO on June 02, 2013, 06:13:50 AM
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 02, 2013, 08:10:05 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 02, 2013, 05:55:54 AM
How the hell do you know about Thundercats?

Thundercats was on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, during the period of time after we'd get home from church.  Or maybe it was on early mornings before school on Cartoon Network, I can't really remember which it was.  Pretty sure it was Sundays/Nick.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Don Coyote on June 02, 2013, 08:22:29 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 02, 2013, 08:10:05 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 02, 2013, 05:55:54 AM
How the hell do you know about Thundercats?

Thundercats was on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, during the period of time after we'd get home from church.  Or maybe it was on early mornings before school on Cartoon Network, I can't really remember which it was.  Pretty sure it was Sundays/Nick.

For some reason that makes me feel old.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 02, 2013, 08:35:25 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on June 02, 2013, 08:22:29 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 02, 2013, 08:10:05 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 02, 2013, 05:55:54 AM
How the hell do you know about Thundercats?

Thundercats was on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, during the period of time after we'd get home from church.  Or maybe it was on early mornings before school on Cartoon Network, I can't really remember which it was.  Pretty sure it was Sundays/Nick.

For some reason that makes me feel old.

Me too, a bit.  And then I remember that mid twenties isn't old (and, for that matter, neither are 30s or 40s).
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 02, 2013, 04:20:18 PM
Yeah, shit starts to deteriorate in the 40's. It isn't old yet, but it's got a fair foreshadowing of old.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 02, 2013, 06:13:26 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 02, 2013, 04:20:18 PM
Yeah, shit starts to deteriorate in the 40's. It isn't old yet, but it's got a fair foreshadowing of old.

-nod-  That's understandable, that oldness doesn't happen overnight.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Richter on June 04, 2013, 01:46:45 PM
May be a bit johnny come lately, but cinamonwhiskey and a bit of honey for the chili.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 04, 2013, 06:23:49 PM
Ohhh, that sounds good!
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 09, 2013, 12:15:21 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2013, 01:46:45 PM
May be a bit johnny come lately, but cinamonwhiskey and a bit of honey for the chili.

SPEAKING OF WORDS THAT DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER!

:crankey:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2013, 02:50:52 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 09, 2013, 12:15:21 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2013, 01:46:45 PM
May be a bit johnny come lately, but cinamonwhiskey and a bit of honey for the chili.

SPEAKING OF WORDS THAT DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER!

:crankey:

:lulz: Yeah, my eyes just sort of refused to see that.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: EK WAFFLR on June 13, 2013, 01:15:35 PM
Fireball Cinnamon Whisky is actually fantastic!
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 13, 2013, 04:46:44 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on June 13, 2013, 01:15:35 PM
Fireball Cinnamon Whisky is actually fantastic!

It's horrifyingly delicious.

BUT NOT IN CHILI.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: EK WAFFLR on June 13, 2013, 06:55:14 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 13, 2013, 04:46:44 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on June 13, 2013, 01:15:35 PM
Fireball Cinnamon Whisky is actually fantastic!

It's horrifyingly delicious.

BUT NOT IN CHILI.

I think my brain refused to read the part where it was supposed to go in the chili. WTF!
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 14, 2013, 01:37:21 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 13, 2013, 04:46:44 PM
Quote from: Waffles, Viking Princess of Northern Belgium on June 13, 2013, 01:15:35 PM
Fireball Cinnamon Whisky is actually fantastic!

It's horrifying

FTFY.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 14, 2013, 02:58:57 AM
 :lulz:

About time to go through and see what's awesome, to go grocery shopping tonight or tomorrow and cook this bitch up.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Richter on June 14, 2013, 12:35:17 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 09, 2013, 12:15:21 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2013, 01:46:45 PM
May be a bit johnny come lately, but cinamonwhiskey and a bit of honey for the chili.

SPEAKING OF WORDS THAT DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER!

