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Topics - The Good Reverend Roger

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Apple Talk / Hey, Placid Dingo: Here's your fucking hero, you shitstain.
« on: October 04, 2017, 01:25:01 am »

Drags Magdalene for losing custody of her kids, accuses Legume of pederasty, and then

Blames me for the article.

And you're their pal.  Fuck you.  Die in a fire.

Apple Talk / Are you ready for the finals?
« on: September 13, 2017, 02:17:09 am »
1.  When you wake up screaming, it's because
 A.  Donald Trump really IS president.
 B.  Nazis really ARE walking around in broad daylight.
 C.  Weasels ran off with your spouse.
 D.  All of the above.

2.  The collection cup for date night is now collecting
 A.  Vomit.
 B.  Blood.
 C.  Your fingernail clippings.
 D.  Someone else's fingernails.

3.  You are running because
 A.  Insane cops.
 B.  Nazi death creatures from the hollow earth.
 C.  More weasels.
 D.  You still have legs.

4.  You are crying because
 A.  You vaguely remember having loved ones.
 B.  Tear gas.
 C.  Nobody witnessed you all shiny and chrome.
 D.  "irregardless" made it into the dictionary.

5.  You won't eat your pudding because
 A.  You didn't eat all of your meat.
 B.  You knew the guy the pudding used to be.
 C.  You no longer have the required orifices.
 D.  It's frozen solid, like everything else for a hundred miles in any direction.

6.  Even though the Earth is vomiting up the dead, and the government hasn't issued any edicts in weeks, you
 A.  Are safe in your buried storage container, eating your previous relatives, offspring, etc.
 B.  At least still have your guns.
 C.  Managed to save your waifu pillow
 D.  All of the above.

7.  Your neighbors are all raptured, leaving you behind with the weasels.  You
 A.  Help yourself to their stuff.
 B.  Console yourself that at least that crooked Hillary didn't win.
 C.  Run to the nearest church and explain to God that he has overlooked your exceptionalism.
 D.  Dance while the weasels rip your flesh.

8.  You are placed in charge of morale.  Your slogan is
 A.  Fallout is the new confetti.
 B.  Whiteboard your optimized personal demise.
 C.  Weasels are just fun with fangs.
 D.  I'm not crying.

9.  Your house is surrounded by zombies.  You
 A.  Don't notice.
 B.  Don't care.
 C.  Are green with envy.
 D.  Are a member of the zombie horde.

10.  Starvation has given you visions.  You realize
 A.  The Mormons - of all people - had it right.  You scream your rage to the universe.  It doesn't care.
 B.  You have run out of relatives and your storage container's air is getting pretty manky.
 C.  That tickling sensation?  Weasels.
 D.  You're late for work.  Again.

I am feeling a little proud of my country today, which has become a rarity these days.

Apple Talk / Just a heads up
« on: August 12, 2017, 04:43:38 am »
Uncle BadTouch is back all over FB, now as "Kayla Spears".  Do not look at profile, full of horrible kiddie shit. 

Apple Talk / The Dataist Manifesto, part II
« on: July 26, 2017, 01:56:13 am »
Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
- some wiseguy

The thing about problem solving is that it's hard fucking work.  It isn't over when you peel away all the bullshit and find the answer...Because then you have to prove it, and if you're particularly unlucky, you have to impliment it.  Act on it.

And this is really the point at which you can sort your basic ivory tower bullshit from genuinely useful information.  An unworkable answer is no answer at all, and all you've done is waste everyone's irreplaceable time on this planet.  This handy tip lets you discard communism, libertarianism, anarchism, supply side economics, and every damn clickbait "science" page ever inflicted on the internet.  If you want to sit around coming up with "solutions" that can't work, great.  Just do it in private and maybe wash your hands afterward.

Now, this doesn't mean you can't bring experts in.  Hell, you probably should, if it's anything technical.  But if you're just an "idea man", then no amount of experts can help you.  Nor can they help you if you hire them and then don't listen to them.  You might be the best engineer in the damn world, but don't try to explain porosity to a welder, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.

Which brings me to my next point.

You might be smart, but you're not the only one that is smart.

You MIGHT be an iconoclastic thinker.  Everyone else MIGHT be doing things wrong just because "that's how we've done it for 20 years" (and this DOES happen), but you can spare yourself a ton of misery, wasted effort, and the mockery of your peers if you just SHUT YOUR DAMN PIE HOLE and LISTEN when someone brings up an objection to your beautiful idea.  Especially if they've been doing it for 20 years.  Experience is a painful teacher, and why not learn something the EASY way, by which I mean "listening to what the other person has to say" rather than by signing up for what might be an unreasonable amount of said painful learning?

