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Or Kill Me / rant: Children suck.
« on: March 23, 2005, 07:28:40 pm »
Children suck. fact. the next time you see some kid, you should take his candy and kick him in the teeth. just be because he's a kid. and infants are useless, all they do is cry and keep people up at night. the time and effort put into raising children is disporportionate to the reward. the math is simple.

X>Y

X=time, effort, and money spent on kids.
Y-the reward
X is infinitely greater than Y

thusly I have proven that children suck. if you disagree with anything stated in this topic, you are wrong.

Hotsuma, still hating kids after all these years.

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Literate Chaotic / worst.book.evar.
« on: March 22, 2005, 12:50:42 am »
Atlanta Nights, I'll just let you read it for yourself...

http://critters.critique.org/sting/

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Literate Chaotic / 42
« on: March 09, 2005, 11:30:08 am »
the complete hitchhickers guide to the galaxy trilogy.
online.

http://www.clearwhitelight.org/hitch/

because they're great.

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Or Kill Me / Soccer moms can blow me.
« on: January 24, 2005, 07:49:03 am »
note: taken from some other forum, the sentiments are shared and copy/pasting took less time than typing out a rant that would've been almost exactly the same.


Did you know that there is a growing threat to society and the world as we know it? A group so dangerous that it threatens not only the rights given to us by the constitution but also the livelihood of our children? This cataclysmic force is the infamous soccer mom. Her attempts to avoid the responsibilities of parenthood have threatened everything that we as Americans, NO!, as humans, have sought so long to preserve.

Soccer moms have resorted to drastic measures to control their children while avoiding the simple solution, discipline. Moms who fail to discipline their child reinforce the childs negative behavior. In a recent visit to the park, I noticed a child knock down another child and take his toy. When his mother was confronted, she refused to believe it. Not my son! Hes a perfect little angel. Later, when he did something similar directly in her view, she maintained her illusion, Hes to Na?ve. He doesnt know what hes doing. The child then came up to his mother, Mommy, can I have some ice cream? Its too close to dinner, youll spoil your appetite. But daddy would get me ice cream. well, I guess we can stop at Baskin Robbins on the way home. Soccer moms who let their child always get their way leave them ill prepared to deal with the harsh realities of the world around them later in life. In the real world, you wont always get what you want, and youll be able to deal with it better if you have experience from your childhood.

Mothers have tried to find an easy way to control their children. The son of one of my neighboring soccer moms, eight year old Nathan, takes three doses of Vitamin R everyday, one before each meal. Ritalin is used to control the supposed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder which is characterized as a short attention span. Soccer moms are relieved to discover that their child has ADHD because it gives them an excuse for their childs poor grades in school and terrible behavior. I often find myself wondering, could it be that ADHD is really just CTD, childlike tendency disorder? Symptoms are pretty much the same, near constant running and skipping, spontaneous bursts of song and shouting, poor impulse control with regard to sugared snacks. These moms use ADHD to avoid responsibility, oh my son knocked over that fragile clock? Im soo sorry, I cant seem to control him ever since he was diagnosed with ADHD. A class action suit has been brought against the manufacturers of Ritalin. The charge? They conspired with the American Psychiatric Association in order to make the definition of ADHD so broad that it could be applied to almost anyone. Moms buy into the hype because they are ready to listen to anyone who will tell them that Poor parenting is not to blame, OH NO!, the child just has a physical ailment, Isnt that a relief?

Another place soccer moms have turned to for advice on how to raise their kids is the television, as members of what I have deemed Oprahs army. One of Oprahs minions, Dr. Phil, has a philosophy show watched by millions of mothers each day. They just follow his generic advice and raise robots, and no the good kind of robots with laser cannons that destroyĶ ErĶ save the world, but conformist robots with no personalities. I believe that every child is unique. What works for one child may not be the best solution for another. Mothers need to realize that they should encourage individuality in their children, not stifle it.

Soccer moms have a responsibility to raise their child to be a functioning member of our society. They need to realize that there is no easy way to raise a child, and it will require a little pain along the way, for the child and the parent. Thank you.

