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I ATE TOO MANY FAJITAS

A word from the future: Cardio.

I'm not kidding. If you're going to fuck up your body, make sure your body can take it.


Trust me. I'd be in a much better place if I did a solid hour of cardio every day in my 20s.

I run 3 times a week. Or I try to run. These 60 yr old men lap me 

Gawd, I miss being that young, when that kinda shit was rote.


I mean, sure, I did the exact same thing today, but still.

I hope to continue this until my hair is grey. Actually my hair might be grey I don't know I keep dyeing it weird colors...

Fred, enjoy it while it lasts.

Getting drunk again. I'LL SHOW THAT HANGOVER  hopefully this time I wont wake up covered in bruises with a swollen lip.

I am so hungover my hangover has a hangover.

I snorted 5 whole marijuanas and now I'm gay.

  I was training for the Olympic Projectile Vomiting Team ok

  <- me

Apparently I missed the toilet and displeased my roommate greatly

You don't pay taxes on clothes? WTF? I never heard of such a thing. No wonder your state's finances are fucked. That's 90% of the disposable income of the 14-25 year old demographic not being taxed, is what that is.

Neither does MA or CT last I checked. It's considered a necessity.

Fuck dude, NH doesn't tax a goddamn thing except prepared food, lodging, and property and they're doing pretty damn good for themselves. Granted, they also are something like 75% state park and have a quarter of the population of RI, but I digress.

They prop up their state's finances by selling so much Allens Coffee Brandy to Mainers.

O GAWD I remember when you brought that stuff and I threw up everywhere. Well actually I don't remember because i blacked out. But I found the vomit the next day! 

He's kinda hot when not doing stupid hobbies and wearing dumb outfits 

I wish my father had done this... a ritualistic invitation to view him as a fellow human being with faults, rather than my idealized image of "father" would have been less traumatic than discovering the same person, by mistake, as he vomited his false teeth down the toilet on New Years Day morning.

I witnessed my father come home, crash into the wall, fall over, then vomit. Good times. I haven't quite replicated his technique, but I'm working on it.

Back off topic:  What is it about shitty little towns that put up huge Goddamn ridiculous monuments to stupid shit?  The giant nickel in Sudbury is almost as depressing as the big concrete cashew in Seguin.

A giant nickel. 

Around here we mostly satisfy ourselves with Paul Bunyan, because Paul Bunyan.

However, we also have what may be Oregon's most famous and beloved roadside attraction, the Mystery Hole.

We have a field of giant concrete corn. Because Ohio.

I drank too much vodka and my brain hurts.

All I can think about is how sweaty their balls must be in those outfits