:crankey:

True - more accessibl3 for those who dont have homemade krupnik aged for 3 years though.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 14, 2013, 03:19:08 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 14, 2013, 12:35:17 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 09, 2013, 12:15:21 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2013, 01:46:45 PM
May be a bit johnny come lately, but cinamonwhiskey and a bit of honey for the chili.

SPEAKING OF WORDS THAT DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER!

:crankey:

True - more accessibl3 for those who dont have homemade krupnik aged for 3 years though.

I don't fucking care how long some Pole has kept it in  his closet, it still doesn't fucking go in chili. That's disgusting.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 14, 2013, 08:34:24 PM
Cinnamon is just kind of disgusting in general, except in cookies and pastries.

Allspice, however...that's one of my secret weapons.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 14, 2013, 08:39:21 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 14, 2013, 08:34:24 PM
Cinnamon is just kind of disgusting in general, except in cookies and pastries.

Allspice, however...that's one of my secret weapons.

I like allspice

and mace.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2013, 07:53:47 AM
Mace is good.  It adds spicy without flavor, if you put enough in.  I didn't realize (though I should have) that it's possible the seasoning comes from the same thing as the defensive spray.


So!  I have begun batch one of the chili.  Ingredient list:

1 1/2 lbs ground beef
2 1/2 lbs cubed stew beef
2 red onions, cut how I always do them
jarred garlic, some
ancho chile pepper (ground), some
adobo seasoning, some
worsterwhatever, some
paprika, some
mace, some
liquid smoke, some
ground cumin, both regual and smoked, some
1 1/2 jalapenos
1 anaheim
2 serranos
one can of Caguama, it's a mexican beer
lemon juice, some
salt
black pepper
one cane of corn
begin measuring at 1/2 cup of corn flour

Batch two is the same, except instead of red onions, it will have sweet onions.

Batch one isn't even done yet, but here's the basic rundown.

Seed and slice peppers, stick them in a glass container with some liquid smoke, bake (roast?) in oven at 350.  Don't forget to not have vinegar on hand, so when you carefully avoid touching your inner eye, it'll just get spread all over by the tears created during then next step...

...Slice the onions.  Tear up.  Be in horrible pain.

Toast some of your ground spices in a pan.  Put them in a bowl to the side.  Pour some mystery oil into the pan, salt and black pepper half of your cubed beef, dump it in.  Leave it a bit, adding worsterwhatever and some of the spice mix, then flip it over.  Fish meat chunks out and put into big pot.  Do the same with the other half, deglazing as needed with the beer.  Whatever is in the pan this time, dump it all in the pot, all of it.  Do your onions in two batches, at least.  Definitely not in one big batch.  Throw in some sundried tomatoes, because that looked good at the store, and you don't see why not.  More spices.  More beer, but not until they're almost done.  Dump it all in the pot.  Cook ground beef in the same manner as cubed beef, but without the oil.  Dump all that in the pot.  Cover with water.  Add roasted peppers. Boil.

At this point, I'm heading into WILL DO territory, instead of HAVE DONE.

At some point, probably when beef chunks are more tenderer, add in the masa flour.  Also the corn. 


Edited for names of things.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 15, 2013, 11:57:49 AM
wait, you're adding masa flour to your chili?

WTF?

Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 15, 2013, 02:53:33 PM
Yeah I don't understand that at all.

Also, I think you are confusing mace for something else entirely. It has no spicy and is unrelated to the spray.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 15, 2013, 02:54:33 PM
LIQUID SMOKE???
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 15, 2013, 02:55:52 PM
Also I never put mace in chili, that was more of a general "favorite unexpected seasonings" comment.

Whatever the hell it is you made, I hope it turned out OK.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2013, 05:30:51 PM
-shrug- It is delicious and has the consistency of chili (or chili as I know it), so victory for me I guess.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 15, 2013, 09:35:49 PM
NO SERIOUSLY YOU PUT MASA FLOUR IN FRIGGIN' CHILI?!?

THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING THE TINIEST BIT OK.