6
Or Kill Me / The Power Rangers are RACIST!
« on: September 15, 2004, 01:28:31 pm »
Here are the facts,

The black power ranger was black, and didn't even get an actual dinosaur as his zord.
The yellow ranger was asian, and also didn't have a dinosaur as her zord.
The green ranger was Irish.
The red ranger was native american.
the pink ranger (who later became a porn star) was your standard preppie american gal, and also didn't get an actual dinosaur for her zord.
The white power ranger was the most powerful.

there was never a rainbow ranger, which obviously shoes the discrimination against the homosexual community.

they killed the blue ranger, who was a nerd...showing their discrimination aganst the geek community.


Cool dudes with attitudes... Or prejudice androids and a floating head?! You be the judge.

7
Or Kill Me / Hotsuma's Reviews: Viewtiful Joe
« on: September 09, 2004, 07:36:31 am »
Title: Viewtiful Joe (PS2)
Developer: Clover Studios (aka, Capcom)

Grapics: Despite that Viretiful Joe had amazing graphics on the Gamecube hasn't seemed to hinder anything on the PS2, they're a but darker but it isn't really prevelant. the cell shaded style really suits the game's attitude and definetly sets it apart from other titles. 9


Gameplay: tied for the best part of the game, the gameplay is superb. Clover managed to make combat easy, but not make battles easy. Joe learns a variety of powers through out the game, including slow-mo, mach speed, and zoom-in. slow mo is essentially bullet time, allowing you to dodge bullets,or punch them back. Mach lets you enleash a flurry of punches/kicks at lightning speed, so much so that he may burst into flames. zoom gives you the close up you asked for, and with the reduced screen size it may stun some enemies. aside from those you can purchase some attacks from the in game shop to add bombs, flaming kicks, super mach speed, and other things to your aresenal. other than the obvious battle implications, the powers serve the purpose of puzzle solving. can't jump high enough to rech the flying platform? just slow down time to make it's propeller not spin as fast. is the enemy making a sheild of fire? just use mach until your ablaze and pass right through it. that type of thing.  10

Story: the other best part of the game, put simply...they story is funny. Joe's oblivious nature, and desire to show off really makes for some interesting conversations with bosses. on top of that the whole game is one big movie parody. from "some like it hot" to "star wars" there's more parodies in this movie than I'm probably aware of. 10

Sound: the voice acting is generally good, as is the music...however some bosses can be kinda hard to understand. 9

Other: there's alot of slowdown during one of the boss fights, and all of the extra characters dialouge is dubbed over by gibberish...very annoying...oh yeah...and dante's skivvies... 8

Final Verdict: Viewtiful Joe is one of those games, that should be in every PS2 owners collection, and on that note...Henshin a go go, Baby! 9.2

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Or Kill Me / These forums are dead (part II)
« on: August 11, 2004, 05:32:00 pm »

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Or Kill Me / These forums are dead.
« on: August 08, 2004, 01:34:25 am »
Now I know what your saying, "But Hotsuma, people still post. how can it be dead?"

Simple, the forums are dead becasue nothing new is being posted. it's all degenerated into the same crap over, and over, and over.

Before you say "but you posted the same crap over and over too!" I'm going to say, that I'm well aware of that. which is why I'm running damage control and getting out so I don't have to watch one of my favorite Web Forums degenerate into complete and utter shitdom.

It's pretty tough to say exactly when the forums started going to hell, so I'm not going to try to pinpoint it.

I know I'm being an attention whore about it, but I figure better this than letting you all wonder "where'd he go anyway?"

As of this moment I'm officially AWOL.


Hotsuma,
going the way of the dinosaurs

10
Principia Discussion / What do the mods do around here?
« on: August 08, 2004, 12:28:15 am »
Seriously, I've never seen them actually do anything usefull.

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Or Kill Me / Hotsuma's Ranting: Vegitarianisim is fucking stupid.
« on: August 04, 2004, 10:09:01 am »
Read the topic title, then accept it as fact. why? because I've never heard a valid argument that supports vegitarianisim. allow me to recite a few.

