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What's the best way to let someone in this situation know that they are mansplaining? Do you say "Hey, dude, you're mansplaining"? Or "So that's a camera? You don't say? I wasn't sure why I bought it."

Hm...that's tricky. I think, for situation you described in the OP, in the chatroom, saying "Thank you for wanting to help, but I'm not actually looking for advice..." is the most gracious yet direct way to say it.

I wish I had some suggestion for dealing with IRL situation, but I'm pretty shitty at dealing with IRL situations myself so take my advice with a grain of salt. Maybe try agreeing enthusiastically yet curtly with him and then quickly change the subject? For example:

Friend: "You know, the model T-480 lens is the best for capturing those close-up shots!"
You: "Absolutely! The geese are really coming in well this year. I think this might be the year that Betty starts laying eggs."*

* I know nothing about cameras or geese so I just kinda made this conversation up.

In an example Alty just mentioned, our friend saw the camera equipment in my office and started mansplaining photography, which is an interesting move since it assumed that I don't understand the equipment that I clearly own. I have purchased it and placed it on shelves in my workspace, yet his automatic assumption seemed to be that I do not understand it. Why, then, does he think I own it? For decoration perhaps? It makes little sense; why would anyone go into someone's workspace and assume that they know nothing about their own tools?

The only possible conclusion is that mansplaining is not so much intended for the receiver's benefit, but rather the mansplainer's own self-edification. It is a form of unsolicited vice, and therefore a form of verbal diarrhea.

I think the reason mansplaining is more prevalent in America rather than other countries is because American culture encourages verbal diarrhea. Even if what you're saying has no particular worth, the fact that you're forcing others to listen to you is an act of status.

Of course it's as simple, cut-and-dry, and universally applicable as those pop-psychology books make it out to be. But I think there's still validity to the basic concept and that it's relevant to the discussion ay hand.

I find myself doing this as well, and i think it has to do with the way men socialize as opposed to women. if a women brings up a subject to other women, the social assumption seems to be for the other woman to listen attentively. Whereas when a man brings up a topic to another man, the assumption tends to be that the issue is a "problem" that needs to be "solved". I remember hearing about this in a communications class once, but it has to do with the different genders having different social "languages". The pofessor also said that the kinds of things men and women value in friendships are different too. WOmen tend to value fidelity (hence all the listening and empathy) whereas men tend to value loyalty (the being willing to step in and help out if a problem DOES need solving)

That, or we all have tiny penises and were just not okay with it. who knows?

Yes, I think we have all been exposed to the "men and women have different communication styles" trope by this point. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, right? Except that of course outside of pop psychology and self-help books, it's not that simple. Socialization definitely plays a role, and the concept of gender-based communication styles is itself a form of social conditioning. We (should) all know that by now.

Nigel, I think you're being too quick to dismiss what Chelagoras is saying. Don't you think there's an appreciable difference between how men and women are conditioned to communicate, and also how men are conditioned to communicate with women, that contributes to the phenomenon of mainsplaining?

Sex. What the fuck is up with it?

Like, seriously. I'm having fun with it, with my Rockfriend, and yet...

I'm not accomplishing what I'm expected to do.

What. The. Fuck.

She's not having orgasms?

She needs to figure out that orgasms are taken, not given. She has to step up to the plate, use her hands, give you directions, etc.

It's a harder thing for some women to figure out than others, especially if they are not frequent masturbators, but it's definitely in her best interest to work that out.

Would you believe that my problem was literally the opposite? I managed to finally overcome that obstacle last night.

Now the only problem is the chafing that has built up over the hours spent pounding away to her great pleasure!

TMI, dude. TMI.

Sorry about that. I misread the parameters of acceptable discussion in this forum. I figured orgasm mention meant that other things were allowable. I was wrong.

It's been a weird and heady mix for me recently, of euphoria and anxiety, of pride and pain. I think I'm falling in love, or am in a temporary puppy love state.

But, well, thank you for your concern for her. I was planning to just randomly vent and never talk about it ever again.

Oh, anything's acceptable, really. Just, you know, socially speaking, pointless personal details of your dick's penetration of your girlfriend are pointless, gratuitous TMI and mostly seem like you're taking an opportunity to tell us details about your genitals and sex life for no real reason.

If you make it funny, though, there's a point and it's fine. But you probably wouldn't walk into a conversation where people are discussing sex in broad terms and be all, "HEY MY DICK HAS SCABS ON IT FROM FUCKING MY GIRLFRIEND FOR TWO HOURS BUT SHE REALLY LIKED IT". I mean, at least I hope you wouldn't.

FUCK YUO NIGEL MY MOTHER DIED FROM SCABS ON HER DICK

"buena buena medicina, buena buena luz divina"

I can't stop loling at the Clinton campaign's "7 ways Hillary Clinton is like your abuela" post.

"Hillary Clinton: Just like your Hispanic grandmother! Except neither Hispanic nor your grandmother."

Yeah, it's pretty awkward. 

I think I'm just going to stop trying to date for a while. Every time it ends up being that they like me more than I like them, and having to turn them down when they've got their hopes up gives anxiety. I know this potentially sounds kind of ass-hatty, since I'm the one doing the rejecting, but it still makes me feel really bad.

Dating is horrible, I hate it.

I would advise you to quit dating, but you already have. So I'll move on to part 2 of my advice, which is to fill the time you used to spend trying to date instead doing something that is fun and brings you into contact with more friend-people. School or hiking or yarnbombing or volunteering or some other thing like that.

That is, indeed good advice. Being out of schools makes it hard for me to meet people my age, and it also doesn't help that I live in a town mostly full of wine-sipping retirees. But it will be my goal to find a like-minded interest group. Even if it doesn't lead to me finding romance, it will help with feeling so isolated here.

I sincerely hate the whole holiday gift-giving season and all of its dreadful expectations.

So you're saying your not getting me a gift? 

I wanted an aquarium pony.

I have a stock tank full of "aquarium ponies" in the back yard, let me get a Mason jar and you can have as many as you want.

Now I'm almost afraid to ask.

>dating poor people
Gross

I don't know what you're trying to insinuate.

I liked this.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm kind of diabetic.

Also, sorry men, but I just cannot date you if you address me as "home skillet".

I sincerely hate the whole holiday gift-giving season and all of its dreadful expectations.

So you're saying your not getting me a gift? 

I wanted an aquarium pony.

I think I'm just going to stop trying to date for a while. Every time it ends up being that they like me more than I like them, and having to turn them down when they've got their hopes up gives anxiety. I know this potentially sounds kind of ass-hatty, since I'm the one doing the rejecting, but it still makes me feel really bad.