IT'S SO NOT OK THAT I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED THE LIQUID SMOKE, WHICH IS ALSO VERY MUCH NOT OK BUT NOT TO THE SUPERNOVA-LIKE DEGREE THAT ADDING FLOUR TO CHILI IS.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A "HULKING OUT" EMOTE EXACTLY FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

FREEKY, SERIOUSLY, MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS STRUGGLING NOT TO BE LIKE THAT WEIRD JAPANESE PUBLIC HEALTH AD GUY.

FLOUR.

IN CHILI.

WHAT FUCKING KIND OF CHILI HAVE YOU BEEN EATING THAT FLOUR MUST BE ADDED TO MAKE IT SEEM RIGHT? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL. IT'S LIKE YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU ADDED DOGSHIT TO YOUR BUTERSCOTCH SUNDAE.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 15, 2013, 09:56:12 PM
D:  Sorry dude.  Question:  Is masa harina different, if not then I guess I'm dumb?  I found some recipes with and some without, and it was too much like a stew for it to be chili. 

My only defense is I've only ever had to eat my mom's chilli, which was years ago, and she's an awful cook.  Just disgusting.  She can ruin a pot roast in the crock pot.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 15, 2013, 10:11:28 PM
you found actual published recipes for chili that involved masa flour?

Jesus H Fuck. People should really have to pass a basic competency test before they go telling other people how to make food.

Chili is supposed to be thick, like a stew, but it's supposed to get that from simmering for hours (or days even) not from adding thickening agents, ESPECIALLY ones that aren't that good for thickening and have a very pronounced flavor. It's like some yokel was all 'HEY THURR MABEL, I DINT FELT LIKE MAKIN CORNBRED TO GO WIF THE CHILI TERNIGHT SO I DUN JUST THROWED THE CORNBREAD STUFFS RIGHT IN THE CHILI, SOO-WEE!" and then it got out onto the internet and therefore became something people actually do.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 01:08:41 AM
O.O   Okay.  I will remember that in the future.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 16, 2013, 10:56:55 AM
Having read your post in open bar, I just want to clarify that I'm not yelling AT you or belittling you in any way ITT. you just happened to be the person who introduced me to one of those things that just GETS me and then stayed within earshot.

Mind you, I am not the final culinary authority on ANYTHING. If you add some weird shit to your chili and think it's delicious then please don't let me stop you. :lulz:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 06:11:45 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 15, 2013, 09:35:49 PM
NO SERIOUSLY YOU PUT MASA FLOUR IN FRIGGIN' CHILI?!?

THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING THE TINIEST BIT OK.

IT'S SO NOT OK THAT I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED THE LIQUID SMOKE, WHICH IS ALSO VERY MUCH NOT OK BUT NOT TO THE SUPERNOVA-LIKE DEGREE THAT ADDING FLOUR TO CHILI IS.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A "HULKING OUT" EMOTE EXACTLY FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

FREEKY, SERIOUSLY, MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS STRUGGLING NOT TO BE LIKE THAT WEIRD JAPANESE PUBLIC HEALTH AD GUY.

FLOUR.

IN CHILI.

WHAT FUCKING KIND OF CHILI HAVE YOU BEEN EATING THAT FLOUR MUST BE ADDED TO MAKE IT SEEM RIGHT? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL. IT'S LIKE YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU ADDED DOGSHIT TO YOUR BUTERSCOTCH SUNDAE.

Canned chili, is my guess.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 06:15:10 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 15, 2013, 09:56:12 PM
D:  Sorry dude.  Question:  Is masa harina different, if not then I guess I'm dumb?  I found some recipes with and some without, and it was too much like a stew for it to be chili. 

My only defense is I've only ever had to eat my mom's chilli, which was years ago, and she's an awful cook.  Just disgusting.  She can ruin a pot roast in the crock pot.

