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By the way.  I have received a request to post another one of my works.  Before you say "Oh, God.  Another word salad", be sure to check it out.  You may become flabbergasted at what you find.

The story does have a logic to it.  It is very difficult to see, though.  Most people would just give up on

reading it because of the spacing and call it nonsense.  Hopefully, all of you here are not like that.  Recently,

the person that wrote this story has taken control of this account.  I am that person.  Anyways, I'll add more

spacing to the story so that it's more legible.  This is a story that sounds like crap at first glance (each

individual sentence sounds odd) but it has a faint system of explaining itself.  What this means is that you

could ask any question about the plot or the characters and another sentence in that text will explain it.

Fool your friends into thinking that their neighborhood is safe with the new XM25 Grenade Launcher.  It's super-neat.  Weapons of mass destruction should make way for this piece of shit.  Personally, I feel that this device, although being a support-based weapon, be a resource guzzler considering the fact that grenades and the power source must be replenished at various intervals.  The cost of artillery may be minimal at the start, but could eventually lead to financial trouble for the US.  Then again, this is under the assumption that mass production is considered and applied.

My friend was bored in his religion class and typed this.  Read it.

   Chaminade was a drone created by the sponges to open windows when it was too chilly so that the

cookies can bake at their own pace.  However, Chaminade secretly invented a salad dressing that would

change the bakery forever.  Fighting his way to the stars, Chaminade drank champagne in order to fuel his

bloodlust for French onion soup.  The Society of Mary Enthusiasts could not tolerate this insolence and

created a loan so large that he could not pay it off within 4 years.  Fortunately, the galactic vegetarian took

a part time job at a gas station long enough to make 120 payments, the equivalent for a pardon.  He snipped

coupons off of soda cans and traded them in for a spaceship which would replace the arm he lost in the

war.  Laser beams fascinated that religious nut.  The cookies were done and found it time to offer themselves

to the almighty crows.  Meanwhile, the Society of Mary Enthusiasts joined forces with the French onion soup

to create a television set which would hypnotize poor Chaminade into becoming a mainstream consumer at

Walgreens.  The lettuce was not fresh and so the dressing was in vain.  That foolish robot forgot to patent

his creation and so the dog ate it.  Chaminade had to travel back in time with the help of his creators, the

sponges, to patent the dressing so that the lettuce could be eaten.  The French onion soup found his

spaceship and stole all of the laser pointers onboard.  Staring at the blackboard with bluegrass in his mouth,

Chaminade wrote "hole" on the wall with a green crayon and traveled back 1 year into the past.  It was to his

dismay that he discovered the dark truth: he had created the sponges.  The drone developed feelings and

exploded into bite-sized pieces.  One of those pieces patented the dressing while the other met the love of

his life, Brandy.  Eventually, all of the shards of metal morphed back into one being like in

Terminator.  Chaminade was reborn 1 year early.  He was going to celebrate his birthday later.  He kissed

Brandy goodbye and clicked his heels while biting his tongue to return home.  With the laser pointers gone,

Chaminade became more ticked off than a clock and knocked over his spaceship with the power of baking

soda in his guts.  The French onion soup was there, ready to blind Chaminade just enough so that he would

have to buy a television in order to see himself at night.  The attack was thwarted as the crows took the

brunt of the attack.  The crows exploded and spewed candy corn all over the French onion soup, thereby

destroying it.  Chaminade couldn't punch the sun, anymore.  Without his spaceship, Chaminade had to face

off against the destructive force known as the Society of Mary Enthusiasts.


   To be continued...