The future isn't just brought on by revolutionary speakers.  No.  Mostly, in fact, it is brought on by lifetimess of accumulated knowledge, of one generation after another learning from the mistakes of the people who came before them.  So when the blue collar dude who has been running that machine since before you were born tells you your idea is flawed, at least hear the guy out.  He might just save your reputation; in some cases, he might just save your life.

Which in fact leads to...

You are useless by yourself.

Humans are a cooperative species.  If you can't cooperate to achieve results, you have failed at "human".  If you discourage or punish cooperation, just throw yourself off the nearest bridge, because you are in fact directly harming the species by your very presence.  The world will not miss your "alpha" ass, and neither will the people around you.  You are not a leader or lone wolf, you are an impediment to everyone around you.

This also implies that you might have to share the credit for your beautiful idea's translation into real-world application.  How awful.  How terribly unfair.  Scream to me your anger at the very notion...But don't expect any sympathy from me, because almost all the great things in the world you live in came from humans being the insanely inventive, *cooperative* species that it is.

To be continued.

Apple Talk / The Dataist Manifesto, part I
« on: July 25, 2017, 01:13:20 am »
Aristotle was a toe-rag, and if his grave is ever located, people should crap on it.

There, I said it.

When approaching a problem, people tend to want to use either inductive reasoning or deductive reasoning, but successful problem-solvers use both.  Inductive reasoning is applied to generate a broad range of possible root causes, and then deductive reasoning is used to narrow the list until a solution is found.   The trick is to never allow a beautiful theory to blind you to what the data is telling you.  Logic relies on the brain structure of weaponized apes, and that structure imposes limitations that said apes must be able to look past by not ignoring what the actual, real-world results are.

In other words, Aristotle had it totally backwards and set humanity back a thousand years because he was one of the "ancients" and everyone had to listen to his stupid ass.

Know your own limitations.

I've been thinking about autism recently, and the perceived upsurge in the frequency in which it occurs.  It seems mostly to happen in developed areas, and seems to be a relatively recent thing.  In fact, the recorded frequency seems to have a direct correlation with increased calorie intake in a population.

Hypothesis:  Autism is related to the human mind's pattern recognition capability (people with mild autism are *really* good at spotting patterns), and people with autism simply have that part of their brain augmented by a decent diet during its development, similar to how well-nourished children tend to have better cognitive skills in general.

And since pattern recognition is so critical to our survival, maybe a higher level of development in that area could actually have adverse effects?  Like not being able to do anything but recognize patterns?

BUT:  I am not a neurologist.  And I am operating off of "data" that is largely not data at all, but rather general impressions.  For all I know, autism has always been around, but was referred to as "the village idiot" or "that guy who died from stepping on a bear."  Inductive reasoning has produced a really neat-looking hypothesis, but that's all it is...Neat-looking. 

And this is the part where a lot of people crawl up their own arse and go full David Avocado Wolfe.   The hypothesis is absolutely useless until it has been tested and data has been collected (again, fuck you, Aristotle) and the whole thing repeated, preferably by somebody else who really wants to tear you a very public new asshole.  If your hypothesis can survive that, it's probably worth taking seriously.

The universe doesn't lie to you, but YOU lie to you.

The universe follows exacting rules, no matter how it got there.  It never breaks its own rules, even when it seems to...If it looks like it's breaking the rules, you just don't know enough about the situation.  "Spooky action at a distance" is spooky because it's at a distance, or because you just flat out cannot see enough of the situation.  But humans will decide that the rules actually don't work at times, if it fits their comfort zone.

This is exactly why agnostics are so fucking annoying.  Everybody hates those guys...They're the only people who are doing it right, because you can't gather data on whether or not an omnipresent God or three are actually there or not.  Needless to say, agnostics are smug as hell about the whole thing, and should be kicked up and down the block until they wipe that smirk off of their faces.

To be continued.

Apple Talk / North Korean Rocket Engineering and You.
« on: July 12, 2017, 02:12:25 am »
So one of our inexperienced guys, working under an inexperienced supervisor (skilled engineer, but new to supervision), managed to mash his finger doing a job that was outside of his training.  And he wasn't trained enough to *know* that it was outside of his training.  7 stitches, an OSHA recordable incident, yada yada.  He has fully recovered, with only a teensy scar.