My guess is that the blame can be placed squarely at the feet of fucking hippies. Fucking hippies should not HAVE internet access, because they do shit like post recipes that put masa in chili and apple cider vinegar in salsa.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 06:15:46 PM
It is, however, completely acceptable to toss your pork in masa before you brown it, when you're making a pork green chili.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 06:16:16 PM
But you better be browning that shit in LARD.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 16, 2013, 08:29:39 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 16, 2013, 06:15:46 PM
It is, however, completely acceptable to toss your pork in masa before you brown it, when you're making a pork green chili.

Oh, absolutely! I get upset when I get a chili verde with little shreds of pork instead of nice chunks because whoever cooked it didn't properly dredge and brown the meat.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 08:31:59 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 16, 2013, 10:56:55 AM
Having read your post in open bar, I just want to clarify that I'm not yelling AT you or belittling you in any way ITT. you just happened to be the person who introduced me to one of those things that just GETS me and then stayed within earshot.

Mind you, I am not the final culinary authority on ANYTHING. If you add some weird shit to your chili and think it's delicious then please don't let me stop you. :lulz:

Oh don't worry, I kind of figured you weren't yelling at me.  :lulz:  That was completely unrelated. 

It was a pretty amazing meltdown though. :lulz:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 08:35:24 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 16, 2013, 06:11:45 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 15, 2013, 09:35:49 PM
NO SERIOUSLY YOU PUT MASA FLOUR IN FRIGGIN' CHILI?!?

THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING THE TINIEST BIT OK.

IT'S SO NOT OK THAT I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED THE LIQUID SMOKE, WHICH IS ALSO VERY MUCH NOT OK BUT NOT TO THE SUPERNOVA-LIKE DEGREE THAT ADDING FLOUR TO CHILI IS.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A "HULKING OUT" EMOTE EXACTLY FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

FREEKY, SERIOUSLY, MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS STRUGGLING NOT TO BE LIKE THAT WEIRD JAPANESE PUBLIC HEALTH AD GUY.

FLOUR.

IN CHILI.

WHAT FUCKING KIND OF CHILI HAVE YOU BEEN EATING THAT FLOUR MUST BE ADDED TO MAKE IT SEEM RIGHT? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL. IT'S LIKE YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU ADDED DOGSHIT TO YOUR BUTERSCOTCH SUNDAE.

Canned chili, is my guess.

Canned chili would be better.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 08:39:06 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 16, 2013, 08:35:24 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 16, 2013, 06:11:45 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 15, 2013, 09:35:49 PM
NO SERIOUSLY YOU PUT MASA FLOUR IN FRIGGIN' CHILI?!?

THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO BEING THE TINIEST BIT OK.

IT'S SO NOT OK THAT I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED THE LIQUID SMOKE, WHICH IS ALSO VERY MUCH NOT OK BUT NOT TO THE SUPERNOVA-LIKE DEGREE THAT ADDING FLOUR TO CHILI IS.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A "HULKING OUT" EMOTE EXACTLY FOR SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

FREEKY, SERIOUSLY, MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS STRUGGLING NOT TO BE LIKE THAT WEIRD JAPANESE PUBLIC HEALTH AD GUY.

FLOUR.

IN CHILI.

WHAT FUCKING KIND OF CHILI HAVE YOU BEEN EATING THAT FLOUR MUST BE ADDED TO MAKE IT SEEM RIGHT? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL. IT'S LIKE YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU ADDED DOGSHIT TO YOUR BUTERSCOTCH SUNDAE.

Canned chili, is my guess.

Canned chili would be better.

:(
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 08:40:13 PM
My mother's cooking is atrocious. 
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 08:57:19 PM
My mom used to fry steak in olive oil.

No joke.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 09:02:57 PM
What a waste of good meat. :(
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 16, 2013, 09:04:57 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on June 16, 2013, 09:02:57 PM
What a waste of good meat. :(

Yeah, it was awful.
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 16, 2013, 09:14:13 PM
I don't think my mom even knows what constitutes GOOD food.  There's a jug of milk in her fridge, or there was yesterday, that had green patches on the inside.  It's weird because her house is otherwise sterile and lacking personality in it's cleanliness, even the rest of the fridge.