Well I think that it's wrong to kill animals.
as a general rule of thumb, people who use this are usually wearing leather shoes. apparently your against killing animals unless it's for your benifit. hypocrite.

the cow had a family too.
yeah? and odds are that the cow's ramily was butchered right along with it. no harm, no foul.

it's the same thing is if I went out and started eating little kids
aside from the obvious "what the fuck are you smoking?!" response. I'm still going to eat meat, if you go out and start eating children it's not going to make me change my mind.

there are many others, but I'd like to continue with my rant.

Recent discoveries in the fossile records show that our ancestors' brains didn't start to increase in size until there was animal protien in their diet. how does one get animal protien in their diet? duh, eating animals. simply put, the human race wouldn't be here today if we hadn't eaten other animals. we have canines, they're designed for tearing flesh. we're omnivores. were supposed to eat meat and non-meat items.

and lets not forget that not eating meat can seriously fuck up your your diet. many vegitarians don't get enough protien in their diet. it also much easier to eat meat and veggies/fruit as opposed to keeping track of what fruits/veggies you've eaten so you know when your protien levels are in the green.

ironicly enough, plenty of veg-heads eat Jello.
NEWS FLASH: Gelatin is made out of meat you dim wits. next time you make chicken stock put some of it in the fridge overnight, and in the morning tell me what popular desert item is now in the container.

and to top it off, it doesn't matter if you don't eat meat. people are still going to buy it. your not saving any animals by depriving yourself of meat.

any veg-heads are more than welcome to post arguments for me to shoot down.

Hotsuma,
doesn't like vegitarianisim.

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Or Kill Me / Jurassic Park.
« on: July 30, 2004, 05:34:12 am »
Jurassic Park: best overall
The Lost World: Jurassic Park: best acting
Jurassic Park 3: best visuals




Jurassic Park Trilogy > Lord of the Rings Trilogy=The Matrix > Star Wars > The Martix 2&3.

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Or Kill Me / Hotsuma's Reviews: Drakengard
« on: July 04, 2004, 01:04:02 pm »
Title: Drakengard
Developer: Enix

Gamepaly: Enix just tried to do too much on Drakengard. Mixing Panzer Dragoon and Dynasty Warriors might seem like a good idea in theory, it doesn't come to reality too well. the on-dragon segments just don't control well, and the controls are sluggish to respond. the targeting system is just plain...bad, it's hard to tell if your even locked on...and even yough you can charge your attacks, it's nigh impossible to tell how much you've charged up. not to mention the camera has a tendancy to focus right up the dragon's ass, and also gets stuck making it impossible to control. the on-foot segments aren't too great either. even though you can fight tons of enemies at a time, they're all as dumb as rocks and just stand around so you can kill them. there's a ton of weapons you can choose from...but aside from their range there aren't any real differences between them. did I mention that you randomly heal? yeah, you'll be running around killing dudes...then your life re-fills for no reason. despite it's flaws, the gameplay is probally the best part of the game. 12/20
Graphics: They aren't actually all that bad actually. the graphics are a bit grainy, and un detailed...but they're aren't the worst I've seen. the character design isn't the best either. 11/20
Story: the second best part, the story is actually fairly...acceptable, it has revenge, and war, and love, and...stuff...the kind of stuff you'd expect from an RPG, not an action game. there are a grand total of 5 endings though, which isn't too shabby, and adds a pants load of replay value. 12/20
Sound: ugh... this is definetly the WORST part of the game. the VO is enough to make one run from the room screaming. random accents tossed in here and there. more bad lines than Yuna in a porn flick, and the dragon just sounds so stupid it lowered my IQ by about 6 points. 4/20

Score: 39/80
Pros: Lots of ending, weapons, and enemies to kill
Cons: piss poor sound, not that good of gameplay, not much reason to use other weapons

Final Verdict
I can't help but get the feeling, that if the developers had just focused on making a Panzer Dragoon clone, the game would have been better. it's not the worst game I've ever played, but not good enough to be qualified as good. my advise...steer clear, but if your still interested, rent it before buying.