Now corporate safety is inclined to fire the guy and his supervisor.

The common joke is that North Korea can't make proper rockets because they shoot anyone that fails, under the assumption that you motivate people to succeed by getting rid of anyone who fails due to lack of experience.

Does anyone else see the fatal flaw here, or is it just me?

Any body of knowledge is built on a foundation of failures and mistakes.  You don't learn by success, because whatever you did was right and the assumption of being right is addictive as hell.  No, you learn by sometimes mashing your finger.

And learning should not be punishable by being fired.

Apple Talk / Nasty Vicious Gossip: Queen Gogira
« on: July 10, 2017, 11:30:28 pm »
What most people don't know is that QG is a real estate agent.  Specifically, she clears out unwanted people so the new owners can move in.  This is normally accomplished with some level of violence.  Example:  Last week a preeminent climate change scientist tripped over his own feet and fell in a farming combine.  Total mystery how he was so klutzy.

She is also the driving force behind the religious movements to ban contraception.

It's worth noting that her clients are not from around here.  No.  If only there were.  If only they were even mammals.

Apple Talk / Nasty Vicious Gossip: LMNO
« on: July 07, 2017, 02:15:15 am »
I hear people saying LMNO let the beat drop.

Thing is, I was there, and he did no such thing.  He was standing there, hair blowing in the wind, and hollering something about glitter and dynamite and "cutting ballast".  Then he cut the chain with bolt cutters, and all of the elderly Trump voters rolled off the back and onto the highway.  At speed.  Then he hopped onto the running board, yanked the door open, and shoved me over into the passenger seat.  He hit the off ramp at 90 MPH, and the cattle-catcher sliced a Prius clean in half. 

"THAT'S WHY WE HAVE WINDSHIELD WIPER FLUID", he howled, running over a Dodge Charger and one of those ugly-ass "Cube" things.  No big loss there.  When we hit the emergency room, we were still doing at least 60, and the wall caved right in.  We didn't stop until we were halfway through the cardiac ward. 

LMNO just GRINNED at me, and loaded his shotgun.  You know the rest from the video coverage.

So no, LMNO did not "let the beat drop."  He spiked that sumbitch.

Apple Talk / Nasty Vicious Gossip: Cain
« on: July 06, 2017, 03:30:32 am »
Who among us has never had a friend like Cain?  Who among us has never helped scrub every surface with bleach and tears?  Is there any person who has not sprayed acetone to destroy epithelial cells?  The stains still remain, no matter how hard you cry.  The smell never leaves, even when you get clever with lemon juice.  The Earth is soaked in vicious deeds and errant students, that's a fact, and not a square inch of the planet hasn't been touched by terrible deeds.

Not a person in his hometown can ever remember Cain being a child, and they'll not thank you for asking the details.  Hoary old greybeards tell yarns their grandfathers told them, of Cain's wickedness and his GRIN and his awful stare.  The town, the world, resembles a conveyor belt, with the youngsters dropped on one end, while the elderly fall off the other, down into the whirling blades.  Who among us has never tried to dodge the undertaker?  Who among us has not made pacts with shadowy powers?  It never works. 

Yet Cain remains, smiling at us all from under the hat he made from Johnny Rotten's face.

Apple Talk / 4th of July
« on: July 05, 2017, 01:48:13 am »
This is a great 4th of July.  Congress is dumb, the president is a clown, and we're all standing around and waiting for the end.

Well, maybe you are.

What we have in front of us is a series of technical challenges.  How to deal with global warming and an insanely large world population.  How to squeeze out more energy from a limited set of natural resources.  How to pull a Spiro Agnew on Pence before Trump has a stroke.  Sounds bad, but so does everything if you're scared.  Or addicted to postmodernism. 

But, you know, we went to the moon.  We split the atom, because why the fuck not?.  THEN we survived the cold war.

So, yeah, shit looks bad.  Shit looks really bad.  But so what?  The worst thing that can happen is that we die trying, and yanno, that's gonna happen anyway.

So stop your worrying, and learn to love the insanity for its own sake.  It's what we've always done.

Or Kill Me.

Propaganda Depository / Banning Nazis from PD
« on: May 14, 2017, 01:30:39 am »
Oh I'm just a White tribalist. I denounce violence and hatred.

You a moderate Muslim.


On the plus side, for you, that sort of shit is tolerated here.  For reasons that escape me.

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