:vom:
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on June 17, 2013, 03:47:52 PM
I've seen a few recipes - I think even the one I use as a base when I make chili - that say to put corn meal in it. I've always wondered - WHY??? - and just skipped over it. My chili's probably still an abomination in the culinary world for one reason or another, though I've never had any complaints, but never saw the need for any sort of flour or corn meal.

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 16, 2013, 08:57:19 PM
My mom used to fry steak in olive oil.

No joke.

And that seems sad and confusing :(
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Ben Shapiro on June 18, 2013, 12:02:51 AM
If my mom wasn't a proud old school Mexican, and learned to read,speak English, and use a computer she'd vomit all over this thread.

What kind of chili are you making?
Mexican?
Tex-Mex?
New Mexican?
Red?
Brown?
Green?

Give me NAMES of this place that serves pineapple chili! I will burn them down like in WACO!
Title: Re: ATTN ECH or Alphapance perhaps
Post by: Freeky on June 18, 2013, 12:20:59 AM
Thread title will be changed to reflect my relationship with chili in general in a few seconds.  Please hold while we connect you.
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: Salty on June 18, 2013, 04:41:06 AM
Now I want to create Hole in the Ground Chili.
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 18, 2013, 11:09:19 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on June 18, 2013, 12:02:51 AM
If my mom wasn't a proud old school Mexican, and learned to read,speak English, and use a computer she'd vomit all over this thread.

What kind of chili are you making?
Mexican?
Tex-Mex?
New Mexican?
Red?
Brown?
Green?

Give me NAMES of this place that serves pineapple chili! I will burn them down like in WACO!

Mercifully, I don't remember the name of the place. It's been 13 or 14 years since the last time I ended up there. It's in El Paso. Like I said, it's a Chinese/Tex-Mex buffet. I hope to christ there's not more than one of those.
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: Sita on June 18, 2013, 12:14:19 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 18, 2013, 11:09:19 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on June 18, 2013, 12:02:51 AM
If my mom wasn't a proud old school Mexican, and learned to read,speak English, and use a computer she'd vomit all over this thread.

What kind of chili are you making?
Mexican?
Tex-Mex?
New Mexican?
Red?
Brown?
Green?

Give me NAMES of this place that serves pineapple chili! I will burn them down like in WACO!

Mercifully, I don't remember the name of the place. It's been 13 or 14 years since the last time I ended up there. It's in El Paso. Like I said, it's a Chinese/Tex-Mex buffet. I hope to christ there's not more than one of those.
Google informs me that there is indeed more than one of those in existence across the states.
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 18, 2013, 05:14:11 PM
Quote from: Sita on June 18, 2013, 12:14:19 PM
Quote from: Balls Wellington on June 18, 2013, 11:09:19 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on June 18, 2013, 12:02:51 AM
If my mom wasn't a proud old school Mexican, and learned to read,speak English, and use a computer she'd vomit all over this thread.

What kind of chili are you making?
Mexican?
Tex-Mex?
New Mexican?
Red?
Brown?
Green?

Give me NAMES of this place that serves pineapple chili! I will burn them down like in WACO!

Mercifully, I don't remember the name of the place. It's been 13 or 14 years since the last time I ended up there. It's in El Paso. Like I said, it's a Chinese/Tex-Mex buffet. I hope to christ there's not more than one of those.
Google informs me that there is indeed more than one of those in existence across the states.


NOOOOOOO

THAT IS NOT OK!  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: LMNO on June 18, 2013, 07:24:02 PM
Also Freeky, I hope you meant "simmer" when you wrote "boil".

I suspect boiling would be too aggressive of a heat level for the meat and veggies to handle.
Title: Re: EDIT: I DON'T KNOW CHILI FROM A HOLE IN THE GROUND.
Post by: Freeky on June 18, 2013, 07:26:47 PM
Unfortunately, I don't know.  I didn't get a chance to eat it.  It isn't that it was a big hit; it wasn't.  It got left out for a full day without being heated, so I don't think it's good anymore.