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Or Kill Me / Hotsuma's Reviews: Serious Sam: the next encounter
« on: June 30, 2004, 08:01:10 am »
Title: Serious Sam: the next encounter
Developer: Climax (you read it right)


Graphics: lets dive right in shall we? good. the graphics are something right out of a PS1 game. simple as that grainy, low quality things generally wiggle at you alot and there isn't much of any way to tell when you get hurt, or when you walk off a cliff, or if your even touching something...actually there's no way to tell. 6/20


Sound: where to start on the sound? how about the voice acting, it's bad...real bad, you can't under stand anything sam says...not that you'd want to...but the sound effects aren't much better, it's pretty much the same shot sound for every gun. and the music? there isn't any. 2/20


Story: not much to say here, I couldn't see any actual story...only a cut scene in which the camera zooms in on an egg...thing...0/20

Gameplay: normally I put gameplay at the top of the review...well I was saving the best for last...thats not saying much though...whenever I booted up the game my controls were inverted, so I'd have to navigate through an annoying interface to change that. and the aiming is incredibly twitchy, it's almost impossible to dodge attacks, because apparently they hurt you even if they aren't aimed at you. swimming is a pain, and for some reason the chainsaw has about a 3 foot range BEOYND the chain...yeah...no comment. the enemy design is shitty, I encountered bats, big ugly...things, little ugly...things, flying...things, fish, roman soldiers, burly gladiators, headless wizards, and screaming headless people who explode on you. wait...what was that?

screming headless people who explode on you

you read it right...there's so many things wrong with this game it's actually kind of hard to tell what's bad and what isn't...wait, yest it is...there is no good. I'm confused...why am I playing this? is this some kind of sick joke? I honestly don't know, what I do know is that Serious Sam: the next encounter has become the game of which all other bad games will be judged by.  7/20


Score: 15/80
Pros:
+...
Cons:
-grapics, gameplay, sound, story...everything pretty much...

Final Verdict:
I thought I was crying when I was playing this game...it turned out my eyes were bleeding.

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Or Kill Me / Hotsuma's Reviews: Zone of the Enders: the Second Runner
« on: June 21, 2004, 11:36:32 am »
Title: Zone of the Enders: the Second Runner  (ZOE2)
Developer: Konami

Gameplay: Definetly ZOE2's strongest aspect, the controls are perfect for what you have to do with them, the action is fast paced, frantic, and challenging but not fustrating. and even within it's linear pacing, there's no shorting of ways to dispose of your enemies, and plenty of diffrent things to do. whether your chaing down a train, protecting a town, or shooting down a fleet of battle cruisers, it never feels repititious. 20/20
Graphics: the grapics are top notch, the in game graphics are on par with anything that the X-Box could produce and the cinema scenes are straight out of the cells of anime, which is more than welcome after looking back on the cheesy looking CG scenes from the first. the graphics recieve a breath of fresh air with just a hint of cell-shading. the tiny additions help alot too, whenever you fly through a cloud of smoke whispy gray things trail off of Jehuty. the frame rate can hit a few snags when the particle effects start getting insane after you wipe out 20+ enemies. and since you do that alot...19/20
Story: the story is where the entire ZOE franchise falls short, not because it's bad...but because it's so expansive. if you havn't played both of the PS2 games, the GBA game, and watched all 7 animes, your probally not goint to know what the hell is going on. if you have, well congrats...you've done something I havn't. 10/20
Sound: the sound is good, but not perfect, therre's plenty of awkward lines here and there. but the overall quality of the sound effects of spot on. 15/20
Tilt: it's a bit on the short side, but it has plenty of replay value, multiplayer capability and oodles of stuff to unlock. the gameplay never feels linear...even thoug it is. superb graphics, excellent gameplay, good story, and the feild battle is one of the best moments in gaming, period. there just isn't much of a reason NOT to own this game. 20/20

Final Verdict:
84/100, B, above average.

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