The French onion soup was destroyed without Chaminade's bloodlust, so the champagne expired without a

cause and was properly buried in the vintage cemetery.  The Society of Mary Enthusiasts, without the 2nd

course dish from four star restaurants, decided it was time to close windows so that future cookies would

freeze.  From this, they could force Chaminade to rescue the tasty dough and thus be deactivated by means

of faulty programming.  The crows overheard this plan and flew to Mississippi in order to request

backup.  Meanwhile, Chaminade sat in a chair playing Humpty Dumpty Extreme on the game console he stole

from Toys R Us.  The evil force had reached thirty houses before our beloved robot noticed that his room was

surprisingly cooler.  He rushed into each room of "his" house in order to open the windows, only to look out

and see that the entire neighborhood was transforming into igloos.  The Society of Mary Enthusiasts watched

him work his magic, waiting for him to enter the house that had a built in wallpaper that sings the logical

errors of anything that enters.  As Chaminade was about to enter that specific building, his fate was going to

be sealed.  Fortunately, the crows returned... with Space Straws.  The space straws sucked up the Society

of Mary Enthusiasts and turned them into quince jelly.  The crows enjoyed this on their bread as they

sang "Stairway to Heaven".  Chaminade was free from his spell and returned to where his true home was...

into the sea.  Since he was a drone, after all, he short circuited, died, and killed all of the fish.


      THE END.

If this video was removed....THEN WHO WAS PHONE!?

So we have Confederate sympathizers posting here....I had hoped they all died out with my great Aunt.

It would be kinda satisfying to see him in a Nigerian prison though, wouldn't it?

I do not know about satisfying (apparently I need to become more sadistic), but it sure would be interesting.

The screenshot seems to disagree with the 'no warrant' part of the story.

The screenshot does provide reason for the shutdown, or at least provides proof that lawful means were undertaken as a warrant was provided.

I warned you.  I warned you all.

Haw haw, that Roger, he's so delightfully and amusingly paranoid!

How do the Nigerians plan on enforcing this on Cheney?
The whole thing seems like a cry for attention and nobody cares.
African nations have always been exploited, I see no reason as to why Western nations would begin to care now, seeing as most of them probably have similar scandals occurring within their own multinational corporations.
Good luck Nigeria.

Domestic Programs and Foreign Aid
-Cut foreign aid in half
-Eliminate earmarks
-Eliminate farm subsidies
-Reduce the federal workforce by 10 percent
-Cut 250,000 government contractors
-Cut aid to states by 5 percent

Military
-Reduce noncombat military compensation and overhead
-Reduce the number of troops in Iraq and Afghanistan to 60,000 by 2015

Health Care
-Increase the Medicare eligibility age to 68
-Reduce the tax break for employer-provided health insurance
-Cap Medicare growth starting in 2013

Social Security
-Reduce Social Security benefits for those with high incomes
-Tighten eligibility for disability
-Use an alternate measure for inflation

Existing Taxes
-The Lincoln-Kyl proposal
-President Obama's proposal
-Allow expiration for income above $250,000 a year
-Payroll tax: Subject some incomes above $106,000 to tax

New Taxes and Tax Reform
-Millionaire's tax on income above $1 million
-Eliminate loopholes, reduce rates (Bowles-Simpson plan)
-National sales tax
-Carbon Tax
-Bank Tax

The above is the only correct way to balance the budget: keep the military strong, tax the rich, tax the middle class, and tax polluting industries.

ALL HAIL THE GOD EMPEROR!

If Chaos is the ultimate truth of the universe then why does the Imperium of Man still rule the galaxy?

[I've read through the guide above]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/ba/Paranoia_XP.png

Anyone play(ed) this?
I've read through the guide above, as I plan to GM.
DISCUSS PARANOIA
(will post info about it later. must go!)

*Requia executes Epimetheus.

Knowing the rules is treason!

*Unqualified executes Requia.

Punishing treason is representative of loyalty to your government! And government is socialism! And socialism is communism! Exterminate the communists!

This logic is infallible. However, you have made ONE MISTAKE!
By executing someone for their obvious political affiliations you have shown us your true communistic nature. I am afraid at this point you must commit seppuku. This is your only remaining course of action.

[if]

Promote me to this forum's admin; you'll barely be sorry.

I think I just shit myself at the awesomeness of that.
I wonder what would happen if the military was organized that way.

Fixed.

The firebombing of that mosque sounds like a terrorist plot that was not organized by the FBI.  (unless it was)

This was no doubt done in some rash attempt by the Hindu's to sabotage world peace via the War in Iraq.
Interrogate every cow you know, they hold India's secrets.