I have recently received an Order of Cease and Desist from the NAAIH. (National Association for the Advancement of Ignorant Hillbillys)
It seems they have objected to my use of three jokes about hillbillys.
I find this inherently unfair, especially as they have also revoked my membership in the NRA and the PBR.
See what you think;
Joke 1)
A guy in Georgia was driving home late one night after drinking at the bar. As will happen he had to pee. So he pulled over and as he was standing there peeing he realized he was in a pumpkin patch.
It was a nice warm night and he got to wondering what it would feel like to fuck a pumpkin. After he finished peeing he cut a hole in a big pumpkin and was going at it. He was so into it he never heard the officer walk up behind behind him.
Officer - Sir, do you know you are fucking a pumpkin?
Drunk - Looks down in surprise and says, Is it midnight already?
Joke 2)
How do you circumcize a hillybilly?
A ) Kick his sister in the jaw.
Joke 3)
On his wedding night a young man was anxiously waiting in the honeymoon bed while his new bride was getting ready. When she came out she was beautiful. As she snuggled in bed with him she whispered I am a virgin.
The young man jumped out of bed, got dressed, slammed the door and went home.
As he walked in the door his mother demanded to know why he was home instead of on his honeymoon. Ignoring her he walked into the front room where his daddy was and told him, She told me she was a virgin, Daddy.
His daddy said well Son, you did the right thing. If she ain't good enough for her own family she sure ain't good enough for ours.
Now you decide. Was this worth all this harsh response?
Those last two were pretty bad. :lulz:
Offer them the opportunity to tell city slicker jokes. Let them find out for themselves that yours are funnier.
They are pretty much generic jokes, you could tell them about any ethnicity / Nationality/ or State. The first one was the funniest though.
Anyway, when was it decided that Hillbillys/ Republicans/ Canadians / or whoever were not to be the butt of peoples jokes?
No group, or subject, or person, or Religion are so exalted that thou shalt not ridicule, mock, or otherwise milk them for lulz.
The only factor as to whether a joke is valid or not, is if it's funny or not.
The more outraged and bent out of shape people get, the funnier the joke gets.
Some of the funniest jokes I know are about horrible, ghastly things.
There are topics that are so taboo in day to day conversation, that the only time the subject ever gets broached, is in 'inappropriate' jokes.
It's a social coping mechanism, a way for a society to get over things like Wars, Assasinations, Terrorist attacks, Hideous crimes, Racial division, all those things that people would get into a big fight about if they were to take to the streets shouting the odds, these are all the best 'Joke fodder'.
Call it what you like, if it can raise a laugh, rather than start a fight, then it's a joke. Mind you, the last two were pretty lame, but not because of the the subject matter, (Incest has always been a lively source of lulz) Just a bit lame.
I was going to end on an even lamer Hillbilly / Incest joke, but I can't think of one! :lol:
My cousins wife read those and got mad. My cousin looked at her and said, "That ain't funny is it, sis?."